Also, Caption This Photo

Best Caption wins something ;-).

Authors Ann Aguirre, Megan Hart, Victoria Dahl, Lauren Dane, Gennita Low, and great agent, Laura Bradford

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Romantic Times Convention Slide Show

Here are some of my Romantic Times Convention photos. Hope you enjoy them. You have to be there to see everything ;-). I'll try to get a picture of my loot when I get the chance to unpack the bags! In the photos are, not in any order, Ann Voss Peterson, Cindy Gerard, Victoria Dahl, E. Paul Wilson, Barry Eisler, J. A. Konrath, Kathy Love, John Scalzi, and many more.

This free photo slideshow customized with Smilebox

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Doing RT The Untraditional Way: My Book Family Meets Up With My Other Family, or, You Know Jenn's Going To Be A Headless Chicken

Nope. Didn't fly. I'm protesting the stupid Airline Bundling Program in my little way. Hey, Airlines-Looking-For-Revenue, I'm a customer, not a package you have to delivered. I'm someone looking to go somewhere in the easiest, most relaxing way possible, and right now, YOU ARE NOT IT. And I'm not a hassle to your BUSINESS. Not a piece of stinky meat you have to pass on. Not some group of strangers you can trapped in an airport or a tarmac for three hours because you think we're animals wasting your fuel. I REFUSE. So, I'm driving. And taking my own sweet, relaxing time. Eff you.

Ahem. Rant Button Off.

I spent most of yesterday and most of last night driving to Ohio. It dawned on me last night, while careening through the dark mountains in Virginia and West Virginia, that I've never driven through the Appalachians in the dark. It's always been breathtaking scenery and wonderful mountain driving. Umm. Not in the dark. There was fog and crazy, intense truck drivers, with none of the view, which perhaps, was a good idea, since, everything seemed to be hurtling past at a near-uncomfortable speed, even though I wasn't speeding. Mountain curvy roads in the dark--chalk that experience for a future commando scene!

At the rest stop, I was the only little car there and there were many big burly truck drivers stamping their feet and stretching out inside the facilities. Me not skeered. I bravely donned my Florida hunting jacket and marched inside to get me a candy bar. IT IS WINDY COLD at night in the mountains! Whoa, my poorh Floridah Butth.

Quickie memories from daylight:

***Strangest sight was watching this huge mosque loomed up out of the blue while listening to Christian channels sermonizing and singing. It was very pretty but gave me an unexpected laugh because I was just fiddling the radio stations, which jumped from one Christian gospel thing to another--which was fine, only I was getting tired and wanted something more peppy--and then I looked left and the sight of the huuuuge golden dome amidst local bluegrass music woke me up. I won't forget that too soon.

***I got a kick out of listening to the West Virginian weather lady on some channel. Her accent was totally mesmerizing. She sounded as if she was putting the accent on the wrong syllable. Kinda like me, to many people, heh heh. Anyhow, she came on faithfully every fifteen to twenty minutes, and I loved her for making repeated weather patterns of the coming 24 hours seemed so exciting.

***Taking a side trip to my university. It's still the same, down to the same two pubs I hung out in--The Pub and Pawpurrs. Down to the SAME table with my scratched lover's name in the corner. I loved the windy roads that shouldn't be able to fit two cars at the same time. I checked out the woods where I threw away the ring my first boyfriend gave when he broke up with me, and had a good laugh because man, that was a gold ring, bought when gold was $300 an ounce. Gold is over $1000 now. Shoot. Damn. Pooh. I peeked into the library that I'd loved so much (8 storys of books!!!). Of course, I bought an over-priced teeshirt. Gah. Tricked by sentiment again.

Anyway, I'm staying overnight at my sister (yes, I have many, many siblings and we have invaded many of the states). My two nephews just came home and they're these TALL GAWKY teens. When did they grow that tall? Also, the Chinese just don't call their relatives "cousins" or "aunts" or "hey," we actually have designated names that tell each other where we stand in relation to age and which side of the family. Only, I've kind of forgotten. Usually, it's my sisters introducing me to the kiddies all over again and then they mouthed the proper respectful term. But my sis is at work. So the two TALL GAWKY teens, used to being to nudged by my mom, just stood there looking at me to prompt them and I...blanked. Was I the "YeeMah" or "KuMah" or "KuChieh" or "Tai-something-other?"

They stood there and stared. I stared back. Awkward silence ensued."

Finally, I said, "Hey."

LOL. I'm very traditional, can't you tell?

This is the start of my weeklong adventure. Romantic Times Convention meets family stuff. Romance models meet siblings attending signings. Crazy costumes vs well-bahaved author. Oh, boy.

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RT: Yes, I Mushed A Spartan's Package

This is the infamous party hosted by Deidre Knight, who was promoting her Midnight Warriors series. She had a very memorable way of making us remember her heros ;-).

First, the Spartan Warriors gathered, proclaiming their need for maidens to break a long-awaited curse. Or something like that. I don't know, many of us were just staring at the skirts.

The game began. The warriors sat in their chairs as the maidens started to dance around them, sizing their warrior strength ;-).

Everyone jumped onto the warriors as the music stopped. One maiden is left without a warrior and is sacrificed to the dragon (I made that up). Then one Spartan warrior became free from his captivity and he ran off with his maiden.

Below, I became overzealous in my quest to win the game and literally squashed on top of a Spartan. He went, "Oooooooofffphfff." I turned to him and said, "I'm sorry, did I mush your package?" "No," he replied, but his voice was a bit higher than usual, I thought.

As you can see, my new editor was a bit more lady-like in her warrior seat.

I did quite well, samplingsaving many warrior seats.

I didn't win, but I thought it was quite a fun game ;-). Sometimes it's fun to have no shame. Hey, I'm an old lady. Cute young seats are hard to find! Heh. The above young Warrior went on to become Mr. Romance 2009.

This one below--I don't know--Alpha Male thinks I was smiling a bit too cheekily because my hand was too near the guy's thigh or something. Tsk. He has such a overworked imagination! *eg*

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RT Recap: Day Three, Isn't It?

Here are a nice pic of a MarjorieWich from Day Two. Us Asian chicas rook arike.

Okay, where were we? Day Three.

I woke up with the strange sensation of having breathed in a pound of sawdust and plasterdust. When I coughed, this strange mist puffed out of my lungs. I figured it was just leftover fairydust from last night. I turned over, ignoring my roomies', Ann Aguirre's and Jeri Smith-Ready's, early morning antics (they had something important to do; I didn't, ha).

When I finally sat up, I went to gargle and brushed the sawdust off my teeth. Hmm. I notice this little red welt on the left side of my face...but by now, I was in a hurry, so I just applied heavier makeup.

My feet hurt. My eye twitched. I coughed some more. So I did what a sensible author would do.

I went downstairs to the bar.

Day Three was the Pahty Day. There was a party somewhere; you couldn't escape it. Morning spritzer. Mid-morning Book Wakeup Calls. Mid-mid-morning Happy Hour. Afternoon Snack and Margaritas. You get the picture. You could just wander around, dragging a shopping cart, sipping interesting brews, and happily talk to authors who were just willing to keep you in this drunken state all day. I was perfectly happy playing reader and getting free books and drinks. I scored many books to give away for contests ;-).

Lunch was wonderful, but the PA System of Death seemed to have gotten louder. I stayed as long as I could because I wanted to see the Pioneers of Romance on stage, which included Roberta Gellis and Bertrice Small. But my ears were ringing from all the feedback bouncing off the back wall and it caused enough of a migraine that I had to leave.

So my girlfriend and I decided to take a break and went off to the Andy Warhol Museum about fifteen minutes away. If you scroll down to the actual day, you'll read me posting about that trip and a bit about the vampire ball.

I mean, what can be a deeper subject matter than watching footage of Andy Warhol filming his artist-friend painting with a brush sticking out his arse? There were other great pop art that he did that we appreciated more, of course, but that little show was unforgetable after lunch. Especially, when we were milling with a group of 20 older visitors. They stared stonily at the television, not finding the same humor we did. Then it occurred to me...were't they, like, that hip age when this little film was made? Come on....loosen up, that was you, gramps and grammies! Heh.

The walk back was lovely. The weather was cooperating--80 degrees and no humidity! I felt like putting on a toolbelt and climbing on the roof...never waste good weather like this, I say.

Ah well. The urge to hammer must have come from eating sawdust at night.

Anyway, back at the hotel, I lined up for more margaritas and free books. I met the lovely Sylvia Day who graciously signed her book for me. I did the networking thing, at which I'm incredibly bad, because I never have any cards or bookmarks on me, and also because when someone asked me whether I was Marjorie Liu, I always said yes. Or if they exclaimed that they thought Marjorie Liu was such a young thing, I corrected them by telling them that she was actually 40. We Asians just age very nicely. Yes, this was really bad of me, especially when I was networking, but Jill Smith by my side wasn't helping. Heh.

By the time I went back to the room, I had to get ready for the Vampire Ball. Ann Aguirre was already dancing, looking fabulous. I decided that I needed wavy hair to look wicked because I was so innocent-looking all the time. Voila!

My gown had this mesh of spiderwebs clinging on the outside. That was my "scary" contribution for the Vampire theme. Don't I look wicked?

Heather Graham and gang did a mystery theatre during dinner called Little Red Riding Ho. She's always fun to watch, but this year, that PA SYSTEM OF DEATH chased me away. People must have been complaining about problems hearing because someone TURNED IT UP even MORE, thinking that would make things BETTER. Not.

Okay...here is the part that I'm cutting and pasting from an earlier post:

The PA system was so loud, I think my eardrums burst in the middle of trying to eat dessert. When I looked up at the screen and saw a transvestite on stage humping the Frankenstein, I picked up a huge raw spear of broccoli and tried to commit suicide by stabbing my forehead with a sexy vegetable. Sitting not too far from me, a male writer was sawing his wrist with a butter knife.I was then carried out of there by my table (yes, my table was running away) into the foyer where half the crowd had already escaped, nursing their eardrums with alcohol. I joined in.

I've been getting email asking me how exactly did one try to kill oneself with a spear of brocoli. Look, I took Barry Eisler's talk about killing at heart, okay? He told us we could kill with just about ANYTHING, so, with the right angle, and the right force, a giant spear of brocoli at a vampire ball could be a deadly weapon. Just ask Barry.

Once outside, many of the undead welcomed me.

That's Stacey, the most wonderful bookseller from NYC (check out the store at Grand Central!). I dabbed her bleeding ears and she dabbed mine.

Author Stephanie Burke in one of elaborate costumes. Yes, that was a real whip.

I wasn't scared of this particular monster at all ;-P.

I told this zombie I didn't have any brains left for him. If you look on the wall behind him, you'll notice a poster with different photos. There were posters similar to it all outside the ballroom, from different RT conventions. It was fun looking at them, checking out the era of the Big Hair during the 80s, the authors that I grew up reading having the same fun I was now, the young Fabio and long-haired John de Salvo (whom I still affectionately call John de Salivate), the flippy hairdos of the 90s, etc.

Those posters represented the 25 years of Romantic Times, celebrating romance and all it entailed. How it had grown as a genre. I wish I could take some of those posters home. They were fabulous reminders of how far we had come and what those pioneers of romance had passed on to us. Today, our genre is the hottest selling of all the genres and other writers are coming to our convention, not to make fun, but to join in the merrymaking and to learn from our writers. Why? Because romance readers are the most prolific readers, that's why, and they're finally getting it ;-).

The night's Tail ended here.

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Uber Author Goes Uber Partying!

Tomorrow is packing time for RT! I'm really looking forward to Houston. It's especially more fun when Virtually His is virtually fresh off the press! If you're heading to the big book fair, please do drop by my table for some chit chat!

Four days of RT is like a whirlwind of social events from morning till late night. There is so much to plan for--costumes, workshops, signing events, COSTUMES. I love the attendees--readers and authors--who get into the spirit and get all dressed up for each ball. The elaborate costumes and make-up make the event, you know? Even if the male models always seem to be wearing the same boring vampire capes ::evil grin::. I need to stake me a few ;-).

So anyway...here is the big question. ARE YOU HAPPY ABOUT HELL'S MONITOR NOW? Dang, I'm getting a lot of email about him ;-).

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What To Wear, What To Wear

So I was doing a little online shopping, looking for some sexy stuff to wear for the different balls at Romantic Times. For those who have never been to this wonderful readers convention, each night celebrates a different genre and attendees dress up (or down!) in different costumes and boogie the night away. There's the Vampire-themed ball (last year it was Vampire Pirates of the Carribean--too fun!), the Faerie Ball (men and women with giant wings, LOL), the rock-and-roll party, and the sexay Ellora's Cave Fantasy Ball.


Anyway, I was searching for different costumes and nearly choked when a friend emailed me this one:





Oh yeah. I can just see me with that buckle holding me up. The mind boggles at the thought of how that one strap would prevent slippage while one tries to walk across a room. I suppose jiggling on the dance floor is out of the question. Especially in THOSE SHOES. :horrors:

I'm not sure what that loop of cloth is for in the front. Maybe for one to hide one's purse.


Would it frighten you off if I told you I've seen worse costumes at the ball? ;-)


*********************

The RT Convention is really about readers celebrating their love for the romance genre. Everyone has a good time, enjoying the authors, books, models, and everything in between. During the day, they hold workshops and signings; at night, they party their asses off. Nobody takes themselves too seriously. Except for that lady I saw leading a buff and tan man off in velvet chains and handcuffs. Oh my. But that's another story ;-).

I'm looking forward to meeting old friends and making new ones. Here are some of the authors/buddies I'll be drinking wine with:

Marjorie Liu (no intro needed. She's tall, she's beautiful, she writes 1,000,000 words a day, and I love her books. Hate her, love her books. Would kill her except she's, like, ten feet tall and could smash me with her stiletto. Hmm...she could probably wear the above dress...;-P) Oh, yeah...time to photoshop this:




If you notice, I have to chop off her legs in this photo, they were so damn long. Heh heh. Aww...Marjorie, I'm just kidding, just kidding!!!

Heather Graham (here is the Queen of Graciousness and Best Hostess in the world. I love Heather because she's always charming and ready to have fun. And you got to love a woman who can play Jack Sparrow and look sexy!)




Arianna Hart, who once dressed as a kinky nurse at the Fantasy Ball. She's my partner-in-crime when it comes to stealing beautiful posters of half-nekkid men.





Kayla Perrin, who will dance your shoes off.



Jordan Summers, another talented author, who doesn't know I have these pictures of her ;-). Where was your vampire costume, Jordan?!








There are so many more but it'll take me all morning to post their pictures. I love meeting everyone and getting signed books for next year's reading (sigh, yes, I am VERY behind in my reading).

The books I'm looking forward to reading next are Linda Howard's newest Silhouette and Anne Stuart's newest Ice book (sorry, title escapes me...Ice Blue???).

Probably more online shopping tonight, since I don't think that first dress can be worn in public ;-). Not by me, anyway!

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Uber Eggs!

HAPPY EASTER!

I'm one of the authors Romantic Times is spotlighting on their website. Here is the link:

RT AUTHOR SPOTLIGHT

In it, I gave some details about the Virtual books and my heroine, Helen Roston. There's also a short excerpt.

I put my NEXT signing information on the right side of my blog here, so everyone who's going gets quick access. I'll be in Houston for RT and then next weekend, at The Almost Perfect Book Store in Roseville, Calif.

I've also added the links to the reviews I could find of Virtually His. The latest one is from Fresh Fiction, an excellent monthly newsletter, by the way. It has all kinds of tidbits of new books as well as author interviews.

Romance By The Blog has invited me to be a guest blogger there for mid-May. It's a great promotional opportunity but I have to come up with a question/topic for discussion. I looked at that site and everyone there seems to have great interesting questions already. Why can't I think of one? Sigh. I also need to write around 200-300 words too. I'm so good at irrelevant stupid stuff like half-nekkid men but writing topics???? Gah. Do you have any suggestions?

This promotion business is so hard for me. You'll find this hard to believe but RB and I have NEVER ADVERTISED or promoted our roofing business since we became partners oh, a thousand years ago. I didn't own a cell phone till I sold my manuscript in 2002 and it was only because of the death of public phones that forced RB to borrow my cell phone ;-). And of course, you know, RB just started the art of googling last year when he made that oath not to watch TV for the entire year. LOL.

See? I started talking about promoting my book and before I know it, I'm off on another tangent about my partner's aversion to technology. I'm just not good at self-promotion.

Here's what I'm good at:



Except for the exceptionally gay eyebrows, this could be Armando before training. LOL. But I don't think I can just post pictures at Romance By The Blog....

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When I Said The Man Has Layers....

REMINDER: VIRTUALLY HIS ARC CONTEST
SEE FEB 15 POST

****************

Here is the complete list of Romantic Times Book Club's Reviewers' Choice nominees. It's very long!

How many of your favorite books were nominated this year? Any of you planning to be at RT Con this year?

I must find time to read Lora Leigh's Dangerous Games. I've heard so many good things about it. Sigh. Time...my constant problem these days.

Which makes me think that THESE PEOPLE have too much time of their hands. They conducted an experiment to see how many condoms could be worn at one time. They stopped at #625 when they ran out of condoms, but that didn't stop them from doing cross-sections and measurements to show how a layered condomed penis might look like (very missile-like). Very scientifically worded. For myself, I don't think any penis would still be happy after being encased in 600 or so condoms. Just saying.

I mean, with that much spare time, I'd much prefer to take a book to the beach. Read a bit. And just dream about less scientific stuff ;-):

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