Uber Author's Longest Ever Interview

It's Tracy Cooper Posey's OPEN MIC WITH GENNITA LOW. She asked some tough questions. I tried my best to sound intelligent (and sane). Did I succeed? Click over there and find out! And do please comment. Would love to talk to ya.

I know, I know. It's amazing what goes on in my mind besides roofing and mutant poms.

Did I tell you I was roofing an Airborne Ranger's house? He is a magnificent fellow and his wife is too because he calls her the War Department. Every evening, I ask him how he's liking the progress of his new roof, and he replies, "The War Department approves." It amuses me no end.

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A Day With Pepe Le Pom

A digital slideshow by Smilebox

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Two Blond Guy Jokes

I've been working my ass off this past week. So all I have are two blond jokes and the reason why I'm telling them is because they were told to me by construction guys. About blond guys! That gives them points, right? So here goes:

Blond Guy Joke #1:

Two blond carpenters were working on a house. John, who was nailing down house siding, would reach into her nail pouch, pull out a nail and either toss it over her shoulder or nail it in.

Chuck asked, 'Why are you throwing those nails away?'

John explained, 'When I pull a nail out of my pouch, about half of them have the head on the wrong end and I throw them away because they're defective.'

Chuck got completely upset and yelled, 'You moron! Those nails aren't defective! They're for the other side of the house!'

Blond Guy Joke #2:

Father: I thought I asked you to go out and shovel the snow off the driveway.

Blonde Son: You did, I'm on my way.

Father: But you only have one boot on.

Blonde Son: Well, there's only one foot of snow.

So, there you go. Proof that equal opportunity does happen on construction sites.

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RWA Convention Ahead/Signing Virtually Hers!

RT Book Reviews August issue is out on the stands and they gave Virtually Hers, which is coming out in print in Aug., 4 stars. I liked the last line: "Low is back and kicking butt!" Hee. Maybe I can use that on a book cover. Or get a T-shirt with that line.

I'll be signing Virtually Hers at RWA Convention in Orlando too, so I'm doubly excited. That, and the Mammoth Book of Spec. Ops. Romance. And I'm bringing a load of Big Bad Wolf to give away, so I hope many of you will be at the conference! Orlando is an ideal place to hold one, IMO, because you can bring your family along and they can enjoy Mickey Mouse, Sea World, etc., while you indulge in your own novel fantasies ;-).

It's hard to believe July is almost here. I'm trying so hard to get everything done by then, but you know, I swear the clock ticks a bit faster when I'm not looking! Everyday I wake up telling myself I have to do this, and this, and this, and then...work and bills get in the way, phone calls happen, and I have to go somewhere, and before I know it, I'm home all sticky from the sun and my feet hurt, and the mutant poms are demanding their time and food, and I look at the clock desperately, and it's approaching midnight. Crazy, isn't it?

Will you be in Orlando? Some Australian readers are coming and I'm excited to meet them; I love my Australians readers--crazy, happy-go-lucky and just plain fun! The proceeds from the giant Literacy Signing all goes to charity and every year RWA exceeds itself. So do plan on coming, if you're able, especially those living near the Orlando/Florida area. A day trip could be fun! I'm not sure if the Harry Potter World will be open by then, but hey, if it is, you can say you met Nora Roberts AND Harry Potter at the same city ;-).

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It's Not A Dead Parrot

I'm talking about BP CEO Tony Hayward, you know, the Brit guy on TV with the adorable Gekko accent, the public face of the BP deep ocean oil well explosion disaster. I don't think this man knows that he is the designated whipping boy, and if he does, he sure knows how to make himself sound clueless with his epic rhetorical blunders.

The gems coming out each time he opens his mouth reminded me of Marie Antoinette's purportedly arrogant "Let them eat cake" when confronted by a starving crowd outside the palace doors.

You must speak his lines below in full Monty Python style, and then tell me if you don't agree with me that this guy's eating some soles, and I don't mean the dead fish floating in the polluted Gulf.

I'm rephrasing some of his quotes taken from my Google and Yahoo news feeds. Go check out the news articles yourself and read for yourself his comments about not being an expert and other "gems."

Louisiana/Gulf Residents: "Excuse me, we'd like to register a complaint. There's a leaking oil well in our ocean."

Hayward: "No one wanted to resolve the crisis as badly as I because I'd like my life back."

Ahem. Dear, Mr. Hayward, so do the residents of Louisiana, who lives will NEVER be the same for a long, long time after you've returned home to eat cake.

Before the Senate hearing (I'm paraphrasing and parodying C-Span here, so you have to play along):

Senator: "This is a dead well."

Hayward: "That's irreverent, isn't it?"

Senator: "But it's dead and it's dead because of your company!"

Hayward: "We drill hundreds of wells. I wasn't part of the decision making process on THIS well. Another well that hasn't exploded, yes, but not this one. This one is somebody else's decision."

S: "But you're the CEO!"

H: "But that's irreverent again, isn't it? I'm the CEO, yes, but that doesn't make me an expert.

S: "What then do your oceanography scientists say about the well and the leaking oil?"

H: "Sorry, I'm not an oceanography scientist. Next question?"

S: "But aren't your engineers going to drill a relief well to save the ocean?"

H: "Sorry, sorry, I'm not a drilling engineer either. Just a humble little CEO."

S: "You're stonewalling us!!!"

H: "I'm really, really sorry. Really, I am. Now I have to go to attend to Bob. I need a weekend off to see my precious Bob sail around the Isle of Wight. Lots of millionaires there, you know. Now, I'm an expert of that. You can come along, if you like, but really, it's just me trying to get some family time."

"Bob" is Mr Hayward's yacht and he took the weekend off to take it sailing at a world-famous race. Because, you know, that's what CEO do.

Here, y'all watch the great Monty Python skit below and tell me if Mr. Tony Hayward doesn't sound like he's trying to convince the people the parrot wasn't dead.

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An Excerpt From Ch 2 Alex and T

I know some of you don't like spoilers, so I posted the excerpt over at FYEO. This is a scene included in my proposal package. More coming soon. Enjoy!

Questions and comments welcomed!

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Open Mic -- Uberauthor Gennita Unleashed!

Tracy Cooper Posey, who also writes as Teal Ceagh for Ellora's Cave, has invited me to an "open mic" at her blog. She thinks I have answers! Heh, heh. Truly, I'm honored and flattered to be on her hit list of authors with whom she wants to chat.

Anyway, she's asking for questions from readers--questions that you don't normally get to ask me here, maybe?--on writing, roofing, life being a pom prisoner, and other things that had nagged you forever but for some reason, you were too shy to ask before. Here is your chance! Click on her name and it'll link to her blog. Ask away. I'll lie through my teeth and entertain you with tales about being uber.

And yes, I'll think of a good door prize. No requests for Karaoke! (Leiha, I'm looking at you!)

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So I'm Supposed To Chalk It Up To Ignorance?

Karate and Kung Fu.

I'm not talking about knowing the intricate movements by eye. I don't expect everyone to be knowledgeable about a Karate kick and a Kung Fu hand slap.

But if I tell you, "My kid is studying Karate," I do expect that 99 percent of you to suddenly visualize Japan, Japanese, sushi, Mr. Miyagi. OTOH, if I say, "My kid is taking up Kung Fu," your brain should instantly connect to images of Chinese, China, Bruce Lee.

Am I taking for granted that my fellow Americans, even those who aren't totally exposed to international culture, in today's 1001 cable channels, 5000 video games, 1,000,000 Youtube connections, should know that Karate is Japanese and Kung Fu is Chinese?

My offhanded joking comment this last week on one of my social networks was just a wry observation at that moment: "Y'all know there's no Karate in Karate Kid (2), right?" Meaning, I was pointing out something that was obvious to me, funny, too, because I know Hollywood ain't that dumb when they named a movie Karate Kid and set it in China with Kung Fu. Hollywood knew the difference.

A commenter remarked that she couldn't tell the difference and didn't really care because she's all about the emotional connection in the story. To me, there are readers out there who correct every "incorrect" historical detail in a historical romance, expressing horror about the use of champagne flutes in such a such a year, etc. Yet, when I pointed out this--to me, quite big--detail, I was told that it shouldn't matter to me.

Why not?

It matters to me, just as it offends many people that all Asians--Chinese, Korean, Thai, Japanese--are lumped together and dismissed as looking "alike." Sure, it's not easy to tell us apart, but these days, most people ask where I'm from originally; they no longer just assume I'm a "Chink" from China. When my friends and I reply, Malaysia, or Singapore, or Thailand, they have an idea about the general locations of those countries.

So, I've been assuming that in the last 25 years, there has been some sort of progress. Am I wrong? Do most of you not know that Karate is Japanese and Kung Fu is Chinese? That it's stupid funny to call a movie Karate Kid when it's set in China with the kid learning Kung Fu?

Again, I'm not talking about knowing the artforms and all their movements. I'm talking about the words themselves.

I wasn't even upset or thinking much about this subject till the online conversation. She didn't know. Okay, I can accept that. But now that I've done my best to help her know, she still didn't care. I don't know whether I can accept that.

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Pepe Peekaboo

Pepe is emulating Jiggy, which might be a bad thing.

So, Jiggy has a favorite hiding place. The first pic made him famous. So Pepe decided he needs one too. Which alpha male is cuter?




Pepe: "You call that cute? Why, I'm much, much more adorrrrrable. I, too, can look out from under ze chair and watch the lady do her taptaptap theeeng on her stupid computer."

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Rant: A Pet Is Not For You To Do This To

It's called Extreme Grooming. There are magazines dedicated to this newish trend of subjecting one's fluffy furbabies to hours (and HOURS) of being poffed and puffed and pepped so that the owners could show them off in a contest.

For me, pets are meant to be companions, four-legged beings who run like the wind in sheer joy, comfort you when you're down, be the wild child and the good listener, the crazy thing that loves to walk, play, or sit watching TV. As long as you're with him, he's a happy one.

Making him sit for hours and hours and hours of grooming is not fun to him. Would you make your child do this? Oh wait, some parents do....

Sigh.

You know, I've laughed at Halloween pics of pets dressed up as ghouls and vamps, so I do think your furbabies and you can have fun with costumes, but when it's done like this, I think it's more a statement about you and your free time than a pet and you being silly for a special occasion, isn't it?

Man, can you see them taking one of the above babies for a walk? Oh, no, that'd mess up their dyed and coaxed fur! No playing in the grass, Frisky! Can't have you messing up that artsy creation to make you look like a camel! No, no, no, Lassie, bad dog, how many times must I tell you not to crawl under the house to chase the cat? You're a panda bear, not a dog, now sit and chew this fake bamboo stick mommy has made for you.

Gah.

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He Has No Name

Jiggle Low is upset and jealous. A new mutant pom is town. Lilah is sort of meh about it.

Jiggy has never shared with a male. They're both alpha. Oh dear.

ETA: Everyone, say hi to Pepe Le Pom!

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Today's sexy TOPic of Discussion

Sometimes, a woman's top draws a lot of attention at her job. An employee at Citibank, Debrahlee Lorenza, made national news when she was fired because she was dressed too sexy. If you google her story and pics, you'll find that she wore standard office clothes, which Citibank told her not to, any more because she looked too sexy in them and it drove male employees wild with desire was too distracting for males.

Sure, she does look sexy in them, but I didn't think she looked sleazy at all. I guess male Citibankers where she was employed were walking erections from 9-5pm everyday.

What about the other way round?

When I was totally starving, I went for an “interview” at the then new and popular sportsbar with the capital H in its name. I was told to put on the company tee and be sure to knot it tight, and then to stand in a lineup with these tall, leggy, beautiful young blonde women.

Um, I didn’t get the job. I was told to my face my boobs didn’t fill in the tight teeshirt. My girlfriend, whom I affectionately called Ding-Dong and still do, got the job, though.

The manager wasn’t sympathetic when I told him starvation took away my mammaries. Ah well. :)

Any good stories about your top to add to mine?

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More or Less?

Do you guys like to read snippets and excerpts of ongoing writing? If I enjoy an author, I look forward to any snippets that she poses of her writing-in-progress (WIP). Some friends don't because they hate to wait after reading a short snip or they don't like to be spoiled. But everyone knows I'm a spoiler ho, reading every plotline, secret, and winner of every TV competition ahead of time. I start reading books from the end, that's how bad I am.

So, what about you? If, let's say, I post the next two chapters of T and Alex, that is, the rest of the proposal I'm sending out to an editor, would you skip those posts? Or would that make you happy? Just curious. It's interesting to see how others read. For example, if I'm excited about a novel, I hunt down reviews and like-minded web discussions, just so I could get a before and after experience. I guess, my reading fun encompasses more than just the story itself.

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Winners of Caption

Mr. Jiggle Low picked two winners for the caption. Will Ms Deborah Blake Dempsey and Holly please email me? Both of you won $10 BN gift card. I have the codes ready for you ;-).

Congrats!

I do so like to start Mondays being nice and happy!

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Cute Quacks

This made me smile. Sometimes momma needs a helping hand! (To start video, click the bottom left arrow, not the one in the middle of the screen)

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Relentless

Time keeps marching at a punishing pace and I can't seem to keep up. I apologize for Virtually One not being out yet. It's my fault. It's not finished and I'm having a bit of a problem with Jed right now.

Admittedly, telling you I'm exhausted from re-roofing doesn't make me feel any better, so I try to wake up at odd hours in the morning to sneak in some writing. I love my writing, but when one has to force oneself for a word count it becomes a chore, you know? I hope you aren't too mad at the delay, but I'll try my best to get the manuscript ready by end of the month. Fingers-crossed.

And now, I must go back to writing (late lunch) and then back on the roof.

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To Which I Had No Answer

Today, one roofer declared to me, "Hey, I know all about Shaolin. I watched every episode of Kung Fu."

He wasn't joking.

I wanted to say, "Hey, I know all about Spartans. I watched 300 three hundred times."

But he wasn't joking, you see. So I had no answer.

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