ANNOUNCEMENTS

VIRTUALLY HERS came out Oct. 2009. Get it at SAMHAIN Publishing. VIRTUALLY ONE coming soon.
VIRTUALLY HERS OUT IN PRINT AUG 2010.

I've also made available at Amazon BIG BAD WOLF a COS Commando book, an earlier manuscript about Killian Nicholas Langley. You can sample the first five chapters right here. EBOOK now available for KINDLE, NOOK, and at SMASHWORDS for $4.99.

I appreciate all your emails. If you'd like to buy Virtually His NEW, please contact me. Thank you.



CLICK:

Big Bad Wolf Author's Note/CH. 1

Big Bad Wolf CH. 2

Big Bad Wolf Ch. 3

(more chapters on left side bar below)



To read excerpts of VIRTUALLY HERS, scroll down & click on the links on the right.



EMAIL ME AT JENN AT GENNITA-LOW DOT COM


VIRTUALLY HERS UPDATE

VIRTUALLY HERS OUT IN PRINT AUG 2010! Discounted at Amazon!

To read & comment on the poll (left column), click HERE. Thank you for all the wonderful posts there!

UPDATE: I SOLD THE SERIES TO SAMHAIN!

Here's your UBER VIRTUALLY HERS YAK THREAD!


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Monday, September 27, 2010

I Is A Dinosaur

I have this big expanse of wall space in my study, and I dream of getting shelves put there, from one end to the other. I've had this dream for a year (and some months) now. The shelves aren't wide like the store-bought bookshelves, but are from precut planks from Lowes or Home Depot--8 inches--so I could stack my books sideways, titles upright, and they'd al fit precisely up to the next plank/shelf, so that I don't have to dust.

In the course of this one-plus year of dreaming, almost everyone I know online has bought an e-reader or is thinking of one. Kindle. Nook. I-Phone. I-Pad. Sony. Many love their new lifestyle--no more heavy books, no more piles around the house, space is now free for other things.

From the standpoint of the new world of ebooks, I'm an utter Fail. You see, I have this nasty habit of browsing through my chosen novel, sometimes starting from The End.  Granted, it's possible to do this with an ebook, with e-reader of choice, but it hasn't given me the same odd satisfaction. I can't seem to flip backwards the same.

Of course, I realize that I'm just an odd duck and the industry is passing me by.  Almost every voracious reader is downloading like crazy--free ebooks, free samples, free galleys, buying more books than ever before--and here I am, still building shelves.

I mean, how medieval. People have virtual shelves now, showing off covers of their acquired ebooks, storing their library in the "Cloud," a place where virtual books exist to be called upon at leisure from anywhere in this world, unless, of course, you're hit by a natural disaster like a hurricane and you're knocked offline for 2 weeks.  Then your storage is off-limits till wifi and electricity return.

But even then, a savvy reader doesn't just have one source of ebooks.  There are those who know how to break the DRM and store their book files into their I-phones.  There are ebooks sold without DRM and these one could store in one's e-device of choice.

So I stare at my medieval shelves and wonder: why should I give these books space in my house when I could put them in the Cloud?  Imagine, a study with no clutter or piles of books.

Maybe I'm just a stasher by nature. I like to stash things, especially books. Shelves upon shelves of touchable books make me deliriously happy for some reason, that looking at virtual shelves does't. Besides, I'm not very organized by nature. I know where my physical books are, even if they're shelved out of order.  Over on top, all oldie Nora Roberts.  In bedroom, all Presents, especially Bianchin and Reid. Far right, a mixture of paranormals, with some Merline Lovelace SIMs that wandered in there that I hadn't gotten the time to move to another spot. And uh, those piles? That's my Loot from various conventions that I haven't gotten to yet. Sue me, but the Loot always makes me rub my hands in glee because I know I'll get to play with them some day.

I just know, if I jump to everything e-books, I'll never know where my files are.  Or, if I'm smart enough to put them all in one place, none of them would be arranged in a way that I could easily find an oldie for rereading. I look at my files in My Documents on my computer and know that would be how my virtual books would look like--everything saved haphazardly, with the odd folder for a manuscript. And somehow, looking at lines and lines of titles on a screen just doesn't give me the same glee.

This is how dinosaurs died off, you know.  They were too big and couldn't adapt to the new Age.

Off I go looking at that wall again....

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Tuesday, September 21, 2010

Post #2: Holy Meow and Helping A Good Cause

John Scalzi, one of my favorite bloggers and authors, went on hiatus for a few weeks while he set off to Australia (arrrgh, I'm so jealous of that) for a convention.  He's an interesting bloke and I "get" him, so I've been a fan since I was a young roofer ;-); in fact, my internet relationship with him has grown from Netscape Navigator at $3.99/month to Internet Explorer 8.

During his holiday, I didn't go to his blog because although he had some wonderful writing guests, it wasn't HIM, you know?  So, after remembering that he would be back around mid-Sept., I happily set out to catch up on all the news I've been missing while he was gone.

First, if you haven't heard, he has an awesome project with Wil Wheton to fight lupus.  Here's the announcement from his blog:

Wil Wheaton, John Scalzi and Subterranean Press are proud to announce the publication of CLASH OF THE GEEKS, a special and fantastical electronic chapbook. It features stories by Wheaton, Scalzi, New York Times bestseller Patrick Rothfuss, Norton Award winner and Hugo Best Novel nominee Catherynne M. Valente, Hugo and Nebula Award nominee Rachel Swirsky, and others, and is for the benefit of the Michigan/Indiana affiliate of the Lupus Alliance of America.

The chapbook is available in multiple DRM-free electronic formats at http://unicornpegasuskitten.com. It is free to download, but voluntary payment is strongly encouraged, via Paypal or by tax-deductible donation, with links to both provided at the unicornpegasuskitten.com Web site. All proceeds from this chapbook will go to the Michigan/Indiana affiliate of the Lupus Alliance of America.


Yes, it's a free download, but for $5 (or more, if you could afford it), you get some very fine writing from wonderful science fiction authors.  AND CHECK OUT THIS COVER:

How could you resist THAT (Yes, that's Scalzi, who, in real life, isn't green)?

So anyway, geeks and fans of geeks, please help out a good cause and, with a small donation, get this chapbook.

And second, if that giant kitten doesn't get you, check out the following video, also swiped from John's site.  This is what kitties in heaven sing like:


Meow Translation: Donate at http://www.unicornpegasuskitten.com/!



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Would It Still Be Self-Pub If You Need A Techie Assistant?

I just received my rights back to The Protector and Sleeping With The Agent.  I'd love to have the time to format them to sell them as edownloads at Smashwords, which, from my research, makes ebooks readable on all e-reading devices, including the Kindle, Sony, and Android.  Also, with the right formatting and following of instructions, these titles would also be available at mainstream sites, such as Barnes and Noble (and, very soon, Amazon too, they claimed).

It's not just the formatting part.  I'll need new covers (they belong to the old publisher) and new blurbs.  I want to change the title of Sleeping With The Agent, which I'd been against since the beginning.  I suppose I could also do the same for the novella, The Game, and expand on it too since I could make it longer!  And oh, Big Bad Wolf, too, since I wouldn't have to figure out Kindle's CSS instructions all by myself.

My dream Techie Assistant would do all this for me for a reasonable part-time fee ;-).  Wouldn't that be nice?

Yes, it's a brave new world out there for authors.  Maybe I'll call it Steamy-Print Punk Era.

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Sunday, September 19, 2010

Obviously I Need This New Talent



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Tuesday, September 14, 2010

The Journey of a Technical Support Call to Dell

I'm in rant mood.  My extension for my business tax is about to run out (tomorrow) and I've been fighting the download (or upload, who knows) .exe whatever-engine for 22 hours now, thanks to DELL online and other various internet advice.  So bear with me while I just spew a mini tantrum about things that need to be stomped at.

This is written live, in between Dell Technicians Who Can't Help Me.

1) It says in the ad, that it only takes one hour to do your taxes with Turbo Tax (ya, rrrrright).  I guess we don't count the 2 hours to download/upload it and another two to update it.  That is, if the first try works.

2) When calling Technical Support for any online order (DELLDELLDELL), why do they shuffle you to five different foreign countries who don't know or care how tired you are about repeating the same problem? Who then, aggravate your pain by obviously reading a pre-written apology about the wait and waste of your cell minutes before shuffling you off to another department? DELL FAILS. And then, if you ask for a refund out of frustration, for a link that wasn't sent, you're politely told that they couldn't access the link either, so no refund? The most satisfaction I got today was to be able to cuss in Indian just to hear a shocked silence on the other end.  Ha. Yes, I'm a crude American and I know your language. Haha. HA. HA. HA.

While listening to the endless Muzak loop at STUPID DELL, I managed to come up with some deep thoughts as I stared

first at my feet: Why do we need nails?  Especially toe nails. I mean, it's not like they are hoofs, essential for bearing the weight of magnificent running beasts. They grow: women paint them; men disgustingly cut them on the the kitchen table. Toe nails, to me, are useless. LIKE DELL TECHNICAL SUPPORT.

secondly at all the cups and saucers that were peeking out from my open cabinet: Does one person really need a dozen cups and saucers? And fifty forks and spoons? Why can't I throw away a coffee cup just because it has some cute saying printed on its side? Should I make some coffee while I wait? I mean, it might take DELL TECHNICAL SUPPORT all night to figure out how to save the world before getting back to me.

My third rant came from the answer of one of the bright DELL TECHNICIANS.  He used the word I hate.  Detest. Loathe. In reply to my "Can you help me?" he said, "Absolutely." Absolutely demands intensity. A total commitment. A need to complete, perfect, make whole. There is no such thing as a casual "absolutely." In this case, as I knew from experience of anyone who used that word, DELL TECHNICAL SUPPORT ABSOLUTELY did nothing to help me.

My fourth complaint is: Why does it take 60 secs for my credit card to be charged but two to three weeks for a company to refund the money??? Surely if it goes out that easily into their pockets, it should be just that easy to flow back into mine.  Maybe they should pay me back with the interest they're going to make from my money (and many thousand others) sitting in their account.

A fifth discovery: Mahjong is a lot of fun when you're angry and frustrated.  Especially the double sets. Mahjong to Muzak is all DELL TECHNICAL SUPPORT LINE is good for.

And lastly: the meaningless "have a nice day." The nice day is gone. You stole it, DELL TECHNICAL SUPPORT. You totally blew my nice day out of the water. You destroyed my nice day. Don't make the poor technician read from his cards, "Thank you and have a nice day." Because he sounded like he was gritting his teeth and wishing me to go to hell, which would have been fine with me because I would have said:

ABSOLUTELY! I AM IN HELL! HELL is 22 hours dealing with DELL TECHNICAL SUPPORT!

Okay, phone call ended. I'm buying another download, this time from Amazon, which, I've been told by various sources, is owned by Satan (you tell me if Bezos doesn't sound like a demon's name).  So everything should go smoothly since it's a Turbo Tax software I'm buying. Taxes and death are absolute, aren't they?



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Friday, September 10, 2010

How To Entice Women To Watch Soccer

Excellent idea!  I'll definitely watch all the close-ups!  Headers!  Penalty shot! GOALLLLLLlllll!



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Tuesday, September 07, 2010

Zen and the Art of Writing Maintenance

A writer, new in her quest to take on writing as a career, asked me to give her ten rules/wise things to remember for the next ten years, since I've been around, to her knowledge, for that long.  That gave me a few moments of heart palpitations.  Geez. It's been that long?  Oh yeah.

Actually, I've been around longer, way before one could actually trace one's roots on the Internetal Wayback Big Brother Machine, but why let people know about my antiquity? I'll just pretend to be one of those Immortals I love reading about, morphing from one identity into another, living lives with no real roots ;-).

Okay.  Ahem. Ten rules/pieces of advice, she asked. I'll oblige to share my wisdom, with one caveat. The rules aren't set in stone and they might, depending on the direction of your writing career, even cause you to ponder your sanity for actually thinking you could make it.

Here goes:

1) Action is better than perfection.

2) Break your best writing friend's heart. Don't edit her. Make suggestions, but don't edit.

3) Don't ask for quotes from very famous authors you don't know who have personal assistants.

4) Plot matters. But it must also make characters interesting. Boring plot = characters standing around making noises.

5) Trilogies are for the brave. And the very famous. Unless you wrote all three books first.

6) Make your bed EVERY morning. The temptation to crawl into bed and pull the covers over one's head is always present, especially around deadline time.

7) Remember the paralysis of analysis.  Every page you print out for research, someone has already written another page.  Knowing everything about your topic will drown your story and kill your interest.

8) Remember to read a book for fun. Every roofstory is different and you might learn something cool. Or not. I can stand on the ground and look at a roof and know it's mine, and why I did certain things that way, and that's from walking on other roofers' finished roofs.

9) Know your editor. Know your business. And even then, when you least expect it, you'll get the equivalent of a silent movie's piano falling on top of you. Worse, it's your piano, for which you're still paying.

10) Your readers are not your personal psychiatrist. Share discriminately on the Net. Rant discriminately.

11) I'll throw in a freebie ;-).  Your Muse is not your bitch either.

There. The above has moved my writing journey along.  It's not a terribly exciting or new list of observations, I'm afraid, and there are actually quite a bit of in-between stuff that are missing.  Actually, the more interesting wise sayings have been left unsaid because wise sayings become gossip when names are thrown in, yes? ;-).

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Sunday, September 05, 2010

Steampunk Confusion

The site, Regretsy, sells things.  And many of these things make one wonder.  And also not, if you had ever gone to yard sales and watched other people's junk being snatched up like treasures.

Anyway, Steampunk is being hailed as the new up and coming HOT TREND.  What is Steampunk, you ask?  Well, it's hard to pinpoint because many of the new books published under that heading have various twists of the founding (although they didn't coin the term) writers such as H.G. Wells and Mary Shelley.  Think Victorian age, steam-powered machines, and throw in some science fiction.  Many writers have incorporated alternative history and time travel elements, but definitely, the culture and feel of the setting is Victorian-ish, from fashion to speaking mannerism to architecture.

What has this to do with Regretsy?  Regretsy has a label at its site called "Things That Are Not Steampunk" which had me choking over my coffee.  First, they show the item for sale that the seller has labeled steampunk, then they used their own artists to render a Steampunk depiction using said Sale Item.

For example, ladies and gentleman, venture closer and marvel at the Steampunk Jesus Clock.

Real Item:


Regretsy's depiction:


You can read the hilarious comments HERE.  Personally, the hole where the hands are supposed to is very disturbing.  Also, why no hands?  You have to read some of the wittier observations, such as the hour the Lord is happy. *choke

Another item is this Steampunk Hat:


Okay, a space Jedi on a hat does not a Steampunk story make.  BELOW is Regretsy's depiction of this hat Steampunk-style:



You can check out the visitors' mockery HERE.

:D 

I suppose the readers' confusion will grow when more and more Steampunk books hit the shelves.  Especially when the werewolves and vampires start showing up.  Come on, you know they will.  Werewolves and vampires all wear Victorian clothes!  All righty, then.

Happy Labor's Day!

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Tuesday, August 31, 2010

Will They Remember Like I Do?

At the Samhain Blog, an editor was putting out the call for different types of romance stories, especially those set during the Civil War, the 20s, the 50s, and the 60s.  Our historical genre is often limited to pre 1900s, with a few authors venturing to the early 1900s/Victorian era.

When I asked about this limited time frame a long time ago--I mean, when one did a time travel, right, why not back to World War II instead of, let's say, Culloden?--I was told that many readers were unwilling to read a romance set so close to their time, and especially World War II, when their parents were alive at that time.  I accepted this strange concept because I was new in writing within the romance genre.

However, I posed that question LAST CENTURY (ahem, yeah, I feel oooold) and World War II is, to me, the next Culloden because of the epicness of it.  And if not World War II, why not World War I? The many interesting things a romance writer can do within that era--the lushness of the decadent rich versus the growing middle class; the Upstairs, Downstairs (GREAT PBS TV show, if you are babes) stuff; a love story (with a happy ending, ahem) set around the Titanic, for gadsakes.  There aren't many published with these settings (there are some, but far in between, and of course, there are historical books with love stories, which isn't what I'm writing about).

I have a theory why there is such a glut of futuristic/urban fantasy books these days.  Don't get me wrong; I love this genre like a teen loves his text messaging, but yeah, too much of the same thing can breed a certain ennui.

As a reader, I get into a rut trying to keep with all the different series of One Special Heroine, her quest, and the one (or two or dozen) Special Alpha Man in her life, set within a very special mix of modern times and fantastical elements (shapeshifters, magic, apocalyptic, angels, demons, etc.)  As a writer, I love the many twists to the old myths, the way other talented writers make each urban fantasy their own, using familiar history and mixing up the old myths to create fascinating stories.

But, like I said, there is a glut.  Just look at the bookstands, if you still go to the book store. The most popular books are all urban fantasies. Readers love them, apparently, and so, editors seek more authors writing them.  We also get younger writers who are venturing into the romance genre, young women who grew up comfortable with playing fantasy video games and writing fanfiction of fantasy/supernatural heroes and heroines, and thus, able to create the mixed-genre feel of urban hipness and medievalish fantasy.

I'll throw out an example of this mix.  Modern world with current tech (maybe even better).  Psychics are used as some kind of soldier, able to read minds of citizens unless they are insane or mentally ill. Except there is one special breed, called PsyBlind. My heroine is a PsyBlind--psychics are unable to read her and she is able to hide this by being a Depressive, one who has to have certain drugs given her to keep the voices out. During this time, the Psychics' hold on humanity has become tighter, as they move higher up in the echelons of ruling power. The President is said to be under the power of a top Psychic.  The Psychics also has a secret, one concerning their inability to have real sex, and this is the story of the first book.

Of course there is an underground system of anarchy, with special heroes, with their own special powers.  My heroine will be rescued by one of these heroes but is he going to use her and thus sacrifice her for the greater good?

Can you see how certain concepts have been twisted to fit into a "new" but familiar urban setting?  I can throw in the techy stuff and still have my heroes fight like medieval dudes with swords and sorcery because the Psychics don't allow guns and are arrogant enough to think they can control sorcery (mind) games.  I can make every tech thing that we love into a subject of paranoia. GOOGLE is now GOGGLE and yeah, IT watches you. Cable TV is all about mind control. 

And this is all from the top of my head, with no real research yet.  I know how far I can push this series and what kind of romance I want it to be. There is a wealth of stuff out there waiting for me to mine and I can actually visualize all the notes already.  It'll be fun.

One thing I realize while reading urban fantasies is that, in a majority of them, there is very little real atmosphere other than the requisite blood and action. Sometimes I feel that the characters speak younger than I'd like but I chalk that up to personal preference, but even so, I do smirk at centuries-old vampires speaking younger than me.  This, I do sometimes blame the author.  For being young.  For taking for granted that her readers are young like her.  And maybe even the editors, because heck, they are getting younger too.

An old fart like me have opinions about older men, especially those who have been playing with power for a long, long time.  About experienced men.  About killers.  And a combination of all the above and have the man still talking like a hormonal teen can make me chuckle, but that's just me.

Yes, I know, I'm digressing from my main point.  In my opinion, the glut of futuristics and urban fantasy and the lack of historicals (in romance) come from the same thing--the readers' familiarity with the present world.  You see, whereas, in a fantasy/urban fantasy/futuristic where one could play with the familiar and still give it a fictional feel, many of us are still familiar with the last century, especially from the 1940s onwards and there is no hiding the facts behind fiction here for us.

I came from a Third World country, which meant that our standard of living back then was quite backward compared to the States, very like the 50s, in fact.  I know what it's like to live without electricity.  I remember a world without telephones at home, when the TV was in black and white, when going to the moon was just some kind of sci-fi story.  I was THERE when they televised the walk on the moon.  I was THERE when the first color television showed up.  I was particularly excited about that new thing called the VHS that goes into the VCR because now we could watch "real" TV shows from Hong Kong.

So, when the new group of writers are researching about the 50s and 60s, they might come across the age-old trope of Leave It To Beaver and Wait Till Your Father Comes Home.  Granted, research and smart googling will* give many writers a wealth of knowledge, but I'm talking about familiarity of the senses here.

Yes, life was something like that in those days but we're writing romance here--would the readers know about smoke-filled barrooms?  This wasn't even a long time ago; bars in the 80s were full of smoke because we allowed inside smoking in public places in those days, but I suspect many writers would leave out the smoking when it was so much a part of night life then.  And mosquito-filled nights that could destroy a romantic walk.  And the fact that travel takes a long while, with no instant messaging between parties.  And oh, forget about phone calls, okay? I remember two calls in Hong Kong to/from my boyfriend that cost about $400 that nearly had him killed by his mother. And no, we had no credit cards back then.

These are more atmospheric things that might be missing.  Coming home with clothes and hair smelling like cigarette smoke.  Unprotected sex.  Women SELDOM drove, if at all.  Men don't actually cuss out loud in public.  Phones--we DIALed, not punched buttons.  The pre-computer era--yes, we read all about what people do in the Medievals and Regencies before they could surf the net, but we're talking about a time not too long ago--can readers dissociate themselves so close to their times?  I know I'd be much more judgmental because I know* about those times--the smell, the craziness, the things we ate, etc.  Many of today's readers are already complaining about the "wallpaper" historicals, wherein the feisty heroine acts and talks like a modern woman from today, with the ability to just up and get deflowered at any given night.  I don't mind reading those stories at all, but I'm wondering whether I'd be as forgiving if a 1950s young miss start spouting about animal rights or a 1960s heroine lectures about unsafe sex to her hippy free-loving friends.

The fear of not getting it right is very real.  Details, cleverly written within dialogue and action, make a story.  I enjoy my good urban fantasies because of the detail in the worldbuilding, the cleverness of the mixing between real and fictional.  I love my good historical romances because of the mix in history and culture.  I can't wait for a good 1950s/60s or World War II story, one that would take me back because of an authentic voice.

P/S Yes, I'm aware that the 1980s and early 90s have tons of romances (Harlequin and Silhouette) that had smoking heroes and heroines.  I have many of those bks on my shelves.  Also, the authors then were writing about their contemporary time, so those books don't really count.

P/P/S Yes, I have read several time travels that had the heroine going back to the 1920s and World War II.  Anne Stuart wrote a great short story with a time travel/paranormal element with gangsters and ghosts, and she did a wonderful job with the authentic feel of those times. And there was one set during Vietnam. Yes, I'm also aware of Suzanne Brockmann's three-stories in one books in her Troubleshooter SEALs series, but I skipped those stories set in WWII because I was more interested in reading the main one and having jumped ahead, never did go back to reread.  The titles are gone from my memory but I remember the stories.



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Saturday, August 28, 2010

Virtually His and Virtually Hers Song

I've forgotten about this video that I have! I love this song and it's one that I played many, many times while writing Virtually His and Virtually Hers.  Enjoy! But remember, Gerard is still MINE.



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Wednesday, August 25, 2010

TRUE BLOOD in 60 SexSecs!



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Monday, August 23, 2010

Continuing Education For Writers

Instead of doing what I want (writing), I had to spend much of the last three days doing my must-have-or-they-suspend-your-license continuing education online classes as a certified roofing contractor.  It's required every two years and of course, costs money.  It's mostly the same stuff, with some additional reading material on interesting (NOT) subjects like fungal growth and mewdew (isn't that a lovely word for very ugly fuzz?) in houses or the great new thing about going green (Oh yeah, many of my customers have the $$$ to install solar energy).  These things can* be googled, if the contractor were so inclined to expand his business into inspections and stuff, but noooo, somebody somewhere thought it was an excellent way to add to the governing body's coffers to charge people for extra knowledge they thought they might need.

Not saying continuing education is full of shit.

Okay, I am.  Pfffffffft.

But I won't bore you with the details.  I was just thinking, during the long, long hours of sitting through through PgRefresh-to-pretend-I'm-reading-so-they-don't-logged-me-off, what if there was continuing education for writers too?

How horrible would that be?  Or maybe, it WOULD be a good thing?

Most writers don't know how to run a self-business, don't understand the basics of taxkeeping for self-employment, and some don't even really know how the book business is run today.  I know, I know, we are all about our books, the business be damned, but if we're to know how to live with our writers' earnings, we shouldn't be just thinking about the book but our livelihood, right?

I can think of an excellent class already.  ROYALTY STATEMENTS.  How many of us can actually make heads or tails of that lovely bunch of numbers sent our way every six months?  Sure, we could sort of understand it, but do we really, really get the whole picture? I mean, my royalty statements from MIRA for Virtually His showed pretty decent numbers to me, and I was thinking that I was doing well, and then WHAM! My editor informed me that my numbers were bad because Walmart didn't stock my book and they were dropping the series. Thought about being blindsided.  AND, I'm pride myself as a pretty darn good at self-employment stuff.

So wouldn't it be cool if some BIG LIST and midlist authors gave copies of their royalty statements of a book through a couple of years, anonymously, with names and titles all blacked out, and during a workshop somebody smart and knowledgeable lead us stupid authors through the numbers? I know I'd attend that one.

I know RWA already has workshops for business topics, but not every writer belongs to RWA.  And some of the subject matters are pretty basic for a published author.

I suppose, if one really wanted to, one could educate oneself in anything.  As a roofer, though, I'm always amazed at how people think they could roof or know about it just because they read two things on roofing on Google.  Because Googling does not make one a real expert, you know that, don't you?

So, Googling all the blog topics about e-rights and e-publishing might give one a general view of the business, but it's not the same as talking to some e-authors who have hands-on experience.  When I attend a workshop, though, most of the talking goes round and round about the publishing schedule, what the editors want and vague references to payments. 

The questions are from novices and yes, that's fine, but during a continuing education class, the "teacher" could focus a step further--such as, how does one make money writing e-books? What are the formats all about anyway? Simple questions, to be sure, but you'd be surprised at how confused some people are about these things.  RWA workshops do focus on some of these areas, but the questions invariably return to "me, me, me," which isn't surprising because, of course the writer in you is just interested in the end-product.  That's why continuing education in intermediate topics is a must, I say.

How to implement this? LOL. I have no idea. The more rules, the less the creative personality likes it. But sometimes, and especially now, I suspect--at the cusp of big changes in the industry--it's necessary to know where one stands.

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Wednesday, August 18, 2010

True Blood NSFW

True Blood NSFW Rolling Stone pic! After jump break below:



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Monday, August 16, 2010

Romantic Suspense Book Giveaway Winners

Demon Dog has done his job. I put all your names (written on cardboard) in his little bed and he had a great time playing with them. Here are the five names he picked:

MayMay

John2

Courtney

Anonymous (quilter892)

Riana

Congratulations! Please email me: Jenn at Gennita-Lowdotcom and give me an address to mail your book.

Thank you for coming to my blog and commenting. I hope you'll enjoy the books!



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Sunday, August 15, 2010

RWA Why Can't I Be The Well-Behaved Author? Huh?



Surrounded by the bestest bunch of famous authors, I have to goof my opportunity to look authorly: Kylie Brant, Roxanne Rustand, Cindy Gerard, Ummmm...., Roxy's daughter, Emily, and Leanne Banks.
Sigh.



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Friday, August 13, 2010

WereDemon: Friday's Furry Criminal

EXHIBIT X



SUSPECT # UNO



SUSPECT'S SUSPICION: "HE did it, mommy!" Pointing paw at -->


SUSPECT # 2. His Affidavit of Innocense: "Wha...? I was sleeping under your chair, Mommy! While you were writing!!!"

WANTED: PIRANHA on the run! Looks like pix below. Beware of Teeth.





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Wednesday, August 11, 2010

Something For Your Closet

CONTEST NOTE:

I was asked to hold Demon Dog off for a couple more days because a reader has just posted the link to the contest on a forum and she didn't want people to come here and see that the contest is over. Okay. A couple more days for FOUR chances to win a romantic suspense novel. Please comment on that thread, not this one, okay?

And now. Something to stare at and wonder. Because it's Wednesday and somethings are just meant for mid-week. Below is apparently the newest trend in fashion, which made its debut in Berlin last month. Yes. You are looking right. Fashion models with bald heads and wispy beards. So. Sexy. I can't wait to dress up like that and walk around town myself. What about you?








NEXT: Models with pimples and asses! What a concept!


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Monday, August 09, 2010

Nnnnnnggggggah! Nnnnngggeeeehhhhhh!

The contest will run a few more days, folks, so keep your friends coming! Demon Dog is excited at the prospect of chewing on five names out the hat! (And my book and magazine collection thank you for saving them from ruin....)

Demon Dog Progress Report

He's growing out of puppyhood although he still has the fluffy chicky-ducky hair. The funniest thing is, he has these two baldish spots on top of his head where horns are usually found. You know what, it kinda feels nubbly there. Do you think...? I wouldn't be surprised.

Besides the usual yips and yaps, he makes this peculiar sound when protesting anything that displeases him. Imagine a dog who has smoked too much cigar trying to growl-talk, but all that comes out is these short little throaty noises that resemble "nnnnggah! Nnnnngahhhhh! Nnnngggggeeh!" And he keeps making them till you think that's actually a real animal sound.

The horrifying thing is, I actually have managed to assimilate it into dogspeak. You know how you sometimes growl at your doggies if they misbehave? No? Just me? (whistling) Anyway, yesterday was a mother of a humid day and I was roofing on this old house where they used planks instead of plywood. It's very difficult to nail fast, even with a nailgun since there are these big cracks in between the boards and covered with tar paper, one can't actually see to avoid them. So, every so often, one hits those gaps, and has to put down the nailer, stand up and get the tar to fill the nail holes, and try to remember not to nail that height that particular line of shingles.

Rinse repeat rinse repeat. Like I said, it was a mother of a humid day. Perspiration was pouring into my eyes. There was hardly any breeze. The tenth or so time I did that in ten minutes got me really frustrated. Suddenly, these sounds started coming out of my mouth as I glared at the object of my frustration.

You guessed right.

"NNnnnnnnggggggah! Nnnnnnggggggeehhhhhhh! Nnnnnnggggaaaaah!"

Oh dear. I caught myself doing that and it was so ridiculous I started laughing. And couldn't stop for a good five minutes. God, Demon Dog Talk has infected me. My partner thought I had been touched by the sun because first, he heard these weird noises and then saw me lying on my back on the roof, cackling like an idiot.

So now you know what sounds to make when you're frustrated. Go practice :D!

***************

And for your amusement, go to this link and check out these Banana Republic pants. Heeheehee. Bet they sold quite a few that day!



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Wednesday, August 04, 2010

Virtually Hers out in print and BOOKS GIVEAWAY

I've been so busy trying to get caught up at work that I don't even have time to unload my RWA books from my car trunk! I can't do it like I used to, pile them in a neat pyramid in the living room and stare at my loot all week because of DEMON DOG, who, as you know, can climb anything, open anything, and devours everything. It's not a risk I'm willing to take!

But VIRTUALLY HERS, print format, is out this week and I have to promote ;-).

So, comment here and Demon Dog will pick one winner for one book from:

Gennita Low (I have two!)



Marliss Melton (one of my favorite writers of SEAL spec ops!)

Dee Davis (one of best crafters of RS)

Cindy Gerard (nummy heroes!)

In your comment, tell me why you enjoy romantic suspense and which different subset you especially like (police procedural, spec. ops, serial murders, etc.)

You actually have four chances to win, so please get your friends in other forums to come by too. Yes, yes, it's that pesky thing called promotion, you know. Good luck!

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Tuesday, August 03, 2010

2 RWA 2010 Video/Slide Show

The first is done by moi, a quick story panel of my friends and I having fun at RWA.

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The second, a video of the RWA Literacy Signing, is awesomely done by Sarah Wendell from the Smart Bitches. She did a great job with the lip-synching!




And that's the week in a nutshell.



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Monday, August 02, 2010

Winners of Urban Fantasy Books

Demon Dog has chewed your names out of the hat!

The winners for Kelley Armstrong's and Marjorie M Liu's newest books are:

LouisianaSusan and Jaylee.

Congrats and please email me!

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Tuesday, July 27, 2010

Off to RWA & Two Books To Give Away!

Right now, I'm packing for the RWA convention. By this time tomorrow, I'm going to be with my author friends, chatting and exchanging news. I can't wait. No sweaty roofing gear for a few days, yay.

I lost ten pounds for RWA and now I can wear my new outfit that I bought for the party. It's going to be strange wobbling around on high heels for four days, especially since I've been climbing up and down roofs non-stop for the last two months. And instead of hammering, I'll be signing books--it never fails to amuse me how I morph from one to the other, from clothes to conversation to company!

Of course I'll be taking pics and blogging about RWA events. Meanwhile I have two books to give away!

The first the ARC to Kelley Armstrong's newest book:


The other one is none other than the third book in the brilliant Maxine Kiss series by Marjorie Liu:



I just love, LOVE the cover art of both books, don't you? Kelley is one of the first urban fantasy authors who caught many romance readers' attention with her strong women and sexy men. Then there is Marjorie, who writes some of the best paranormal romances as well as this awesome series.

Since their books are coming out end of July together, here is a chance for two lucky winners to get their hands on them. Just write in the comments why you enjoy urban fantasy, one of my favorite genres.

I thought it'd be appropriate for Demon Dog to pick the winners! Good luck!

RWA tomorrow!



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Friday, July 23, 2010

My Very Own Spice Guy Parody: SPY GUY, HAHAHA!

What do you think?

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Thursday, July 22, 2010

Of Puppies and Books

It's been a long, long week. Next week, I'll be at RWA, Orlando, and it'll be another kind of long, long week (this time, with me having fun with my writing buddies!). I hope to have more news by then, or at least, pretend to have a more interesting life, heh.

For those who don't follow me on Facebook and have been writing emails, Demon Dog, aka Pepe Le Pom, is doing well. Why am I not surprised he's getting more fan mail than me? I guess that video I made of him "being bored" made him lovable, huh?

He's going through an ugly stage of puppyhood--hair falling, all teeth, unimaginable destruction. Fortunately for him, he's loved. Not all day long, but he's loved. One day, the sweet dog inside him will emerge and he'll be the most obedientest, most quietest, mostest everything goodest dog evah. I live in hope.

But for now, I live to come home hoping the book collection is still intact; only one magazine has been snagged and munched; no electrical cords have been dragged; and nothing more than hairballs have been puked out. Yes, it's always neat and tidy in the Low Home ;-). My dogsitter thinks he's the cutest fluffball ever too, and spoil, spoil, SPOIL him.

*****

It's strange to watch a small 20-inch TV again. My big screen TV went kaput and it'll cost more than it's worth to fix it, and since I need the $$$ to pay for my hotel room at RWA, it's back to Old Faithful, the 30 year old little Sony, who's still chugging along. But whoever said, once you've tried bigger, you can't go smaller, is right ;-). It is indeed a shock to the system to watch a show and can't see the pores in the actors' faces. Also, the TV is in the bedroom, so I've to actually sit down on the bed and watch the whole segment, instead of running around the room doing chores. Just not the same, you know?

*****

Many authors are now uploading e-files of their older books (whose rights have been reverted back to them) onto Smashwords and other online places. I think this is pretty cool. It means writers have more avenues to make money AND they can get a bigger percentage than the old 5-10 percent from their New York publishers.

This also means that authors are getting used to ebooks being part of their sales options. Five years ago, many would tell you that their electronic sales numbers weren't substantial enough for them to worry about. That was before Kindle, Ipad, and the Nook, though. Suddenly, everyone is yakking about putting up ebooks for sale. It's pretty amazing how a few good sales can attract writers' interest, yes?

*****

Finally, and as a good segue on the craziness of puppies of the human form, Youtube is/was running a Cutest Boy Contest. No, I wasn't paying attention, but I happened to come across this entry because it had had over 15 million viewers and Youtube kept asking me to check it out. The two kids = Adorable Puppies. They were just lip-synching and fooling around, but their little brotherly antics and one-upmanship of each other cracked me up. Also, Mommy/Sis walking by in the background between 2:00 and 3:00, totally ignoring their antics in front of the camera, took the cake. It reminded me, years ago, of my own brothers and sisters screaming and generally "killing" each other ten feet away from me while I sat there reading my book.

Yes, when I'm ignoring them, below is what Jiggle Low and Pepe Demon Dog do ;-):



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Monday, July 19, 2010

Time On Your Hands

Which I don't have, really.

I'm desperately trying to get some roofs done before RWA comes around at the end of the month. And the writing. Oh, the writing. Desperate and trying describe that too. It's amazing how one's mind refuses to cooperate when the body is exhausted.

But, if you do have time on your hands and have a few hours to enjoy surfing the Internet, here are two links guaranteed to have to clicking the hours away:

Old Spice Man Responses

The responses are on the right hand side and there are hundreds of them. Some are absolutely hilarious.

Handsome Men Who Are Dead Now Blog

From Alexander the Great to Byron to Paul Newman, the writer details the beauty of these past delicious beauties with humorous, but still, somewhat disturbing, banter. The funniest was checking out the backside of the statue of Spartacus. Yes, she went there. Go see if your favorite handsome dead guy is there. In his prime, of course.

Happy surfing! And don't blame me when you look at the clock. I warned you first.



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Wednesday, July 14, 2010

Furbaby Story: Deviousness Runs In My Family

In this corner, Jiggle Low, Strategist Extraordinaire:


In this corner, Pepe Le Pom, The Enfant Terrible:

My mutant pom, Jiggle Low, is a very possessive dog. You've read about his evil jealous antics, chasing after male Bug Guys, lifting his leg on anything used by my male friends, and growling at any encroachment of his territory, which includes me and his "harem."

Because of this, I've trained the new mutant baby, Pepe Le Pom, to not jump on the bed at night, but instead sleep on a pillow on the floor at my side of the bed. It has been working well. Late at night, I would turn over, dangle my hand down and give Pepe a pet and ear rub, which is a rare feat, since that dog is a walking piranha at the moment; he walks and runs with his mouth open all. The. Time. And his idea of playing is to chew on anything you extend in his direction. So it's nice to be able to have a quiet moment with him. In the morning, if I peer over the side, he'd turn on his back so I could give him a belly rub before he dashes off to his rampant destruction of any new toy of the day.

Jiggy, on the bed by my side, seemed satisfied with the arrangement. Or at least I thought so. He used to jump on and off the bed because he liked sharing time with his Other Woman, Lilah, who resides under my bed. I know. How typical male, right? But that's another topic for discussion ;-). Anyway, when he's not a possessive hump on my chest, I assume he's under the bed guarding his Other Woman.

This morning, he wasn't on the bed. I sleepily turned over, dropped my hand over the side, made contact with fur, and sleepily, as always, pet Pepe. I felt him stretch his neck out so I could reach under his jaw (do dogs have chins?). As I--sleepily--rubbed him, I could feel him just moving his body under my fingers, getting the maximum mommy attention.

I was thinking, how cute, he's learning how to move around so I could scratch all his favorite spots. Wait. A. Minute. My eyes slitted open. I slowed my hand, exploring a little. Pepe, in spite the amount of food he consumes, has a bony back, and this one is rather...rumpy and thick with hair instead of puppy fur.

I moved closer to the edge of my bed and peered down. There, on the pillow, wasn't Pepe Le Pom. It was Mr. Jiggle Low, using all his Bad Boy Skillz to hunch down like a small puppy and staying quiet as he stole his rival's morning privilege.

Pepe's tail was peeping out from under the bed, so I'm assuming Jiggs had pushed him there sometime before I woke up. He had PLANNED this. TIMED the precise moment I would reach out for the pup. HUNCHED DOWN in the exact place. And WAITED.

Is that not deviousness? That is awesome deviousness. I could only stare down into his soft melty (and triumphant) gaze in proud momma admiration.



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Tuesday, July 13, 2010

A Conference For COMCEN Peeps!

I'd love to attend it too. It is The Augmented Reality Event, a conference about Virtual Reality and how to make it even more immersive for those experiencing it. Sure, it's mostly targeted at video games right now, but you know the government labs are taking that one step further.

In my writing about Hell using the VR suits, I've neglected the use of shoes. The Adidas shoe that's shown in the article gave me an idea, so TADA! Hell, you're going to have a shoe experience ;-).

It's always fun to do research and implement it into one's stories. With the concept of VR, I have to keep up a lot more than with other research because it's constantly expanding and I don't want Hell's and Jed's VR tech to fall behind current science!

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Sunday, July 11, 2010

Surviving Inertia

Many writers deal with it sooner or later. Writer's block.

I thought Jeremiah Tolbert's piece, Writing is a Sail Boat and I'm Stuck on the Reefs, described what I went through very well. Except perhaps, in my case, my ship was in dire straits of sinking and I don't swim very well.

There are many writers who call their creation their babies, and many online tend to mock them. All you have to do is go on Twitter and search for the hashtag #booksarenotbabies. Sure, some authors do tend to go on and on about their characters and stories like proud mamas, and when they rage against those who dare to point out their flaws and imperfections, especially in a public forum, they become entertainment fodder. That kind of behavior is known on the web as Authors Behaving Badly.

However one looks at it--baby or not--most books are written with a lot of time involved, borne out of the writer's love and need to create that particular story from start to finish. It is a fever very similar to the need to procreate, to make something that comes from oneself, that would perhaps be one's contribution to one's life. Perhaps, writing genre books, an accomplishment on which many already look down, might not be comparable to that Ivy League Baby of Literature that holds everyone's esteem, even if the latter sucked the boringness out of boredom. Those works are treated like fragile babies, come to think of it.

As a reader, I don't know the book I'm reading's particular journey. I can only enjoy it. Or not. Yet, as I continue in my own journey as a writer, I'm too aware of all the things that can make or break a writer's concentration. And in that sense, I understand the "this is my baby" phenomena. When writer's block happens--for me, anyway--there is a sense of panic that is equivalent to seeing a child sick and being unable to take away its pain.

The feeling of helplessness grows and grows to the point that the pages I keep writing don't seem to make sense to me. At the same time, one can't share one's fears and pain while one's writing friends are happily chirping about their pages and creativity for the day/week. It's like Mr. Tolbert's analogy--shipwrecked on an island, alone and depending on oneself for survival.

But talking about the pain of writing is like sharing TMI in a conversation, isn't it? And defending one's work is like the biggest No-No in the world of writing-correctness, especially if one came across as a shrew (but even if one didn't, it's an automatic accusation, regardless of gender of writer). Or (gasp!), get threatened to be put on somebody's Do Not Buy List. So it is better not to talk about the pain of writing in a forum that's making fun of writing, especially one's own at that moment. Unless you're like me, and just want to unleash your inner devil's advocate and start calling everyone mean just so I can hear the We're Mean Girl Pride speech.

These things have been on my mind lately and I'm just processing it. Thinking and putting it out here would probably get me in trouble. But hell, if I could survive a shipwreck, I could survive somebody making fun of my baby.

Note 1: I don't actually see my books as my babies. My poms are my babies. Make fun of that and you incur my wrath. You may make fun of my books as long as you've paid for at least one of them new. I can be insulted for a quarter or a dollar (royalty depending on bk).

Note 2: So what the hell are you babbling about on this blog entry then, Jenn? Aha! Suffer writer's block and you'll understand.



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Thursday, July 08, 2010

No Sex In Space?! Think Of The Tension!

NASA commander Alan Poindexter told reporters that sex and romance is banned in outerspace. The funny thing is, the whole article is about three women in space together, LOL. Are they worried about something between them?

I would think zero gravity would make it pretty difficult to assume position, but I'm sure astronauts are very, very smart people and know the ins and outs of outerspace muscle control.

Also, I'd hate to be on that mission to Mars. Man, that's a mighty long time not to have sex. I wonder whether they'd allow vibrators. Of course, if one is lost in outer-space, floating forever, I can't imagine what an alien would make of it when he finds it.



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Tuesday, July 06, 2010

Post #2: Must Let Nora Roberts Boil My Puppy

You come home after a hard day roofing. You're tired. Limping. You're looking forward to a glass of chilled wine, maybe a foot rub, maybe a little furbaby lovin'.

You open the door.

ArggghHHHhhhhHHHHH. That is just the beginning of the trail of destruction. Boiled Pepe Le Pom, coming up.

***For those wondering about the La Nora reference, the Great One once came to my blog after I wrote a little play that included her and jokingly "left in a huff to boil a puppy" because I didn't give her enough lines.



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Mid-year Monologue

Oy. I spent the last few days on holiday--friends in town; 4th of July cookout; decompressing and catching up. All fun but now it's back to work. I hope all of you had a great weekend too, celebrating or just hanging out.

Ir's mid-2010, folks. I haven't accomplished much except lost some weight. I like being able to put on my favorite pair of jeans again, for sure, but I need to lose more to make it feel comfy like before ;-).

The last six months brought a few changes too. My Old Ladies's passing together was one of the sadder memories. But now, I have Pepe Le Pom, who has a personality the size of a whale, so the household is now lively again, what with his antics and determination to fit in with two obstinate furbabies who thought he was going to be a shy thang ;-). Puppies. They are fun but lots of work.

Best book of the year so far: Ilona Andrews' Magic Bleeds (Book 4). My Lord, great, great story--romance and big story arc coming together seamlessly, with lots of action and funny lines. That's what always wins me over--funny, witty dialogue.

Worst fear: My air conditioner, being 14 years old, might be on its last legs. Air conditioners are expensive here and the expense of replacing mine is going to break my wallet. Wah. So I have to start saving $$$ and hope the old thing can lasts another year. Living in the hot south, an air conditioner is a must.

What good book have you read lately and why? I'm going to the RWA conference at the end of the month and am compiling a list of books to buy/get from my favorite authors. It's always fun to go crazy and pick up a bunch of books with a group of friends who are as crazy about reading romances as I am!

I'm also excited about Virtually Hers coming out in print form. Some of my friends who don't read e-books have been waiting for this for a long, long time, and I'm very humbled that they're just as excited as I am. They're all planning to take a day trip to Orlando during the RWA Literacy Signing to get the book. It's a mid-week event (Weds evening) and some of them are literally taking off work early so they could go together. For me, rooferauthor. It makes me feel so blessed to have such great friends and readers.

Share your mid-year news!



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Friday, July 02, 2010

Strike A Pose: Deep Meaning Decomposed, or Naked Men Like To Wrestle Each Other With This Song

Every time I hear this song, my heart starts pounding and I know BIG things are going to happen. Like an alien invasion.

Or humongous space gorillas pounding drums with bones and some giant baby floating above them laughing at the weird monument that shot out of the land like some subliminal message about erections and the future of mankind.

Or lots and lots of slo-mo dying of epic proportions, hopefully, with the good-looking nicely muscled heros (or bad guys) wearing codpieces and capes.

Or when a magic Ring get a bunch of pointy-eared people snarling and frothing.
Or a credit card commercial. Take your pick.

This song is that BIG. And no one could ever sing along because it's full of prophetic words that only the wise understand. Until now. Like klaatu barada nikto--did Keanu even comprehend that phrase? I bet that song would have been in the background while he played with that Robot.

Finally, I get the profundity of this song. It is my duty to share it with you, my dear readers.



Sing along now. Especially when the fireworks are booming overhead this weekend. Feel the BIGNESS.

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Thursday, July 01, 2010

Sure, Spoil My July 4 Plans

In Florida, today marks 140 or so new laws are going on the books. For example, effective today, there will be a ban on owning Burmese pythons. And one can't buy a bong from any stores. To top that, horse thieves who sell horsemeat will be prosecuted; apparently, horsemeat is $40 a lb in South Florida, who knew?

Anyway, that really bummed me out. There goes my plan for the 4th of July weekend. I was thinking about buying a bong and having a good time at home smoking it and then eating a horsemeat burger while playing with my new pet python. Dammit. I guess I'll just do the same old, same old, and go watch some fireworks by the beach. Sigh.

And what are your plans for the weekend, my friends?

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Wednesday, June 30, 2010

Uber Author's Longest Ever Interview

It's Tracy Cooper Posey's OPEN MIC WITH GENNITA LOW. She asked some tough questions. I tried my best to sound intelligent (and sane). Did I succeed? Click over there and find out! And do please comment. Would love to talk to ya.

I know, I know. It's amazing what goes on in my mind besides roofing and mutant poms.

Did I tell you I was roofing an Airborne Ranger's house? He is a magnificent fellow and his wife is too because he calls her the War Department. Every evening, I ask him how he's liking the progress of his new roof, and he replies, "The War Department approves." It amuses me no end.



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Tuesday, June 29, 2010

A Day With Pepe Le Pom

Click to play this Smilebox slideshow: Pepe Le Pom's Day
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Monday, June 28, 2010

Two Blond Guy Jokes

I've been working my ass off this past week. So all I have are two blond jokes and the reason why I'm telling them is because they were told to me by construction guys. About blond guys! That gives them points, right? So here goes:

Blond Guy Joke #1:

Two blond carpenters were working on a house. John, who was nailing down house siding, would reach into her nail pouch, pull out a nail and either toss it over her shoulder or nail it in.

Chuck asked, 'Why are you throwing those nails away?'

John explained, 'When I pull a nail out of my pouch, about half of them have the head on the wrong end and I throw them away because they're defective.'

Chuck got completely upset and yelled, 'You moron! Those nails aren't defective! They're for the other side of the house!'

Blond Guy Joke #2:

Father: I thought I asked you to go out and shovel the snow off the driveway.

Blonde Son: You did, I'm on my way.

Father: But you only have one boot on.

Blonde Son: Well, there's only one foot of snow.

So, there you go. Proof that equal opportunity does happen on construction sites.



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Wednesday, June 23, 2010

RWA Convention Ahead/Signing Virtually Hers!

RT Book Reviews August issue is out on the stands and they gave Virtually Hers, which is coming out in print in Aug., 4 stars. I liked the last line: "Low is back and kicking butt!" Hee. Maybe I can use that on a book cover. Or get a T-shirt with that line.

I'll be signing Virtually Hers at RWA Convention in Orlando too, so I'm doubly excited. That, and the Mammoth Book of Spec. Ops. Romance. And I'm bringing a load of Big Bad Wolf to give away, so I hope many of you will be at the conference! Orlando is an ideal place to hold one, IMO, because you can bring your family along and they can enjoy Mickey Mouse, Sea World, etc., while you indulge in your own novel fantasies ;-).

It's hard to believe July is almost here. I'm trying so hard to get everything done by then, but you know, I swear the clock ticks a bit faster when I'm not looking! Everyday I wake up telling myself I have to do this, and this, and this, and then...work and bills get in the way, phone calls happen, and I have to go somewhere, and before I know it, I'm home all sticky from the sun and my feet hurt, and the mutant poms are demanding their time and food, and I look at the clock desperately, and it's approaching midnight. Crazy, isn't it?

Will you be in Orlando? Some Australian readers are coming and I'm excited to meet them; I love my Australians readers--crazy, happy-go-lucky and just plain fun! The proceeds from the giant Literacy Signing all goes to charity and every year RWA exceeds itself. So do plan on coming, if you're able, especially those living near the Orlando/Florida area. A day trip could be fun! I'm not sure if the Harry Potter World will be open by then, but hey, if it is, you can say you met Nora Roberts AND Harry Potter at the same city ;-).



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Saturday, June 19, 2010

It's Not A Dead Parrot

I'm talking about BP CEO Tony Hayward, you know, the Brit guy on TV with the adorable Gekko accent, the public face of the BP deep ocean oil well explosion disaster. I don't think this man knows that he is the designated whipping boy, and if he does, he sure knows how to make himself sound clueless with his epic rhetorical blunders.

The gems coming out each time he opens his mouth reminded me of Marie Antoinette's purportedly arrogant "Let them eat cake" when confronted by a starving crowd outside the palace doors.

You must speak his lines below in full Monty Python style, and then tell me if you don't agree with me that this guy's eating some soles, and I don't mean the dead fish floating in the polluted Gulf.

I'm rephrasing some of his quotes taken from my Google and Yahoo news feeds. Go check out the news articles yourself and read for yourself his comments about not being an expert and other "gems."

Louisiana/Gulf Residents: "Excuse me, we'd like to register a complaint. There's a leaking oil well in our ocean."

Hayward: "No one wanted to resolve the crisis as badly as I because I'd like my life back."

Ahem. Dear, Mr. Hayward, so do the residents of Louisiana, who lives will NEVER be the same for a long, long time after you've returned home to eat cake.

Before the Senate hearing (I'm paraphrasing and parodying C-Span here, so you have to play along):

Senator: "This is a dead well."

Hayward: "That's irreverent, isn't it?"

Senator: "But it's dead and it's dead because of your company!"

Hayward: "We drill hundreds of wells. I wasn't part of the decision making process on THIS well. Another well that hasn't exploded, yes, but not this one. This one is somebody else's decision."

S: "But you're the CEO!"

H: "But that's irreverent again, isn't it? I'm the CEO, yes, but that doesn't make me an expert.

S: "What then do your oceanography scientists say about the well and the leaking oil?"

H: "Sorry, I'm not an oceanography scientist. Next question?"

S: "But aren't your engineers going to drill a relief well to save the ocean?"

H: "Sorry, sorry, I'm not a drilling engineer either. Just a humble little CEO."

S: "You're stonewalling us!!!"

H: "I'm really, really sorry. Really, I am. Now I have to go to attend to Bob. I need a weekend off to see my precious Bob sail around the Isle of Wight. Lots of millionaires there, you know. Now, I'm an expert of that. You can come along, if you like, but really, it's just me trying to get some family time."

"Bob" is Mr Hayward's yacht and he took the weekend off to take it sailing at a world-famous race. Because, you know, that's what CEO do.

Here, y'all watch the great Monty Python skit below and tell me if Mr. Tony Hayward doesn't sound like he's trying to convince the people the parrot wasn't dead.





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Thursday, June 17, 2010

An Excerpt From Ch 2 Alex and T

I know some of you don't like spoilers, so I posted the excerpt over at FYEO. This is a scene included in my proposal package. More coming soon. Enjoy!

Questions and comments welcomed!

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Tuesday, June 15, 2010

Open Mic -- Uberauthor Gennita Unleashed!

Tracy Cooper Posey, who also writes as Teal Ceagh for Ellora's Cave, has invited me to an "open mic" at her blog. She thinks I have answers! Heh, heh. Truly, I'm honored and flattered to be on her hit list of authors with whom she wants to chat.

Anyway, she's asking for questions from readers--questions that you don't normally get to ask me here, maybe?--on writing, roofing, life being a pom prisoner, and other things that had nagged you forever but for some reason, you were too shy to ask before. Here is your chance! Click on her name and it'll link to her blog. Ask away. I'll lie through my teeth and entertain you with tales about being uber.

And yes, I'll think of a good door prize. No requests for Karaoke! (Leiha, I'm looking at you!)



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Sunday, June 13, 2010

So I'm Supposed To Chalk It Up To Ignorance?

Karate and Kung Fu.

I'm not talking about knowing the intricate movements by eye. I don't expect everyone to be knowledgeable about a Karate kick and a Kung Fu hand slap.

But if I tell you, "My kid is studying Karate," I do expect that 99 percent of you to suddenly visualize Japan, Japanese, sushi, Mr. Miyagi. OTOH, if I say, "My kid is taking up Kung Fu," your brain should instantly connect to images of Chinese, China, Bruce Lee.

Am I taking for granted that my fellow Americans, even those who aren't totally exposed to international culture, in today's 1001 cable channels, 5000 video games, 1,000,000 Youtube connections, should know that Karate is Japanese and Kung Fu is Chinese?

My offhanded joking comment this last week on one of my social networks was just a wry observation at that moment: "Y'all know there's no Karate in Karate Kid (2), right?" Meaning, I was pointing out something that was obvious to me, funny, too, because I know Hollywood ain't that dumb when they named a movie Karate Kid and set it in China with Kung Fu. Hollywood knew the difference.

A commenter remarked that she couldn't tell the difference and didn't really care because she's all about the emotional connection in the story. To me, there are readers out there who correct every "incorrect" historical detail in a historical romance, expressing horror about the use of champagne flutes in such a such a year, etc. Yet, when I pointed out this--to me, quite big--detail, I was told that it shouldn't matter to me.

Why not?

It matters to me, just as it offends many people that all Asians--Chinese, Korean, Thai, Japanese--are lumped together and dismissed as looking "alike." Sure, it's not easy to tell us apart, but these days, most people ask where I'm from originally; they no longer just assume I'm a "Chink" from China. When my friends and I reply, Malaysia, or Singapore, or Thailand, they have an idea about the general locations of those countries.

So, I've been assuming that in the last 25 years, there has been some sort of progress. Am I wrong? Do most of you not know that Karate is Japanese and Kung Fu is Chinese? That it's stupid funny to call a movie Karate Kid when it's set in China with the kid learning Kung Fu?

Again, I'm not talking about knowing the artforms and all their movements. I'm talking about the words themselves.

I wasn't even upset or thinking much about this subject till the online conversation. She didn't know. Okay, I can accept that. But now that I've done my best to help her know, she still didn't care. I don't know whether I can accept that.




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Saturday, June 12, 2010

Pepe Peekaboo

Pepe is emulating Jiggy, which might be a bad thing.

So, Jiggy has a favorite hiding place. The first pic made him famous. So Pepe decided he needs one too. Which alpha male is cuter?




Pepe: "You call that cute? Why, I'm much, much more adorrrrrable. I, too, can look out from under ze chair and watch the lady do her taptaptap theeeng on her stupid computer."




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Friday, June 11, 2010

Rant: A Pet Is Not For You To Do This To

It's called Extreme Grooming. There are magazines dedicated to this newish trend of subjecting one's fluffy furbabies to hours (and HOURS) of being poffed and puffed and pepped so that the owners could show them off in a contest.

For me, pets are meant to be companions, four-legged beings who run like the wind in sheer joy, comfort you when you're down, be the wild child and the good listener, the crazy thing that loves to walk, play, or sit watching TV. As long as you're with him, he's a happy one.

Making him sit for hours and hours and hours of grooming is not fun to him. Would you make your child do this? Oh wait, some parents do....

Sigh.










You know, I've laughed at Halloween pics of pets dressed up as ghouls and vamps, so I do think your furbabies and you can have fun with costumes, but when it's done like this, I think it's more a statement about you and your free time than a pet and you being silly for a special occasion, isn't it?

Man, can you see them taking one of the above babies for a walk? Oh, no, that'd mess up their dyed and coaxed fur! No playing in the grass, Frisky! Can't have you messing up that artsy creation to make you look like a camel! No, no, no, Lassie, bad dog, how many times must I tell you not to crawl under the house to chase the cat? You're a panda bear, not a dog, now sit and chew this fake bamboo stick mommy has made for you.

Gah.


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Wednesday, June 09, 2010

He Has No Name




Jiggle Low is upset and jealous. A new mutant pom is town. Lilah is sort of meh about it.
Jiggy has never shared with a male. They're both alpha. Oh dear.
ETA: Everyone, say hi to Pepe Le Pom!



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Tuesday, June 08, 2010

Today's sexy TOPic of Discussion

Sometimes, a woman's top draws a lot of attention at her job. An employee at Citibank, Debrahlee Lorenza, made national news when she was fired because she was dressed too sexy. If you google her story and pics, you'll find that she wore standard office clothes, which Citibank told her not to, any more because she looked too sexy in them and it drove male employees wild with desire was too distracting for males.

Sure, she does look sexy in them, but I didn't think she looked sleazy at all. I guess male Citibankers where she was employed were walking erections from 9-5pm everyday.

What about the other way round?

When I was totally starving, I went for an “interview” at the then new and popular sportsbar with the capital H in its name. I was told to put on the company tee and be sure to knot it tight, and then to stand in a lineup with these tall, leggy, beautiful young blonde women.

Um, I didn’t get the job. I was told to my face my boobs didn’t fill in the tight teeshirt. My girlfriend, whom I affectionately called Ding-Dong and still do, got the job, though.

The manager wasn’t sympathetic when I told him starvation took away my mammaries. Ah well. :)

Any good stories about your top to add to mine?



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Monday, June 07, 2010

More or Less?

Do you guys like to read snippets and excerpts of ongoing writing? If I enjoy an author, I look forward to any snippets that she poses of her writing-in-progress (WIP). Some friends don't because they hate to wait after reading a short snip or they don't like to be spoiled. But everyone knows I'm a spoiler ho, reading every plotline, secret, and winner of every TV competition ahead of time. I start reading books from the end, that's how bad I am.

So, what about you? If, let's say, I post the next two chapters of T and Alex, that is, the rest of the proposal I'm sending out to an editor, would you skip those posts? Or would that make you happy? Just curious. It's interesting to see how others read. For example, if I'm excited about a novel, I hunt down reviews and like-minded web discussions, just so I could get a before and after experience. I guess, my reading fun encompasses more than just the story itself.



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Winners of Caption

Mr. Jiggle Low picked two winners for the caption. Will Ms Deborah Blake Dempsey and Holly please email me? Both of you won $10 BN gift card. I have the codes ready for you ;-).

Congrats!

I do so like to start Mondays being nice and happy!

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Thursday, June 03, 2010

Cute Quacks

This made me smile. Sometimes momma needs a helping hand! (To start video, click the bottom left arrow, not the one in the middle of the screen)



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Relentless

Time keeps marching at a punishing pace and I can't seem to keep up. I apologize for Virtually One not being out yet. It's my fault. It's not finished and I'm having a bit of a problem with Jed right now.

Admittedly, telling you I'm exhausted from re-roofing doesn't make me feel any better, so I try to wake up at odd hours in the morning to sneak in some writing. I love my writing, but when one has to force oneself for a word count it becomes a chore, you know? I hope you aren't too mad at the delay, but I'll try my best to get the manuscript ready by end of the month. Fingers-crossed.

And now, I must go back to writing (late lunch) and then back on the roof.

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Tuesday, June 01, 2010

To Which I Had No Answer

Today, one roofer declared to me, "Hey, I know all about Shaolin. I watched every episode of Kung Fu."

He wasn't joking.

I wanted to say, "Hey, I know all about Spartans. I watched 300 three hundred times."

But he wasn't joking, you see. So I had no answer.



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DAILY DOSE OF CUTE PUPPINESS

Send My Publisher A Nudge