Aww...Romance Authors Get No Respect Even For Charity Wrok

The post title is mostly tongue-in-cheek. SEAL of my Dreams, our charity anthology, has had great support from everyone, including military communities. We even had a write up on the SEALs blog supporting our book :-):

SEAL BLOG

Anyway, I thought I would include this link, which is a not-so-great article poking fun at SEAL of my Dreams, making fun of cover as a "shirtless SEAL cavorting."

SHIRTLESS SEALS CAVORTING IN NEW ROMANCE NOVEL!

I do have to point out the author(s)'s lack of research, though:

1) The shirtless SEAL on the cover is a real SEAL, taken from this photo:

The photo is titled "FALLUJAH, IRAQ – JULY 27: A U.S. Navy SEAL prepares for a night mission to capture Iraqi insurgent leaders July 27, 2007 near Fallujah, Iraq. American Special Forces operate throughout Iraq, targeting “high-value targets” in commando raids, often at night to take advantage of their night vision superiority. (Photo by John Moore/Getty Images)" Mr. Moore had kindly donated the use of this photograph for the cover for the charity.

2) There have been many, many SEALs in romances way before this anthology :). If the writer of the article had even read the Foreword, she'd have been aware of this, along with the fact that many of the authors are/have been involved with the military in one way or another.

3) All the proceeds from the anthology go to the Veteran's Research Fund. I know it's a knee jerk reaction from the usual crowd ("I don't read romance!") but it'd have been nice to at least have that acknowledgment. Romance authors honor our heroes in our way, like, you know, take the time to write a short story and donate that time and money to a fund that helps veterans.

The romance genre is the biggest seller of all the genres. We don't get the respect we deserve, but our readers make everything worth it, including supporting our troops in various ways, be it buying this anthology or getting involved in Operation Shoebox.

Okay, class dismissed.

Bear with me while I learn. The first button likes the POST. The second button likes the BLOG site. Please help me by "liking" me. Thanks!
NO NEED TO CLICK TILL I TELL YA: RESERVED FOR NOT SAFE FOR WORK STUFF

Surviving Inertia

Many writers deal with it sooner or later. Writer's block.

I thought Jeremiah Tolbert's piece, Writing is a Sail Boat and I'm Stuck on the Reefs, described what I went through very well. Except perhaps, in my case, my ship was in dire straits of sinking and I don't swim very well.

There are many writers who call their creation their babies, and many online tend to mock them. All you have to do is go on Twitter and search for the hashtag #booksarenotbabies. Sure, some authors do tend to go on and on about their characters and stories like proud mamas, and when they rage against those who dare to point out their flaws and imperfections, especially in a public forum, they become entertainment fodder. That kind of behavior is known on the web as Authors Behaving Badly.

However one looks at it--baby or not--most books are written with a lot of time involved, borne out of the writer's love and need to create that particular story from start to finish. It is a fever very similar to the need to procreate, to make something that comes from oneself, that would perhaps be one's contribution to one's life. Perhaps, writing genre books, an accomplishment on which many already look down, might not be comparable to that Ivy League Baby of Literature that holds everyone's esteem, even if the latter sucked the boringness out of boredom. Those works are treated like fragile babies, come to think of it.

As a reader, I don't know the book I'm reading's particular journey. I can only enjoy it. Or not. Yet, as I continue in my own journey as a writer, I'm too aware of all the things that can make or break a writer's concentration. And in that sense, I understand the "this is my baby" phenomena. When writer's block happens--for me, anyway--there is a sense of panic that is equivalent to seeing a child sick and being unable to take away its pain.

The feeling of helplessness grows and grows to the point that the pages I keep writing don't seem to make sense to me. At the same time, one can't share one's fears and pain while one's writing friends are happily chirping about their pages and creativity for the day/week. It's like Mr. Tolbert's analogy--shipwrecked on an island, alone and depending on oneself for survival.

But talking about the pain of writing is like sharing TMI in a conversation, isn't it? And defending one's work is like the biggest No-No in the world of writing-correctness, especially if one came across as a shrew (but even if one didn't, it's an automatic accusation, regardless of gender of writer). Or (gasp!), get threatened to be put on somebody's Do Not Buy List. So it is better not to talk about the pain of writing in a forum that's making fun of writing, especially one's own at that moment. Unless you're like me, and just want to unleash your inner devil's advocate and start calling everyone mean just so I can hear the We're Mean Girl Pride speech.

These things have been on my mind lately and I'm just processing it. Thinking and putting it out here would probably get me in trouble. But hell, if I could survive a shipwreck, I could survive somebody making fun of my baby.

Note 1: I don't actually see my books as my babies. My poms are my babies. Make fun of that and you incur my wrath. You may make fun of my books as long as you've paid for at least one of them new. I can be insulted for a quarter or a dollar (royalty depending on bk).

Note 2: So what the hell are you babbling about on this blog entry then, Jenn? Aha! Suffer writer's block and you'll understand.

Bear with me while I learn. The first button likes the POST. The second button likes the BLOG site. Please help me by "liking" me. Thanks!
NO NEED TO CLICK TILL I TELL YA: RESERVED FOR NOT SAFE FOR WORK STUFF

What She Said

Eileen Dreyer wrote a wonderful article about why she writes romance on CNN.com. I couldn't agree with her more:

I Write Romance, So What?

I don't own bunny slippers

I don't wear boas and eat bonbons in bed (yet)

I am not looking for sexual fulfilment through PRon

Robes?! Very impractical to wear while typing; the front keeps falling open....

Bored housewife? Tool belts for me, but isn't bored housewife an oxymoron?

What other cliches can you come up with?

Bear with me while I learn. The first button likes the POST. The second button likes the BLOG site. Please help me by "liking" me. Thanks!
NO NEED TO CLICK TILL I TELL YA: RESERVED FOR NOT SAFE FOR WORK STUFF

Figure Skating The Romance Writers Of Sports

Having read many news and web articles on the Olympic figure skating competition these past two weeks, I've come to a conclusion, one that had never occurred to me. //smack on the head// I should have noticed it before--like years before--but maybe because I was so totally enamored with all things Michelle Kwan back then to really care what those writers say about figure skating in particular.

It just suddenly struck me, from the tone of many of the sports writers sent to cover figure skating, that they treat this sport the way many reporters sent to a romance writing conference treat romance writers and their work. Whenever I read a regular news article about a romance convention, or the romance genre, or a romance author, there is always that snide undertone that these aren't really books and that the writing isn't "real" writing. 'Purple prose' and 'bodice ripper' are two terms always brought up as something to giggle over. The fact that these books make money is more a condemnation of the readers' lack of ability to know "real" art/books.

Likewise with figure skating commentary in the written news world. There was an article that unapologetically announced that, since there is dancing involved, ice-dancing isn't a sport. Never mind that these athletes basically strapped blades onto their feet and go out on the ice and do immensely difficult athletic moves and yet stay in time to music, the fact that it's to music and that there are dance steps involved made this not a sport to that writer.

Then there are eleventy hundred articles on the make-up, costume, and the hairstyles. Yes, these elements are part of figure skating, as happy endings are part of a romance. The sports people hate it that there is a sport that is also judged for 'artistic' impression. Just as there are many people who sneer at romance writers and books, there are many who make fun of figure skaters.

This past weekend, the French commentators spent more time joking about Johnny Weir's costumes and sexuality than actually analyzing his programs during the competition. I cannot tell you the hundreds of similar echoes when I read an article about romance books; instead of looking at the genre in an informative way, I find jokes about an author's sex life, or how all the covers look the same, or how plagiarism is okay because it's just a romance book. Never mind that Johnny Weir the athlete or Mary Love the writer has spent years practicing and perfecting what they do.

Lastly, just as the romance genre, figure skating is actually the bestseller with the populace. People tune in to watch figure skating because they enjoy it, and yeah, like romance, it is condemned because of its entertainment value. No matter how many times the prowess of the skaters are brought up--three triple axels by a woman; the speed leading to the jumps; the hundreds of hours practiced side-by-side coordinated twizzles--there will always be those half-a-dozen inane reporters who feel the need to cheaply poke fun of the sparkly dresses and the diva melodrama.

Looking down at figure skating doesn't make it not a "real" sport. Just as dismissing the romance genre doesn't mean the writers aren't "real" writers. I think the sports people and "serious" academes feel threatened that their circle has been invaded by these upstart athletes and writers who can combine power and teh pretty to capture the masses, and actually become more popular than them.

All that glitter and prettiness don't hide the love of the sport and the art. The figure skater spend hours powering twists and turns through the air just as any gymnast does. The romance writer spend hours creating scenes to knit together their 100,000 word stories. We just have more personality, that's all.

Bear with me while I learn. The first button likes the POST. The second button likes the BLOG site. Please help me by "liking" me. Thanks!
NO NEED TO CLICK TILL I TELL YA: RESERVED FOR NOT SAFE FOR WORK STUFF

Alan Elsner's List Of Top "Romance" Books

I was writing this spoof on author Alan Elsner's dismissive article about how romance books today killed romance (but not his romance book) on HuffPo to the kewl tune of Milkshake....then I changed my mind about putting it out in public because, you know, it's Christmas time and...and...my readers won't care about being indirectly called stupid by Alan Elsner, great love story writer.

So, anyway, I thought I'd just show the link to bad sex passages (Literary Review entries) of non-romance writers who are probably great love story writers like Alan Elsner instead. I'm sure you'll agree these are gems. Like:

She puts her hands flat against his chest and leans into him in a simulacrum of a swoon, making a mewling sound. Her hips are goosefleshed and he can feel all the tiny hairs erect on her forearms. When he kisses her hot, soft mouth, which is bruised a little at one corner, he knows at once that she has been with another man, and recently - faint as it is there is no mistaking that tang of fish-slime and sawdust - for he has no doubt that this is the mouth of a busy working girl. (The Infinites by John Banvilled)

or, for the win:

Then, Bobby starts scrabbling frantically across the carpet for Mr Condom, sending five or six multicolour Durexes flying through the air, and he struggles getting the packet open and Georgie has to roll Mr Condom down Mr Penis for him and she has to help insert him into Mrs Vagina (Ten Storey Love Song by Richard Milward)

Oh yes, these entries certainly beat my little rap song about Alan Elsner's milkshake getting all the boys. Hee.

Get thee there and tell me how you love these great sex scenes!

Bear with me while I learn. The first button likes the POST. The second button likes the BLOG site. Please help me by "liking" me. Thanks!
NO NEED TO CLICK TILL I TELL YA: RESERVED FOR NOT SAFE FOR WORK STUFF

Sometimes You Have To Let It Go

I rested today by catching up with bills, emails and news ;-). So exciting.

The Internet is abuzzed with Bad Big Author Behavior again. Best-selling author Alice Hoffman went on a Twitterampage after receiving a lukewarm review from the Boston Globe's Roberta Silman. She went so far as to actually publish the reviewer's phone number and telling her readers to harass her.

When I read the review, it wasn't by any means savage or one-sided. Silman gave good and bad points, but Hoffman obviously strongly disagreed. Which is her right (we authors tend to disagree with bad reviews of our books, ahem), but I think it crosses the line when she decided to put the reviewer's phone number out to the public, you know? It's a book review, not a screaming contest.

Anyway, Hoffman also obviously didn't realize how popular Twitter was because her bout of insanity (which we authors sometimes have too) caught the attention of many major papers and blogs, including the NYT. By Monday, she issued a lukewarm apology through her publicist and deleted her Twitter acct. Another clue to Hoffman's naivete, since we all know the Internet never forgets and that deleting doesn't neccessarily gone forever. Screen captures of her Twitterama have been posted in blogs and news articles.

As a published author, I understand the frustration and indignation of having one's works being criticized. It's not easy being told the book failed in this or that aspect, but I always keep in mind that this is so for that reader, and no matter how big that reviewer is, it's still one reader. Also, it never fails to puzzle me why an author would actually go so far as to put out an angry rant against the reviewer. For reviewing his/her book! For putting it out into the public! It's way, way, WAY better than suffering the fate of being lost in oblivion among 10000 books, I tell you.

I've been told many hurtful things about my stories and writing style, through emails and on discussion forums. Many times, I've sat on my hands while I read them because the urge to reply and defend myself is very human. I do think that sometimes it's good to clarify certain points if there were some misunderstandings about the plot, but most of the time, it's better to just learn to ignore the pain or not read any reviews altogether.

There are, however, some fairly ridiculous criticisms that had come my way through the years. And I've talked about them here in my blog because I felt the attacks were unneccesarily vicious. Let's see:

1) the one who emailed about my writing porn trash

That one was fairly amusing, especially, during a quick search, I discovered that the writer was on the board of a library. Anyway, this person wrote at least five or six emails denouncing my sex scenes till I finally had to tell her, politely of course, that I was sorry it didn't work out, but there was no one forcing her to read another of my books.

2) the one who called me a pimp for writing about female trafficking

It was a strange review, which I thought was unfair, since I was in no way glorifying this horrible crime. Would someone writing about gruesome murders be called a murderer? Would someone writing about torture be called a sadist?

3) the one who thought military men weren't romantic and wrote to me about EVERY of my book that contained military characters

Umm. Well, I thanked her for buying my books. What could I say?

4) the one who thought "kickass" women shouldn't have long hair like Nikki's.

This person wrote on every forum out there basically this same comment. She also added that her hair got caught in an elevator once, so she couldn't believe an operative would actually have hair that long. Then, after a while, she finally wrote me an email about it. This hair thing obviously bothered her a great deal. Since I traversed the Internet so much and was aware of her irritation, I was sympathetic to her pain.

5) the most recent one was an email from Macedonia asking me why I was portraying her country in such a bad light, that there was no such thing happening in her part of the world. She was very adamant about this.

You hear that incredulous laughter? Yes, moi. But what can I say/do? Send her links of all the news articles, UN reports and personal accounts from abused Eastern European women that I've read during my research? Ask some of the women I've interviewed to write her?

At least this reader was polite ;-).

Really, there's nothing for me to say, but to take it as part of the experience of being published. You put your work out there; readers are going to experience the stories their own way. I couldn't have anticipated the negative points brought up above (Long hair? Pimping?) but then I also haven't anticipated the many great emails I've received through the years, including the ones from readers who have found my books a comfort during hard times.

Being published, for me, is wanting to be read, to connect with as many readers as I can. But the downside is, that also means getting readers who don't connect and don't mind saying it in the snarkiest way. As a roofer, I've heard worse comments, so no, I'm not as bothered by it. Besides, some of the snark was quite funny.

I tell myself that these readers gave me 25 cents and made my publisher happy with a sale. I also remind myself that I am also a reader and have my likes and dislikes. I just don't email the author to tell him/her how he/she failed! My personal rule: email and internet forums are like real-time conversations--if I wouldn't say something to the person face-to-face, I wouldn't write the post. I very much doubt many of the snarkers would actually go up to the writer in real life to say, "I think your book is trash! In fact, I threw it away! And I'm never going to buy another of your books, you moron!" But somehow, they think an email with those words is okay. Strange.

But back to Hoffmangate, who did it the other way round (paraphrasing her tweets): "I think your review is trash! Who are you, you moron, to criticize me, a bestselling author? You're a nobody, that's who! And now I'm going to tell the world your phone number so they can tell you you're a moron too!" You just know she didn't even think twice about typing those words, but if she'd had to take a plane to Boston to confront that reviewer, she probably would've realized how extreme her reaction was.

What about you? Have you ever emailed to an author to tell her that her story sucked donkey balls? ;-)

Bear with me while I learn. The first button likes the POST. The second button likes the BLOG site. Please help me by "liking" me. Thanks!
NO NEED TO CLICK TILL I TELL YA: RESERVED FOR NOT SAFE FOR WORK STUFF

Well, Now I Know I Don't Write Books

New knowledge of the day: You haven't been reading books. In fact, you have been reading stuff that are sort of like Soduku or Hustler Magazine.

While discussing/ranting about a particularly stupid and misogynist Washington Post article by a woman whose premise is "women really are dumb" (and she wasn't joking), a popular political blogger wrote:

"romance novels*...are not "books", as that word is normally used. They are either tools for relaxation or the female equivalent of porn. They should therefore be compared not to War and Peace, but to either Ultimate Sudoku or the Hustler centerfold."

Many of the following comments ignored this little nugget in their agreement with said blogger about her rant, till Gary Farber, who is made of teh Awesome:

"So I hate to stand up in the middle of a good rant.

But, well, although I've never worked on romance novels myself -- although I've worked on stuff with cross-over appeal for a variety of companies -- I spent years working as an editor for a company, Avon Books, whose bread and butter was romance novels, as well as freelancing for many years with my houses with romance lines.

I worked every day for years side-by-side with romance editors. We had offices and desks next to each other, just a couple of handfuls of editors. I learned a fair amount about the field, and its similarities and differences to other genre fiction over the years.

What Hilzoy said is, I regret to say, a load of class-based, ignorant, anti-genre, elitist, crap. It's the identical kind of crap dumped ono genre writers of every sort, be they mystery writers, sf or fantasy writers, children's books writers, romance book writers, or what have you.

In every genre, there's a lot of crap, there's a lot of mediocre stuff, there's some good stuff, there's some great stuff, and there's some occasionally brilliant stuff. That's as true of the genre of "literature," or "mainstream" fiction as it is of any flavor of fiction or nonfiction.

There are no firm boundaries or borders between genres, and there's no homogenity of quality whatever.

There are no divisions into "this genre is all worthy" and "this genre is such garbage that we can't even call what we put it in "books," let alone call the producers "writers."

[...] "Second, romance novels are not 'books', as that word is normally used. They are either tools for relaxation or the female equivalent of porn. They should therefore be compared not to War and Peace, but to either Ultimate Sudoku or the Hustler centerfold." And what does that make the writers, and the editors?
This is seriously offensive stuff, Hilzoy. How would you feel about someone writing a rant like this about philosophy professors, and their work?

Should I give you some phone numbers of romance novel writers and editors, so you can tell them you've carefully considered their careers, their decades of work, and their individual novels, and that you've evaluated them, distinguishing the quality of one writer and none novel from the next thoughtfully, and that this is your valuation and verdict on their work? Or should they just come by the blog, maybe after some links, to read your opinion of what they do?

I hope you'll consider rewriting this. I realize that I'm really seriously offended by it; wait until some of the actual romance folks see it, if you want a real unhappy reaction.

But it turns out that us folks who produce such horrible and worthless nonliterature are actually really people, who have weird delusions that their work isn't pseudo-porn trash to be pissed on by people who feel superior to it, and to its readers.
The upper end of the romance genre is Jane Austen. What's appealing is the stories, and the characters, and the writing. Want to pick on an individual work, or writer, as lousy? Fine. Go do it.

Want to trash an entire genre, and all its writers and readers?

This arouses unwelcome responses, including impulsive and rude imperative suggestions involving recommended actions, that I shall decline to make.
But they weren't terribly original suggestions, and thus I leave them to dwell in the reader's imagination.

Ironically -- but not -- War And Piece is stuffed with romance genre elements, by the way."

He couldn't have said it any better. And--you know it's bound to happen--as word got out in Romancelandia, linkages started way, way earlier today and we have Nora Roberts, Ann Aguirre, and other authors weighing in. Okay, I did too, but only one small post, so there, and was certainly in no way as eloquent as Mr. Farber, La Nora, and the others.

You can find the whole LONG-ASS THREAD HERE.

But you didn't know, did you, that those thousands of things in your bookcases are really NON-books and that they are porn. Tell me, do you think the romance books you buy aren't books but actually sort of Hustle Magazines for women?

*********************

Speaking of Mr. Farber, since he mentioned he was an Avon junior editor, I clicked to his site. I'm always willing to help out a fellow human down on his luck and it seems Mr. Farber is having some truly bad times. I may be an out-of-work roofer, but at least I'm not living on desperation yet. So, if you would like to help out this man (you can read his story HERE after you scroll past his Paypal buttons, which can be a bit offputting to some readers, but scroll down anyway, and read what he has to say).

I don't personally know Mr. Farber and really can't vouch for him. The blogging community appears to know him well enough. However, after reading his plight, I'm compelled to show some compassion for someone whose current options are few. If every one of my readers donate a dollar or two, he should have a couple of months' rent taken care of while he works to straighten out his disability paperwork. I know how it feels to live on the verge of calm desperation. Besides, his awesome post at the initial site to which I linked is worth my couple of dollars! :-)

Bear with me while I learn. The first button likes the POST. The second button likes the BLOG site. Please help me by "liking" me. Thanks!
NO NEED TO CLICK TILL I TELL YA: RESERVED FOR NOT SAFE FOR WORK STUFF