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I'm revealing special secrets today that you'll find helpful in understanding His Jedness and other COS and GEM world characters.
1) Jed is a reversed transvestite. He will make a final decision at the end of the series whether he wants to be known as Jed or Jeddy. He is, as you know, a very detached character. He's so detached, even his penis is detachable.
2) Armando is really a vampire without a soul. He's looking for his lost love Buffy who is supposed to be reincarnated sometime during his lifetime. Obviously, he doesn't watch TV, or he'd know he's missed his chance.
3) Tess's hair is going to fall out from years of dye and weaving. She'll be embarrassed because now Alex will see her secret tattoo on top of her bald head--it says...GO DARLING BRAVOS!
4) Hawk gets caught wearing edible underwear by his team mates. They are so turned on at the sight of their commander that they chased him, strapped him down, and did manly, SEAL things to his body.
5) Ricardo Harden is going to suffer from a heart attack when he finds out Nikki is having octuplets.
6) Cam and Patty rise as vampires and join the Armando coven. It'll be a super secret COS division, looking into werewolf activities in Asia. Because, dammit, there aren't ever any werewolf packs running wild in Asia, with funny Chinese accent, with their matted werehair stinking of cigarettes.
7) Heath Cliff is going to flog himself to death. Before doing that, he's going to have sex with a runaway camel while chasing after bad guys in the desert.
8) Helen is running away with Flyboy. He drives a fast car and a fighter jet. He watches old Carol Burnett shows. He dances. He has dimples. Choose Jed over him? No way.
9) Cucumber is opening a restaurant with Jazz in New Orleans. It's going to be called All That Cucumber. It's going to be so big, he's going to have a reality show on TV, in which women like Lady Zannah will compete to get to eat the perfect cucumber.
10) The ComCen Eight Ball is going to be reprogrammed to sound like The Terminator.
11) There will be a gay romance between Shahrukh and Sullivan. It'll be called Brokeback Commandos. There will be angst. There will be drinking. There will be tears. Lots of tears. Every damn chapter. When they finally get together, all the other commandos will cry too, from happiness.
One of the above is a false statement. Can you figure which one?
Signed,
April's Fool
Tuesday, April 01, 2008
Super Virtual Revelations!
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9 comments:
LMAO!!!
OMG, Jenn. I love this.
I'm going to have to say that #4 is a false statement. Hawk would never let himself be caught. *g*
Have to pick #1...because you know... it's Jed. Can't have stuff falling off at inoportune moments.
Do I have to pick just one? LOL
;)
Leilani
Since it's April's Fool, you're actually saying ONE of the statements is true, right? //evil I'll pick Eight Ball as The Terminator, then.
Can anyone tell me what a reversed transvestite is????
Sign me up Cumber baby! LOL
The false one is #7, everyone knows Heath baby doesn't like camels; he likes horses.
OMG i cant pick one!!! the only one i think WOULD and SHOULD be true is poor Tess and her hair!!!
~Vanessa
A Jed and his junior Jed shall never be parted. *gg*
btw, love the hawt new header. lol.
#5 is false (or rather the reverse, true), 'cause if my significant other was having octuplets, I guarentee I would have a heart attack. Maybe two or three.
LOL, all your theories are funny. I have no idea what a reversed transvestite is but it sounds...difficult, like Jed.
I can tell you, though, that it's EASIEST to write in a Terminator sounding EIGHTBALL than any of the other spoilers. Yes? LOL. But you're sure tempting me with the octuplets, Vince.
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