Uber Roofer Scares Them All

It was so hot and humid yesterday, I did the unthinkable...I worked in my bikini top ;-). I hadn't done this in a LOoooooong time. Needless to say, Gennita Low hanging from a roof in a bikini can be both good and bad.

Bikini tops used to be my favorite outfit about a decade ago. My decision to stop sun damage had much to do with the way I dress these days, which is more about armor than beauty. I literally wrap myself in long sleeves and pants to avoid the sun. So, men's memories of a younger Gennita in her skin exposure days fade through the years...until yesterday. LOL. Ah. They think an old harrigan like me, swathed in protective clothing, doesn't have much else left than a nasty temperament, you see. Heh.

Uber roofer killed some young men yesterday. Just saying.

I was exhausted last night, fell into bed and slept for twelve hours. This is killing my writing schedule. I had meant to take a nap, but by the time I opened my eyes, it was way too late at night to even try to focus on Helen and her Monitor. Sigh. Even the furbabees are complaining at my neglect.

Have you ever slept that long and then wake up behind in everything? That's me today.

Speaking of twelve, that reminds me. Here's an interesting article on cliffhangers in writing by Twelve Sharp author, Janet Evanovich. Do you, as readers, like to be left hanging at the end of a romance? Because that was what JE did in Book Five of her Stephanie Plum series.

In Virtually His, I'd debated whether to leave the reader hanging about the monitor's identity at the end of the book. The second book, Virtually Hers, is coming out a few months after that, so it wouldn't have been a long wait. Anyway, I didn't. Which is a good thing, since I think y'all would have killed me ;-).

Mantra for today: Stay awake. Write. Stay awake. Write.

P/S. I answered Anon2's question in the comment area from yesterday but Beware Of Spoilers. And more questions are welcome but please check out the EXCEPTION RULE at the end of the post from "Uber Author Trudging In Mud." (June 28)

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Uber Ranger Hotness!

No, no, not Ranger Buddy! You're scaring me, girlfriends!

From the Book Standard:

Mystery novelist Janet Evanovich's Twelve Sharp beat out Dan Brown's The Da Vinci Code and James Frey's A Million Little Pieces in selling the most copies during a single week so far in 2006, as reported by The Book Standard's sales-tracking sibling, Nielsen BookScan. The latest in Evanovich's numbered Stephanie Plum series, Twelve Sharp, sold 163,000 in its debut week, landing it at the No. 1 spot on The Book Standard's Overall and Fiction Charts, to be updated tomorrow for the week ending June 18.

Important question to all JE fans: are you a Cupcake or a Ranger Babe? ;-)

I'm a Ranger Babe and don't mind Stephanie Plum rolling around the sheets with His Hotness, as I call him, in spite of it being really against all romance rules for the heroine to cheat on her boyfriend (and Morelli is her boyfriend, after all). But you see, I have never considered the Plum series as romance, so that makes it all right in my book. Bahahaha.

I read Twelve Sharp last night. It's hawt. It's perfect. It's filled with Ranger hotness and Ranger goodies and Steph isn't too stupid in her usual clueless bounty hunter role. I just lurv me some Ranger Hotness. Don't get me wrong, Morelli is hot too but Ranger has a coolness and edge that just wins me every time. And if I were Steph, I would be one confuzzled (but lucky) girl too.

Cupcake fans worldwide are gnashing their teeth, screaming that Steph is being unfaithful. But as one of my friends say, "Screw the Cupcakes, it's Ranger Babe time!" Heehee. And to prove it, Twelve Sharp sold a LOT more copies in its first week than the previous books. Ranger Babes Rule! When our man, His Hotness, prowls in a JE book, we come alive!

It's so much fun when a book takes off like this and everyone gets into a discussion, deep or not, about the characters. I love it. If you haven't read the Stephanie Plum books before, give it a try. Just go in not expecting it to be romance...it's about a female bounty hunter who's pretty inept and her life choices. Her family and circle of friends, by the way, is insanely hilarious.

***********************

Here are two questions from readers:

Anonymous said...
All right, Miss Low, here's a question for you about your writing world. When will we see another SEAL book? I'm in love with your STAR SEALs and now that I've read all three of them, I need more! How about Cucumber? I'll even settle for Dirk because I think he's keeping secret! It doesn't have to be a primary romance. You can write them as secondary romances. When, when, when?

I'm contracted to write three book right now, all under the the Super Soldier Spy series, so I won't be writing about SEALs (unless as secondary characters) for the next year.

I know I do have a story about Cucumber in my head, how he inherited a bed and breakfast diner in Charleston. ;-) It's one of those places with froufrou beds and furniture from the Civil War. Cucumber had to spend the night on one of those beds. ;-) But...I don't know if I'll get a chance to write the whole story. Dirk is another interesting SEAL that I'd love to explore too. He gets to go on a trip to the South Pole. You see? I have all the stories. It's a matter of selling the stories.

joannaimp said...
Do you have plans to try another genre? I think you should do humor.

Thanks, Joanna! I would love to write in another genre, like paranormal/scifi adventure. I have these stories in my head with Chinese mythical characters that I think would be kind of cool to explore. The genre is ripe for something a little different too. I keep asking myself how Nora Roberts can do it--write ten books a year. Sigh. I need her secret.

Any more questions? Any Ranger Babes out there who I can highfive with? I'm definitely feeling a lot better than yesterday...thanks for being here for me!

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Uber Author Trudging In Mud

MOOD TODAY:



It's been awfully humid and hot lately and not conducive to both roofing and writing. I usually do fine in the hot sun but this year, I've been coming home exhausted and unwilling to use my brain for writing. Sometimes that scares me because of course, there is this DEADLINE looming over my head.

Factoid: Deadlines don't seem to scare or bother Muse.

I hear advice about delegating my business...you know, hiring people, doing less. I'm actually already doing a lot less than I should and in roofing in this part of the world, either you go very, very big (ala huge roofing company) or very, very small, like my partner and me. Anything in between is a not a money-maker because insurance will kill you.

And besides, this has been a business I've owned for nearly half my adult life. It's not easy to say, okay, NEXT, when you have a partner and years and years of tax records filed somewhere ;-).

Factoid: People like to give advice on writing AND business.

Anyway, to stay relaxed but not sleepy in the evening, I've started to read quite a bit. Good books fire up my creative juices. Of course, the reading takes away my writing time. Also, I like to have a glass of wine when I'm enjoying my fantasies. LOL. I'm in so much trouble.

What do you do when you're feeling abit overwhelmed? Okay, stressed to the max? How do you keep from walking off the edge?

Here's a way to fire myself up sometimes: For this week, if you have ANY questions on the GLow world characters and events, EXCEPT for the IDENTITY OF Helen's Monitor/Trainer, you may ask them here and I'll try to clarify them. Like any writer, talking about my characters always gives me incentive and strength to climb over the wall of Fuzzy Plotting.

EDITED TO ADD:
Romantic Times have added some videos of the convention in Daytona Beach. Here's the link:

http://romantictimes.com/news_conv06a.php

I'm not sure whether I like this format rather than their previous photos section.

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Growing Up To Be Uber-Somethings

I attended one of my best friends' birthday party for her TEN YEAR OLD boy yesterday and had so much fun I can't wait for his TWENTIETH birthday. My friends, John and Jane Kennedy (I'm not kidding), are famous for their parties; Jane (yes, she was my part time assistant who called and screamed at me for the crime of an unopened box (click to read old post) filled with make-up left in the garage for eons) is the ultimate planning and organizing queen. She once gave a 4th of July party that took over the entire street with a giant blown-up bouncing clown sitting in the middle of the road. I brought along a young SEAL to the party and he was thoroughly impressed by Jane's fireworks ;-).

Anyway, the party had kids ranging from 8-16 (Stevie's brother is about 16) and Jane had the kids diving for free silly presents in a trashcan filled with confetti (even the cool teenagers loved it) and they were jumping in and out of the pool trying to get rings from the floor. I don't mix around much with kids so it was sheer fun just to watch them all playing and not acting anything like TV kids.

We ate pizza and Stevie opened presents and I'm amazed at the gifts, along with the $$$ gifts. Wow. He made hundreds of dollars! ;-) When I was ten, I received...umm...hmm, nothing too memorable. Stevie got a small saxaphone! Some kid called it a jazz flute, which I thought was pretty cute.

At the end of the day, as the party wound down, the older kids got together in a corner of the house and "jammed," using their kewl electronic guitars and digital drums that they could control the volume. We adults sat in the back porch and drank and reminisced about music and wild concerts that we attended a thousand years ago, and then laughed because the kids were PLANNING to see the same folks in action, only for hundreds of dollars more. Of course, then we started talking about how different we were when we were kids--without the digital stuff and conveniences. We sounded like our own parents: why, when we were THEIR age, backpacks had no rollers and we had to walk ten miles to school! Without a skateboard! Heehee.

Even the ages of all my friends on this blog are pretty significant. There are a few college students in their early, early twenties and a few of us are grandmothers. Some of you would remember the days BEFORE cable TV and some of you would be wondering how we spent our free time without the Internet. My memories of growing up in Malaysia, a Third World country at that time, contrast vastly with my sisters, who were a lot younger and so experienced a different Malaysia.

Quick, can anyone remember when flight attendants were air-hostesses? ;-) And that they served real food to EVERYONE on the plane? And...and...a concert ticket to see The Rolling Stones was just $15.00? Last check: $500 and more to see the old farts at binocular seats.

Ahhhh...memories are fun, aren't they?

But would you sing like this at ANY party????! Poor Connie Chung went insane when her show was canceled--no goodbye extravaganza ala PerkyFace of NBC, so she serenaded her ownself:



Yikes. That's uber-ugly.

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Some Spies Are Uber Wealthy

Mood today:

I titled this photo "Self-Contemplation." I spent my first off-day in months looking over my world, moving things around, trying to get caught up. But sometimes it's important to pause and look up and back, to see how far you've gone and the path ahead. And most important of all, acknowledge your choices, past and present.

OW.

That was my Shallow Self telling me to shut up. ;-) Monday, Monday.

BOOK NEWS:

My old publisher has sold the foreign rights to The Hunter to a Macedonian publisher! Yeeha. Macedonians do speak Croatian and Serbian, so they already know what Hawk meant when he said, "Ja sam gladna." I'm excited...will the story and cover be the same? Or will they give it a John de Salivate pirate historical cover like they did to a Cherry Adair book? (foreign books don't care that modern spy suspense romances don't have historical pirates)

My research of all things quantum (quantum mechanics, quantum entanglement, quantum shadows) has gone toooooo big. It's time to stop. I have to tell myself this in writing because if I don't, I'd start getting more and more entangled. Heh. I'm punning with physics terms now. I still don't know how to make that "lightbulb" idea work in relation to how my hero and heroine communicate, but it's so fun to pretend I'm smart and talk science when I have no idea what I'm talking about! After all, you're talking to a girl who has trouble explaining how a cassette tape records things on those reams of string-like film and here we are already in the new epoch of HD-CD, so of course I'm going to insert quantum entanglement theories into my books. HAHAhahahahahahaha.

When in doubt, turn to magic. I also spent the day reading Karen Marie Moning's Spell of the Highlander. Yes! Hunky Highlander Druid. Dark mirror. HotHAWThot man. Yum. And what a cover! I doona think Virtually His will get such fine treatment. ;-) Maybe I can get Helen to say some magic spell instead of explain quantum theory...hmm...

I heard this morning that Warren Buffett, the second richest man on earth, is giving 85% of his 40 billion-plus dollars to the richest man on earth, Bill Gates. Actually, to Bill Gates' charity foundation. Billion as in 1,000,000,000.00. Did I get the number of zeros correct? (can't wait to one day write that cheque! I remember my first BIG check...I wrote it to...sheesh...Mr. Jobs, Bill Gates' ex-bestest friend! About $3000.00 or something horrible like that, for the Apple IIE. It was a big check for a 20 year old. My boyfriend was impressed, heh.)

Anyway, 85% of 40 billion is...umm...LOTS. Now that's a man who's self-contemplating. He ain't worried about no stinkin' quantum entanglement.

So what do you say to such news? Well, fine. I'll balance the world with a shallow announcement:

SOCCER PLAYERS CAN BE PRETTY TOO!

Check out the names on the back of these players' shirts...bwah!

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Yogi Spy

Research on the web will take you to the weirdest places. Take that, Kirk. To counter yesterday's serious post, click on the video below.

This is taken from a site that teaches LAUGHING as meditational medicine. I think it was called The Laughing Yogi Home Study Tape, or something like that. I couldn't get the video, but of course, the world's full of clever little teenage techy spies who could do it! ;-)



Do you think he's serious?!

I was doing more research last night on high tech stuff. Somehow, I got on a cloning page. Did you know that it will only cost you $32,000 to clone your pet cat? Dogs are going to be more expensive but you can keep his tissue (taken during a painless biopsy) in the gene bank indefinitely. Wow. I need to write more books....

Seriously, there are thousands of people looking into cloning their pets. Not themselves. Not their RL children or lovers. Pets.

The best story on human clones that I've ever read, by the way, is in the Dunes series. Duncan Idaho, and his clones. This important secondary character overshadowed the main characters of all the books and I adored him. Now that's an Alpha warrior I would love to make into a romance hero. Frank Herbert even gave him a couple of sex scenes ;-).

For even more spoofy fun, here is a skit that cracked me up. You know how rap music is supposed to be about the "real life" and its rawness. Well, here's a rap song from SNL for those of us who like to do less violent things in life:



Have a good weekend! And do the laughing exercises! I want to hear you all the way from here! ;-)

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Uber Author's Secret Prayer

Remember in Linda Howard's Son Of The Morning, she didn't just write a time travel, but also included how it was done? This was so unusual to me because in most time travel-romance, it's usually done through unexplained means:

1) Heroine gets in some sort of accident, got hit in the noggin, wakes up, finds herself in a different time
2) Heroine or hero does a magic spell (usually hero from past)
3) Waking up in another century in somebody else's body
4) Heroine finds a magical spot, like a rock or a pond, and somehow there's a magical entrance ala mode.
5) Others that you might think of that I haven't yet this morning

Linda Howard did it in SOTM without too much scientific mumbo-jumbo and a dash of magic. There was just enough to get one's interest on the subject while the story moves in the romantic direction of the genre.

SOTM, to me, was such a thrill to read and to this day, remains one of my favorite romance books. It's different and hard to categorize. On one hand, it is a contemporary romantic intrigue. On the other, it's a time travel. Then, let's not forget the Templar Knight myth stuff. Throw in a big Highlander-style hero from medieval times, the Alpha Male Linda Howard trademark. You have historical, science, hot sex, and modern suspense all in one book. That was La Linda at her best--original, totally sexy writing, and action.

So, here I am, late at night, researching on quantum technology, specifically quantum entanglement and teleportation. I'm writing a spy romance with scientific elements that border on the magical. No, the word "teleportation" here doesn't mean my hero and heroine are going to teleport like good old Captain Kirk and gang. Can't do that. Got to make everything believable.

I'm reading my heavy-duty science theories and experiments (and getting my usual headaches from trying to understand the big words) and trying to use these wonderful discoveries in a context that romance readers would enjoy. I don't want my book to be an infodump on how a special hightech bomb works. Most romance readers would just be satisfied that it did, with a little bit of techy explanation.

But because I'm playing with experiments on the human brain and mind, and with no time travel element to explain things magically, and because we're talking about CIA, NSA, Los Alamos labs, NRL, and all those acronyms that spell CLASSIFIED, I need all the techy language in dialogue references as well as an assumption that the reader would be okay with it.

Sure, sure, you would think they would, but it can get pretty confusing when you have five or six covert departments playing head games with each other like my stories do. I already have readers complaining about GEM and COS, along with all the smirks about TIARA (real department, btw) and other unique agencies that's in my world. And then we throw in the SEALs and my editor is questioning whether readers need me to explain, in the middle of a conversation between said SEAL and a knowledgeable operative what BUD/S means because well, the editor doesn't. She has a point--if she didn't, why would the reader (other than the very hardcore SEAL hero fans)?

This isn't a new dilemma for me after five books. I've mostly managed to dodge a lot of these demands with a little bit of revision here or there. Mostly. Because, of course, there are still readers who think my many departments and operatives too confusing.

So, in the middle of the night, while being absolutely excited about my newfound explanation of why/how my characters could communicate the way they do in my Virtual Reality experiment, it suddenly occurred to me that...umm...I'm going to have to explain this lightbulb moment in simple word form that doesn't go on and on and on about quantum theories.

Arghhhhhhhhhhhh. No, actually, I didn't scream like that. The noise that came out of my lungs sounded a bit more maniacal, like a mad woman's laughter. This is what Mary Shelley sounded like when she conceived the idea of Frankenstein.

Virtual Frankenstein...and I hadn't even known I was creating a monster ;-). Because, you see, I, roofer, am writing a three book spy romance story involving Virtual Reality and other great physics theory about dark matter and teleportation theories. I, roofer. Miss D Minus Minus in all things physics and mathematical. Bwahahaha. My Muse likes to torture me.

When I pick up a Linda Howard book, I have full trust in her to take me on a wild ride. I can only hope you'll do the same with Virtually His. Because Book Two, Virtually Hers, is going to be wilder, both in the physics and the physical. Already the sexual quotient is borderline Red. I mean, heck, we're talking about a COS commando given full rein to seduce a GEM operative in and out of virtual reality. Pullease, Muse. Let me do the quantum physics right.

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More SpyInfo Than You Want To Know About Furry Lurv

Current Mood: Here fierce lusty Lykae. Okay, my poms are more like foxes than wolves but don't tell them that....



Hey, I've got a new auto-buy author! I stayed up till 4am reading Kresley Cole's A Hunger Like No Other. Wow--great beginning prologue. Loved, loved it. Only bump was the virgin-start/stop, start/stop stuff.

The writing style reminded me of Karen Marie Moning's--contemporary young sweet thang vs the big, strong Highlander immortal (driven by lust, need, love) but Cole is a little bit more violent. Also, her world building is fabulous--love the whole myth-lore about the vampire (Bride) (logic), Lykae (mate) (sensual), Valkyrie (emotionless warrior) (collective energy), etc. etc. The only thing that kept taking me out of my deep immersion in the story is the constant mention of these creatures' "claws." They don't seem to have hands, not even in natural form. I know the author probably didn't mean it that way, but it did interrupt my entrancement with the story. Any of you read this yet? I, of course, am always the last one to read anything, sigh.

Anyway, I blame Kresley Cole for interrupting my writing. Now I have to go get the next book, if it's out already.

Talking about strange dog behavior ;-), my furbabees are Krazeeeeee. My Magic, who passed on earlier this year, left one strange legacy: all her female children think they are males. They lift their legs. They growl at males that come near them when they're in heat. And...and...sigh, they hump each other and other FEMALES who are in heat.

LOL, too much information, huh? I can't help it. It's just too funny to watch when the two girls chase after another little girl of mine and try to do "it" while my male dogs sit around whining, wondering what to do with their "thang." Like the rest of my world, everything is a bit off.

Poor Brando, my king and favorite son. He's seventeen years old, a little blind and a lot slow. This does not seem to stop him from WANTING a two year old wild child, though. Cradle snatcher. Except that he's too old to climb on top of her. So he just sit as close as he could and whine. And whine. And beg. And beg. It's torturous listening to him. And Leila, the wild child? She's not giving any. Learning from her stepsisters. I'm begining to suspect that my female poms are Valkyries.

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The Spy Who Got Paid Well

Remember the video of Matt who quit his job to travel the world on a shoestring? Here is the debut of the new Matt 2nd-time-round and sponsored by STRIDE GUM video. It's basically the same, yet different. I love it, but I hate it too. It's still the same Matt...is it? ;-) CLICK ON ARROW to view it here:



I still don't have any idea why he chose a lullabye to dance to, but he's still having a lot of fun visiting far off places. Love the shot with the Tibetan monks. I'm jealous that he got to go to stand on that Norway rock; I've heard about it a long time ago. But why am I not entranced by it the way the first video was? Is it because I know that this time, he'd gone to that place, with a specific shot in mind, as in "It'd be cool to get a shot of me dancing in front of the Easter Island statue for the video."

But really cool way to travel, nonetheless. Good to know he still can't dance ;-).

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Drop Dead Laughing

What books are you looking forward to reading next? My target is: Linda Howard's DROP DEAD GORGEOUS. I loved To Die For. I know many romance readers resist first person books like the plague (still don't get why this is so, although I totally agree about missing the hero's POV) but To Die For works very well in this format. I don't know whether I would love Blair, the cheerleader, as much if she was written in third person. Anyway, I can't wait to see how she's going to drive Wyatt nuts with all the wedding plans.

I also love Linda Howard's titles. Sigh.

I enjoyed To Die For because the situations in the story, as seen through Blair's eyes, were very similar to my life. I mean, just yesterday alone, I was wondering, while listening to one of the guys droning on and on, where on earth would you find three roofers together, one who seemed to know everything about different cultures from the History or Geography chanel (I don't know which one he watches, only that he likes to tell me everything he'd learned the night before), one who was learning Spanish and could sing Russian lullabyes, and one who was a published romance author?

The first guy is also very deaf and a bit...on the slow side, so both RB and I practically spend the whole day sounding like we're mad at him, yelling at the top of our voices and repeating ourselves several times. He's also in love with his boat and he spends much of the day, in between cultural lessons, talking about what he did to the boat the day before. Unfortunately, he really doesn't know what he's doing, so he ends up telling us about his "adventures," like the time when he accidentally put the motor on backwards and he had to steer left to go right, and vice versa. Or, as RB suggested, he could have steered the right way if he faced backwards. To top it off, this dude's sort of under his old lady's thumb and she HATES this boat, which he named after her.

Then I have RB who is now ordering food in Spanish and confusing the hell out of the Shit and Grits waitresses. He can also tell time now, so he bought himself a watch the other day. Only, he bought a ladies' watch by mistake and the strap was a wee bit too tight. So now he booms out in broken Spanish, "According to my SMALL ladies' watch, it's (whatever the time is)." Let's not forget his forays into the computer world now too. This week, he was telling me how disappointed he was in the information highway. This is from the dude who hasn't touched a computer since he blew up his daughter's hard drive ten years ago. If I roll my eyes any more, they would be stuck to my brain.

Meanwhile, I have to deal with crapenters who don't speak English who are running around pretending they could piece a house together. These crapenters come in crews of 40-50 men and they disappear like a bunch of locusts every other month or so when they realize they really, really, really need to fix the problems out of their pocket. So, we wait for the next bunch of locusts. Rewind tape. Rewatch adventure.

Then there is the joy of meeting with the inspectors who have to deal with said crapenters' work. Of course they aren't going to be too happy with everyone else's because they are getting paranoid that everyone is not listening to them.

Enter RB with his Spanish. Explaining about laying and nailing patterns. I'm on the next roof listening to the two men yelling at each other. I'm thinking, any moment now, ANY MOMENT, RB is going to bust a fuse and all hell's going to let loose. I continue laying shingles, trying to listen to the conversation on the OTHER roof while MY DEAF ROOFER is loudly yapping away about some episode on the History Channel in which they put some poor American in the Malaysian forest to live with some tribesmen... "and did you have a bathroom that looked like that when you lived there, Jenn, huh, huh, Jenn?" And I was yelling back, "No, we walked around naked and just shit wherever we wanted, Jim!" not because I was mad, but because Jim was deaf and couldn't hear, so now the whole world thinks I'm telling everyone we "walked around naked and shit wherever we wanted."

The man RB was yelling to must have heard me and looked in my direction. And then I heard, right from across the roof, "Hey, isn't she the romance novelist?" Ooooh, the romance novelist card was out. I looked over and waved. The guy waved back. "I read about you in the paper! I used to inspect the roofs in Deland. Fifteen years ago. Do you remember me?"

"Oh yes," I said. Now he thinks I walk around naked and shit wherever I wanted to. Oh well.

Next to me, Jim was saying, "What did he say? What did he say? Did he pass the roof? Is he screaming at you? What is he mad about?"

"No one is mad at anybody," I yelled back.

"Then why are y'all yelling?"

"Because you are deaf!!!!!!!!!!"

"But he's not talking to me."

Sigh.

I can go on and on and tell you the rest of the day, but you don't really want to die laughing, do you?

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Uber Sixty-Four

I found out yesterday that Paul McCartney turned 64. Remember the song he sang during the Beatles' era: "When I'm 64"? Umm...okay, he's now that age.

Arrghhh. Scary.

Sixty-four was such an old fuddy-duddy age when I was humming along with them a looooong time ago. But that was so YESTERDAY and "suddenly, I'm not half the man I used to be..." Sob.

I still haven't thought much about being sixty-four. Hopefully I won't be weeding the garden, like the song. Or going bald. I'll probably go for plastic surgery then. Get rid of some wrinkles. Yeah, yeah, me be vain. Heck, I'll go for all-body-plastic surgery, just so I could crawl on a roof and still look good. LOL.

Before I'm sixty-four, though, I would like to visit Egypt so I can climb the pyramids. It's one of those things I want to do. Egypt calls me every so often, and I never seem to find the time to respond. What about you? What country calls to you before you're sixty-four? ;-)

I hope to be writing still when I'm sixty-four. Maybe even an uber-spy in his fifties! For some reason, an old Steve Martin ditty came to mind (Athena, you do know who Steve Martin is, don't you? NO RELATION TO DEAN MARTIN, LOL). Anyway, Steve Martin, during his comedy act days, used to howl out: "Grandpawwwwwwwwwwwww boughtarubber." And the crowd of youngsters (me included) would break out into knee-slapping laughter. Sigh. The thought of grandpaw at sixty-four and a rubber was...just ugly.

But that was so many hundreds of Viagras ago. Grandpaw has broken many packets of rubber since! ;-)

Question: For your romance, and this is only for romance (not mainstream women's fiction), what is the oldest age for the hero that you can tolerate a sex scene and not sing, "Grandpawwwwwwwwwwwwww boughtarubber"? Because, much as I loved Suzanne Brockmann's The Admiral's Bride, that was the ditty that went though my head as I went through the sexy parts. And yeah, definite romance-killer when you're cracking up.

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More Spying Perks

I couldn't wake up this morning. Coffee isn't helping. And yeah, I'm supposed to go roofing too because life is like that. Gah.

People ask me all the time why I keep roofing, especially when my body is breaking apart ;-). During mornings like this, I can tell you I don't know either. I think I feel that I owe roofing something because it's saved me from starvation. It's very complicated, feelings of letting go mixed. Like a security blanket, you know?

Anyway, in case I start becoming too deep on a Sunday, let's return to the road of shallow lustfulness of enjoying nekkid men posing. This time, I received one in color, and on a dreary cloudy Sunday, this one is perfect--men cavorting on the beach, being obedient. If my life can be so perfect ;-). No, I get crapenters who don't speak French and who I DON'T WANT to cavort around nekkid with or without their tool belts. So, to enjoy, click on ARROW:

Yum. Even the song is perfect for a Sunday, isn't it? I have no idea who the singer is, so if you do, let me know.

How come I never see any nekkid men coming out of a bus on a beach? The blond god with the curly hair. That last one with the tousled hair. I can do rugby, I tell ya. I think it's in their contract. "You must look good and you must walk around nekkid with each other. Also, you have to pose in tubs and on the beaches while cupping yourselves."

See, unlike my contract, which is haunting me: "You must write a proposal. You must do your edits. You must write 100,000 words or more for each manuscript." Why don't they add some incentive, like, oh, a couple of these guys to wake me up IN PERSON and put me in the mood? But nope, been looking at that small print in my contract over and over--nada. Barbara Cartland had her pink poodles. Why can't I have a bevy of nekkid rugby players?

Ugh, that sort of put an ugly image of Dean Martin in my head. Remember his show, in which he was surrounded by a bevy of blonde beauties while he drank his martini and smoked his cigarette? "Welcome to my world," he crooned, "won't you come on in?" I'm showing my TV age, aren't I? ;-)

Anyway, back to writing. "They" did say that it was easy churning out the sexy stuff, you know. Actually, right now I'm having a problem with the Irish/Dublin accent--do I write just straight English and let the reader just make up the accent in their heads or do I throw in a line or two that would indicate that the action is in Dublin? Decisions, decisions....

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Spying Perks

Wake up! WAKE UP!

Hey, IT'S OUT in book form! Perfect for self while shopping for Father's Day:



Preeety.

For you lazy ones, you can actually order this at Amazon.com. Coming right to your doorstep. BTW, when you go to the page, snicker along with me at the words "learn how to browse inside" this book, or some subtle nonsense like dat.

Man, rugby isn't quite the same as yesteryear...CLICK ON ARROW to watch without pop-ups:



The song is by Madonna, how appropriate. Hey, just ad lib along with the song: "If I had to photograph, I'll do these men." Seriously, who needs the World Cup?

Now, that's a good Saturday morning distraction, isn't it? Say, thank you, Gennita ;-).

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Uber Big Sister

Got sidetracked this morning talking to my youngest sister on the phone. I called to complain about the website being down again (she's my webmistress when she isn't busy, heh) and of course the conversation was all about everything but my website ;-). I love catching up with my youngest sis (I'm older by oh...at least ten years). She's pregnant again. Ooooh boy. It wasn't that long when she was a baby in my arms! And now she's going to have two kids of her own.

Remember when I posted, my littlest niece, Tasha Karmen's pic:



That's her on her first birthday! Now she's going to be two this year. Argh, where did the time go?!

Anyway, morning flew by and I didn't get to watch all of the Brawny Man episodes that a reader sent me:

http://www.brawnyacademy.com

It's a reality show and I've just finished Episode One. I don't know what to think of it. I've seen versions of the Brawny Man before but I can't figure out whether this reality show is a spoof or an ad or that these characters are real. Have you seen it? Anyway, Brawny Man is not bad eye candy and so is one of the "candidates." Can't remember his name but if you watch the first episode, you can't miss him because the rest of the men are...well...very normal, heehee.

I hope the other episodes show more of Brawny Man's brawny chest.

Quick question: WHAT NEW AUTHOR IS YOUR DISCOVERY this year so far? Last year, my discoveries were Marjorie Liu and J R Ward, but I've been trying to remember whether I've picked up a new author that gives me the same WOW feeling in 2006.

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Androgynous Spy

Okay, watch this short video:



His (yes HIS) name is Gackt, pronouced Ga-kuto or Gak-to. He's the biggest thing in Japan these days and girls are hot for him.

I think he's very beautiful...the new Adam Ant, a sexier Boy George (less makeup), more andro than David Bowie. But no, doesn't do a thing for me. Downloaded some of his videos to watch--very elaborate, very angsty/moody pieces. He has many female fans. Are you familiar with him?

For another take of beautiful, AND a more FUN PIECE of music, you have to click on Weird Al's newest free download: http://www.weirdal.com/ and scroll to the part where it says here, here, here, here, and here or esp. here. ;-) It's his take on the song, "You're Beautiful."

Go on, he's just as good as Gackt (got to remember how to spell that name).

Writers bring you recommendations of new books and talk about the pages they've written; uber-rooferwriters bring you androgenous beauties, odd ditties, and oh, yeah, teach you what's under them kilts.

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Uber Spy Author Gets Virtually Scary

I'm interested to know the difference between a paranormal and a scifi romance. Can someone give me definitions? I've read reviews where one is a paranormal romance and another book is a scifi romance...are they being used interchangeably or are there differences of which I'm unaware?

I really love the whole paranormal genre or books with paranormal elements in them. This is probably due to growing up in a multi-cultural country with four main religions. I loved all the stories of gods and goddesses from the Hindu and Buddhist/Taoist religions and used to read Chinese comic books depicting love and adventure tales with these elements.

And of course, there are the ghost stories. The Malay pontianak, the Chinese kiongsi, all that weird scary stuff fired up my overworked imagination. When I discovered television had great scary movies (although I didn't speak English), it was the beginning of my love affair of stories in pictorial form.

Anyway, science fiction, to me, always involve all those weird things like big spiders invading some poor town, or the hero that grows smaller and smaller (that was one of the best scifi movie EVAH!), or a Star Trek-type story. So, how is that connected to a sci-fi romance? And how is that different from a futuristic? See? This genre/cross-genre stuff is confusing.

Then here I am, writing a book with cutting edge technology that borders on sci-fi for those who don't care to read science magazines, so would my book be called sci-fi romance too? If a writer uses technology that's available now and pushes it a bit further along, would that make it a futuristic? But it's set in the present, with present day stuff happening, so... ??? And no, it's not an alternate universe either because the labs I write about do exist in the UNIVERSITIES that have been given funds to explore the science of virtual reality and what it could do. But some people still might not believe it, even with articles and research material piled up like a mountain in my living room.

Sure, some of the elements in my story are still theoretical but that's why it's fun to write about it! If readers who reject anything "para"normal in their books pick up, let's say, Christina Skye's newest SEALs stories, with her version of genetically-improved soldiers, would they call that a futuristic? A sci-fi romance? Granted, they might point out that the books don't have a lot of "science" in the story and my new book, sort of, does. So, does that mean, just because I attempt to explain how the virtual reality and bio-chemical serum work side by side, that means I'm writing sci-fi romance?

Argk. More coffee, please.

I know I've been teasing you about the commandos and Hell all these months. Well, it's definitely more fun than writing and explaining to you how the CAVE works ;-). I leave that to the COMCEN BLOG because I think it's more appropriate there. And yes, yes, before you complain that COMCEN hadn't explained about it, let me explain that I have ELEVEN MONTHS before my next book comes out and timing in giving out details is very important ;-).

But back to the science fiction, science theory, and a little bit more than science into woowoo territory discussion. I've never been afraid of trying out something new. SEALs not acting like SEALs in the CIA. CIA vs CIA red tape. Sexual manipulation in relationships. Bring it on. Everyone wants to write about the Super Soldier theme. Well, here's my version but hey, my version happens to be a woman who became the Super Soldier Spy. And there is a reason for it and I have to make the reader believe that it's not all woo-woo, that the training brought on the woo-woo.

By woo-woo, I mean anything in science fiction that pushes the readers to suspend their disbelief. In paranormals, of course it's the magical aspects in the stories, usually some kind of power the heroine possesses that would save the world. In futuristics, that same thing too, set in different "worlds," with a lot more action (think Angela Knight, yumyum).

The thing is, writing science fiction involves the same suspension of disbelief. Sci-fi readers appear to question the science theories more, that's all. One of my favorite science fiction book is still Ray Bradbury's The Illustrated Man, and yeah, at the time I read it years ago, the worlds he wrote about sounded surreal (rockets that take passengers?) but when I reread his book today, I see so many of his fascinating theories having come into fruition.

So I might be straddling territories again. It's the research nerd in me, I suppose. When I had the idea of virtual reality in my new stories, of course I dove deep into research to find out what's happening out there. Since I write about spies, of course I check out the military usage of virtual reality science. And then I dug deeper. And then I ask myself, how do I use this science to spy, if it's possible at all? And if it's possible, with all the right science gadgets that I've gathered and thrown at my Los Alamos friend for discussion and possible usage, what kind of person, with what skills, can do this?

Yes, I was in search of my own NEO. And it turned out that he is a she. Hell, with all the right genetic makeup. Hell, who must discover herself how far she can go. But by bringing up NEO from the Matrix, I'm already calling up images of woowoo stuff in your head, aren't I? So all right, yeah, Hell IS special. She has a special talent and she'd been trained to use it.

Let's say you have a latent musical talent but had never truly learned how to write music, but you can still compose songs on the piano...that's what I mean when I say that Hell has a special talent. She has "something," and virtual reality plus this something plus brainwaves synchronization have produced something new. It's MY theory ;-). And that's about as woowoo as oh, Albert Einstein waking up one morning, lying there with his tousled hair, and thinking, "Huh, I'm a mass at rest. And my thought can be considered energy, so Newton is wrong, goshdarnit! Why E = mass...hmm, lemme get up and work on this theory..."
;-)

Have I warned you that I think too much? There's a reason why I'm a roofer, you know.....
P/S. Lest there's any confusion, Edited to add: I don't think I'm writing sci-fi. Virtually His is, at heart, a spy love story.

And, for staying with me through this morning's nonsense, here's your reward! Hehee.

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Kick Ass Heroines Should Have At Least Two Men!

Oh all right. I like Buffy and Angel together too. But that was before I heard Spike's jeans unzipping! Heehee.

Angel and Buffy were romantic together, with a huge dose of sexual tension because of the looks of longing exchanged between them But Spike and Buffy, ooohlala. They were sex and sexy together; they were passion. And Spike's darkness reminded me so much of Anne Stuart's heroes and I'm always in love with Anne Stuart heroes.

Those two "men" certainly did portray their own darkness and angst differently, that's for sure. It just shows that, in writing romance, "dark" heroes aren't all the same. There is tortured soul; and there is tortured soulless, who wants a soul.

*******************************

Speaking of which, SQ, The Subservient Chicken taebos very well but you have to type the word VAMPIRE and see he does! Squawk!

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I have a dirty fishtank that has five fish in it. They have been with me before I MOVED to this house, so they are at least ten years old. I know...it seems they love the dirty fishtank. I didn't have the heart to flush them down the toilet, so I've kept them, with intermittent kind souls ***coughdisgustedboyfriendscough*** cleaning the tank for them. Well one of my fish passed away. From old age, I presume. I feel kind of sad, although I've never really bonded with them. They are part of the Gennita Low circus. So now I'm down to four.

My, my life is so full of news ;-). What, would you prefer that I tell you about our suddenly stormy hurricane weather? Rain, rain, rain, rain.

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Profound Spy Thoughts

Everyone knows how much I worship at the altar of Joss Whedon's storytelling genius. I love the Buffyverse, aka the TV shows Buffy and Angel. I can go for hours--days--dissecting character growth and plot arcs of both shows. I still watch reruns when I catch them and sigh over the brilliance of it all.

Don't get me wrong; there were a few things wrong that had me gnashing my teeth, one of which was what they did to Cordelia Chase, a wonderful character that reminded me of Linda Howard's Blair from To Die For. Anyway, Jennifer Crusie, also a great fan of both shows, have written an incredible essay on The Character Assassination of Cordelia Chase. Just had to share.

Talking about character assassination and evolvement, help. Ranger Buddy has gone beyond googling. He is now FILING and SAVING, which come with the usual sound effects of "bap, bap, filed," and "bap, beep, bab, saved." He has a file for his Spanish words and it's called...Ranger Buddy's File. Of course. What else would he name it?

At this rate, he would be...umm...going from 512 to 1 giga in no time at all. Don't laugh. The man is a constant surprise. Next, he would actually be learning to BACK UP.

Moving from giga, I thought I was so kewl to own a USB flashdrive of 2 gigs. Hah. I'm so behind I can see my own fat ass. The uber-kewl is already using Terabytes. One Terabyte is like...oh, a terazillion Gigs. Remember those "good old days" of floppies at 1.44MB or something pathetic like that? Sigh. I still OWN them, with info that I need to transfer into my flashdrive. How did we ever survive with so little space in our disk drives? ;-)

Do tell me...what do you keep in your diskdrives that you think you'd need one Terabyte of space? But then, I question the sanity of being able to save 2000 songs in your Ipod. When would anyone have time to listen to 2000 songs? But apparently, other uber-kewler humans than me do.

We once built monuments to express our humanity and its grandeur. We now keep our histories in these little chips and most of them have bad jokes we've forwarded back and forth like a Christmas fruit cake. I'm not sure which one would stand the test of time.

Boy, am I waxing deeper and deeper this morning. You now see what reminiscing over Buffy and Angel can do to me?! The odd and the weak against total evil! At stake: humanity's future! Yeah! Discuss among yourselves while I go make money on the roof to buy a 1-Terabyte diskdrive and daydream about the happy ending that should have been Season Seven Buffy.

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Lost Spy

Sunday Best:
This is LOST star, Josh Holloway (Sawyer) all cleaned up! Want to check this movie out now, eh?














Okay, who has seen Almodovar's Bad Education? Any opinions? It's been explained to me as a gay film noir. I love film noir; that's why this movie was recommended to me. Good movie? Bad? My friend thinks Gael, the star, reminds him of Julia Roberts. Of course, him being gay, we might not actually agree on this.



Edited to add: I just went to the movie spoiler site and spoiled myself. It's a rather sick movie, isn't it? LOL. Actually, it's sick done in film noir. Much like hentai (sick done in toons), yes?

Gael looks nothing like Julia Roberts, btw. Purty eyes. And lips. And jawline.

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Uber Writer On A Hot Roof

Okay, not counting Alaska and Australia, HOW HOT IS IT OVER THERE WHERE YOU ARE? I'm melting on the roof here. It must have been at least 110 degrees Fahrenheit, combining weather with heat emanating from very HOT shingles. And it's not even July yet.

A lot of people can't take our humid heat down here in Florida. They dream of it, move down here compulsively, and then regret it afterwards. It's not conducive to brainwork. And all you want to do all day is sit around on the deck drinking ice tea, lemonade, and adult beverages.

Our heat makes people think "simple." We dress simple--teeshirt, shorts, floppies...yeah, we can go out and eat now. We garden simple--dig a hole, put a bush in, water in...it'll grow. We even write simple--think of Hemingway's short sentences. We just don't. Have. The. Energy.

When I'm on the roof, I don't think about the heat. Once you can conquer the urge to think it's hot, you're on the way to surviving as a roofer. Some roofers moved down here from up north, thinking they could make some bucks from the hurricane damaged houses, and they melted under our heat. It's all about survival once you're on the roof--can you walk across it during midday without thinking of the Sahara desert burning the bottom of your feet?

It's the same with writing. Once you start thinking of the NUMBER of words you have to generate for your book, you're lost. Beaten. Done. But as a contracted writer, I have to. Unless you're mega-uber, a manuscript in my genre is always kept within 100,000 words. So I play a game, just like I do on the roof. For myself, I write in scenes rather than chapters.

Sometimes, when I'm very, very hot on the roof, instead of pausing, I start to shingle faster, just so I could be distracted. In writing, unfortunately, there is no such thing as writing faster and faster. Not for this author, anyway. Some scenes are easier than others, that's all. So, to trick myself, I sometimes tell myself if I have to absolutely end this book at the end of this chapter, happy ending or no, how would I finish it? So with that "goal" in mind, I try to get my chapter done, and thus add another few thousand words to the overall 100,000 I need. Sounds so simple! ;-).

All this is great but it definitely doesn't help my synopsis writing, which is a required thing also, if you want to sell a book to your editor. What is your story about? And what's the plot? "Uh, can I write the book first?" only works for Nora Roberts.

So this is my dilemma this weekend as I try to think about my Book II synopsis. I know how it starts...great beginning. I know how it ends...oh yeah, wow, you should read the ending! But the middle, well, that's kind of fuzzy. You know, that secret monitor...he makes love to Hell a lot. And kills some bad spies. And Hell, she does this and that and oh yeah, I'd like to bring a submarine into the plot.

Will that do? Sigh. I didn't think so either. How can five to ten pages be soooo tough to write when I just finished 100,000 words, huh? My brain is just wired wrong.

The heat and writing must be getting to me. I need to go see this movie:

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