A Movie Character I Remember

My friend spoiled me on the plot points of the movie, Shutter Island (hey, I'm a spoiler slut), and the story immediately reminded me of another movie I enjoyed from years back.

For those of you who'd watched Shutter Island, try to Netflix or rent the movie called The Ninth Configuration. It's starts out as a weird movie, set in post-Vietnam US about certain inmates in a weird place (a castle here, as opposed to an island), and the appearance of the new military psychiatrist to figure them out. Only, things are never what they seemed. And, there is one heck of a violent payoff scene near the ending that had the audience gasping and cheering.

I was telling my friend that this was pre-Shyamalan, so the concept of a shocking ending was relatively new. Like Shutter Island, The Ninth Configuration was a book first and as far as I know, the movie stayed true to the novel.

Anyway, it starts out talky, with very odd characters, and then wham! Also, Stacy Keach had never looked better--tall, lovely cheekbones, and broad shouldered. That movie made me a lifetime fan of his.

Oh, lovely wonderful 21st century--I just found out that you can catch all nine parts on Youtube:

http://www.youtube.com/view_play_list?p=86C7E6F8FB9598F4

Warning--near the end, that final violent scene can be a bit much for some of you (YMMV).

Through the years, I've shown this movie to several military friends, some of whom are Vietnam Viets, and they were rolling their eyes at the beginning, thinking this was some typical talky movie analyzing them, and then WHAM! by that ending scene, they were all screaming at the screen too ;-). So I hope that kind of gut reaction is still there for today's more CGI-stunted movie-antics worldly audience.

(Mo, you'll have a great time dissecting this tortured soul. I know you will ;-P)

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Characters That Stand Out

Like most self-employed people, I'm deep in Taxes Doodoo at the moment. Did you know that the IRS has videos on YouTube?! I know, right...need help? Just go to Youtube...every darn thing there, including helpful hints from the IRS. I can't decide whether the Information Age is pervasive or invasive.

I'm loving all your thoughts about the hero/heroine characteristics from my previous post. Please continue to give me your opinions and ideas in the comment area. I'll write a more conclusive post about the topic once I'm out of the government paperwork. As it is, I think I'm going to have an awesome panel at RT!

Definitely, the name, James Bond, strikes a chord with people, fan or not. He's part of the cultural vernacular, an icon that stereotypes a certain ideal. Can you think of a couple of character names that have stuck around with us, be it from a romance book (or any other genre) or a TV show that brings instant recognition to people (or at least, fans of that genre)? Especially heroines. Off the top of my head, I have a few nominations:

Buffy
Count Dracula
Sherlock Holmes
Nancy Drew
Eve Dallas and Roarke
Dr. Who
Stephanie Plum
Jed McNeil Heh, heh, couldn't resist, sorry
Jack Bauer
Gidget and Moondoggy
Steve McGarrett
Wolf McKenzie (and his sons!)
Mr. Darcy
Heathcliffe

I threw out the above names to my roofers and crapenters and they recognize 80 percent of them. You guess it--they failed in the romance book dpt. (Wolf, Mr. Darcy) but hey, one actually knew who Jed McNeil was, LOL. That made me laugh. Very heartily. I called my bookseller friend up and she recognized all the names. We readers are such well-rounded people :-).

When I give the introduction to my panel discussion, I'll definitely mention a few of these names and maybe get a show of hands. That would certainly bring home to the attendees why memorable characters make a story, right?

Do you have any for me?

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Feed Me

I have two re-roofs to do before the end of the month when I fly off to the RT Convention in Columbus, OH. That's cutting it close, between weather, luck, and waiting for permits and inspectors. It's been back to working to 7 or 8pm at night this past week--not complaining but my body is! And tax time is coming up too! Why, why, why do pile-ups like this happen to me? :P

Anyway, here's a dateline assignment that you might be able to help me with. One of the Romantic Suspense panels I'm moderating is called Bond, James Bond, and I've invited three male and two female authors.

I have an idea about questions I'd be fielding, but would love to hear your suggestions too. From the topic, the general idea is to focus on the authors' main characters--how they work and why they work within their stories and how they appeal to the fans of those books. Just like James Bond, ya know? You hear the name, you immediately know who and what he is, and certain things about him appeal to different fans--his debonair suaveness for the players; his high-tech toys for the geeks; and his tall, dark, ruthless self for those of us that like eye candy with a dangerous flair.

So, if you could just throw me a couple of bones to gnaw on. Here are some general questions for you to get specific on, and the more specific, the better, since then I can steal your wonderful ideas to make my panel more interesting! It doesn't need to focus on the romance because a few of the writers aren't writing full-out romantic suspense. I'll expand more on the following questions afterwards so you don't just say "ditto" to my thoughts because that isn't going to help me at all, you know :).

1) What attracts you to the hero/heroine/main character?

2) Something characteristic

3) Bond kills. Killing factor in novels

4) Balance of romance and suspense. In Bond? Relationship? Growth?

5) Power balance

6) Point of View

7) Why you can't put the book down

It'd be so helpful if you could pick a couple of points and run with it here. I want the panel to be the Most Awesomest Evah. Ha. Actually, I want to engage my guests and the attendees in an interesting conversation that would give a clear idea why certain characters attract many readers/fans, thus giving those who are writing some insight into tightening their own novels as well as those who are just fans a good time discussing their favorite authors' characters.

Okay, then. I roof, you write.

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Winner: Bourne Is Uber Spy Bitch!

Okay, the poll for Bourne vs Bond (Craig) is done and Bourne won 66 percent to Bond's 33 percent. Whoa. I honestly didn't think it would such a landslide ;-). So, are you saying Bond is McCain, heroic, yes, but still old and out of touch? Heh, heh. Kidding, kidding, Bond fans. After all, me lurv Da Tux.

I suppose we like the Unemotional Assassinator more because he was just uber-efficient even without his memory. His storyline (memory loss, yet wow, look at the skillz, inside conspiracy) was fascinating compared to Bond's, which was the usual uber world domination. Bourne also was on the run, which puts the audience on his side, going along with him on the ride. Bond was mostly on the chase, especially in QoS, even though he was one or two steps slower than the bad guys occasionally.

Nonetheless, I was shallow enough to vote for Bond because Bourne is missing the seductiveness of the Bond smile ;-) and the occasional nonchalant humor as he tosses his lines.

Strange woman in speeding car: "Get in."
Bond: "All right."

Strange woman: "There's a car behind us."
Bond: "Probably not to give you a speeding ticket."

Bourne would just go all Terminator and won't take the time for a bit of romancing. Tsk. Takes the fun out of spying, if you ask me.

I love me my Bourne, don't get me wrong. After all, techno-thrillers is my thing, what with all that mind-control/sleeper stuff going on. Huh. Where did I read that before...***grin*** I haven't read the later Ludlum books that were ghost-written, by the way--are they any good? Do they read different to you?

On an aside note: I wonder whether His Jedness is more Bourne or Bond?

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Quantum of Solace: Bond, A Very Pissed-Off Bond

Guess where I've been? ;-)

Who would walk out of the desert with a beautiful lady, still in a tuxedo, after falling out of an aeroplane WITHOUT a parachute and climbing out of a deep cavern in dress shoes, and manage to remain kissably cool?

Yup. It's him, Mr. Bond, uberest spy of them all.

I've never seen a Bond this angry and I like it. Quantum of Solace wasn't just about the SeKrit ProJek but also the state of mind. Of Bond's, that is. Pissed-off, he is, more so than devastated, like everyone's telling him, about the death of Vesper, his lover from Casino Royale. There were a few moments of angst, but really, this movie projected his regret and loneliness more so than of pain. All the secondary characters, from M to the old friend, told him that he had this "angst about lost love" problem but me, I don't buy it. Mr. Bond was just very, very pissed-off at having been tricked.

The action sequences were breathtaking, especially the beginning one, with its Bourne Ultimatum-like chase. It also reminded me for some reason of Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon's relentless one-on-one chases, with hero and bad guy(s) able to fly through the air and escape bullets while performing Olympic-calibre body twists. Of course, the sport of spying meant lots of bloody bodies left in Bond's wake. It's interesting to see this other Bond. A pissed-off Bond, it seems, doesn't have the last second smarmy snarky repartee; attack him and you die.

You can actually see the difference by comparing the earlier kills with that of the last scene which was trademark Bond-As-We-Know-In-Later-Movies. Here, no-longer-pissed Bond obligingly released our bad dude in a way that guaranteed a bad ending, with a final very smarmy snarky repartee that included a can of motor oil (you'll understand the significance when you watch the movie).

Like I said, this Bond is different and I like it. It's pre-Bond, so everything that suggested to us of the uber-spy we know held significance. His smooth transition from thug by just wearing a stolen tux. His first taste of a drink for which he didn't have a name. The uber-alpha thing about him that made the women all weak-kneed and willing to help him, in spite of orders to the contrary, as noted by his boss, M, at the end.

I think Bond said this line twice: "I don't think the dead cares about vengeance." He meant it, even though the other characters didn't understand its significance. He wasn't avenging the deaths of the dead because he cared or he was hurting. He was just Pissed-Off. Vengeance is for the living, as demonstrated so effectively by Bond Babe, Camille, in the movie. His superior kept questioning the point of it all, if uber-spies just killed the enemy without any reason. To this Bond, at this moment, if nothing else, it was a quantum of solace, a measure of comfort.

Umm yeah. Enough character study!

Shallow observation: What I don't like about the movie? One nano-sec of a shirtless Bond. ONE! WTF? Solace is fine, but next time, movie-makers, more skin, less tux, por favor. Plus: Fantasies of chewing on Craig's lower lip are mounting. Yes, I said mounting.

Snickeristic Bond Babe Name: Agent Strawberry Fields. Bwahaha.

Alas note: Amy Winehouse should have sang the theme song. Alicia Keyes just didn't exude that world-weary sexuality. The song was horrible, actually.

Bestest scene: Opera house, when Bond interrupted the very unique conversation among some power players AND got them to show their faces. So uber-Alpha, so Bond, so what I lurve about Uber-Spy Tactics ;-).

Last note: The usual Bond and crosshair moving to the Bond music theme sequence didn't show up till the very end of the movie. To me, that signifies the "arrival" of the Bond-that-we-know. So STOP complainin', people. Your usual Bond bonbons are coming.

So, did you see the new Bond movie? Like or not?

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I See Rude People

Do you guys live under the thumb of the Home Association Nazis? Most newer subdivisions now have them and the wealthier the neighborhood, the more Nazi-like they get. For example, where I helped Ranger Buddy moved into, which is a gated community, you aren't allowed any "debris" in your truck. Meaning, they actually sneak up to your truck at night, shine a light into it and check it for construction stuff. If it's there, you get a ticket. Or, if you're having a party, you can't have people parking all over the roadside. They all have to park at this huge parking lot by the club house and then you have to drive each of your guests to your house. I kid you not. And being a gated community, you can't get visitors after certain hours without your being by the phone to approve them. But that's for a wealthy neighborhood and yes, I imagine most retired wealthy folks like to live rigidly like that.

In MOST other subdivisions, the Homeowners Association (HOA) usually just make sure things don't go overly ugly--like the homeowner who hasn't cut his lawn in weeks and the grass is a foot tall, or if he decides to put a sofa in his front yard and sits there to drink beer at night, or if he parks his huge trailer on the grass and rents it out, or if he decides to repair appliances in his driveway. Usually, it will start with a letter or two before they get all legal about it.

I have been watching the local news lately and the local HOAs have been getting some sort of Nazi-like Virus. One HOA is trying to fine several homeowners in their subdivision for having dead grass, which is something, as one homeowner points out, he can't control because we're having a draught this past year and we aren't allowed to water our lawns more than twice a week. It's a hefty fine--$100 a day! This is reported on the news, but the poor man still have to go to court (time and money) to get this problem resolved.

Then there is this other HOA that's trying to get this man to take down his flag pole. They say it's too high. Lord knows why a tall pole flying the American flag would be "unsightly" or would bring down property values, but anyway, same thing--fines and liens. The man fought this particular HOA in court and the publicity was so big that our governer, Charlie Criss, had to sign in a new law that HOA cannot make homeowners take down a flag pole under 20 feet tall. The man's pole? 19 feet ;-).

Anyway, this NAZI BUG has bitten my HOA. The other morning there was a pounding on my door (didn't ring my doorbell). I opened the door, still in my pajamas, my hair all tangled. A grim looking woman in a notepad was standing there.

Did she greet me? Did she have a pleasant demeanor?

No, of course not. She has the all important job of being the HOA biotch and that gives her the power to just look at me and scold, with that terse look of "yes me powerful" on her face: "You need to powerwash your sidewalk and driveway. They look terrible. And cut back on your plants and bushes. They are horrible."

Wow. Good morning to you too. I just stood there and looked at her. "Okay," I said.

"Follow me, so I can show you what to cut."

Wow. Are you kidding me? Follow you on MY property so you can tell me about MY horrible bushes? "No," I said, very politely.

She stopped moving and looked at me. I think it was in shock. "You don't want to follow me?"

"Not really."

"You'll clean the place up by the time I come back next week?"

Where is this woman's Nazi uniform? I shrugged. "Maybe."

"What do you mean, maybe?"

"Well, I haven't worked in four months," I told her. "I don't have the money to pressure clean anything. I'd rather use it to pay my mortgage."

Not a whit of sympathy on her expression. "Well, you can cut back on these bushes," she said, nodding to my rose bush that has several branches sticking into the walkway. To be honest, it is a wild-looking thing, but if you don't walk up my walkway to my front door (meaning, IF YOU DON'T VISIT ME AT ALL), you won't get attacked by my the branches.

"Sure, if I have time," I replied politely.

"It's really ugly," she said.

"Not as ugly as you," I muttered. Okay, I sort of lost my temper here.

"What?" she asked, not sure she heard me.

"Yes, really ugly," I said, keeping a straight face. "Can I go now? I'm, like, in the middle of sex when you rang the door bell. Can't keep him waiting too long, you know?"

I was being honest. I was writing a sex scene. But the Nazi Biotch doesn't need to know right? Not unless she reads this blog.

You know, I don't have a lot of roofing work right now. I think I'll run for the HOA board. Bring this bitch down. I bet I'll have quite a number of votes from those people whose doors she pounded on that morning. OTOH, I can't abide meetings. Maybe I'll just find out her name and address and after writing her as a fictional plant Nazi being chased by some maneating species in my next story, send the book to her with my compliments. Yeah. ;-)

You just wait. I'll catch her one of these nights looking at the back of old work trucks and telling me I can't have debris in them. You can always tell when someone who doesn't work for a living has just been voted onto an HOA board and is tasting the giddy Koolaid of Power. They drink and turn into Nazis.

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Uber Books That People Make Fun Of

I finally found a hotel in NYC midtown that didn't cost me an arm and a leg. Just an arm, but seeing my leg is lost to my car insurance deductible, I'm going to be quite noticeable in NYC ;-).

Technology is so helpful these days. Not. Do you know it takes approximately 4-6 weeks for a copy of a Police Report to be sent from Charleston, SC. to Macon, GA., where my Geico office is? I guess they are using the turtle express instead of a fax machine. So anyway, my car's repair is in limbo waiting for this phantom report of a crime that no one cares to solve. Paper pushers. Now you know where Rick Harden's hate come from ;-).

We all hate the power of the paper pushers, don't we? Damn bullies. ;-P

Which gives me the perfect segue to a discussion I was having:

After I admitted to a certain liking of the Harlequin Presents tycoon "brutes," a forum-buddy posted a question about my guilty pleasure in reading these books. Some of my favorite authors from that line are Helen Bianchin, Michele Reid, Robyn Donald, and Susan Napiers. They have been around for decades, so I'm very familiar with their works, some of which I reread and consider keepers. Anyway, she commented that she didn't understand about the love for these tycoon stories, especially since they are just like school playground bullies to her.

Here is my reply to her (and I give myself permission to post my own words, ahem):

I understand. It's, perhaps, the wrong word to use; there's a difference between the tycoon brute and the playground bully. Whereas there is a super-protective streak in the former, the latter is just basically into power and gain over the weak.
This isn't a defense of the tycoon brute of the 80s at all, since some of them were rather high-handed, to say the least, where their women's freedom was concerned. When I was reading them during my teens, I was caught up by the emotional charge in every scene--the sexual power struggle between the female and the male. It was all very exciting and mysterious, this thing called sexual tension ;-).

Today, in spite of being bashed in the head repeatedly that women are powerful creatures ;-), I'm still fascinated by the depiction of power in an unequal romance. Because to me, the emotional highs and lows of this type of story can't be found anywhere else because of political correctness in today's romances, be it historical or contemporary.

Some readers can suspend their disbelief about vampires being walking corpses (heh). Some push away the analytical awareness of bestiality in a werewolf/animal romance. These two examples are given the subgenre title PARANORMAL, so that seems to be a silent okay to cross the line in using certain romance genre taboos.

Being a fan of paranormal books, from sci-fi romance to urban fantasy, I totally get it. I lose myself in those stories precisely because of the crossing the line stuff--the power struggles, the sexual exploration (besides the magic hooha as the savior of the universe stuff), the three or four potential heros, the near-rapes and dark seductions.

However, use the same elements minus the blood-sucking and "we are mates" talk in a very urbane setting, such as gabillionaires (power being) and model/secretary/simple working girl (human/normal), and disdain and phrases like "why do these books even exist?" are tossed like rotten tomatoes.

I think, the readers who love these books read them because they have emotional power. It's a different world, just as a sci-fi/fantasy is, but with elements that aren't techy or complicated or metaphysical. It's a world of glamor and bitchy women, or super-snobbish in-laws (the evil stepmother syndrome), or just very basic emotions--jealousy and possessive love--stripped of all sophistication in a "sophisticated" world.

Admittedly, they are still mind-candy. It all has to do with my mindset when I read them. I'm not looking for complication here; I just want my "greek-god" tycoon (ignore all current googled photos of shipping magnates, please) to notice my ice-cold socialite (secretaries are actually quite rare these days)/executive assistant and then the chase is ON! And there will be no side-stories or jumping around from thread-to-thread, it's straight chocolate, munch-munch-munch, till the tycoon goes down on his knees, baby! And requisite with diamonds and mention of exotic cities and oh, a villa, of course. Cannot not have the villa.

I know quite a few of you still enjoy the old-school romance, the so-called "bodice rippers" that are keepers on your shelves. Many are discussed under topics such as "Ugh, horrible brutal hero" or "Die, scum, die!" A notable author often brought up is Christine Monson, whose pirate historicals are, to say the very least, very, VERY politically incorrect. There are always very strong reactions to her books. Another author's works often being cited is Johanna Lindsey's older historicals, which consisted of a lot of kidnapping and rapes/near-rapes/virginal seductions.

Most readers who've been reading romances since the 70s have enjoyed this kind of books at one time or another. Some of us may even cringe that we did; some of us still actually enjoy them when the mood strikes us.

It is an inexplicable thing, this feeling evoked by a romance we enjoy. We can make fun of the elements separately when we discuss about them--the kidnapping by the prince, the matyrdom while being humiliated, the long, long flowing hair that never gets tangled in spite of being tossed about by callous men and waves and whatnot, the heroine with the sharp tongue who seems to just melt with one kiss. However, when the package is put right, some of us old-schoolers can still delve into those scenes and get sucked into the story just as badly as those who cannot resist JR Ward's rapping vampires, even though they hate the brothuh-language, the leather, the inequality between the sexes.

Technology enriching and speeding lives? So not, judging from all the phone-chasing I do and the inability of the storegirl to tabulate without her machine when it's down. Old-school romance vs newer edgier romance? Those old school romance sometimes seem to have been edgier, taking more risks than today's Lord of Sluts Who Are Really Spies in Love with the Bluestocking Heroine starting some School for Bluestocking Heroines.

My point is, the more things change, the more they remain the same, not so?

What is your guilty pleasure book that you just know everyone is going to make a face at, and wonder at your IQ and female sensibilities if you admit that you love it now still? You can tell me! I'm, after all, outing myself as one of those readers who don't mind propping up The Tycoon's Virgin Bride's Secret Baby for a couple hours of happy munching.

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Uber Spy Is Unloving-able

Heading to Charleston for the Low Country Workshop this Friday, folks! I'll be driving and without my usual roadtrip buddy, sniff*. I'm also going to so miss my little Jiggle Low. He's been a shadow and actually likes to climb on top of me to sleep ;-P. So much so, that he's become an argument between me and the S.O. because well, the bad puppy thinks I'm his and no males are allowed to sleep close by. It amuses me no end.

So poor Jiggle Low is going to be without his momsie for the weekend. Sigh. Only I can get so darn connected to a furbaby.

His Jedness, in one scene, had to be in one country while Hell was working in another. This is the first time he'd ever kept wondering (I call it worrying, but he keeps saying it's wondering) about another operative's safety. It's all about his actions, that Jed, because he uses those big words from that dictionary of his to obsfucate the truth. ;-) He would disagree, of course.

I received an email yesterday which complained that Jed isn't a loving kind of character. I'm not sure how to respond to that. Going to have to sit on this and brood about it. There are many words I'd use to describe His Jedness but "loving" wouldn't be one of them.

The email went on to say that that since the hero is so "unlovingable," (is this word in Jed's dictionary?), then the romance between my heroine and him is also unacceptable. I wanted to pound out a quick reply to say, "Whoa...I haven't even gotten to the romance yet, dear reader!" But I stopped myself.

Part of my dilemma is a pseudo-rule I set for myself about fan/reader mail. Without a specific question, I will not write an explanation or defense of my story or my characters. A reader has the right to his/her opinion, and even the worst criticism is part of the writing for the public process.

For example, remember that hate-mail from that librarian dude who wrote that my book was trash? I know I gave a tongue-in-cheek reply saying that he must have wandered into the wrong aisle, but I also tacked on the suggestion that he returned the book, since he hated it so much. It was only when he replied several times after that to add that I should be ashamed of myself for writing his equivalent of excrement and that in future, I shouldn't write books like VHis anymore, and that if I don't follow his advice, my writing career will be a nothing, that I took offense. Yeah, hate the book, fine, but don't tell me what I can or cannot write.

So this reader feels VHis is a failed romance because Jed is "unlovingable" and doesn't "communicate his love." Then she tacked on, "The hero sucks so better luck next time." Argghhhhhhhhh.

Jiggle Low tells me what he thinks by his actions. The bad boy still lifts his legs and pees to mark his dominance. Unacceptable. Especially when he does it to the pillow on which someone else has slept. Totally unromantic. But he's communicating his feelings to me. There are different ways to communicate love. Just saying.

I need some sexy veges. They always put me in my Zen place.

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