A LOW PROFILE: weirdos

Showing posts with label weirdos. Show all posts

Saturday, February 19, 2011

The Strangest Furniture For Your House

Yes, they are for sale. Yes, they're quite expensive. Really, why would anyone do this to their home?

This is taking the "I wanna feel born again" feeling to the extreme.

I'm not sure what this chair wants to be, but it looks like a deflated sumo wrestler about to fall off one.

AHAHAHAHAHAHAAHA. Poor tiger. He doesn't look very happy. And I think I'd trip on his tail every day. My dog would be chewing on it too. Poor tiger.

This is actually a designer's bathroom. I can't imagine how it must feel to lean over one of these every morning to brush my teeth.

This crystal chandelier is available for your mega magnificent hallway for a small fortune. Don't let it fall on one of the guests, although it might be memorable to be killed by a crystal penis.

I plan to put this in my living room. But it doesn't really look that comfy because if you study its...shape...you'll see that you'll have to lean over all the time while nestled between the...ah...nuts. That would make it really difficult to watch your favorite show.

Seen any funny furniture lately? :D Or maybe you bought one?!

Bear with me while I learn. The first button likes the POST. The second button likes the BLOG site. Please help me by "liking" me. Thanks!
NO NEED TO CLICK TILL I TELL YA: RESERVED FOR NOT SAFE FOR WORK STUFF

Wednesday, February 25, 2009

I'm Too Rustic For My Shirt

I've been wiped out by the Oscars. Truly. My energy level has not been the same since those four lost hours. It's had some weird effect on other people as well. Going through news, I came across the report that Simon Cowell has announced that he's made plans to have his body frozen after his death. You know, cryogenics.

Wow, what a cool way to spend gobs of money right now.

I'm too tired to really understand the whole concept, but I do get the human fascination with coming back to life, but my question is, if you die at 80, would you really want to be frozen and brought back to life at that* age? What if, in the future, everyone looks like Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt, and now, you, small, wrinkled, and cranky? Would you be happy staring at Ted Williams' head?

Nononononono. I don't want to come back as Gramma Jenn, all cranky and athritic, and possibly unable to climb on roofs any longer. What fun would that be? ;-P

See, I think that's the difference between men and women. We women want eternal life PLUS all the trappings of youth, hence our paranormal romances always make sure the hero and heroine stay young even when their lifespans are in the hundreds or thousands of years. Our vampire hero may be the oldest soul on earth, but dammit, he better have abs of steel and look preternaturally beautiful. Forever.

We'd need that assurance before we commit our body to the science of cryogenics, you know? Me, I'd also throw in chocolate. Make sure the future has chocolate and hmm.... But men, they just simply say, "Hey! Frozen after death till someone finds a way to bring me back to life! Yeah, let's do it!" (pumps fist). Have they never read Frankenstein? That poor dude was considered a monster and ended badly. Oh, wait, a woman wrote that book ;-).

So, anyway. Simon Cowell, just give me some of that money you're going spend on this cryogenic project. I promise to spend it a bit more wisely.

What about you? Would you like to wake up in the future like that? Or would just prefer to be a vampire? LOL. Hey, it's 1 am and I've to go to work in 4 1/2 hours. The people who own the house I'm on is so wealthy they want the roofers to make their roof broken down and "rustic"-looking (break some of the tiles, lop-sided rows, paint "moss" to make everything old and un-cared-for) so their mansion would look different from the others in the neighborhood. Yes, I'm bitter and "rustic." Bite me.