First Week Of Classes

Last semester, I wrote about how I helped Ranger Buddy study his Literature courses, trying explain subtext with roofing terms and other interesting stuff, like how "running with the bulls" is an extension to his innate desire to chase after his crazy youth. Heh. The look on his face was classic.

The second semester has RB taking on some serious biology and chemistry classes. So, in case you think that I* don't learn something from Ranger Buddy, here are some interesting facts that I've added to my arsenal of knowledgeable stuff to pass on to bloggers:

1) The area between the anus and the frontal privates is called The Perineum.

From what I could figure out, it's an area supposedly filled with nerve endings that are left over from other places to put nerve endings. ;-) If you google Cosmo and perineum, you'll find the venerable magazine telling you that it's a sexy place to massage. I, uh, choked on my coffee.

You know, I'm going to start a weblog with that name. It's just too perfect to resist. You'll have to help me figure out the contents to put therein.

2) Protons are positively charged. Neutrons are neutral.

A Proton walked into a bar and ordered beer.
The bartender asked, "Are you sure you don't want water instead?"
The Proton replied, "I'm positive!"

A neutron walked into a bar and ordered beer. "How much?" he asked.
The bartender said, "For you, no charge!"

So, as you can see, I learn just as much great stuff while Ranger Buddy is in school.

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Uber Dry Again

The sky was a jewel blue today and you'd never have thought it'd been raining for seven days straight. I watched the two "old ladies" as I now fondly call my two older mutant poms stroll around the backyard, checking out all the fallen twigs and leaves. They don't run as fast or jump as high as they used to but they still enjoy a little roll in the sunshine. The other younger mutants sometimes bother them a bit too much and then there're lots of squabbling in the backyard. But not this morning because all of us are happy to see the sun out again.

Today is also the first day of school for Ranger Buddy. It's his second semester! ;-) His first class--Music Appreciation. When I asked how the class was, he said the teacher asked the students to name the tunes on their I-Pods. I burst out laughing. Oh yeah, the Caveman hasn't ever touched an I-Pod in all his life. Then the teacher asked what's their favorite kind of music/bands and RB said he'd never heard any of the names the students gave. This. Is. Going to be another fun experience ::grin:::, eh?

In case y'all think RB doesn't know any of the recent music, he does a mean take of the Red Hot Chili Peppers which will make you do a double-take, LOL. It's just hilarious to him screaming the lyrics:

"What I got you got to get it put it you (accompanied with some RB moves here)....give it away, give it away, give it away now..."

When I first saw him doing that on the roof many, many years ago, I almost fell off laughing so hard. I'll never forget WTF looks on the faces of the young electricians whose radio was blasting that number. Or the time when he "rapped," using nursery rhymes, just to prove he could. Man, maybe he'll do that for extra credit for this course ;-). I'll pay to watch.

Of course, now I'm having ridiculous thoughts of us (yes, you and me!) silver-haired old ladies screaming along to "Crazy Bitch." Or anything by Nine Inch Nails. Oh dear. Are we going to some very wild old peeps ;-).

Here's another picture of Killian. Because it's STILL MY BIRTHDAY MONTH, you know.

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Post #2: RB's New Adventure

Yo, what is 3 plus 3 cube 3?

So easy to do it on a paper. So damn tough to do it on a TI 84 Calculator. For $130, you get to see RB struggling with his new toy, trying to learn how to use a fancy-schmancy calculator. It comes with a 90 page instruction manual and I think, if not for the cost, the thing would have been hitting the wall several times already.

I'm not calculator-smart. I've always used paper and mind myself, and my calculators tend do be the cheap Walmart kind because I only need the plus and multiply functions for long-ass additions. However, RB is the ONLY person in his class who doesn't use a calculator and it's time to own one for the really tough calculus math he will be doing this semester.

So the poor dude is sitting in the restaurant trying to understand it by doing simple calculations for now. I'm helping him, in my limited way. Limited, because my patience with instruction manuals is equal to the thickness of silk thread. Plus, I'm no good when it comes to looking at calculus formulae and even duplicating the sum into a calculator looks harder than putting a roof on. It took me twenty minutes to get the answer for the above question (3 plus 3 cube 3), a problem that I can do in a few seconds, and that's with a lot of guessing at button pressing.

Poor RB. Which is harder? Running with the bulls or learning how to use a TI 84? ;-)

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Ranger Buddy Slaughters A Classic Act II Scene III

Man sitting at the restaurant table. Loud disgruntled moan. Woman looking up from the newspaper.

Man: I listened to three hours of lecture on The Hobbit last night.

Woman: Yeah, deep stuff, huh?

Man: (inhuman moan) I thought the story was about some rabbit looking things who like to stay home and smoke their pipes. Turns out they were some representation of some English folks. (rubbing his face wearily)

Woman: (coughing) Rabbit looking things?

Man: Yeah. They live down a hole. They have fur. Rabbits, right? She showed some pictures from the movie last night and they didn't look nothing like rabbits. Which made sense, actually, because when I read about the Eagles coming out to help them, I'd thought, why wouldn't they eat the Hobbits, which were rabbits, you know? But now, I guess they really weren't, so that's why the Eagles didn't eat hobbits.

Woman: (coughing harder) (trying to think of rabbits walking around onscreen)

Man: (getting into story-telling mode now, since he ALWAYS manages to launch to telling the whole story no matter what the question is) Then the wizard came and took the hobbit off to adventure, and hobbits, they didn't like adventure because they liked to smoke pipes and eat, but this one, he had something in his bloodline, and so he was off to do some adventuring, and the elves, they looked at the wizard and thought, "Why the fuck are you hanging out with this hobbit for?" (starts to gesture animatedly) Then they ran into trolls which represented the lower classes or something in Britain, and the hobbit stole something and that made the elves liked him a bit, but then he got caught and so again, they looked at the wizard, and was like, "What the fuck are you doing hanging out with this hobbit for?" And oh yeah, the owner of that ring was a snake which turned out not to be a snake, but was a damn hobbit. (big excruciating sigh)

Woman: (speechless with admiration of this brilliant synopsis of The Hobbit) (choking on lunch)

Man: And it's all about World War One (loud inhuman moan and smacking his forehead with paper). Rambo rabbits. I give up.

********

You sure you want to hear Ranger Buddy slaughters Shakespeare's Othello?
;-)

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Congratulations!

Yesterday, in FL., a nuclear power shutdown. A major power grid failure from Jacksonville to Miami. Millions of people stuck in darkened buildings during work hours. Commuters jammed up at traffic lights. Screaming people in elevators for hours and hours. In short, total chaos.

Ranger Buddy's test score for Math and Psychology came in at exactly the same time. Math: 110 over 100. Psych: 120 over 100. Both broke the curve grid.

COINCIDENCE?

I think not.

And what's the big shock in your state today? We'll blame it on RB breaking the curve.

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Such Smart Roofers Our Brains Might 'Splode

Short one for today because I've been on the puter FOR HOURS working on a paper that's NOT MINE.

RB's second paper assignment, folks, is all about cause and effect. So, I'll let you guess which title below is RB's new paper, 'kay?

1) How Losing My Dog Made Me A Better Person

2) My Small Lie Ruined My First Love Affair

3) My First Car And My First Responsibility

4) The Story Of My Move From Big City To Small Town

5) Learning How To Fix Cars With My Dad Led Me To College

6) The Federal Reserve And Its Role In The Dollar's Fall

Bwahahhahaha.

Guess who spent HOURS trying to get economic and financial sources for the dude? Uh-huh. Oh yeah, I want to see the glaze going over their eyes as he reads this one.

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