Uber Roofer Can Frighten People Off In The Morning

Here's a funny morning spew...

I scared the Bug Guy. He came to spray the windows with bug-stuff and I totally forgot about him. I woke up and went to the garage to throw something and was shocked to see my garage door open. Apparently some plant blocked its passage down and it came back up last night when I hit the close button. Apparently, also, I didn't notice this and so the door had remained open all night. And this morning the Bug Guy was standing right in front of it, looking straight in.

Anyway, I was HALF NAKED. I only had this shirt on with one button close (I thought I would be inside a CLOSED garage), so half my boobs were hanging out like some glamor shot from Sports Illustrated. Except that I looked like a wild hag with my hair all tangled, without make up, teeth unbrushed, no coffee in my bloodstream, and with the last few days so HELLISH on the roof, I was a walking zombie carrying, of all things, garbage. And the shirt just covered the top of my beautiful white thighs, which probably blinded Bug Guy.

I went Eeeekkk. Okay, it was a Very Loud Eeeeeeek. The Bug Guy went Argghhhh. A horrified and terrified Argghhhhhhh. I dropped my garbage, then flapped the air like that would make the garage door come down by itself. I probably looked like an insane woman about to attack him. He dropped his Bug Apparatus. I showed off more boobs since I dropped my garbage.

Then, feigning nonchalance, since I wasn't going to RUN BACK INTO THE HOUSE, I said Hi and INVITED him in. I know him, btw, because he's been here before; he's old enough to be my granddad. Okay, not that old. But he's a nice old guy. Anyway, he got quite an eyeful this morning as I walked around the house with him in my one buttoned shirt, pretending that nothing was wrong. I'm sure he went back to the office with a story about that crazy Asian girl.... Too bad he wasn't younger ;-).

No, wait, I don't want a younger man to see me like that!!!

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