October Is Almost Here!

I just realized today that October is a month an a half away! And I have done nothing, promotion-wise, for Virtually Hers. Been. So. Busy.

And I'll be very, very busy all the way to end of Sept too. First, I have to get the first chapter to Virtually One ready because my editor thought it would be a good idea to insert that at the end of Virtually Hers. It's very rough right now and boy, this cold isn't helping the rewriting one bit.

Then, I've been invited to contribute in an anthology for The Mammoth Book of Spec. Ops. Romance. It sounds great but the deadline is end of September! I'm nervous that I can't do it because that's a lot of writing.

Oh, not to forget, Sept. 15 is deadline for my Business Tax Extension. HAHAHAHAHAHAHA. Sob.

Sure I'll do it. Not a problem!

Oh, nearly forgot. I started the post saying that I've done zilch about promoting VHers, which I need to do for the next month or so. I need my reviewer readers out there who review for blogs, sites, and such, who won't mind an e-ARC. I need peeps who know about blogs that review ebooks. Please either post here or email me with info about your review site. Really appreciated.

(No, you cannot pretend to be a reviewer because you want hot Jed in your hands ;-) because I'll ck your site, silly. But I love your enthusiasm anyway. Also, I'll think of a good contest, like, say, a HARD COPY of Virtually Hers, in the next couple of weeks. Happy now? Smooches!)

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ATChooo!

Sniff.

Atchoo!

Sniffsniffsnort sniff. AAAAAAAATTTCHooooooo!

I'm dweeeeling dout offit. But I'm bosting while sneeeeeeeeeeCHOOO! See wha a goo bloggirrr I yam?

Whyamyup chooask? Twying to get Chapter One of Wortually One in shape for back of book. See wha a goo authorrrr I...cHOOoooo?!

All fwo you. All four you my dahlinks....

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And Now Something Beyond Deep Thoughts

You don't need to dwell too long on this video and I guarantee you will think of another way to gain...umm...strong upper arms. But then you'll probably need a JR Ward seven-foot vampire/brothah to really, really, REALLLLY achieve the effect.

I promise this video isn't as weird as the pics from the post before.

$19.95? Really? ;-)

Via the Smart Bitches.

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Too Weird Not To Share

Paintings of Obama Naked With Unicorns

Go on. I dare ya.

Maybe you can explain some of them to me.

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TA DA!

Look, look! Oct is almost here ;-).

Jed time is coming! This is the new Virtually Hers cover. Hope y'all like it!

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WINNER of RWA Vintage Tote Bag

Thank you for entering the contest! It's always fun to read what one's first romance book is and see how far we've gone ;-).

Out of fairness, I put all your names in the totebag and picked the winner and it is...

DRUMROLL...

HEATHER.

Congratulations! Please email me, Heather, with your snailmail addy.

As for everyone else, don't worry, I have a LOT of RWA Loot to give away in the near future ;-). I want to use them to promote VIRTUALLY HERS, though, so if you have any good suggestions how to make a fun contest that will also help me to get VHERS pub date out in the web world, please leave me a post!

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How Hot Was It?

Nobody believed me when I told them yesterday that my shoes were melting. Tada. Look at my brand new shoes. Half an hour on the roof later, and the glue melted and I was soleless!

Then everything started to fall apart at the seams! It was strange...I had the top of my shoes on, but everything at the bottom just fell off piece by piece.

Somebody suggested duct tape. Male of course.

I opted for a new pair of shoes.

And yes, it was THAT HOT yesterday even my sole left me. Bwaha!

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Work, Words, and Worth

I've been inundated with work since coming home last week (has it already been a week?!). Besides my darling older furbabies' health issues, I have to literally run from job to job and roof to roof trying to catch up. Then it's running home to ck on the old babies and given them their medication. The other night, I basically sat down and blanked out for five hours, and waking up to hungry dogs and unfinished chores.

Then my editor sent me a major suggestion--to cut out all three chapters containing past scenes from Jed's life because they aren't really needed for the main story to flow. Wahhhhhhh.... I couldn't handle it at that moment and just ate a tub of ice cream. It's a decision that's very hard for an author to take but one has to trust one's editor because we're working towards the same goal--a better book. The important thing, of course, is making everyone happy ;-).

So anyway, if you have read all my excerpts and later don't see the "little Jed" excerpt posted on the right column of this blog, the one that starts with a kid named Conor (Jed's middle name), it's because it didn't make it into the final cut of the book. I think if I don't rewrite/revise them, I'll just post these chapters on the Intermundia blog as well as my website. What do you think? Would you be interested? It's just Jed's past, events that I thought would be perfect mirrors to what was happening in the book, between him and Hell, giving the reader another layer to see how Jed became the Jed we know. Some of you might like that; some of you, like my editor, won't need those scenes.

It's all about work, words, and worth. This is my motto as I think of what is and how it's more important.

It's Friday and fun video time, of course. Here's one of a Perfect Divorce. Every one should end their relationship in this manner, I think!

Happy Weekend! And yes, the totebag contest below is still open for all till Sunday.

Hopefully, your life hasn't been as stressful as mine this past week. If you have a gripe, let's hear it. You hear mine all the time!

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Harlequin Vintage Tote Bag 2009 Giveaway

These pretty bags were given out to RWA attendees this year. It's big and decorated with vintage Harlequin cover art. Many of my friends gave theirs to me because they were difficult to fold into their carry-on luggage without creasing.

I HAVE ONE TO GIVE AWAY. With maybe a book or two inside ;-).

If you'd like to win this awesome tote, write a comment in this post, telling me about your first romance book and what do you want to see/read in your romance book today.

For example, my first romance book was Rosemary Rogers' Sweet Savage Love. Or maybe it was a Barbara Cartland, but I can't remember a single title from my collection of her books. RR's story, however, definitely changed my reading habits forever ;-).

As for what I want to read in my romances today, I'd like fewer sex scenes and more h/h sexual tension and relationship exploration. I feel that 15 pages of bedroom antics followed by 2 pages of plot followed by another 15 pages of sexxoring too boring for my current taste. Thirty years ago, yeah, that was titillating. Good tight dialogue, filled with sexy tension, or angst, or Teh Funny is more satisfying and so lacking in my romance reading these days.

So, your turn.

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You Know Prez Obama Wants To Read It

Check out the pics in this article of President Obama thumbing through a romance novel gifted to his wife by romance novelist Geri Krotow, former naval intelligence officer, Annapolis graduate, and the wife of the current naval attache stationed at the American Embassy in Moscow. I bet he's going to steal it from Michelle and read it when no one's looking ;-).

His expression is priceless!

Imagine putting a quote by the Prez of the United States on your cover: "This is sexy!" I'd love that!

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Post #2: I Cannot Live Without Books

And RWA slakes my thirst, hunger, need...everything! ;-)

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If You Ever Feel Stupid

If you ever feel a little bit stupid, just dig this up and read it again; you'll begin to think you're a genius.

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(On September 17, 1994, Alabama's Heather Whitestone was selected as Miss America 1995.)

Question: If you could live forever, would you and why?

Answer: "I would not live forever, because we should not live forever, because if we were supposed to live forever, then we would live forever, but we cannot live forever, which is why I would not live forever,"

--Miss Alabama in the 1994 Miss USA contest.

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"Whenever I watch TV and see those poor starving kids all over the world, I can't help but cry. I mean I'd love to be skinny like that, but not with all those flies and death and stuff."

--Mariah Carey

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"Smoking kills. If you're killed, you've lost a very important part of your life,"

-- Brooke Shields, during an interview to become spokesperson for federal anti-smoking campaign .

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"I've never had major knee surgery on any other part of my body,"

--Winston Bennett, University of Kentucky basketball forward.

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"Outside of the killings, Washington has one of the lowest crime rates in the country,"

--Mayor Marion Barry, Washington , DC . ,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,

"That lowdown scoundrel deserves to be kicked to death by a jackass, and I'm just the one to do it,"

--A congressional candidate in Texas .

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"Half this game is ninety percent mental."

--Philadelphia Phillies manager, Danny Ozark

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"It isn't pollution that's harming the environment. It's the impurities in our air and water that are doing it."

--Al Gore, Vice President

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"I love California . I practically grew up in Phoenix ."

-- Dan Quayle

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"We've got to pause and ask ourselves: How much clean air do we need?"

--Lee Iacocca

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"The word "genius" isn't applicable in football. A genius is a guy like Norman Einstein."

--Joe Theisman, NFL football quarterback & sports analyst.

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"We don't necessarily discriminate. We simply exclude certain types of people."

-- Colonel Gerald Wellman, ROTC Instructor.

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"Your food stamps will be stopped effective March 1992 because we received notice that you passed away. May God bless you. You may reapply if there is a change in your circumstances."

--Department of Social Services, Greenville , South Carolina

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"Traditionally, most of Australia 's imports come from overseas."

--Keppel Enderbery

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"If somebody has a bad heart, they can plug this jack in at night as they go to bed and it will monitor their heart throughout the night. And the next morning, when they wake up dead, there'll be a record."

--Mark S. Fowler, FCC Chairman

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I Start Them Out Early ;-)

As you can see, my two nieces are either great actresses or brilliant readers ;-).

Aren't my girls the cutest? They are just too cute.

Sorry for not posting more RWA pics and news, but since coming home, I have an emergency with my furbaby and life has been hectic. Please bear with me while I resize the photos slower than a gopher crosses the road. Tomorrow, I'll take a pic of my RWA Book Loot for y'all to drool over, 'kay?

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RWA GALA Pics

More random pics and thoughts for you while I drive the 800 miles home. I can't believe it's now a week since I started the trip!

This is me and Joanna Bourne, one of my favorite historical authors. She won the RITA and I was so excited for her! Joanna is really sweet and a wonderful writer. Hot heros too!

Jacquie d'Alessandro is also one of my favorite authors and good friends. She's both glamorous and fun-loving.

My roomie, Cindy Gerard, also won the RITA for Best Romantic Suspense. It was a really competitive category and so exciting, just like the Oscars ;-). Then our group screamed when Cindy's name was called out.

Friendly Victoria Dahl and her halo was a hit at the bar ;-).

Here are two great writers whom I admire: Jennifer Greene and Anne Stuart. Jennifer was my mentor in the mid-90s and was always cheering me on when I was just an aspiring writer. Anne was also a wonderful presence at the Prodigy boards way back when and I started collected all her books after the first one I tried. Her heros are damn yummy and irresistible.

Now my nieces are calling me to play with them again and I must go, in the middle of packing. More reminiscing later!

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RWA Quote of the Night: "I Can Give Ten Orgasms Too."

Since it's going to take me a few days to reach home (stopping at sis' place and a leisurely drive home), I'll be uploading photos haphazardly and out of sequence. It's hard to find time to resize the photos while my nieces are around! ;-)


The grounds at the Marriott Wardman-Park Hotel are very beautiful. This is part of a glorious landscape that you could view from your window or while walking down to Connecticut Av. to catch the metro. Of course, many of us were wandering the hotel in between workshops and book signings and barely made it out into the sunshine.

And oh, yeah, the bar. It was very, very popular. I bumped into many editors and agents in between drinks and managed to exchange a card or two.

Quick bar story: There were some Marines staying at the hotel/hanging out at the bar. I heard quite a bit about them, and obviously, they quickly figured out from the attendees what those books they toted all over the hotel were all about. One of them said to a pretty romance reader, an earnest look on his face, "I can give ten orgasms too."

Heehee. Nope, I didn't, so you can scrub those naughty thoughts out of your head. I was too busy sleeping with someone else:


And yes, I'd go bi- for RITA. She was heavy, much heavier than I thought she would be, and laid in my arms all night till Cindy Gerard snatched her earlier this morning to take her home, sniff. That Cindy is such an insensitive, stingy bi-otch.

Finally, after saying goodbye to all, and sharing a delicious lunch with Rosemary Potter, the Bookseller of the Year (all the way from Australia!!!), I waved goodbye and drove off in my carful of books.

More pictures coming...but I need to decompress!

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RWA Quote of the Day: "My feet are killing me"

I'm still recovering from yesterday, especially last night. Who knew dancing all night like that would hurt a roofer's thighs? I must remember NOT to do that split again...;-)

Tonight is the gala so many of the authors will be taking it a bit easier during the day, but there are still workshops and booksignings for the brave and willing. I spotted Jim and Sharon Butcher and got some books. I squeed when I caught Joanna Bourne alone for a few minutes. I pouted because Ann Aguirre ran out of books. I am also totally knocked over when attendees came up to me and told me they were impressed with my moderating skillz. That caught me by surprise. First, most of the time, one remembers the workshop, not the moderator. Second, I always think I suck at public speaking. Must have gotten better at it since my first disaster when I announced a workshop as "The UNconscious Writer" instead of the "The SUBconscious Writer." LOL. Man. Yeah, that one was embarrassing.

I know. I'm babbling and no pics. I'll download those later, when my feet stop hurting. I kept telling myself that I really should go downtown to DC to look at the White House, which I heard was kind of an important place. But my feet. They not happy. They're bitching. And, there's an opening at the spa for a massage. It's such a tough, tough decision. Spa...White House...pamperation...walkwalkwalkathon...work on my foot...more footwork. I just don't know.

Anyway, last night was super fun, even though no trees fell on any romance authors. The Conga Line started early and then everyone did Thriller. Like the deejay yelled out, "Show your claws!" We romance authors knew how to do zombie very well, it seemed.

I rubbed shoulders with La Nora, Jacquie D'Alessandro, Jill St. John, Kylie Brant, Liz Maverick, and so many others. I laughed so hard at Jade Lee leading the Time Warp I fell off my perch by the bar. I was also part of the Hair Brigade with agent Lucienne Diver, who could shake and swing her hair better than Cher in her heyday.

Okay, trudging around the White House is looking less and less attractive.

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Romance Quote For The Day

I have meetings and cocktails from noon to midnight. Honest.

So dwell on the Goddess, Ann Stuart's, wise words from her workshop yesterday:

"It's stupid to make love against the wall and on the floor when the couple is in a bedroom. The bed is default if it's two feet away, 'kay?"

"Killing from far away can be sexy."

"I don't know why handsome, sexy heros warm the cockles of my heart."

"Are they (the dark heros) tamed after the HEA?" (Think Viggo Mortensen in The History of Violence)

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RWA Quote of the Week: Cows Are The Devil's Handmaidens

Hee. Moooo.

That's a classic quote straight from Linda Howard's keynote speech at lunch. It sums up La Linda's great sense of humor and her ability to tell a great a story. She had the whole luncheon crowd guffawing at her anecdotes about her family, whom she called "nuts." Basically, her message is about "hanging on out there," even during nutty times in your life. I can only wish for the same funny outlook in life to keep me going during my times of frustration ;-). Now, if only I could write a story around that wonderful title....

If you are in the DC area and want to take a little side trip, be sure to take one to Monticello, home of Thomas Jefferson. It's a 7000 acre estate and visiting it gives one a sense of history and an intimate inside look at one of our founding fathers. It's also a beautiful place, like stepping into the world of Gone With The Wind's Tara, and it made the writer in me want to try her hand at a historical suspense.



That Jefferson dude was six foot two. He was kinda smart. Owned a big estate. Great sense of humor. Hmm. Good romance hero stock ;-).

Back at RWA, everything is in full swing. Authors, authors, everywhere. Editors and agents too. I was able to bump into my former editor from MIRA books to give her a hug (I really enjoyed working with her and am relieved that we're still friends), connect with some other editors, and basically network with people in the business. Gossip, advice, pointers in abundance. Romance authors are the most generous writers in the world and I'm so fortunate to have such good friends.

A friend's daughter, Emily, posing with Cindy Gerard and me.

Sylvia Day, Cindy Gerard, and Kylie Brant happily networking ;-).

Lauren Dane and Ann Aguirre laughing it up.

The always-angelic Victoria Dahl.

The impeccable Alison Hart and the irrepressible Goddess Anne Stuart (ck out the little horns on her head)

Off I go to ck out some workshops and signings. Need I also say: BOOKS, BOOKS, EVERYWHERE?!

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Quick RWA Yay

I know, I know, Rooferauthor has been bad, but seriously, I haven't been able to find a block of time to play with the puter at all since RWA started. It takes half-an-hour to an hour to get back to the room (bumping into buddies on the way and then waiting for the elevators) and by the time I get back there, it's time to be off somewhere again!

But I wanted to tell you about a special encounter that put a big smile on my face since last night. At the big RWA signing, I approached the Goddess, the Queen, the One Whom I Worship, Linda Howard. I wanted to say "hi" and mention about my friend, Maria, who had just met her on a previous signing. It's always such a pleasure to listen to Linda's Southern accent and laugh.

When she was ready to sign a book for me, I presented my badge so she would know how to spell my name and she said, "You're Gennita Low?"

I nodded and smiled, "Yes," thinking Maria must have told her some silly story about me.

Linda gave me a big smile and exclaimed, "I love your books!"

See my jaw. See jaw fall on floor. No longer there. Still looking for it. I was speechless. Linda Howard read my books! And loved them! SQUEEEEEEEeeeee.

I'm not sure what I mumbled after that. I must have looked like some dazed fool standing there going, "thank you, thank you, thank you!" Yikes.

I've had this big smile on my face since the signing last night. Big, big, BIG smile. This morning I woke up all my roommates by yelling out, "LINDA HOWARD SAID SHE LOVED MY BOOKS, BY GOD!"

I'm sure my roommates are getting tired of the grin.

Got to go. Lunch and keynote speaker is...Linda Howard! I promise pictures of signings and more author talk later. BTW, you can see how fair she is compared to me in the pic above!

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Road to RWA Part Two

The rest of the drive was marred with rain and road work/slow traffic. The radio was a good friend. Virginia was exactly how I remembered the last time I drove through. And I only made one bad turn in DC itself, around that circle that reminded one of the Chevy Chase "Vacation" movies. The hotel is just off Connecticut Av., so quite near to the heart of DC.

Finally I am here at RWA, tired and eagerly looking forward to the hotel room. Then I found out that parking at the hotel wasn't free! $35 freaking dollars a day! Gah. So, tomorrow, I've to look for a cheaper parking lot because man, $35/day?!

My roomies were already here and we went to dinner at an Indian restaurant nearby. As you can see below, we nourished ourselves with some Indian Drinks called Maga Reethas, an ancient delicious brew that tastes tangy and heady.

We chatted and giggled and bantered and generally made a lot of noise. The food was delish too.

Catching up with writing friends is one of the best things at RWA. Tonight is still the quiet before the storm. The 2000+ attendees aren't storming the place yet. Tomorrow the noise begins. Watch out, DC!

And oh, I need a foot and butt massage. All that driving is just not normal for a roofer girl.

(Hey, those of you who are meeting me before the signing on Weds., we're having drinks at the lobby bar and I'll be holding an informal signing there too for BBW. See you there!)

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Road to RWA Part One

A hundred miles, a hundred miles, a hundred miles, a hundred miles...

I wonder why that particular earworm always invade my head when I'm driving a long ways. Never fails. I'll hum that song even with the radio blasting.

The drive today was fabulous. Not too much traffic, cops in good mood, and great weather. The GLow Mobile happily sped toward DC, stopping a couple of times for refreshments. The strangest sight was this place that had a thousand billboards advertising it for miles and miles: South of the Border. It was dark when I saw it, lit up like a fair, a giant sombrero right in the middle, like a Ferris Wheel, with firework stalls in the back. I pulled in to get gas and there were only two or three other cars there; the whole place was EMPTY. It was the eeriest thing, standing there filling up my car in this bright, BRIGHT place with no one around.

I'm going to call Fayetteville (or half an hour outside it) the Billboard City from now on. If you ever drive here, you'll see what I mean. Both sides of the highway have billboards thirty feet high, facing both directions, and after miles of trees and sky, it's really very Vegas-like, even down to the ads that scream out 24-hour topless cafes (Cafes?! As in, order a latte from the EEE-cup waitress? Do they offer free Internet? Heh).

Fayetteville is also where Fort Bragg is, as well as some Civil War historical battlefields and museums, so I'm quite tempted to dawdle here for a few hours before resuming my drive to DC. It'd be great research for Viking Dude, don't you think? ;-) A time traveler like him should know a lot about Civil War facts.... As you know, Fort Bragg is home of the Airborne and Special Ops. Corp. I feel I should at least do a drive by ;-). Jed and Killian would approve.

'Kay, Part One ends here. Oh, one more thing. Best billboard sign ever: EXIT HERE (you can get) BRASSIERES TO CHANDELIERS. I don't know why that struck my funny bone. I had coffee all over my steering wheel. Truly, laughing like that while driving alone isn't normal.

REMINDER: You can still ask questions about VHERS in the post, So Many Chores, below.

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But Look! I Fit Perfectly!

REMINDER: Still answering your VHERS questions in the post titled "So Many Chores" below.

I'll be on the road today. Furbabies will be under the gentle care of Alpha males and elves, Lord help them.

If I can, I'll update with some tweets (above the blog) and on Facebook with some pics of the road adventure. Alpha Males are already betting on how many times I'm going to get lost (have they no idea that I, a woman, ask for directions? And I, a savvy woman, has my puter with me?).

Below, my Furry Bad Boy is trying to convince me to fit him into the luggage. He isn't happy with me right now.


"Look, I promise I won't pee on your things. Let me go, pleeeassse, mommy!"


"Hee, hee, hee, you can't go if I don't move."

Sigh. I wish I could take him with me. But the hotel (and my roommates) will never survive him.

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Reminder and Alpha Males' Dream Race

Loving your questions for VHERS. Post under post titled SO MANY CHORES. I'll keep answering!

And now...

IS YOUR ALPHA MALE going to enter you and him in this contest? ;-)



HAHAHAHAHAHA. Loved the commentary!

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Pride & Prejudice as Twitterama!

If you're a Jane Austen fan and a Twitterer, you have to read this version of Pride and Prejudice:

Pride and Twitterverse

Funny and original!

P/S Don't forget, I'm answering your questions about VHers in yesterday's post.

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So Many Chores!

I'm running around trying to get all my chores done before I drive the adventurous trail to D.C. for RWA on Sunday. I'm so looking forward to this trip, but I also worry about my furbabies, especially the two older ones who need their meds and special diets, etc. And of course, Bad Puppy is going to destroy something while I'm gone, no doubt about that! The only one I know will be okay is Sweet Lilah, who is easygoing and is a sweetheart. If I could take Bad Puppy with me, I would! He's such a spoilt possessive momma's boy, I'm already looking around at my piles of books with trepidation.

I started outlining certain scenes for Virtually One, the third book. I'm excited and want to talk about Jed and Helen. What questions do you have from Book One, Virtually His (I know, it's been a while and you might not remember) that you're looking forward to in Virtually Hers? Maybe I can give you hints? ;-) Maybe I can expand on certain scenes that had been on your mind. Maybe you think you know a secret I was hinting....ahem.

I've been thinking up ways to get y'all back into the story--points of discussion, fun facts, even background stories. Any suggestions? I do know that I'll have more excerpts available when the publishing date is closer. Some of you have read the first few chapters already, and hopefully will come out to attest that the first 100 pages are plenty, PLENTY hot because a certain virtual relationship is going to explode as it becomes more physical ;-).

So, let's hear what you're curious about in Virtually Hers. I'll have some fun giving you hints.

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Post #2: Alpha? Males For 2010

From Puter Hell (post #1) to Fashion Hell. Gulp.

Well, at least they aren't wearing mantyhoses any more.

Yes, this is the Mummy's newest disguise:


And here is a zombie pretending he isn't thinking of food:


This one is the Grandson of Frankenstein, with busy fashion sense:

Below is a very rare were-platypus:

And isn't that Woody Allen with a wig? His arms look detachable with those sleeves, don't they?

And the best for last. I have no words. You guys help me out here.

From the LA Times

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Breaking Up A Long-term Relationship

It's been nothing but puter headaches the last couple of days, so pardon my lack of posts. When battling Bill Gates and his minions, my mind tend to become zombiefied and unable to create interesting dialogue. Unless you think screeching as a form of creative communication ;-P.

In short, my Outlook Express that handled all my different mail started to hang in the middle of downloading EVERY time. After ten years of being an experienced OE user, and in spite of many blips and flups, I still was someone who could deftly move her DBX files (ten years of DBX files, mind you) from one puter to the next, BUT after ten years, Bill Gates has decided that that kind of simple happiness couldn't be allowed. No one should be so damn comfy handling their emails.

Anyway, usually, OE just updates with the new IE. They go hand-in-hand like bread and butter. Suddenly, without telling anyone, IE7 does NOT upgrade OE6, so if you have IE7, which I have, you're f**ked if your OE starts to go wonky. There is, in fact, no solution, not unless you're willing to reset your computer back to Day One Factory Settings and who has the CDs these days? Or the time? Gah.

So, the last few days, all my mail were scattered in different servers, waiting to be downloaded and OE was freezing my system while I fought the demons to wrestle back control of my e-life.

Jaysus.

I'm a creature of familiarity. I like things the same boring way because I'm too lazy to take the time to fiddle with settings. It takes a lot to move the mountain Gennita's Unwilling Butt. I hate web mail. Okay, not hate...I just don't enjoy the experience and opening my email at the servers was making me cry.

Finally, one website saved me from Bill Gates' insidious evilness. The dude understood people like me, the unwilling ones, those who would waste all that time f**king with Microsoft Help and Other Horrible Solutions of Time Wasting Registry Key Changing. He said the magic words: "A program that looks and works like Outlook Express, only with a different name." Those magic words even came with a link.

Oh yeah, I clicked on the link and, lo and behold.

Goodbye Bill Gates and thy Hanging Anti-Social Outlook That Isn't So Express Anymore, and hello, Dear Darling Mozilla Thunderbird. My new boytoy has a sexier name too. Let's hope I can keep you for another ten years before you hear me screeching.

Tomorrow, ten years of emails transferred in new folders. Yeeha. Sometimes I wonder why the incessant need to keep these correspondences. Who's going to read them?! But DELETE is soooo final.

I bet the title of the post misled you ;-). So, what crazy long-term relationship have you terminated lately?

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Favorite Freedom Quote

You have to love a nation that celebrates its independence every July 4, not with a parade of guns, tanks, and soldiers who file by the White House in a show of strength and muscle, but with family picnics where kids throw Frisbees, the potato salad gets iffy, and the flies die from happiness. You may think you have overeaten, but it is patriotism. ~Erma Bombeck

Yeah. I'm off to do my patriotic duty today. Happy 4th of July to all my friends and readers!

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Stretching The Muscle

Ahem. It's Friday GLowiki time, heh heh. The acronyms in these articles caught my attention. And the content made me think, "Hmm...this is just the sort of thing my readers want to know on Friday."

I have no words for this, but I thought it might interest y'all, especially my few male readers ;-).

This ain't TIARA or NOPAIN. It's NORM, NOHARMM, BUFF, and NOCIRC. Yes, it's a lot of TMI about the PNI 4SKN (read that out loud).

From another site, one way to achieve "growth" is stimulated growth by tension. If you click on this second link, MAKE SURE YOU AREN'T AT WORK. NSFW because of adult PNI pics. But surely you want to take peek at the different instruments used to stretch that magic piece of skin.

Alas, dudes, the writers of that article warned against using DUCT TAPE. You see? They understand what goes on in your minds.

So what have we learned, my dears? Yes, it's sad. Duct tape can't be used on everything, dammit.

Your thoughts in this matter is also greatly appreciated. Please share. ;-)

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Post #2: Half-Year Reward!

I've been good for 12 months. Other than travel expenses, I haven't spent any of my savings on any pretty, shiny, IWANT-IWANT! things.

I released a book, just as I told myself I would. I've suffered through 6 months of compound and commute hell at the Other Job. I found a publisher I like who also loves my Virtual Series. I edited and edited while being miserable with the commute hell. I quit that job so I could finish editing and getting back to being Happy GLow. I feel happy again.

So, Happy Glow went shopping. Yesterday, books. Today, yes, the long-coveted ASUS notebook, weighing in at 2.5 lbs and costing less than $300. Yes, I shall not be denied. It is mine. No more 150lb laptop! Happy Glow and her make-up case-sized ASUS are now ready for RWA.

One day, maybe in another six months, the Other Coveted IWANT-IWANT! shiny thing--the I-phone. But only if I've been good ;-).

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Half Year Mark Already!

Holy cowabunga, what happened to the time?! Did you accomplish your half-year mark goal(s)?

So far, I haven't done too badly:

1) I released a book, albeit through myself
2) I found a publisher who loves Virtually Hers and Virtually One
3) Virtually Hers is coming out THIS YEAR, e-book format in early Oct.

I didn't read as many books as I wanted to, but I reread a bunch of goodies.

The best book, for me, at this mid-point is Illona Andrews' MAGIC STRIKES, hands down. I just love Curran and the growing relationship between Kate and him. And the fabulous worldbuilding!

I also highly recommend Patricia Briggs' BONE CROSSED, fourth in the Mercedes series. These stories are getting soooo good, but this book is in hard cover and I can't afford any this year. Fortunately, I received this for Valentine's Day ;-).

On my first day after VHERS edits, I went to the bookstore to reward myself. I was sooo happy to find Marjorie Liu's Darkness Calls, the second book in her Maxine Kiss urban fantasy series. I've been waiting for this book because I wanted to read more about Maxine and Grant. For those who want to read an urban fantasy without werewolves and shapeshifting animals, I recommend this series. It features a demon huntress with very unusual tattoos/protectors. Book One wasn't heavy on the relationship stuff, but I trust Marjorie to give me more ;-).

What about your recommended Midyear Best Book? What are you reading right now?

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Sometimes You Have To Let It Go

I rested today by catching up with bills, emails and news ;-). So exciting.

The Internet is abuzzed with Bad Big Author Behavior again. Best-selling author Alice Hoffman went on a Twitterampage after receiving a lukewarm review from the Boston Globe's Roberta Silman. She went so far as to actually publish the reviewer's phone number and telling her readers to harass her.

When I read the review, it wasn't by any means savage or one-sided. Silman gave good and bad points, but Hoffman obviously strongly disagreed. Which is her right (we authors tend to disagree with bad reviews of our books, ahem), but I think it crosses the line when she decided to put the reviewer's phone number out to the public, you know? It's a book review, not a screaming contest.

Anyway, Hoffman also obviously didn't realize how popular Twitter was because her bout of insanity (which we authors sometimes have too) caught the attention of many major papers and blogs, including the NYT. By Monday, she issued a lukewarm apology through her publicist and deleted her Twitter acct. Another clue to Hoffman's naivete, since we all know the Internet never forgets and that deleting doesn't neccessarily gone forever. Screen captures of her Twitterama have been posted in blogs and news articles.

As a published author, I understand the frustration and indignation of having one's works being criticized. It's not easy being told the book failed in this or that aspect, but I always keep in mind that this is so for that reader, and no matter how big that reviewer is, it's still one reader. Also, it never fails to puzzle me why an author would actually go so far as to put out an angry rant against the reviewer. For reviewing his/her book! For putting it out into the public! It's way, way, WAY better than suffering the fate of being lost in oblivion among 10000 books, I tell you.

I've been told many hurtful things about my stories and writing style, through emails and on discussion forums. Many times, I've sat on my hands while I read them because the urge to reply and defend myself is very human. I do think that sometimes it's good to clarify certain points if there were some misunderstandings about the plot, but most of the time, it's better to just learn to ignore the pain or not read any reviews altogether.

There are, however, some fairly ridiculous criticisms that had come my way through the years. And I've talked about them here in my blog because I felt the attacks were unneccesarily vicious. Let's see:

1) the one who emailed about my writing porn trash

That one was fairly amusing, especially, during a quick search, I discovered that the writer was on the board of a library. Anyway, this person wrote at least five or six emails denouncing my sex scenes till I finally had to tell her, politely of course, that I was sorry it didn't work out, but there was no one forcing her to read another of my books.

2) the one who called me a pimp for writing about female trafficking

It was a strange review, which I thought was unfair, since I was in no way glorifying this horrible crime. Would someone writing about gruesome murders be called a murderer? Would someone writing about torture be called a sadist?

3) the one who thought military men weren't romantic and wrote to me about EVERY of my book that contained military characters

Umm. Well, I thanked her for buying my books. What could I say?

4) the one who thought "kickass" women shouldn't have long hair like Nikki's.

This person wrote on every forum out there basically this same comment. She also added that her hair got caught in an elevator once, so she couldn't believe an operative would actually have hair that long. Then, after a while, she finally wrote me an email about it. This hair thing obviously bothered her a great deal. Since I traversed the Internet so much and was aware of her irritation, I was sympathetic to her pain.

5) the most recent one was an email from Macedonia asking me why I was portraying her country in such a bad light, that there was no such thing happening in her part of the world. She was very adamant about this.

You hear that incredulous laughter? Yes, moi. But what can I say/do? Send her links of all the news articles, UN reports and personal accounts from abused Eastern European women that I've read during my research? Ask some of the women I've interviewed to write her?

At least this reader was polite ;-).

Really, there's nothing for me to say, but to take it as part of the experience of being published. You put your work out there; readers are going to experience the stories their own way. I couldn't have anticipated the negative points brought up above (Long hair? Pimping?) but then I also haven't anticipated the many great emails I've received through the years, including the ones from readers who have found my books a comfort during hard times.

Being published, for me, is wanting to be read, to connect with as many readers as I can. But the downside is, that also means getting readers who don't connect and don't mind saying it in the snarkiest way. As a roofer, I've heard worse comments, so no, I'm not as bothered by it. Besides, some of the snark was quite funny.

I tell myself that these readers gave me 25 cents and made my publisher happy with a sale. I also remind myself that I am also a reader and have my likes and dislikes. I just don't email the author to tell him/her how he/she failed! My personal rule: email and internet forums are like real-time conversations--if I wouldn't say something to the person face-to-face, I wouldn't write the post. I very much doubt many of the snarkers would actually go up to the writer in real life to say, "I think your book is trash! In fact, I threw it away! And I'm never going to buy another of your books, you moron!" But somehow, they think an email with those words is okay. Strange.

But back to Hoffmangate, who did it the other way round (paraphrasing her tweets): "I think your review is trash! Who are you, you moron, to criticize me, a bestselling author? You're a nobody, that's who! And now I'm going to tell the world your phone number so they can tell you you're a moron too!" You just know she didn't even think twice about typing those words, but if she'd had to take a plane to Boston to confront that reviewer, she probably would've realized how extreme her reaction was.

What about you? Have you ever emailed to an author to tell her that her story sucked donkey balls? ;-)

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TA DA!

VHers edits. Are. Done.

I'm feeling very empty and satisfied. More about Vhers' story later. I just wanted to make an announcement because I'm too tired to yell out YAHOOoooo! Tomorrow, I merge all the files and send to my editor. Yay!

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Genius. Watch This!

Simply, simply genius.

I love this, a combo of Fred Astaire dancing to Smooth Criminal. I can see so many echoes in MJ's video.

Thanks to John Scalzi.



Isn't this great?!

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Remember The Time

The last time I saw him dance, live at Madison Sq.



I'll remember him like this.

Some of my favorite songs by him:

Man In The Mirror
Black or White
Billie Jean
Beat It
Off The Wall
Human Nature
Smooth Criminal
Dirty Diana
Remember The Time

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Post #3: They Bring Back Childhood Memories

Two first-name only icons.

My first highheels. My first flickaway-bangs. Highschool ideas of glamor. Watching TV with my siblings--we all didn't speak English very well but it was fun to check out the clothes.

Rest in peace, Farrah.

Watching my dad dance. One of my first record collection. Watching my first moondance and being mesmerized by his dancing all over again. Giggling at his excuse for his lightening skin. That concert years ago--wow--that concert.

Rest in peace, Michael.

Not taking away Ed McMahon's passing, untimely deaths of icons of our own era remind us of our mortality. Time passes and we're reminded that each day should be lived fully.

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Post #2: Lost

Ahahahahaha. Funny political cartoon. Why he referenced that particular song in his TV confession perplexes me.

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Crazy Dream

well, I don't know what to make of it, except maybe I've been editing too much and my brain has gone cuckoo. Last night, I had two dreams--same dude, in black, writing calligraphy. Beautiful Chinese calligraphy, at that. Except that I don't read Chinese that well, having forgotten much of the characters...I can read some and not all.

Argh.

I woke up thinking I have a message and if it's a warning, I'm in so much trouble since I have no idea what it is ;-).

Or maybe it's an inspiration from the Muse? So, to make use of it, I'm making Armando Chang do calligraphy. He's cryptic enough and should be able to spout off Chinese idiomatic expressions, right? And wouldn't it be romantic if he writes Chinese poem to his mate, when I find her in my consciousness?

No...! No thinking of Armando's story. I have edits to finish and Virtually One to write!!!

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Almost, Almost, Almost

It's like waiting for the water to boil.

Like watching the drops filling up a bucket.

Like swimming laps and you're on lap 70 out of 72. Like running a marathon towards the finished line. Like being trapped five stories above the air and needing a bathroom, and you can see the person with the ladder walking towards your building...very slowly....

Edits for Virtually Hers! Yes, I'm almost there. Smell the baking bread!

So, humor my inability to make sense for a while longer, 'kay? Speaking of humor, if you're a Buffy fan and you have the same reaction about Twilight's Edward as I do (I have a teeshirt that says "And then Buffy killed Edward. The end), you HAVE TO watch this video below. It is classic. Genius. So damn funny.



Now why can't I procrastinate creatively like that?!

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Happy Father's Day!

Dear Dad,

You're far away and you have seven other daughters ;-). I know I'm the crazy one who never calls and writes books instead of letters. I know sometimes you wonder whether that insane daughter will ever straighten up, get married and have kids. I know maybe you've even given up on me being normal. But you're on my mind today and I love you.

*****************

This video cracks me up for some reason, which just shows, I have a warped sense of humor.

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Bet You Never Seen This Kind Of Swimsuit Contest B4

Nothing serious going on on the Interwebs. Why squabble on a Saturday when you can giggle at other more controversial things, like a Mr. Hong Kong WET swimsuit contest?

You don't need to understand Cantonese to know what's going on on this video though I'm still scratching my head about the female alien dancers. But I must agree, the cutest smile (#12) beat out the buffest bod (#4) :D.

And umm...don't click, Vince and other male readers, unless you're curious, hee.

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Post #2: You Have Got To Be Kidding Me

You all know I love me some Presents candy now and then, in spite of their titles, right? But this one?

The Sheikh's Virgin Stable-Girl?!

Arghhhhhh.

I have never felt any need to hide my romance books in public--the clinch covers, the bare chests, the women clinging the calves of muscled men. Those covers don't bother me at all. But. This title?

Sigh. ***Jenn running off to cry***

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Too Risque To Be Fifty Feet High?

This ad is the latest from Calvin Klein. It's causing quite a hullaballoo in NYC because, well, the ad is the size of a FIVE-STORY building, and people are saying that, unlike a TV channel or a magazine, they can't turn themselves, or their kids, away.

What do y'all think?

Sexy or tasteless?

The models look too androgynous and young for me but dang if it isn't a nice female fantasy to have three men all sated by you and only you, eh? ;-)

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Summary of My Orlando Workshop

Terry Odell, author and member of the Central Florida Romance Writers Association, wrote a succinct summary of the writing workshop I gave in Orlando a couple of weeks ago. It's always interesting to read what other writers think about my speeches and thoughts on writing. I probably didn't sound as eloquent as her notes ;-), but I do hope that what I shared gave some insight to the writers who took time to attend!

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She's Clueless

Sharon Leach wins Pretentious Biotch of the Week Award. She smugly wrote:

I suppose I can understand romance novels being recession-proof, in theory. Women, the biggest consumers of the genre (and also the writers) love escape fantasies. Harsh economic times would perhaps send women scurrying further into that good abyss of un-reality. They're afraid they'll lose their jobs, their kids are driving them around a hairpin bend, and their husbands, bless them Lord, are themselves worried about keeping the family afloat, so intimate relations may often not, well, rise to the occasion. The answer: live vicariously. Read a book about some hottie who's ripping off the heroine's bodice.
I sort of get that.

Only, I don't. Not really.

Oh, I tried it. Well, okay. I didn't buy a bodice-ripper. I haven't been able to stomach one of those since high school. (How do grown women read them without a trace of irony? We know real men are NOT like the heroes of romance novels.)

You've just insulted your many readers who understand what the genre is about. Try reading a good romance book before you start throwing out thirty year-old cliches. Bodice rippers, indeed--your age is showing.

Grrr. No time to rant more. Have to get back on a roof to sweat off snotty women who always come off attacking their own through their cluelessness.

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Cumber At Chat Last Night

This is just a partial transcript of the very mini chat I held at Writerspace last night. It was supposed to be about The Protector. Guess who showed up? ;-)

Gennita Low: Yes, I'm here, eating icecream

CUMBER joined the room.

CUMBER: Well, where's everyone?

Gennita Low: They didn't show up, I guess.

CUMBER: Why not? I'm here. Where the babes?

Gennita Low: Cumber, it's just you and me tonight. How are you?

CUMBER: Would be better if there were babes in here.

Gennita Low: Excuse me, chop suey here or what?

CUMBER: Pardon me, ma'am. You're the Queen Babe.

Gennita Low: Much better.

Gennita Low I'm sorry it's not much of a chat, but can you tell me what's coming in terms of scenes for me? Many readers are missing your presence, Cumber.

CUMBER: Hey, I don't blame them. I'm a memorable guy, what can I say. I think you'll see me--I mean several of us--in what's coming up. You know, the next book.

Gennita Low: Really? Virtually One? No kidding? That would make the thing too damn crowded, what with the commandos and all.

CUMBER: Well, writing isn't my job, ma'am. That's yours. You figure it out.

Gennita Low: Hey, you're supposed to help me out here...not get all cumbersome.

CUMBER: Cumbersome. Ha. I like you.

Gennita Low: You better cooperate or I'm putting you in another opera scene.

CUMBER: ---, no. I mean, freaken no. Am I allowed to say freaken on this board?

Md joined the room.

Gennita Low: Obviously not. Well, they censored that first word. :D Amusing.

CUMBER: What a stupid place. They censored me? Cumber?

Md: Hi Genn. How are things going for you? I have to tell you, I am a Florida fan.

Gennita Low: Well, you think about it...Do you want to be an opera scene or be cooperative?

Gennita Low: Hi MD!

Gennita Low: Umm, sorry about the small turnout here.

Md: Having 'puter problems or net problems?

CUMBER: I'll cooperate. Will you get me a girl soon, boss?

Gennita Low: No...I think everyone is busy tonight, MD ;-). So I'm here talking to Cumber all by myself. Weird, I know, but what I can I say? A chat is a chat.

Md: I am really happy that you have found another publisher.

Gennita Low: Cumber, the way you talk so big, no girl's gonna want you.

Md: How's the old boy doin'? Don't imagine he is getting much action these days. Has he got any news to share?

Gennita Low: Md, Samhain is great. The second book has been written for so long I'm just happy to get back into it.

CUMBER: Hey, who're you calling an old boy? Me??

Md: Will Samhain also do the third book in the series?

CUMBER: And for your information, big is very popular among romance readers, I hear.

Md: Yeah, you Cumber, you old son of a gun.

Gennita Low: Md, yes, Virtually One is contracted too!

Md: It's not what you got, Cumber ole boy, it's how you use it.

CUMBER: Md, sweetheart, I'm never too old for ladies.

Md: What are you thinking of doing after V One?

CUMBER: And I use mine well.

Md: Cumber, I hate to disillusion you, but lady I ain't. Broad is probaby a better description.

Gennita Low: MD, I've several ongoing projects that I'm doing at the same time, even though my first focus is on VHers right now and then VOne.

CUMBER: Md baby, I loooooove broads. //puts on sunglasses.

Gennita Low: Right now, I've been writing an urban fantasy tentatively titled Viking Dude And His Big Sword.

Md: How about doing something paranormal. The V books are a start, but why not pull out all the stops. Cumber, I do believe you are flirting with me.

CUMBER: Viking Dude? That's a good role for me in Hollywood. I've got a big sword.

Gennita Low: Viking Dude is paranormal/urban fantasy.

Md: I'm old enough to be your mother -- maybe even grandmother.

CUMBER: Md, I'm not married and over 18.

Gennita Low sigh. Cumber, behave. He's a flirt, Md, ignore him.

Md: I am married and well beyond 18.

CUMBER: dammit, why are they always married? Md, you're a lovely married lady.

Gennita Low: charmer, isn't he. Anyway that's my work in progress.

Fortunately, a few other chatters joined in and we had a pretty good time after that, although we didn't really discuss about The Protector, like we usually do with our book chats. Next session, I promise. All your questions about Jazz and Vivi and the SEAL gang.

Just wanted to see whether you got that hint about VOne that Cumber told us....*grin*

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VHERS Has A Date!

BREAKING NEWS!

My editor sent me an email announcing that Virtually Hers is scheduled to be out mid-October, 2009.

I'm still doing edits but everything looks good so far. Once I turn that in, I'm going to concentrate on giving you some updates on the FYEO blog. It was tough to keep it going when the books were on hold because you would have been way, way ahead of the timeline by now! So, give me a couple of weeks to get this project done.

Boy, it's so good to be able to give you a definitive answer. And right before RWA too, yeeha!

Any of you going to RWA? Any of you planning to get Big Bad Wolf? Because if you are, you'll have to say so here or email me so we can all set up a meeting place (drinks, chat, group hug) so that you can get BBW. Why? Because RWA doesn't allow BBW to be part of any signing, even one FOR DONATION to a good cause ;-P.

So...who will be at RWA? Please let me know!

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Bad Puppy Nearly Gave Me A Heart Attack

I thought I'd take a writing break by taking a nice late night walk with Bad Puppy. It was really humid outside so instead of the usual brisk pace, I took my time and strolled. I live in a pretty quiet neighborhood and usually, by this time of the night, everyone's inside their cool homes.

Not tonight.

A young man was outside with his unleashed dog. Big dog. It was dark and I didn't see him leaning against his car till it was too late and the big boy started coming after Bad Puppy. I couldn't scoop my baby up because he was playing Alpha Dog and running out to block the attacker's path. This dog was five times the size of Bad Puppy.

I didn't even have time to yell out. Everything was moving in slow motion. All I saw was this hugggge maw about to swallow Bad Puppy's head. I tugged at my leash as hard as I could and sort of did a bad pirouette with one leg while my free hand reached out in between the two dogs. I'm still not sure what happened, but I must have swung my arm hard enough to toss my furbaby into the air.

One moment he was about to get mauled and the next, he was yelping because of the tight leash as he flew into my arms. I started running like a mad woman because the other dog was still trying to jump up after his new toy.

The man, who had been yelling all this time, finally managed to get his dog under control but I was already half a block away. Because it was dark, I couldn't tell whether Bad Puppy was hurt since he was yelping and wincing. When I set him down, he just curled up and refused to budge. That got me really worried, I tell you.

When the other dog's owner finally caught up with me, he began apologizing profusely and tried to pet Bad Puppy. I had to stop him since my baby didn't like strange men getting too close to me. I was suddenly aware of my wet hand. I prayed it was piss and not blood.

Calming down a noisy apologetic man and a whining dog at the same time without raising my voice was quite a feat. I finally convinced him to just. Let. Me. Be. for a few minutes. Bad Puppy finally got up and we walked under a streetlight.

Oh no, my hand was bloody.

I knelt down again, this time feeling more panicky. Where was he bleeding? I undid the leash so I could look better and Bad Puppy whined again.

"Where are you hurt, Jiggy? Where are you bleeding?"

He allowed me to run my hands up and down his body and didn't seem to be hurting. I stood up and following my lead, he did the same. I frowned. WTF? He seemed okay.

I looked at my hand again. Oh. Looking closely, I realized that I was the one bleeding. It was just a tiny puncture wound but I guess all that adrenalin made it appear worse than it was. I think Bad Puppy's teeth grazed me when I snatched him from the air. I'm pretty sure the Other Dog didn't bite me or I'd definitely have more puncture wounds than this one. Bigger ones too.

Anyway, I'm home now. Bad Puppy is fine. A bit on the quiet side but I'd checked him thoroughly. Nothing. Maybe wounded pride that he didn't get to fight. He didn't understand that he'd have lost that one if Mommy hadn't stepped in.

Ah well. It was supposed to be a nice peaceful stroll for the uber author looking for some relaxation and to perhaps lose a few calories. Instead, I'm now wide-eyed and all tied up in knots. Need comfort food. Where's the icecream?

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Been Under The Weather

Pardon the growls. Deep in revisions and fighting a stuffed head and nagging migraine, ouch ouch ouch. It's difficult to write about love and emotional stuff when I feel like a giant slug about to turn into that thing in alien. Sigh.

Maybe standing on my head might help.

When I'm stuck on a writing problem I eat a lot. I think it's the bane of doing work at home because the fridge is handily nearby. So I'm just munching and munching and stomping about the house in between trying to write. And oh, torturing Bad Puppy. Of course, that goes without saying. It's fun to torture Bad Puppy; he gets jealous when I play with his toys. Silly, I know, but hey, Sick Author here, 'kay?

Any advice to fight off sickness and get the brain cells working again?

Goals for the week:
1) Finish the major portion of revisions for VHers
2) Get ready panel stuff for RT 2010
3) Stop eating icecream like it's a real meal
4) Read a book--it's getting weird just rereading VHis and VHers over and over....
5) Placate Viking Dude who's not happy at being shunted aside
6) Buy air tickets for RWA trip if I'm not driving (have I told you? I'm considering driving up to DC. Am I crazy?)
7) Umm...pay bills...lotsa billlllllls...help!

What are your goals for the week?

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Sunday World Dick News

I don't know but these kinds of "romances" sound extremely painful. The first story is about an Egyptian man who cut off his penis because his parents won't let him marry the woman of his choice. Ouch. So much for love, and now would his beloved still want him?

The second has to do with a Singaporean secretary and her boss. In a parked car. She ended up with a mouthful.

If you read the small article following this piece, about an air stewardess' memoir about her "sexual escapades in the sky," don't you think that blurb is sort of deceptive when, in the following paragraphs, she claimed she said NO to all of them? What kind of sexual escapades in the sky could have happened if NOTHING happened? And would that book be about two pages long?

Sort of like:

He asked me to have sex with him. I said no. Then another guy during another flight asked me for sex. I told him no. So, next flight, another man, this time a really tall and handsome one, asked me for a sexual encounter. I paused because I was really tempted, but then I also said no. The next one was easy. He was eighty years old. I said no to him immediately, without any thinking at all.... :-/

And then there is this rich British kid and the giant penis big enough to be seen on Google Earth that he drew on the roof of his parents' one million-pound mansion. Clearly this TOPS it all. And it's certainly giving this rooferauthor ideas.... ;-P

Kind of lovely to look at from space, isn't it? Rich kids have all the fun!

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Open Thread Friday

1) Revising Virtually Hers. I'm done with one problem, now I'm onto a more difficult one. Hint...emotional Jed? Hmm.

2) Getting ready for my workshop in Kissimmee this Saturday: the romance and the suspense in hero-centric vs. heroine-centric romantic suspense. Or something like that, since I keep changing my mind ;-).

So, your homework tonight and tomorrow is to help me out here. What authors' stories represent the quintessential hero-centric romance? Heroine-centric? Would be nice to hear your thoughts.

If that's JUST TOO DAMN DEEP for a Friday, okay, how about entertaining me instead?

PIRATES or NINJAS? Why? Let the discussion begin....

For myself, I think I'm a Ninja girl. I think super spies are somewhat ninja-like, don't you? On the other hand, (romance) pirates get to have so much fun!

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Post #3: Sad News/RIP

Romancelandia lost Edith Layton today. She was one of my favorite Regency writers.

If you'd like to write her family a message of condolence or share your memory about Edith in any way, please visit Word Wenches. She will be greatly missed by readers and friends.

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Post #2: Words Are Uber Important

Courtesy of Jeri Smith-Ready, who writes a great vampire urban fantasy series, by the way. Laugh-out-loud lines in this classic Bonnie Tyler video, including "mullets with headlights," LOL. Enjoy.

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A Mountain of Work

Three roofing jobs and revision for Virtually Hers. Oh, did I add 100 degrees on the roofs.

Please excuse the quick hi and bye for now, but I wanted to make sure you all miss me ;-). I wanted to start Anne Stuart's newest but a review (and a friend confirmed) that the heroine was still married when she and the brother-in-law did the wild thang. I'm not sure I really want to read that theme right now since one of my neighbors just did the same thing and ugh, the family drama was terrible. This being romance, I'm sure everything would be swept and hidden away and I know La Stuart would handle the situation well.

Perhaps another month.

What about you? Would you mind reading this hot button theme?

Now off I go and be hot on a roof.

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I Cried When I Watched This

This. Is damn amazing. And I hope they gave the doggies a good home. ;-(

This is true friendship. Maybe even love. Oh Lord, I cried again rewatching it.

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If They Put A Bib On, What Would You Do?

Introducing C*ck Bibs. I kid you not. And no, you don't wear it around your neck, sweeties. It is "designed to make clean up after oral sex a breeze!”

The Washington City Paper wrote a funny article about it, mentioning the five most inappropriate c*ck bib phrases. The inventor said that he came up with the idea after being victim to yet "another sloppy blow-job." Umm. He also mentioned that he was happily married.

Umm.

Dude. You just critiqued your wife's performance to a million net readers. I'm trying to imagine how she feels about that.

Also, can I add that, if I happened to chance upon an alpha male dangling his member through that peep-hole, I'm probably likely to take away his Alpha Male membership for life. And will tell all my girlfriends about the bib.

What 'bout you, dear readers? If you happened to find yourself staring at the bib, would you have a smart...ahem...comeback?

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Winner of Books and Calendar

CONGRATULATIONS

DEBORAH BLAKE DEMPSEY!

Please drop me an email so I can snailmail you some books and calendar from the RT convention.

Thank you, everyone, for such lovely "letters" to my editor. I'll make sure to forward the post to her if she hadn't seen it ;-).

We're still talking contract stuff so no fixed date about Virtually Hers yet. As soon as I hear anything, I'll post it here and on the Yahoogroup!

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What Do You Think?

More OASIS-22 Convention fun.

The clinch cover for my next romance ;-)!



The cover for my Urban Fantasy! :-D

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Oh Gennita No!

I finally got to meet John Ringo, great military SF writer. I've enjoyed his books. John Ringo is also famous on the Internetz for the phrase "OH JOHN RINGO NO!" because of A SERIES OF SEAL BOOKS he wrote, in which the protagonist did a lot of horribly sexist and offensive things. Definitely NOT a romance hero, 'kay?

This link is a short summary from FANLORE of how the phrase started. For those who want the whole darn thing in stereo, here is the whole livejournal review (VERY DETAILED) by the reader, hradzka, who coined this phrase and made it so famous. Here is the intro:

GHOST is Ringo's own admitted Lord King Badfic, his id run wild. By his own account, he was trying to write several books he was actually contracted for, but GHOST kept nudging at him, and finally he just wrote the damn thing to *make it go away* so he could get back to fulfilling his contracts. Ringo locked the spewings of his id away on his hard drive, until he mentioned in passing on an online forum that yeah, he'd written another book, but it was *awful* and would never see the light of day. Naturally, folks were curious, and when Ringo posted a sample, nobody was more surprised than him to find that the response was, more often than not, "Hey, man, I'd buy this."

So his publisher put it out, and the books are now doing pretty well for them. I'm sure this is a pleasant surprise if you're Ringo or his publisher, but it's also got to be a little embarrassing; he's committed the literary equivalent of charging money for folks to watch him roll naked in a pile of dead and smelly fish. And then being begged for encores.

This entry was so popular that John Ringo replied to give it the thumbs-up.

Anyway, OH JOHN RINGO NO! is on teeshirts and cups these days, used by those to express dismay at any boneheaded acts or books. I met the rascally John Ringo yesterday and told him to ravage me like Mike Harmon (the SEAL in this series). Here is the pic:

And then, after I* ravaged him, he signed his book:


Heehee. Loved it.

Just another OASIS-22 Convention encounter to remember. Anyway, I do recommend John Ringo's books but this particular series of SEAL, ahem, adventures are over-the-top crazy, so Buyers Beware and Be Ready to yell out OH JOHN RINGO NO! a lot.

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Visiting Other Worlds

Had a wonderful time last night. It's good to meet new people who write and read our kind of books. My panel was outstanding--Linda S. Cowden, Kimberly Raiser, Yyvonne Wisdom were great, giving lots of insight about the urban fantasy heroine (specifically, Anita Blake, Sookie, Bella) and whether they were role models or good girls gone bad.

I think I was probably the only author on board who didn't write vampires, LOL, but hey, I'm definitely a fan of the genre and have read my share of vampire romances, so I didn't mind having a little discussion fun. I played devil's advocate and went for "good girls gone bad" against the girl empowerment standard. It was fun because I got to talk about enlightening topics such as "the reduction of the female role to being a magic hoohah," which drew some laughter from the mostly male audience.

It was fun precisely because of the male readers in the audience. They were attentive and some of them had insightful observations about the series they read, mostly the Anita Blake one. Do you hear that, writers? They have INSIGHT, which means they read the books and continued reading them even as the romantic elements are expanded. I loved it. I mentioned some series that they might want to try--not necc. vampire series but since we were talking about tough chicks who could be either role models or bad girls--such as Saintcrow's Danny Valentine series, Iona Andrews' Magic series, and even J.R. Ward's bad ass Brothuhs ;-) as the extreme example of "protected" females.

At the end of the panel, a male reviewer came forward to ask for my book. A radio station wants to do an interview. Several male readers came up to ask me whether I was at RT because they were there during the Book Fair and now they've found a new author--me--because they like spy/thriller romances. That's what I was talking about, folks. A chance to get new readers who don't necessarily classify themselves as romance readers. A chance to network with reviewers and talk radio interviewers who I'd never meet if I hadn't gone outside the box and promote at different CONs. A few of these readers have even read Virtually His because of John Scalzi's recommendation last year. I was totally wowed by this. And gratified. This is what I want, to bring my stories to all kinds of readers who aren't necessarily "romance" readers but are just after a good story.

Now...I'm off to check out the panel about military SF and how to write great battle scenes. Then I want to meet John Ringo. And where else could a writer get to ask questions face-to-face with a scientist from NASA on one side and a Star Trek writer on the other? I'm just so psyched!

Later, dudes, may the force stop the rain.

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Wish Me Luck

I'm tempting fate by taking my car through the water (they pumped the streets a little) so I can go to my panel at OASIS 22, the Sci-Fi Con I went to last year to see John Scalzi and C. L. Wilson. They asked me to host two panels this year! Unfortunately, it's been raining cats, frogs, dogs, and water buffalos, so I wasn't even sure I could make it up my poor river/street without my car getting drowned.

Since the water level is SLIGHTLY lower, I'm going now, and hopefully--fingers-crossed--won't hit any flooded streets on the way to the highway. See how responsibly I take my commitments? So, please do come check out the CONVENTION if you are nearby and wanting some place to go that's inside, away from the rain. It offers some interesting panels, including two of mine: "Kickass heroines: new role models or good girls gone bad?" and "Writing Sex."

So, wish me luck getting there?

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