When Your Vajayjay Is Falling Out...

I have no words for this story. When I read it, my first reaction was OW! and as this woman's ordeal continued, it became OMG, and then just silent grimacing while crossing my legs. I don't suppose it ever occur to anyone that one's vagina could fall out of one's body, right?

Well, read on:

My Bits Fell Out!

She mentioned that she didn't go to the doctor for years because she was busy with her newborn and her other young child. I guess there was no romance, no intimate nookie with her husband that might have...umm...made her discovery sooner? I do understand how being a young parent with two kids could take up one's whole life, with no time for romance like the old days, but still, I'm left wondering the obvious. Husband--were you blind for a year too?!

Other than that, this woman now has a brand new vajayjay. I cracked up at the "of a thirteen year-old virgin" part. Um. What does a thirteen year-old virgin's...never mind. Not going there.

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Post #2: Marriott Hotel, You're Full Of Fail

Woman was sexually assaulted at the Marriott's parking garage while STRAPPING HER CHILDREN into their carseats. She sued the hotel for security's failure to note of the perp's loitering in the hotel area. Marriott's defense? Woman "failed to exercise due care for her own safety and the safety of her children."

CONN Marriott Claims Rape Victim Was Careless And Negligent

So, yeah, it's really her fault since she was busy taking care of her kids. And how dare you bend over like that?

Words fail me. Marriott lawyers = morons.

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Sunday World Dick News

I don't know but these kinds of "romances" sound extremely painful. The first story is about an Egyptian man who cut off his penis because his parents won't let him marry the woman of his choice. Ouch. So much for love, and now would his beloved still want him?

The second has to do with a Singaporean secretary and her boss. In a parked car. She ended up with a mouthful.

If you read the small article following this piece, about an air stewardess' memoir about her "sexual escapades in the sky," don't you think that blurb is sort of deceptive when, in the following paragraphs, she claimed she said NO to all of them? What kind of sexual escapades in the sky could have happened if NOTHING happened? And would that book be about two pages long?

Sort of like:

He asked me to have sex with him. I said no. Then another guy during another flight asked me for sex. I told him no. So, next flight, another man, this time a really tall and handsome one, asked me for a sexual encounter. I paused because I was really tempted, but then I also said no. The next one was easy. He was eighty years old. I said no to him immediately, without any thinking at all.... :-/

And then there is this rich British kid and the giant penis big enough to be seen on Google Earth that he drew on the roof of his parents' one million-pound mansion. Clearly this TOPS it all. And it's certainly giving this rooferauthor ideas.... ;-P

Kind of lovely to look at from space, isn't it? Rich kids have all the fun!

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This Could Be One Of Those Stories...

I hear while my eyes are closed. The man was sent to prison for doing his thang with a car wash vacuum cleaner.

Visit msnbc.com for Breaking News, World News, and News about the Economy

Seriously, a vacuum cleaner? I like the commentary at the end of the news item, with the suggestions for other, more powerful vacuum cleaners ;-).

But the scary part is, I can see one of the guys I listen to in the morning actually telling this "adventure" and every one of them borrowing quarters to go try it out.

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An Uber Fine Story

Sick of watching puppy-fights yet? LOL. Who'd had thunk 8000 people would link to watch 24-hour puppiness?!

I was running around yesterday. Ohe errand involved airport, Homeland Security, handcuffs, humiliation and confinement. Yes, it's an airport story but I'm not in it, thank goodness.

My friend just returned from vacation from Italy. He took one step out of the plane and was greeted by two Homeland Security dudes, with handcuffs in hand. What crime has he committed, you might ask, that would warrant being walked through the airport with his hands secured behind his back, to the cordoned-off criminal investigation area, and subjected to the experience of a CAVITY search?

Well.

Apparently, my friend left the country without paying a ticket for not wearing a life-vest. Apparently, that was a federal offense and a warrant was out for his arrest. So, when he re-entered the country, his name was flagged and the agents summoned. Apparently, he was such a security risk that they patted him down and all over before dumping him to spend quality time among the real felons caught with cocaine and other illegal stuff for EIGHT hours.

Poor friend. We can joke now that he's out free. I told him he should have put on the plane's floatation device on the way out of the plane and insisted that he had his life-vest on all this time, what-do-you-mean? ;-P

You see? Airports adventures aren't just about me.

And oh...next time you travel out of the country? Make sure you've paid your fines.

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