We're All Getting Shorter

I know it's been quiet around here. I've been trying hard to put all my time into writing, even with the crappy economy taking all my time looking for roofing jobs. One of my friends asked me why don't I just "not look for jobs, but instead sit down and write and write instead? Because self-publishing is exploding and she's just read about an author who sold 50,000 copies of her ebook to Kindle and Nook buyers."

It's a very convincing argument, and tempting indeed, to someone like me, who really loves to sit at home and write. But alas, my own RL situation doesn't make it feasible for me to give up the roofing job yet. To be able to do that, I'll have to pay off a big chunk of loans first, and it's not that easy to ignore monthly bills. The thing is, the more in debt you are, the harder it is to take time off to do the thing one loves, and in my case, it's writing consistently.

Writing consistently doesn't actually mean having a lot of free time available. For myself, I need a slot every day that is about the same time, with no outside things requiring my attention, be it calling roofing inspectors, talking to homeowners, or driving county to county looking at and bidding on jobs. The last part is mind-numbing and all that talking and answering the same roofing questions steals more creative energy than I care to admit. It even sucks the fun out of blogging, as you can see here, so much so that I end up having lots of quick thoughts for Facebook but no real in-depth thoughts for here.

I know my readers would prefer to read stories from me rather than my silly chitchat, anyway ;-). So I'm really trying to get myself in gear again. It's all about taking those first few steps in self-publishing to get the income going; the more that income grows, the more it sustains me, and the less I need to go looking for roofing jobs because, hey, look, loans and expenses are being paid off. But it needs work and time, with lots of emphasis on writing work, to get to that point and I'm hoping that two short stories coming out soon will be a start. One will be, FINALLY, the novella that was in the Mammoth Book of Spec Ops Romance, which I've re-edited and re-formatted from PDF for publication through Kindle, Nook, and Smashwords, and the other is a secret short project that I've been nursing during my dry runs wrestling with the big projects I've been trying to finish, sort of a writing-something-not-of-my-genre-to-get-out-of-my-rut exercise. They'll both be priced $1.99, I think, since they're both short stories.

Okay, off I go to write a bit! :) Do catch me on Facebook if you have an account because I seem to be all one-liners lately.

How about you, in your personal life? Have you noticed that you are only good for one or two one-liners, that you're short on words?

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Who Has The Baddest Balls? RWA or HQ or Mr. Scurrilous Scrotum?

Knew the title would get your attention ;-).

The Net is a cool place to hang out, especially if you have a community of friends who update you on the interesting things that happened/are happening while you are out and about trying to make a living. Today, I came home to find a few bits of surprising news in my email box, all of them somehow related to sets of balls. And I do mean THAT certain pair of balls.

1) Sneaky balls

Harlequin, the biggest name in the romance genre, announced a new division, a VANITY PUBLISHING line called Harlequin Horizon. A vanity publisher, in case you don't know, is a company that asks the writer to come up with $$$ to get published. The most famous one dating all the way back to the 50s is Vantage Press. You pay them a few thousand, and they'll print your books with your name in front and send them to you.

On the Harlequin Horizon website, they are charging any interested writers from $600-$2500 to get their books published. They are also offering book trailers for a very small fee of $20,000. (Me: Uh, yeah. They are obviously looking for very rich writers).

Harlequin's official stance is that this new line is not affiliated to Harlequin in any way. Just:

Pay no attention to all the new HHorizon logos on the eharlequin site. Or the links to the new site.

Pay no attention to the fact that rejected writers submitting to Harlequin editors are told that there is ANOTHER way to get published...through the non-affiliated Harlequin Horizon.

Pay no attention to little bait on the site teasing you that, if the book does well, Harlequin might* publish you for realz.

Very sneaky balls.

2) Brassy balls

This award goes to RWA, Romance Writers of America, a non-profit organization for romance writers 10000 members strong, many of whom are published HQ authors. Since the beginning, RWA and HQ are like BFF, with many of its original founding members the Grand Dames of Harlequin romance (Nora Roberts, Linda Howard, Sandra Brown, Anne Stuart, just to name a few). RWA and HQ are like butter on toast. Fish and chips. Tar and shingle (well, I have* to bring in a roofing comparison). Thanksgiving and turkey.

But not any more.

This evening, RWA has announced to its members that, due to HQ's new vanity/subsidy publishing line, it NO LONGER recognizes Harlequin as an RWA-approved publisher. RWA doesn't approve vanity publishing because it believes that a publisher should NOT charge a writer money for publishing them, that a writer must be protected from possible scams.

HQ is a big, big presence in RWA. At Nationals, many of its editors give workshops and appointments to RWA members who are given the opportunity to pitch their manuscript. There are also many published authors signing their HQ-published books. By no longer recognizing HQ, there will be no more publisher spotlights or workshops or appointments. Harlequin editors can still attend the conferences, but they'll no longer be comped.

It takes really BIG BRASSY BALLS to ban the Big Player. This decision will have many consequences that will affect authors/members in many ways, from insider knowledge of, and access to, a popular publisher, as well as the revered RITA award, given to published books. HQ is so big, they have several categories in the RITAs--I can't stop stressing the havoc HQ's ineligibity is going to bring.

c) Hottest Balls

I leave the most interesting for last ;-). None of the above balls is relevant to a reader who doesn't write or care to be published. The only balls they care about are real ones, especially if they belong on a sexy man. Ahem.

So therefore, who has the hottest, baddest balls?

Why, I submit to you: The Case of the Scurrilous Scrotum, belonging to a man who is fated to one day eat these Peter Peppers:

And that's your Mid-Week Hot News.

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Dirty Feet And Thunder Cheeks

You know the band AC/DC, right? They have a popular song/album titled Dirty Deeds Done Dirt Cheap. I've never paid attention to the lyrics and usually just hum this particular song when I hear it on the radio. I've always thought the lyrics went...

Dirty feet and thunder cheeks

Never thought anything about how ridiculous they sound since I'm not paying attention anyway. Of course, I should have wondered more at the puzzled amused glances I'd gotten throughout the years from the guys working at the job sites. Today, I was properly corrected by a Very Serious AC/DC fan, mainly because he's tired of listening to my howling out "dirty feet and thunder cheeks" while his favorite song is on.

My point is...maybe because of all my babbling about VHers coming out soon and NOT being clear, or maybe some of you just saw the cover pic and assumed, or you heard something different from what I'd been saying...I wonder whether some of you realize that VIRTUALLY HERS is coming out as an EBOOK this October???

In the contest commentary, quite a few are saying they're going to drive their postmen crazy. This makes me think that either there's a misunderstanding or that you're going to wait for the print format to come out. Nothing wrong with the latter, mind you, but I wanted to be sure.

So. In case, there's some confusion:

VIRTUALLY HERS is coming out as an Ebook this October. It will be available from the Samhain website, as well as Fictionwise, Mobipocket, Amazon, Allromanceebooks and BooksonBoard. I'm not familiar with all the formats available for e-readers and electronic gadgets, but I've downloaded ebooks straight into my computer without any problems.

VIRTUALLY HERS, the print format, will be available some time next year (2010). I'll let you know the actual date as soon as I have the information.

*****

Are we all straightened out about the what-what? ;-)

Now it's your turn: What song lyrics have you unknowingly mangled through the years? Betcha it wasn't as bad as "dirty feet and thunder cheeks" for "dirty deeds done dirt cheap!"

Bear with me while I learn. The first button likes the POST. The second button likes the BLOG site. Please help me by "liking" me. Thanks!
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