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I was writing this spoof on author Alan Elsner's dismissive article about how romance books today killed romance (but not his romance book) on HuffPo to the kewl tune of Milkshake....then I changed my mind about putting it out in public because, you know, it's Christmas time and...and...my readers won't care about being indirectly called stupid by Alan Elsner, great love story writer.
So, anyway, I thought I'd just show the link to bad sex passages (Literary Review entries) of non-romance writers who are probably great love story writers like Alan Elsner instead. I'm sure you'll agree these are gems. Like:
She puts her hands flat against his chest and leans into him in a simulacrum of a swoon, making a mewling sound. Her hips are goosefleshed and he can feel all the tiny hairs erect on her forearms. When he kisses her hot, soft mouth, which is bruised a little at one corner, he knows at once that she has been with another man, and recently - faint as it is there is no mistaking that tang of fish-slime and sawdust - for he has no doubt that this is the mouth of a busy working girl. (The Infinites by John Banvilled)
or, for the win:
Then, Bobby starts scrabbling frantically across the carpet for Mr Condom, sending five or six multicolour Durexes flying through the air, and he struggles getting the packet open and Georgie has to roll Mr Condom down Mr Penis for him and she has to help insert him into Mrs Vagina (Ten Storey Love Song by Richard Milward)
Oh yes, these entries certainly beat my little rap song about Alan Elsner's milkshake getting all the boys. Hee.
Get thee there and tell me how you love these great sex scenes!
Bear with me while I learn. The first button likes the POST. The second button likes the BLOG site. Please help me by "liking" me. Thanks!
NO NEED TO CLICK TILL I TELL YA: RESERVED FOR NOT SAFE FOR WORK STUFF
