A LOW PROFILE: having fun

Showing posts with label having fun. Show all posts

Wednesday, May 12, 2010

Romantic Times Convention Slide Show

Here are some of my Romantic Times Convention photos. Hope you enjoy them. You have to be there to see everything ;-). I'll try to get a picture of my loot when I get the chance to unpack the bags! In the photos are, not in any order, Ann Voss Peterson, Cindy Gerard, Victoria Dahl, E. Paul Wilson, Barry Eisler, J. A. Konrath, Kathy Love, John Scalzi, and many more.

Click to play this Smilebox slideshow: 2010 RT Trip

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Friday, April 30, 2010

Overheard at RT: A man mumbled, "OMG I'm buying a drink for a man in wings."

I had a great time at the Faery Ball. I was wearing a wig and had my little shifter tail on too. But for some reason, my wig kept getting snagged by wings and waving hands of dancers all night and by the time I was sitting at the bar with my gang, I looked quite strange. I told people staring at me not to worry, as I was just shapeshifting.

I wrote a post about my Bond James Bond workshop at the RT BLOG. Do click on the link and check it.

Sat on Cindy Gerard's panel. Shared a drink with the wonderful Brenda Jackson. Talked non-stop with a great group of readers who had a bunch of questions.

Dropped by at a John Scalzi's table when he was here to do a signing. As always, he was amusing, gracious, and absolutely funny. I always have a great time when he's around.

Whew. I was so pooped that I needed an hour to recuperate. Then it was off to the Faery Ball (video above). I took some great photos of authors and readers glammed up as the fey. While you're patiently waiting for me to get home to resize them, check out the embedded video of the costume contest.

I didn't get back into my room till 2.45am! You know my body is protesting right now.

Thursday, April 29, 2010

Overheard at RT: Barry Eisler growled out, "Down on your knees."

So here I am at RT again, having a wonderful time mingling around my kind of people--readers who love romance and all its different sub-genres.

My morning panel. "Bond James Bond," went well. Everyone had a good time and I was invited to blog about it at the RT blog, so more details about that as soon as I get it done. My panelists were Barry Eisler, Robert Gregory Browne, Andrew Peterson, and Julie Kramer, every one of them a unique writer of the romance/suspense/thriller genre. They gave great insight about writing that character that stands out and POV from a killer mind-set. If you haven't checked their books out, I do recommend them because really, I was quite in awe after listening to their backgrounds and experiences. All of us write about assassins, killers, snipers, and the people who love them.

I went to Jennifer St. Giles' and Barry Eisler's panel which kept its promise that it'd be unforgettable. They read sex scenes from male and female writers after which the audience guessed and then gave reasons why. Well. Let me tell you that Barry Eisler has a sexay reading voice, and if you weren't there, you won't soon forget the way he put on that cowboy twang and growled out, "Down on your knees" from Victoria Dahl's sex scene. There was much giggling, but brave Barry masterfully kept right on ;-).

The discussion that followed was very interesting, with over 90 % of the audience being right at guessing the gender of the writer of each excerpt. Word choices, body positions, and aracter POV focus all gave clues, and there was much laughter again when a reader yelled out, "A woman would never write "he touched her pubic mound."" Barry nodded. "No pubic mound," he said, then, after a pause, he added, "I can't believe I used the word "pubic mound" in public."

I was much entertained.

I also spent a lot of time hugging people. Quick count of friends I've been eating, drinking, and chatting with: Brenda Jackson, Lauren Dane, Cindy Gerard, Cheyenne McCray, Shiloh Walker, Heather Graham, Mary Stella, Kathy Love, so many, many more, and this is still early afternoon, and I still had to attend some publisher spotlights and author get-togethers!

By evening, I was ready to fall on my face, but nope, the Ellora's Cave Fantasy Ball was on. This year's theme was "your sexiest red dress." Everyone looked fabulous, showing some red. I danced my feet off with Lauren Dane, Ann Aguirre, Anya Bast, Megan Hart, Cindy Gerard, and Victoria Dahl. Then, after a few drinks, I headed back to my room because my old bones were threatening war in the morning if I don't get off my feet.

Yes, yes, I left all those pretty male models behind in favor of bed. I must be getting old.

P/S Pictures when I get time to resize them. Solly.

Sunday, July 19, 2009

RWA Quote of the Night: "I Can Give Ten Orgasms Too."

Since it's going to take me a few days to reach home (stopping at sis' place and a leisurely drive home), I'll be uploading photos haphazardly and out of sequence. It's hard to find time to resize the photos while my nieces are around! ;-)

The grounds at the Marriott Wardman-Park Hotel are very beautiful. This is part of a glorious landscape that you could view from your window or while walking down to Connecticut Av. to catch the metro. Of course, many of us were wandering the hotel in between workshops and book signings and barely made it out into the sunshine.

And oh, yeah, the bar. It was very, very popular. I bumped into many editors and agents in between drinks and managed to exchange a card or two.

Quick bar story: There were some Marines staying at the hotel/hanging out at the bar. I heard quite a bit about them, and obviously, they quickly figured out from the attendees what those books they toted all over the hotel were all about. One of them said to a pretty romance reader, an earnest look on his face, "I can give ten orgasms too."

Heehee. Nope, I didn't, so you can scrub those naughty thoughts out of your head. I was too busy sleeping with someone else:

And yes, I'd go bi- for RITA. She was heavy, much heavier than I thought she would be, and laid in my arms all night till Cindy Gerard snatched her earlier this morning to take her home, sniff. That Cindy is such an insensitive, stingy bi-otch.

Finally, after saying goodbye to all, and sharing a delicious lunch with Rosemary Potter, the Bookseller of the Year (all the way from Australia!!!), I waved goodbye and drove off in my carful of books.

More pictures coming...but I need to decompress!

Saturday, July 18, 2009

RWA Quote of the Day: "My feet are killing me"

I'm still recovering from yesterday, especially last night. Who knew dancing all night like that would hurt a roofer's thighs? I must remember NOT to do that split again...;-)

Tonight is the gala so many of the authors will be taking it a bit easier during the day, but there are still workshops and booksignings for the brave and willing. I spotted Jim and Sharon Butcher and got some books. I squeed when I caught Joanna Bourne alone for a few minutes. I pouted because Ann Aguirre ran out of books. I am also totally knocked over when attendees came up to me and told me they were impressed with my moderating skillz. That caught me by surprise. First, most of the time, one remembers the workshop, not the moderator. Second, I always think I suck at public speaking. Must have gotten better at it since my first disaster when I announced a workshop as "The UNconscious Writer" instead of the "The SUBconscious Writer." LOL. Man. Yeah, that one was embarrassing.

I know. I'm babbling and no pics. I'll download those later, when my feet stop hurting. I kept telling myself that I really should go downtown to DC to look at the White House, which I heard was kind of an important place. But my feet. They not happy. They're bitching. And, there's an opening at the spa for a massage. It's such a tough, tough decision. Spa...White House...pamperation...walkwalkwalkathon...work on my foot...more footwork. I just don't know.

Anyway, last night was super fun, even though no trees fell on any romance authors. The Conga Line started early and then everyone did Thriller. Like the deejay yelled out, "Show your claws!" We romance authors knew how to do zombie very well, it seemed.

I rubbed shoulders with La Nora, Jacquie D'Alessandro, Jill St. John, Kylie Brant, Liz Maverick, and so many others. I laughed so hard at Jade Lee leading the Time Warp I fell off my perch by the bar. I was also part of the Hair Brigade with agent Lucienne Diver, who could shake and swing her hair better than Cher in her heyday.

Okay, trudging around the White House is looking less and less attractive.

Thursday, July 16, 2009

RWA Quote of the Week: Cows Are The Devil's Handmaidens

Hee. Moooo.

That's a classic quote straight from Linda Howard's keynote speech at lunch. It sums up La Linda's great sense of humor and her ability to tell a great a story. She had the whole luncheon crowd guffawing at her anecdotes about her family, whom she called "nuts." Basically, her message is about "hanging on out there," even during nutty times in your life. I can only wish for the same funny outlook in life to keep me going during my times of frustration ;-). Now, if only I could write a story around that wonderful title....

If you are in the DC area and want to take a little side trip, be sure to take one to Monticello, home of Thomas Jefferson. It's a 7000 acre estate and visiting it gives one a sense of history and an intimate inside look at one of our founding fathers. It's also a beautiful place, like stepping into the world of Gone With The Wind's Tara, and it made the writer in me want to try her hand at a historical suspense.

That Jefferson dude was six foot two. He was kinda smart. Owned a big estate. Great sense of humor. Hmm. Good romance hero stock ;-).

Back at RWA, everything is in full swing. Authors, authors, everywhere. Editors and agents too. I was able to bump into my former editor from MIRA books to give her a hug (I really enjoyed working with her and am relieved that we're still friends), connect with some other editors, and basically network with people in the business. Gossip, advice, pointers in abundance. Romance authors are the most generous writers in the world and I'm so fortunate to have such good friends.

A friend's daughter, Emily, posing with Cindy Gerard and me.

Sylvia Day, Cindy Gerard, and Kylie Brant happily networking ;-).

Lauren Dane and Ann Aguirre laughing it up.

The always-angelic Victoria Dahl.

The impeccable Alison Hart and the irrepressible Goddess Anne Stuart (ck out the little horns on her head)

Off I go to ck out some workshops and signings. Need I also say: BOOKS, BOOKS, EVERYWHERE?!

Monday, July 13, 2009

Road to RWA Part Two

The rest of the drive was marred with rain and road work/slow traffic. The radio was a good friend. Virginia was exactly how I remembered the last time I drove through. And I only made one bad turn in DC itself, around that circle that reminded one of the Chevy Chase "Vacation" movies. The hotel is just off Connecticut Av., so quite near to the heart of DC.

Finally I am here at RWA, tired and eagerly looking forward to the hotel room. Then I found out that parking at the hotel wasn't free! $35 freaking dollars a day! Gah. So, tomorrow, I've to look for a cheaper parking lot because man, $35/day?!

My roomies were already here and we went to dinner at an Indian restaurant nearby. As you can see below, we nourished ourselves with some Indian Drinks called Maga Reethas, an ancient delicious brew that tastes tangy and heady.

We chatted and giggled and bantered and generally made a lot of noise. The food was delish too.

Catching up with writing friends is one of the best things at RWA. Tonight is still the quiet before the storm. The 2000+ attendees aren't storming the place yet. Tomorrow the noise begins. Watch out, DC!

And oh, I need a foot and butt massage. All that driving is just not normal for a roofer girl.

(Hey, those of you who are meeting me before the signing on Weds., we're having drinks at the lobby bar and I'll be holding an informal signing there too for BBW. See you there!)

Road to RWA Part One

A hundred miles, a hundred miles, a hundred miles, a hundred miles...

I wonder why that particular earworm always invade my head when I'm driving a long ways. Never fails. I'll hum that song even with the radio blasting.

The drive today was fabulous. Not too much traffic, cops in good mood, and great weather. The GLow Mobile happily sped toward DC, stopping a couple of times for refreshments. The strangest sight was this place that had a thousand billboards advertising it for miles and miles: South of the Border. It was dark when I saw it, lit up like a fair, a giant sombrero right in the middle, like a Ferris Wheel, with firework stalls in the back. I pulled in to get gas and there were only two or three other cars there; the whole place was EMPTY. It was the eeriest thing, standing there filling up my car in this bright, BRIGHT place with no one around.

I'm going to call Fayetteville (or half an hour outside it) the Billboard City from now on. If you ever drive here, you'll see what I mean. Both sides of the highway have billboards thirty feet high, facing both directions, and after miles of trees and sky, it's really very Vegas-like, even down to the ads that scream out 24-hour topless cafes (Cafes?! As in, order a latte from the EEE-cup waitress? Do they offer free Internet? Heh).

Fayetteville is also where Fort Bragg is, as well as some Civil War historical battlefields and museums, so I'm quite tempted to dawdle here for a few hours before resuming my drive to DC. It'd be great research for Viking Dude, don't you think? ;-) A time traveler like him should know a lot about Civil War facts.... As you know, Fort Bragg is home of the Airborne and Special Ops. Corp. I feel I should at least do a drive by ;-). Jed and Killian would approve.

'Kay, Part One ends here. Oh, one more thing. Best billboard sign ever: EXIT HERE (you can get) BRASSIERES TO CHANDELIERS. I don't know why that struck my funny bone. I had coffee all over my steering wheel. Truly, laughing like that while driving alone isn't normal.

REMINDER: You can still ask questions about VHERS in the post, So Many Chores, below.

Tuesday, May 05, 2009

RT: Yes, I Mushed A Spartan's Package

This is the infamous party hosted by Deidre Knight, who was promoting her Midnight Warriors series. She had a very memorable way of making us remember her heros ;-).

First, the Spartan Warriors gathered, proclaiming their need for maidens to break a long-awaited curse. Or something like that. I don't know, many of us were just staring at the skirts.

The game began. The warriors sat in their chairs as the maidens started to dance around them, sizing their warrior strength ;-).

Everyone jumped onto the warriors as the music stopped. One maiden is left without a warrior and is sacrificed to the dragon (I made that up). Then one Spartan warrior became free from his captivity and he ran off with his maiden.

Below, I became overzealous in my quest to win the game and literally squashed on top of a Spartan. He went, "Oooooooofffphfff." I turned to him and said, "I'm sorry, did I mush your package?" "No," he replied, but his voice was a bit higher than usual, I thought.

As you can see, my new editor was a bit more lady-like in her warrior seat.

I did quite well, ~~sampling~~saving many warrior seats.

I didn't win, but I thought it was quite a fun game ;-). Sometimes it's fun to have no shame. Hey, I'm an old lady. Cute young seats are hard to find! Heh. The above young Warrior went on to become Mr. Romance 2009.

This one below--I don't know--Alpha Male thinks I was smiling a bit too cheekily because my hand was too near the guy's thigh or something. Tsk. He has such a overworked imagination! *eg*

Wednesday, December 31, 2008

Oprah, This Is For You

Here is an amusing article:

http://gawker.com/5119868/oprah-winfreys-liars-club

If you haven't heard, Oprah's recent picks of sad autobiographies have hilariously turned out to be all lies, from Frey's recovering druggie to the Holocaust runaway who was reared by wolves to the latest, a Holocaust survivor who claimed to have met his wife at the fence of one of the camps. Every one of these writers were praised by Oprah and recommended by her reading club, and thus, shot up in the bestselling lists.

I hope Oprah won't give up on memoirs. Because I'm writing one. Here's a short synopsis of my book, tentatively titled Every Little Step:

When I was a little girl, I ran away from my brutal stepfather who planned to sell me to this older man who already had eleven wives. I was determined not to be the twelfth. So I escaped on foot from the family castle. Unfortunately, in those days, I still bound my feet.

Oh, the pain of running in bound feet! Every step was torture, like big iron tongs burning my three-inch stumps. Only the thought of my future husband, the evil Wascally Wang, and the knowledge that he'd surely subjugate me as his property, made me hobble along even faster.

I made my way through the Malaysian jungles, which were filled with thorny bushes that cut into my bound feet, right through my bindings and bloodying my tender mishappened flesh underneath. My brutal stepfather's minions was coming from the left. I could hear my evil betrothal's servants coming from the right. I was trapped!

Then two giant dodobirds appeared from nowhere! One took the horde on the left; the other went after the one on the right. It turned out, my saviors were the last two surviving dodobirds in the universe. They were females and knew they were the last of their kind. Because of my injuries--my poor bound feet were ripped to shreds--they took me to their dodonest, hidden among the deep thorny forest, and adopted me.

I found that dodobird saliva had special healing powers and I spent years soaking my three-inch deformed pancakes that I called feet in that special slimey juice. It smelled bad, but I got used to it. My dodobird mamas lovingly took care of me. When I was finally able to look at my feet again, lo and behold! Miracle of miracles, I had normal human feet!

To my sad horror, my dodobird mamas were disgusted at the sight because they'd thought they'd saved a dodobird, since dodobirds walked funny. Like the way I used to. But I no longer do. I walked and skipped like a normal human being and they were disgusted.

My heart broke when they cast me aside. I had to wander off alone. I hitched a ride on a rhinoceros out of the forest. After many years, I saved enough money to go to the United States to look for freedom because you know, everyone was free there. I paid off a pirate and he exported me as a cheap computer part. That was tough but not as bad as having bound feet.

Today, I can safely say I stand here strong and independent--the innovative owner of an import/export company of rare medicinal dodobird spit--and very proud of each and every one of my feat.

What? It's a tearjerker, come on! Surely Oprah would love it because it's a story about feminism and strong females against the world and winning. Come on! No cackling over there! I'm sitting here waiting for my six-figure advance.

Friday, November 21, 2008

Your Uber Opinions, Please

Hey, here is my fun project about to be let loose in the wild world of POD publishing. So many of you have emailed me for a "printed book" version of Big Bad Wolf so your non-computer mom/aunt/relative can read the story too and so you can add a book to your GLow collection, that I looked into various options available. I think I found one that wouldn't cost an arm and a leg (under $10, I'm hoping).

Since Nathan Kamp is out of my pocket-league, I have three covers here that I have picked from stock. I haven't bought them yet since nothing is finaled. There were some awfully sexy ones in jeans and all but I thought I'd tone it down with just a good-looking face. Which one appeals to you? You can click on the first two pics so they open "bigger." The first and third look similar but one of them has a female silhouette behind the title, floating above him.

(Ignore the watermarks. I didn't buy the converter program or the pics yet)

The following two were verrrrrra pretty, but I figured too much for romantic suspense??? But I'm adding them here for your gratuitous enjoyment ;-).

NONPICK 1: He's got an outie!

NONPICK 2: There's a roof behind him! ;-)

Your feedback is much appreciated since this is my Fun Project. Everything is almost ready to go! Just need a good commercial cover and once I pay for it, etc...yes, you can buy the book for Christmas at Amazon! Yeeha.

Wednesday, August 06, 2008

RWA 2008: An Uber Pictorial Story

Last week, I went on a fantastic journey.

We sat on a magical chair.

As we approached the magical place,

magical beings suddenly appeared.

They weren't afraid of us at all. One of them gave us the secret password, which transported us to the heart of the island, with beautiful houses...

We were met with many women (and a few men), who were called Huntresses. They were the eternal keepers of the Happy Ever After.

I bowed at the altar of The Goddess, the queen of many HEA, the sacred Black Ferret Keeper, and the creator of Roarke, the Man of All Future Men.

After that, I got to meet many favorite magical beings, the ones who could transport people to far away places with just words:

The fabulous and inimitable Jade Lee, the Queen of Tantric Sex and Special Massages.

The fabulous Meljean Brook who was laughing here with me because Joanna Bourne took a picture of her own face by mistake when she was pointing the camera the wrong way. Meljean writes epic paranormals--layered, deep, powerful--and her covers are to die for. Besides Marjorie Liu, she is the other woman I want to assassinate.

Speaking of the Tall One, my photo with her didn't come out and she flew off to THE OLYMPICS before I could get her to smile with me again. So if you're reading this, Marjorie Liu, not only do I want to kill you for being in China without me (again), but I also want the photo of us taken with your special $5,000,000 camera.

This is Joanna Bourne, who was so gracious even when I laughed at her, and whose unexpected close-up will be kept in my secret file for later in her career, when she runs for office or something. Oh yes ;-). Joanna writes stand-out historicals that just make me reread again and again. Her heroines are unique. Her heros are alphas. And...not one reference to the "ton" to boot!

Kylie Brant and I go way back. She's quiet but lethal. Reserved but dangerous. And she has a weakness for anything green. Kylie writes romantic suspense and I love her sexy style.

This group of ladies belong to a sect called The Kiss Of Death. Yes, we worship the Big Lips. We adore the Big Lips. Every year, we pay homage to the Big Lips. The priestesses of the KOD sect safeguard the secrets of suspense and intrigue; we can kill with mere words. Ann Voss Peterson, standing by me, can maim with her dancing moves alone. Every year, the KOD priestesses duel each other for the most powerful of all amulets, the Daphne du Maurier Amulet. The price is wanted by us all, but there can only be one left standing. This year, the honor went to Nina Bruhns.

Ah well. The only way to console a loss of the Amulet (again) is to attend the Party of the Year. It's hosted by the House of Harlequin, where many, many magical writing beings have started their career and flourished. I immediately headed off to the food table, where I stopped to admire the orchid ornament before devouring Chinese Dim Sum. Notice my loose gown so I could fit all the calorie intake.

At the Harlequin party, I danced the night away with friends. Below are special people with other magical powers. They are the Reviewers and Booksellers, two groups of magic-wielders who love to drink the elixir of Romance. They also came from many different lands.

I love Michelle Buonfiglio, that sexy, glossed-up and bewitching witch from Romance B(u)y The Book. Michelle can make me laugh by just giving me a look. Also, she gets the best interviews, so that's why I stick close by her. Michelle also promised me her daughter.

Kris Alice is from Germany. Rosemary Potter is from Australia. They are two of my closest friends in the writing world. It's amazing how a small conference brought people from so many countries together in one spot.

This is Olivia Gates, who is from Egypt. She won, hands down, for best-dressed woman at the RWA Island Resort.

Sylvia Day and Jordan Summers were there too. We joked about trying to wake up in the mornings.

And that's all folks. These are two very important icons of the Romance World--Miss Jane Austen (that little purse behind her is mine) and William Shakespeare. My friends and I gave them a toast before the last of the magic disappeared, and I was transformed from this:

back to this the next day:

Ah, well. It was so much fun while it lasted.

Wednesday, June 04, 2008

Play Scramble With Silly Jenn

With apologies to Kresley Cole, whose LORE series I love, love, love.

Because of her tongue-twisty titles, I jumbled all the words of her titles and came up with suggestions for her future books. I'm sure she'll find some of these suggestions very useful :-D.

Her four books, with their REAL titles are:

A HUNGER LIKE NO OTHER
NO REST FOR THE WICKED
WICKED DEEDS ON A WINTER'S NIGHT
DARK NEEDS AT NIGHT'S EDGE
DARK DESIRES AFTER DUSK

**********************
Here are my creations for future LORE titles:

No Other Wicked Deeds On A Dark Night After Dusk

A Hunger After Dark Desires For Wicked Deeds

No Rest After Dark Like Dark Wicked Desires

Wicked Rest Wicked Hunger Wicked Desires

A Wicked Desire For The Hunger's Edge After Dusk

Wicked Dusk Needs Winter's Desire After Dark

A Dark Edge At Wicked Night Like No Other Rest

Rest On A Wicked Other Winter's Dark Dusk

No Other Dark Edge On A Night's Night Like A Hunger

Dark Dusk After A Hunger On No Rest At Dusk's Edge

**************
Heehee.

Kresley's gonna kill me.

But them be great books and she can use all my titles for the sequels! ;-) Now you can join me by making some new titles for Kresley's books. I'm sure you'll come up with good ones.

Thursday, February 28, 2008

Post #2: Fun Question

When we write, we sort of roleplay in our heads. What would our character say in this situation? What would they do in that?

So, roleplaying with American Idol, IF you were a contender on Idol these last two weeks, what songs would YOU pick to sing? Why?

The themes were 60s and 70s music.

I'll go first. If I could sing and if I were crazy enough to be on stage like that, I would pick...

UNCHAIN MY HEART for the 60s song. This was originally sung by Ray Charles but I'd do it like the Joe Cocker version. Rock it out!

I choose it because it's contemporary (doesn't sound stuck in the sixties), got a bluesy rock feel, and there are part a singer can change the arrangement to show off his/her vocals.

For the 70s song...RING MY BELL by Anita Ward. HAHAHAHAHAHA. Just kidding. I would do it just for the look on Simon's face. Hahahahahahhaha. Okay, hmm. This is a hard one because most of my favorite songs are done by males in the 70s and some wouldn't work in this contest.

I think I'd go with Carole King's IT'S TOO LATE. It's also more contemporary sounding than You're So Vain, IMHO, esp. with the beginning piano chords. Anyway, I had always liked the bongo drums in the background. It would also go with the 60s song choice in the bluesy way, since Simon and Randy are always harping about finding and establishing an image and "stand out."

Not that I can sing, but I have several great buddies who can karaoke their asses off :::ahemLeiha::: ahemSuahem::: :::coughLaurencough::: so I think it's be fun to hear their song choices as well as yours. Come on, what would be your strategy, eh?

Tuesday, November 06, 2007

Uber Alpha Men Just Can't

I love me my Alphas. I really do. And they are my source of humor.

Trust me, they are a funny, funny species.

A certain Alpha man wants to buy a motorcycle. He has never ridden one before, never been interested, really, but for some reason, he has decided that now is the right time to ride the roaring beast.

One day, he sees a used motorcycle for sale for the right price. He contacts the seller and makes an appointment to look at it.

Does he bring a male buddy who knows about bikes? You think? ;-)

He brings ME. Gennita, who knows nothing, NOTHING (other than riding and hanging decorously on), about bikes. To show off his new toy, you say? Oh, not so, my dears.

When you're with an Alpha, you know they don't just show off toys like that. Oh, there's a reason why an Alpha man would take me to buy a motorcycle and it ain't to show off.

I know exactly why I've been asked to go along to check out the beast. For one tiny, itsy-bitty, moment, I consider not playing my part. Torture comes in many forms, you know ;-). But ah, well. I'm, after all, a nice, friendly woman who understands the innate shyness of an Alpha man TO ASK FOR DIRECTIONS.

So I dutifully open my mouth and ask all the important questions that a man can't ask another man, such as

"How do you turn it on?"
"Where are the turn signals?"
"How much gas? How far can it go before you refill the tank?"
"Are those the gears?"
and, the most important one: "Is this a good bike to learn how to ride on? or is it too dangerous for a beginner?"

Hahahahahahahahahahahaha. Alpha puppies. I trained them all....

Now, I have to go ask another Alpha man to teach this Alpha man how to ride a beast. Of course I have to go along. I'm going to be the one asking the RIGHT DIRECTIONS to operate the machine while the males do their alpha grunts and signals. Tsk.

As you can see, Alpha men just can't admit they don't know how. You know I'm going to have to find a way to insert this scene into a book! Maybe Cucumber...hmm...he's going to need a Big Bike.

Monday, October 22, 2007

The Uber World Is Blogging

You want to waste more time? This link is going under my Procrastination Station section of my blog:

http://play.blogger.com/

These are photos uploaded in real time by bloggers all around the world. Everything about everyone's lives, thoughts, and history. You can sit and stare at this as the pictures zoom by, thinking deep thoughts and admiring at the human love and need for communication.

After watching, tell me your thoughts. Life is beautiful? Sniff, sniff? Or Yikes, Big Brother lives?

It's beautiful. And humbling. And also a bit scary to know that it's happening in real time ;-).

Sunday, October 21, 2007

Sunday Fun: Uber-Newz Made Eazy

Two shocking pieces of writing news today using the popular LOLCAT format ;-).

I callz it Kwickie LOLNewz N Reaktionz:

as in:
JK Rowling tells fans Dumbledore is gay. Oh noes! Now everyone's going to see something in everything he's ever said!

And here, for those still following the Lanaia Lee scandal (and her 50 emails threatening Jane of Dear Author and other various writing boards), earning her an infamous entry in the Encyclopaedia Dramatica. Check out all the links in that post to get your fill on teh stupid.

You mean you guys aren't into LOLCATS yet? :::shocked::: Where is your Internetz Smartz?! Get up to date on WIKIPEDIA: LOLCATS. Have some fun. Make your own LOLCats ;-).

This fad has even gone on to become...LOLBATS: