Porcupine Romance: Let Me Show You It

Well.

I'm speechless.

Today, Ranger Buddy needed help googling to get some extra credit points for his Psych class. Not a problem. I'm the Google Queen, after all.

The extra point topic? I have no idea how it pertains to psych class: PORCUPINES MATE COURTSHIP BEHAVIOR.

Argh. This is even worse than the donkey show I linked to. Of course I have to share the deets. It's all about the romance, anyway.

Passionate Porcupine Copulating Dance

This article tells you how a horny porcupine will behave in his/her cage as she awaits his/her mate. I can see the student who's, uh, stimulating the female porcupine so she could write down her reaction for her paper.

"With his pointed penis fully unsheathed and erect, [the male] rears up on his hind legs and, from a distance of about six feet, begins to squirt her with urine — an amazing feat, since most male animals cannot urinate with an erection. She does not like the scent bath and growls, snarls, and snaps at him until he stops.

"He often approaches her on only three paws, using one paw to hold his penis and gently stroke it...."

Argh, the image is hurtin' my tender eyes.

This following short passage is from http://www.straightdope.com/:

Porcupine sex is not the exercise in S&M you might imagine but it does have its kinky aspects. I quote from Roze: "Perhaps the strangest aspect of the interaction is male urine-hosing of the female. The male approaches on his hind legs and tail, grunting in a low tone. His penis springs erect. He then becomes a urine cannon, squirting high-pressure jets of urine at the female. Everything suggests the urine is fired by ejaculation, not released by normal bladder pressure.... In less than a minute, a female may be thoroughly wetted from nose to tail."

Me: Eww. Urinized by a porcupine. Eww. Eww. Note to self: No were-porcupine stories, except maybe for Literotica.

So much for foreplay. If the female decides now is the time, she hoists up her rump a bit and raises her tail, the underside of which is quill-less, and curves it up over her back, covering the quills thereon and exposing her genitalia. The male then approaches in a gingerly manner from the rear, walking on his hind legs and taking care to touch nothing with his forepaws but the safe part of the tail. The relevant apparatus having been lined up, docking occurs, followed by "violent orgasm" as the male unloads a year's worth of jism. The act lasts 2-5 minutes and may be repeated several times during the half-day window of opportunity.

So there you have. Porcupine porking paper. At least I got a blog post out of it.

Ranger Buddy is so going to owe me a lunch.

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