ANNOUNCEMENTS

VIRTUALLY HERS came out Oct. 2009. Get it at SAMHAIN Publishing. VIRTUALLY ONE coming soon.
VIRTUALLY HERS OUT IN PRINT AUG 2010.

I've also made available at Amazon BIG BAD WOLF a COS Commando book, an earlier manuscript about Killian Nicholas Langley. You can sample the first five chapters right here. EBOOK now available for KINDLE, NOOK, and at SMASHWORDS for $4.99.

I appreciate all your emails. If you'd like to buy Virtually His NEW, please contact me. Thank you.



CLICK:

Big Bad Wolf Author's Note/CH. 1

Big Bad Wolf CH. 2

Big Bad Wolf Ch. 3

(more chapters on left side bar below)



To read excerpts of VIRTUALLY HERS, scroll down & click on the links on the right.



EMAIL ME AT JENN AT GENNITA-LOW DOT COM


VIRTUALLY HERS UPDATE

VIRTUALLY HERS OUT IN PRINT AUG 2010! Discounted at Amazon!

To read & comment on the poll (left column), click HERE. Thank you for all the wonderful posts there!

UPDATE: I SOLD THE SERIES TO SAMHAIN!

Here's your UBER VIRTUALLY HERS YAK THREAD!


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Sunday, November 30, 2008

YooHoo!

Hope everyone had a wonderful holiday. It's been great for me, catching up with friends and family, and getting some quiet time for gardening. You've been quiet, my friends, so I'm assuming that your Thanksgiving long weekend has been swell too.

Quickies to slowly get back into talking with Jenn ;-).

1) What I am reading now

I just finished Larissa Ione's Pleasure Unbound. Awesome start to an interesting paranormal series. Imagine Demon ER, with your handsome Dr. Ross as an incubus (sex) demon, heh heh. Throw in Buffy with a bit of a problem--she's injured and being sewn back together by beings that hate her but are bound by whatever the demon's version of the Hippocratic Oath is.

A terrific story--sexy, different (the demon doctor thing), with a few twists in the end. I like the way the book opens with both sides having a black and white concept of their worlds, but the more the hero and heroine interact, the more grey it becomes. I also like how the demons always act like demons, or other-worldly, anyway. Their reactions, their sense of justice, and their culture are just alien enough that I buy the hero's and his brothers' perspectives, even if they aren't always "good" the way we see good. The best part is the demon brothers' banter with each other--funny but not overly snarky, affectionate in a demonic sort of way, and umm...you can say their names without lisping. ;-)

Warning: The first few sex scenes aren't romantic. They were hawt. But some of you might find them a bit brutal. Hey, he's a demon!

***************

2) Big Bad Wolf Update

Almost ready! Paid for the cover photo, redid the back, and tweaked. Once I submit, I get a couple of ARCs to make sure everything is as it should be. Then we can go live!

Question: It's trade size (approx. 5x8) and 100,000 words (regular length). The cheapest I could make it is $11. Yes, printing is, like, expen$$$ive. Would you pay $11or $12 for a trade-size book? I really want to know. The ones I buy, mostly erotic romances, are always between $14-$15. I'm thinking they're probably using the same POD service I am, LOL.

It's been an interesting learning process and certainly deserves a good long post one day. I know I've learned a lot.

Please click on the Yes or No poll about the price when I set it up, 'kay?

********************

Other Things

Have you guys been watching The Lord of the Rings on TNT the last few nights? Tonight is third and final part. I've forgotten how much I enjoyed those movies, but now every time I see those poor Hobbits, I keep thinking of Rambo Rabbits. LOL.

And Aragorn. Sigh. There's a King and Warrior, eh?

One of these days, I'll buy the DVD set so I can see the extended versions. I want to catch all the extra scenes my friend told me about, like Legolas and Gimli's drinking game or the part where Aragorn healed Eowen and she fell in love with Faramir.

****************

So, a nice vacay for me. Did any of you go shopping? Stand in line at Best Buy all Weds. and Thurs.? Gulp. Now those people are tenacious about their shopping.

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Saturday, November 29, 2008

I Feel Like A Whale

Serendipity strikes again. I was telling everyone I felt like a beached whale after Thursday night's feast and what caught my eye today? A story about a whale. Funny how the universe mocks me. ;-)

This story appeared in the SF Chronicle on Dec. 14, 2005. The story has become one of those urban legends that get passed around. Nonetheless, I thought it an appropriate entry for Thanksgiving.

It is about about a female humpback whale who had become entangled in a spider web of crab traps and lines. She was weighted down by hundreds of pounds of traps that caused her to struggle to stay afloat. She also had hundreds of yards of line rope wrapped around her body, her tail, her torso, a line tugging in her mouth.

A fisherman spotted her just east of the Farralone Islands (outside the Golden Gate) and radioed an environmental group for help. Within a few hours, the rescue team arrived and determined that she was so bad off, the only way to save her was to dive in and untangle her.

A very dangerous proposition. One slap of the tail could kill a rescuer.

They worked for hours with curved knives and eventually freed her. When she was free, the divers say she swam in what seemed like joyous circles. She then came back to each and every diver, one at a time, and nudged them, pushed gently around-she thanked them. Some said it was the most incredibly beautiful experience of their lives. The guy who cut the rope out of her mouth says her eye was following him the whole time, and he will never be the same.

May you, and all those you love,
Be so blessed and fortunate...
To be surrounded by people
Who will help you get untangled
From the things that are binding you.
And, may you always know the joy
Of giving and receiving gratitude.

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Thursday, November 27, 2008

Post #2: A Moment To Reflect

Taking a leaf from John Scalzi's post on his blog, now that you're finally done cooking/stuffing/eating and have a moment to reflect--and besides the pretty eye candy of the first post--what are you thankful for?

My answer at Scalzi's:

I'm thankful for savings so I don't have to eat my Mutant Poms for Thanksgiving.

;-)

On a serious note, I'm thankful for having wonderful readers like you, who have been so patient and supportive all year.

And I'm thankful for our fighting men and women overseas who stand in harm's way for our country. Bless them and their families who are missing them today and everyday.

Your turn.



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Thanksgiving GLow-Style

I thought I'd give you other kinds of football to enjoy while they're all in a stupor in front of the TV. Because real football and rugby have so much more to offer, don'tcha think?




Click on NSFW link, my dears.



And here is the rest of it.









Happy Thanksgiving!




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Wednesday, November 26, 2008

Post #2: Romance Plotting In Leftover Turkey Recipes

I'm guest-posting on Southern Fried Chicas today, so please do go visit. I'll be talking about left-over turkey recipes and you'll just have to find how I managed to make turkey recipes worked with romance writing ;-).

Meanwhile, I'm shopping for ingredients for my annual Thanksgiving Fried Rice Special for ten. Gulp. Ten people. Large families don't think about this, but I eat out most of the time or cook for just myself (and my mutant poms), so every year, the prospect of doing such a simple dish becomes a nervous endeavor. I'm just amazed at all of you who are cooking the whole nine yards at home for your visiting families--turkey and stuffing, all the veges, sweet potato, pies. My girlfriend does this and I watch her in awe every single time. And of course, she looks gorgeous all day long. She's a freak, I tell you.

Now go check out the Chicas through the link above and give us a few leftover ideas there.

HAPPY THANKSGIVING! Eat, drink, be in a stupor! ;-)



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Pouting



Today we went shopping for printer ink at Office Depot and I finally got to touch a new Acer Aspire. $350! Can you imagine? For a fully functional computer that does email and web, with wireless and camera. TWO and the HALF POUNDS! It was the size of a trade paperback. Sigh. I so want one. So cute.

But not this year. Sigh.
UPDATE: Amazon has one with an offer--get their credit card and get $30 off from the purchase. That makes it $320. Argh. So. Tempted.



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Monday, November 24, 2008

Why Can't They Get Along?

Is it just me or does your mind scream ANITA BLAKE every time you see the pups in the cam cuddling "like a pile of puppies?" ***grin***

I spent much of yesterday retraining Bad Puppy. I don't know what it is about Alpha Males, and Bad Puppy is definitely one, but they act like everything should be theirs to mark/mess with even after months/years of training. Take Alpha Male who has recently returned from his month long baseball tournament/fun. I can't seem to convince the guy that the stuff he pulls with his gang in hotel rooms is not going to work here in my house. And that used glasses and dishes are supposed to go back to the kitchen because there is NO MAID SERVICE.

Also, while he was gone, Bad Puppy has reverted back to his love of sleeping ON the pillow next to me (which I don't mind because it's cute to wake up and have a sleeping little dog cuddling in my neck), so he isn't too pleased to have his place usurped by That Other One again, so...of course he does the usual--he lifts his leg and marks the pillow. Then Alpha Male lies down on it, yells and curses, and chases Bad Alpha Puppy all around the house.

Now, because of this pattern of antics, I have lots of new pillows stocked in the closet, but man, you'd think, after doing this a dozen or so times, one of them would be trained by now?! I live in hope ;-).

This kind of territorial behavior is often shown in our romance books, of course. An alpha male tends to like taking over the heroine's world and it takes a strong female protagonist to NOT let that happen. Done right, it's often amusing to read, especially if the alpha hero starts getting steam coming out his ears. But in real life, sometimes, the feeling of pounding one's head against the wall repeatedly is prevalent. Because the Alpha Male just does not LISTEN well, from man to puppy. But they love you to death, though ;-). So the payoff is pretty good.

Maybe I'll invite them to my Thanksgiving party after all, ha!

So, are you planning a big feast at home, or do you drive to a friend's/relative's house like me? I'm not a very traditional person, so I tend to spend my holidays in weird ways.

I truly understand how hard it is if you're alone too. It isn't easy working up the holiday spirit. If you don't have family nearby (like me) or generous friends to take you in, please consider going to a diner near your home. They're usually open for the locals and their turkey dinner special is reasonably priced because the clientele showing up usually consists of retirees with fixed income who don't cook any more or singles. Through my twenty-some odd years without my family, I've done that and have enjoyed the experience. Sometimes, just taking the time to dress and go out is good for the soul. Of course, nothing beats sleeping in all day ;-).

Anyway, I hope you make this Thanksgiving a bit more special because we deserve it after such a turbulent year. Drive safely if you're going on a trip. Call an old friend if you're staying at home. And watch the turkey if you're cooking one because one year, many moons ago, my mutant poms stole and mangled mine.

Lastly, if you're trying the turducken, let me know.

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Sunday, November 23, 2008

UBER SPY IS BACK!



Hey Jack Bauer Fiends, do not forget, my sweeties, 24: REDEMPTION is on at 8pm tonight. You know what I'll be doing.

There is no TV love like Jack Bauer Lurv. I so miss the torture and the perimeter stakeouts. I so need to catch a glimpse of Jack Bauer Hoodie and Satchel Bag. Oh, where are you, my Countdown Clock?



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Saturday, November 22, 2008

Puppiness And Books

I've linked to the Shiba Inu Puppy Cam for two weeks now. They're at the bottom of the page and I often ck on them every time I ck my blog. The pups sure have grown! Big heads, lil' bodies, running, tearing around the place, fighting and playing with each other...who knew how mesmerizing 24/7 of Puppiness could be?! The whole world seems to be talking about them right now, but remember, we saw them while they were quiet puppies ;-).

Going to so miss them when they go off to their new moms and dads, sniff. What am I going to do then, when I can't sleep at night?

************

I supposed I can read ;-). My great weekend question is:

How do you know this person is a non-stop reader with this mad lurv for books?

1) When every car has a few books on the floor, passenger side
2) When there is a towering pile on the toilet tank instead of pretty knick-knacks
3) When there are books in the shoeboxes in the closet
4) When they crowd the bottom of the bed
5) When there is one drape on a chair in every room of the house
6) When the guest room is now part-library
7) When your hubby/significant other has to relinquish his bottom drawer
8) When there is one in the laundry basket
9) When there is a batch sitting in the larder

Well? What are your crazy symptoms?

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Friday, November 21, 2008

Your Uber Opinions, Please

Hey, here is my fun project about to be let loose in the wild world of POD publishing. So many of you have emailed me for a "printed book" version of Big Bad Wolf so your non-computer mom/aunt/relative can read the story too and so you can add a book to your GLow collection, that I looked into various options available. I think I found one that wouldn't cost an arm and a leg (under $10, I'm hoping).

Since Nathan Kamp is out of my pocket-league, I have three covers here that I have picked from stock. I haven't bought them yet since nothing is finaled. There were some awfully sexy ones in jeans and all but I thought I'd tone it down with just a good-looking face. Which one appeals to you? You can click on the first two pics so they open "bigger." The first and third look similar but one of them has a female silhouette behind the title, floating above him.

(Ignore the watermarks. I didn't buy the converter program or the pics yet)












The following two were verrrrrra pretty, but I figured too much for romantic suspense??? But I'm adding them here for your gratuitous enjoyment ;-).

NONPICK 1: He's got an outie!


NONPICK 2: There's a roof behind him! ;-)


Your feedback is much appreciated since this is my Fun Project. Everything is almost ready to go! Just need a good commercial cover and once I pay for it, etc...yes, you can buy the book for Christmas at Amazon! Yeeha.








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Thursday, November 20, 2008

Post #2: TV Rant: WTF IZZat?

Is it just me, or is Izzy's newest trauma-romance with Dennis-Casper these couple of weeks on Grey's Anatomy pukeworthy? I'm looking around for a shark swimming around Grace Seattle. I mean, this was once a snarky doctor's drama that was romantic and sort of believable. We're now getting sex scenes with ghosts.

And while this is going on, interns are operating on each other for practice in the basement. Of a hospital. No, not one shark, there's a school of shark swimming out there and look! Is that Fonzie ski-jumping over them? Why, yes it is.

Sigh.

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Uber Captain: The Art Of Straddling, Sizzling And Suspensing

Yo, here is next year's first agenda. It's one of my favorite conventions and this time, they were kind enough not to schedule it during tax time ;-).

Here are the workshops I'll be captaining at the Romantic Times Convention next year. Both are going to be on Wednesday, the first day of the Con, which just made me realize...umm...I shouldn't be arriving on Weds. morn like I always do. It'd not be good to host a panel with OtherMe still in control of my state of mind. Sigh. Must change hotel registration.

Anyway, they are fun panels, with some top-notch authors helping me out:

1) ROMANTIC SUSPENSE: STRADDLING HEART-POUNDING SUSPENSE AND SIZZLING ROMANCE

How much is too much sex while having dangerous fun? Learn how to balance sexual tension and danger, and how to use dialogue and setting to captivate minds, how to create characters to capture hearts and how to push the envelope to create a bestseller.

Captain: Gennita Low Panelists: Christina Skye, Roxanne St. Claire, agent Lucienne Diver, Joan Johnston

2) ROMANTIC SUSPENSE: CREATING CUTTING-EDGE ROMANTIC SUSPENSE

Romantic suspense is creeping into all genres of fiction, taking it to new heights. Expert panelists will show how to expand your horizons using the newest trends and will share what’s next for the Romantic Suspense genre.

Captain: Gennita Low Panelists: Barry Eisler, Karen Rose, Rebecca York

Of course, I haven't even started thinking about what to say or ask yet, but given that these things are an hour a piece, heck, I'll just have to practice talking with the speed of a bullet train so everyone gets their 10 minutes or so! It's going to be interesting, that's for sure.

Any of you planning to attend? And will you be bringing giant faery wings? ;-)



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Wednesday, November 19, 2008

Sob. My Billionaire Keeper Cut My Allowance!

He said no to my need to have that new belly gem stone. Wahhh. He told me I can only go to three vacation spots this year, not six. Sniff. And the worst indignity of all--No. More. Nannies for my poor adopted children. Shriek! Does he expect me to take care of them myself?

Mistresses have it bad during this economy downturn too, you know.

According to the WSJ who interviewed some millionaires who kept mistresses:

Fully 82% of men in the study said they planned to lower the allowances to their mistresses, while more than three quarters planned to provide fewer gifts, less expensive gifts and fewer perks, like jet rides, resort vacations and top restaurant meals.


Sigh. What. Am I going to do?! I can't not have my daily personal masseur, I simply can't! I won't give him up!

(Side note: New Presents Titles:

Bought (at Half Price) by the Billionaire
Bargain Mistress!
Mistress For Sale!

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Tuesday, November 18, 2008

Post #2: I Break For Chubby Puppies

Don't worry. I made the PUPPY CAM a sticky post at the bottom. You can come back and check on them here any time you want. I do, every freaking hour. They're growing so fat and chubby, aren't they? Even Bad Puppy's getting jealous after I showed him the screen.

Right now, in the middle of rewriting some Grace chapters, I decided to take a break and read a book. Picked up from the TBR: Richelle Mead's Storm Born, urban fantasy. So far, she kills supernatural things with a wand. Interesting. Any of you read this book?

In fact, what are you reading now? Share with each other.

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Based On The Poll


So far, Bourne is kicking Craig's Bond's ass! I mean, by a mile!

So, please explain to me, why you think so. I'm curious. Why would Bourne win in the Bitch Fight with Craig's Bond? Remember, I'm pointing to the new Bond, not

Mr. Lazenby's frilly vested or Mr. Roger Moore's smirky retarded Bond.

I can see Geeky Jason Bourne killing with a pencil but heck, you got to give kudos to Craig's Bond and his Tuxedo of Death. I mean, it stayed clean and unrumpled even after jumping out of an airplane, come on.
So take your gloves off and let's hear your trash talk.


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Monday, November 17, 2008

Post #2: When A Mormon Reads Meyer's Twilight

Bewarned: this leads to rude snarkage and if you can't take them kind of wanks, don't go THERE. But I have to give some kind of nod to a reader who has the imagination to compare Edward's sparkly perfect family to my darling Osmonds. Whoa, that's snarkage with whip cream on top.

So, if you're a Mormon, or don't want to laugh at religious funning, don't go and check out this site,

Have you seen the Trailer Spoof that I posted some time ago?

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The Real Quantum of Solace

So I cast my vote for the Best J. B.




November 23, baby! Commence countdown.



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Saturday, November 15, 2008

Quantum of Solace: Bond, A Very Pissed-Off Bond

Guess where I've been? ;-)

Who would walk out of the desert with a beautiful lady, still in a tuxedo, after falling out of an aeroplane WITHOUT a parachute and climbing out of a deep cavern in dress shoes, and manage to remain kissably cool?

Yup. It's him, Mr. Bond, uberest spy of them all.

I've never seen a Bond this angry and I like it. Quantum of Solace wasn't just about the SeKrit ProJek but also the state of mind. Of Bond's, that is. Pissed-off, he is, more so than devastated, like everyone's telling him, about the death of Vesper, his lover from Casino Royale. There were a few moments of angst, but really, this movie projected his regret and loneliness more so than of pain. All the secondary characters, from M to the old friend, told him that he had this "angst about lost love" problem but me, I don't buy it. Mr. Bond was just very, very pissed-off at having been tricked.

The action sequences were breathtaking, especially the beginning one, with its Bourne Ultimatum-like chase. It also reminded me for some reason of Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon's relentless one-on-one chases, with hero and bad guy(s) able to fly through the air and escape bullets while performing Olympic-calibre body twists. Of course, the sport of spying meant lots of bloody bodies left in Bond's wake. It's interesting to see this other Bond. A pissed-off Bond, it seems, doesn't have the last second smarmy snarky repartee; attack him and you die.

You can actually see the difference by comparing the earlier kills with that of the last scene which was trademark Bond-As-We-Know-In-Later-Movies. Here, no-longer-pissed Bond obligingly released our bad dude in a way that guaranteed a bad ending, with a final very smarmy snarky repartee that included a can of motor oil (you'll understand the significance when you watch the movie).

Like I said, this Bond is different and I like it. It's pre-Bond, so everything that suggested to us of the uber-spy we know held significance. His smooth transition from thug by just wearing a stolen tux. His first taste of a drink for which he didn't have a name. The uber-alpha thing about him that made the women all weak-kneed and willing to help him, in spite of orders to the contrary, as noted by his boss, M, at the end.

I think Bond said this line twice: "I don't think the dead cares about vengeance." He meant it, even though the other characters didn't understand its significance. He wasn't avenging the deaths of the dead because he cared or he was hurting. He was just Pissed-Off. Vengeance is for the living, as demonstrated so effectively by Bond Babe, Camille, in the movie. His superior kept questioning the point of it all, if uber-spies just killed the enemy without any reason. To this Bond, at this moment, if nothing else, it was a quantum of solace, a measure of comfort.

Umm yeah. Enough character study!

Shallow observation: What I don't like about the movie? One nano-sec of a shirtless Bond. ONE! WTF? Solace is fine, but next time, movie-makers, more skin, less tux, por favor. Plus: Fantasies of chewing on Craig's lower lip are mounting. Yes, I said mounting.

Snickeristic Bond Babe Name: Agent Strawberry Fields. Bwahaha.

Alas note: Amy Winehouse should have sang the theme song. Alicia Keyes just didn't exude that world-weary sexuality. The song was horrible, actually.

Bestest scene: Opera house, when Bond interrupted the very unique conversation among some power players AND got them to show their faces. So uber-Alpha, so Bond, so what I lurve about Uber-Spy Tactics ;-).

Last note: The usual Bond and crosshair moving to the Bond music theme sequence didn't show up till the very end of the movie. To me, that signifies the "arrival" of the Bond-that-we-know. So STOP complainin', people. Your usual Bond bonbons are coming.

So, did you see the new Bond movie? Like or not?

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Friday, November 14, 2008

Learning To Hide Pics

I'm testing this. Don't click. Seeing whether I can hide some goodies. Really, don't click. Borrrrrring stuff.

I told you not to click! Tsk! Don't you trust me? ;-) These are just the Australian Rugby Team posing for their Naked For A Cause calendar, nothing interesting!




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Thursday, November 13, 2008

An Uber Fine Story

Sick of watching puppy-fights yet? LOL. Who'd had thunk 8000 people would link to watch 24-hour puppiness?!

I was running around yesterday. Ohe errand involved airport, Homeland Security, handcuffs, humiliation and confinement. Yes, it's an airport story but I'm not in it, thank goodness.

My friend just returned from vacation from Italy. He took one step out of the plane and was greeted by two Homeland Security dudes, with handcuffs in hand. What crime has he committed, you might ask, that would warrant being walked through the airport with his hands secured behind his back, to the cordoned-off criminal investigation area, and subjected to the experience of a CAVITY search?

Well.

Apparently, my friend left the country without paying a ticket for not wearing a life-vest. Apparently, that was a federal offense and a warrant was out for his arrest. So, when he re-entered the country, his name was flagged and the agents summoned. Apparently, he was such a security risk that they patted him down and all over before dumping him to spend quality time among the real felons caught with cocaine and other illegal stuff for EIGHT hours.

Poor friend. We can joke now that he's out free. I told him he should have put on the plane's floatation device on the way out of the plane and insisted that he had his life-vest on all this time, what-do-you-mean? ;-P

You see? Airports adventures aren't just about me.

And oh...next time you travel out of the country? Make sure you've paid your fines.

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Tuesday, November 11, 2008

Post #2: Well, You Know What I've Been Doing ALL DAY

Live Puppy Cam




Online TV Shows by Ustream


Puppiness. Nothing like it.

Shh. They're asleep now.

Click HERE to bookmark.

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And You Get Free Shipping!


Via Smart Bitches, check out THIS BOOK. It's selling for $7790.00 at Amazon.com and various other places. I kid you not.

You see, this is what I need to do with Big Bad Wolf. Sell ten copies and I can relax and not worry about bills for a little bit ;-). You know Amazon takes about 50 percent of that, so really, I need to sell twenty copies.

Heck, my cover would come in a prettier picture. Granted, I won't be giving any instructions on how to build a nuclear power plant, but hey, the contents of my book is just as nuclear-hot!

Read the ten or so reviews. Hilarious.


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Monday, November 10, 2008

The Annual Bugman Incident

Yes, it's that time of year again. I never know when it comes, but it's always just around November and it's always when I'm not thinking about it, and when it does, it's inevitable. It's the annual moment of extreme horror, when Bug Man Meets Crazy Bedraggled Author.

I always forget the day he has to show up and of course, the appointment is always at 8 am, just ripe for a seizure on both sides.

So there I was--hair uncombed, mind un-caffeined, in the middle of one of those "I'm too busy writing to care about looking in the mirror" days. Thank God, I had on yesterday's clothes. Last year, I nearly gave Grandpops Bugman a heart attack by appearing in my garage (which I forgot to close the night before) in my half-buttoned nightshirt and giving him a morning eyeful while trying to cover myself with my little bags of garbage.

This year, with my luck, they sent a young Studly Bugman. I'm imagining Grandpops had a heart attack from last year's incident and simply refused to come back to That Author's place this time. So they sent Studly Bugman, with Bug-Finding Stick and Bug-Instruments.

It's funny how we women authors are. We don't care how we look until some cute guy comes to the door. If I were a male author, freshly woken from a couple of days' of "not caring about personal hygiene because it's my damn weekend," I'm sure my first thought at looking at the manly Studly Bugman wouldn't have been, "ArgKKhhh! My hair! ArgHKKhhh! I stink!"

You have to understand. In the morning, before the Uber Me wakes up, the Entity Known As Me (TEKAM) shuffles around the house like a hunchback on Prozac. TEKAM moans a lot. TEKAM wants to just sit there and let the dogs run free. TEKAM is the one that insists on munching on a few chocolate bars with Hawaiian bread for breakfast because nutrition is whatever tastes good and chocolate tastes good every morning for some reason. Also, TEKAM tends to be monosyllabic and prefers to grunt; even the dogs can hold a better conversation than she.

A quick sneak peak in the bathroom mirror as I followed him around the place confirmed my worst fear. Yes, "it" (the Author) did look like I feared. All I needed was to leer at the poor young boy and cackle with evil glee.

Nervously, he asked questions, shining his flashlight into corners. I grunted--then changed it to a cough--and tried to make full sentences that make sense. Bad Puppy was demanding everyone's attention; he didn't like any male in the house, of course, and especially one who was walking in and out of Mom's closet, complaining up a storm with "why, that's MY playroom, so get the eff out before I pee on your weird-stockinged feet, you Bug Guy. I'm studlier than you. I have four women in this house. Mine, mine, MINE!"

"You have to excuse him, this is his first year of Bugman visit," I told the Studly Bugman, in my crackly, not-quite-human 8am voice, as I limped around behind him, trying desperately to comb the tangles out of my hair when he wasn't looking, and grabbing Bad Puppy whenever he lifted his leg threateningly.

The young Studly Bugman already had that look in his eyes. I could always tell because he kept glancing back at me nervously, probably thinking about Grandpops Bugman's horrific rendition of TEKAM flashing her wizened boobs at him, and you know it had to be a pretty horrendous sight to have given him that heart attack.

I shuffled forward, bending towards him. The Studly Bugman gave a sort of a stuck "eeep" in his throat and looked around in desperation. Relief poured out of him when he realized I was just reaching for the sofa to push it out of his way and since I was still in hunchback mode, I had to bend a LOT more than usual. I'm sure the sight was as frightening as his face was telling me.

Meanwhile, out of the corner of my eye, I spied Bad Puppy lifting his leg because Studly Bugman was standing ON his toys and pillow. I shrieked and leapt forward. Studly Bugman shrieked.

Pandemonium ensued. Much noise. Much apologizing. Much tissueing and touching poor Studly Bugman's pants while he looked at me like I was really the Big Bad Bug. Bad Puppy...well, he was the only happy thing in the room because he made his manly statement and ran off with his toy.

Studly Bugman left with a story about That Author. His initiation at his job was now complete. I've done my part in his training and I feel the Bug People should pay me or give me a discount.

Now, where's the coffee? I really need to comb my hair....



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Sunday, November 09, 2008

Update and Thanks

I want to thank everyone for their prayers and good thoughts for my brother, who recently had brain surgery. He's woken up and is alert. We're all very relieved here.

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Saturday, November 08, 2008

Post #2: Making A List

No, not that Santa list ;-).

Since my agent is sending out Grace Happens, I'm curious now about romantic suspense titles that were published/that you read in 2008. I want to make a list and then do some research.

If you could add to it, I'd be grateful. I'll update the post with the titles you posted.

Off the top of my head, I have:

Anne Stuart's Fire and Ice
Linda Howard's Death Angel
Lora Leigh's Killer Secrets
Cindy Gerard's Show No Mercy

all of which I have on my shelf ;-). What do you have for me? I think it'd be interesting to see what everyone else is reading in my genre.

EDITED TO ADD OTHERS FROM COMMENTS:

Katherine Dante's Dreamwalker
Nora Robert's Tribute
Suzanne Brockmann's Into The Fire
Karen Rose's Scream For Me
Marliss Melton's Don't Let Go
Roxanne St. Clair's Bullet Catcher series (3 books)
Debra Webb's Faceless
Samantha Grave's Sight Unseen
JoAnn Ross' Crossfire
Shannon Butcher's No Escape
Allison Brennan's Playing Dead
Laura Griffin's Thread of Fear
Brenda Novak's Stop Me
Tara Janzen's Loose and Easy
Christina Skye's To Catch A Thief
J.D. Robb's In Death series (two books a year; also futuristic)
Cherry Adair's Night Trilogy (series)
Beverly Barton's Cold Hearted
Nora Robert's High Noon

For those not familiar with the genre definition, by romantic suspense, the story must have strong romantic elements between a couple, with a happy ending. Unless, of course, it's a series, in which case they are working towards a happy ending. For example, much as I enjoy Vince Flynn's super operative, Mitch, his books aren't RS.

Trying to remember: Did Nora Roberts write a romantic suspense this year? I have the paranormal trilogy....

EDITED TO ASK: Do many of you still consider Kay Hooper, Catherine Coulter and Sandra Brown's books as romantic suspense? Because, imho, Kay Hooper writes suspense now, not RS.

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The Singing Roofer

Did you know there is a Singing Roofer on Youtube? ;-)

I figure he should be showcased on the Writing Roofer's blog. LOL.



Yes, girls, here's the Roofing Archuleta. Just type in singing roofer and hear all three of his songs, even right there one on the roof.

What would we get next from these roofers, I just don't know. Nursing Roofer? Nah.

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Friday, November 07, 2008

Don't Do This Near Roofs

Do not use blowtorch to clean roof eaves.

Really. Not a good idea. This dude looked at the cobwebs up there and thought, "Hey, a blowtorch would work!" And then...yeah, fire. I kid you not.

Sometimes, when the tar is really, really hardened, and we have to get the shingles off without destroying them, we use a heat gun. It looks like a little hairdryer. Not a blowtorch.

Still, one must be extra careful. One of my workers, in the heat of summer, once thought he could melt the tar faster by putting the gun right against the tar and heating it non-stop for five minutes. Yeah, you guessed it. Sparks flew.

Sometimes we do things without thinking, out of habit for quick results. I used to pull my toast stuck in my old toaster with my fork. Yes, I know. I really did it. Stuck my fork into the thing and wiggled around. NUMEROUS TIMES. It took ONE TIME to remember why I shouldn't touch metal to live-wired machinery still connected to electricity. Guess which time. :-)

That's why writing is good for me. I can't hurry the process, can't "get" the toast quickly. If I engage in "lazy writing," I get burned too, although the probability of it being fatal is a lot less.

Have you ever done anything dangerous without thinking/out of habit?

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Wednesday, November 05, 2008

Post #2: RIP Michael Crichton

I just learned that Michael Crichton died today. He was one of the first SF authors I read. The book was The Andromeda Strain. The story was scary and it made me think about alternative worlds and unseen things besides the ghoulies and myths that my culture preferred. Crichton was, of course, made famous by Jurassic Park and writing the book that inspired E.R., the groundbreaking TV show.

In writecraft, I learned from him that you can take a piece of scientific reality and twist it into something unbelievable but plausible, such as dinasaurs being bred on an island in modern times. His stories influenced and gave me the courage to play with the quantum concepts of virtual entanglement and "spooky" action in relation to the fated-mate romance trope. There was just enough of a "why not" attitude in his style that appealed to my imagination.

So farewell and rest in peace, Mr. Crichton. Thanks for the great reads.



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Ze Planets Tell Ze Story

Saturn (Business as usual) in exact opposition to Uranus (change) Nov. 4, 2008. I kiddeth you not.

Yeah, you like the astrology stuff. But what does it mean, Jenn?






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Tuesday, November 04, 2008

Uber Landmark

Records are being made at the poll today. And to add historical significance to this very important event, we broke some records at this here blog the last fortnight too.

The number of visitors to A Low Profile have grown quite a bit the last couple of weeks because of the free ebook. I wish to thank everyone who has linked to or told their friends about it. Many also came looking at different eye-candy pics and funny/odd stories (you'll be amazed at how many came looking at the Sexy Veges!) and have stayed on to check out Chapter One and then continued on to buy Virtually His new through my links.

I really, really appreciate that.

There is nothing like word-of-mouth and publicity through readers. And the eye candy helped sometimes ;-). See, I told you they were my uber-assistants.

My Grace proposal should be out in the world this week. If you read BBW, it's the story of the younger secondary character all grown up. If you read my past books, you'll know that she's a certain someone's daughter. Cross your fingers for me, 'kay?

Now, let's watch history in the making in the other world, you know, the one that every news channel is focused on today. Dang, look at all those long lines. They should have brought a book to read today!



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Monday, November 03, 2008

For Those On The Cow Fence

Are there really any of you out there? But okay, if you're sitting on that fence, having a good country cuppa, and watching the cows being herded, do you see that yonder there are extra cows wandering around in the pasture? Well, maybe you might go for one of these cow bells instead:

LIBERTARIAN
You have two cows. You do what you want.

BOSTON TEA PARTY (formed by Libertarian not happy with Libertarian Party)
You have two cows. Go away. What I do with my cow is none of your business.

CONSTITUTION PARTY
You have two cows. One has actually read the constitution, believes in it, and has some really good ideas about government. The cow runs for office, and while most people agree that the cow is the best candidate, nobody except the other cow votes for her because they think it would be "throwing their vote away."

GREEN PARTY
(Me: Did you know there are TWO OTHER women running for President and VP?)
You have two cows. The government bans you from milking them. "Save the cow, save the world."

AMERICAN INDEPENDENT PARTY
You have two cows. But which cow is The One? You ask the cows. They moo-ed.
INDEPENDENT-ECOLOGY/NATURAL LAW PARTY
You have two cows. Forget them. It's all about Ralph Nader.

PROHIBITION PARTY
(There really is still one)
You have two cows. That is a sin.

REFORM PARTY
You have two cows. They'd better not be from Mexico. Or China. Or India. What is wrong with homegrown cows?

There you have it...some of the above is just my take. If you're interested in learning the names and checking out these candidates, here is a site with ALL the 2008 Presidential Candidates, write-ins and all.

Happy Cow-belling.

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Sunday, November 02, 2008

Sunday Dark Hero

Holy Bond!

I love him even more now that they show him when he was dark and angsty, full of anger. None of that Smooth Bond Act yet...just edgy and a bit out of control. I can't wait! Even though the title is a mouthful: Quantum of Solace.



Must make time to see. You guys plannin' to go?

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Saturday, November 01, 2008

Different Kinds of Candy

I hope you guys had a great Halloween! Jiggle Low and I sure did ;-). Taking along my box of Halloween party stuff, I took him over to a neighbor's house and we parked ourselves in the porch and had a grand time being kids.

My neighbor had her doggies dressed up too and her SO set up the table with our goodies and toys. One of the gadgets I brought over was my crawling hand, that would move across a surface when a button was pushed. Then there was Jiggle Low with his funny glowing skeleton suit. The kids loved that, esp. when I shone the ghost light on him and he kind of looked pinkish.

Anyway, the best part was the kids, of course. This was their time and I enjoyed watching them as they went from house to house with their bags and pillowcases. It's funny how different their reactions were, too.

Some of the kiddies screamed when they saw the crawling hands. Then there was one who cracked me up. He was just so "Operation Candy" about it. When the hand bothered his feet, he calmly stepped on it to hold it down and took his time adding stuff from the candy bowl into his bag! Now, that had me laughing. A kid with total focus, that one! Then there was the kid that started throwing candy at Jiggy and of course, he was in heaven, since I never gave him candy before.

The adults had their own magic potion to share and we were all in a cheerful mood when we started talking about books (my friend's SO love to read). I told them how my shelves were toppling over from the overload and it just so happened that one of their friends was trying to get rid of a bookcase.

So it was Halloween night, the kids were filled with candy, and the adults had their potion fun, and now I had a new bookcase. My neighbors came over to help me put it together and the whole evening ended up with us playing with books. As you know, when booklovers get together, it's just not about the bookcase for too long! I got my friend interested enough that he took a few romantic suspenses home to try out: the ever sure-bet JD Robb, a couple of Suzanne Brockmanns, Cindy Gerard, and he wanted to try a historical because I told him they were more than just "bodices" and "pirates," so I gave him Joanna Bourne's "The Spymaster's Lady."

Loaded down, he went home smiling. Books are like candy for some of us, you know!

If a curious male friend asks you to recommend a historical romance that is not too "gooey," what would you pick from your own Keeper Shelf?

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DAILY DOSE OF CUTE PUPPINESS

Send My Publisher A Nudge