Everything Tastes Uber Bland

Ranger Buddy and I heard a funny joke at Shit and Grits today. You know, the place where all the wise guys and old geezers get together to talk shop and politics. Anyway, on the economy, one of them said:

The federal government today announced that it is changing its emblem from an Eagle to a CONDOM because it more accurately reflects the government's political stance. A condom allows for inflation, halts production, destroys the next generation, protects a bunch of pricks, and gives you a sense of security while you're actually being screwed!

Best. analogy of. Bailout. Ever.

It's good to know we're guaranteeing some rich guys' bad loans, isn't it? ;-P It's spoiling all my usual fun of reading the Presents lines. I keep thinking of titles like:

The Billionaire's Lost Virgin Bank Account
The Gabillionaire's Secret Wedding Loan
Subprime of Passion
The Virgin's Suddenly Poor Banker Lover
The Blackmail Wedding Loan

See? No fun to be reminded about reality when I'm indulging in my Presents mind candy. So...instead of them, I delved into my good old reread shelf and did a major old Linda Howard glom instead.

Did you notice that I haven't said a peep about baseball post season at all? I seemed to have lost my passion for the World Series excitement ;-(. I mean, Tampa Bay should stir the Floridian soul a bit, right? Sigh. It just isn't the same without my Braves to cheer for and the Yankees to boo at, you know?

You guys have been extremely quiet. Are you busy or just finding things bland too? Maybe it's time to bring out some Sexy Veges to perk us up. What say you?

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Post #2: This Is NOT Uber Alpha Behavior

1) Alpha males do NOT wear gold lame tiger-striped thongs for WHATEVER reason.

2) Alpha males do NOT share their thongs with their teammates.

3) My romance heros will laugh their asses off at these rich millionaire metrosexuals.

This could be the reason why the YANKEES HADN'T WON ANY WORLD SERIES in recent baseball history. In fact this could also explain A-Rod's strange infatuation with Madonna (he wants to try her conical bras next). You would think they could just BUY THEIR OWN. But no, they like to share, it seems. And no one knows whether the Owner of the lame thong wash them in between borrows. Ew. Don't believe? Read both links.

You can't blame Giselle Bundsen for this.

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Post #3: TWAP!

Baseball season in the US starts tonight. My beloved sport.

GO BRAVOS! Let's play ball!

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Spring Festival

REMINDER: VIRTUALLY HIS ARC CONTEST

ENDS 7 MARCH 07

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Mood today:

It's Bike Week here and that means 500,000 roaring motorcycles for the next ten days. I have a feeling it's going to be a crazy time too because the whole event starts right on a full moon and an eclipse! Yoikes. Lunar energy. Can you see a bunch of werewolves out on their Harleys? ;-)

Saturday is also the Chinese Lantern Festival, the first full moon of the first lunar month. It's a fun time for kids, especially, because we get to light little candles in fun-shaped lanterns and carry them around in the darkness illuminated only by the moon.

My mother would make sweet dumplings and tong-yuen the night before. I'm thinking about the texture and the taste--it's very different and hard to describe. I googled "tong yuen taste texture" just to see what the Net brings up and have to laugh at the dozens of posts in MALAYSIAN blogs comparing tong yuen at different eateries. We Malaysians love to eat. Nothing has changed ;-).

When I was a little kid, my grandma would take me to the pasar malam, night bazaar. She would watch Chinese opera and I would dance around with my fake sword and Chinese lanterns and pretend I was one of those long-haired immortals that could fly. I would squat in front of the big ditches to watch the little boys play. Sometimes I call them names.

Now that I think about it...I still squat down and watch boys play.

You can hear me shrieking, can't you? GABE! GABE!

Heehee.

Ah yes, it's the starting of Spring all right. For my eyes, anyway.

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