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Word got out among the roofers that the Asian chick wrote books. Now everyone in the truck is taking me to a private corner to bend my ear about writing HIS story. Ahem. Can I set some rules about what is probably NOT going to be Very Romantic Elements for a hero?
1) A story that includes your 12 page rap sheet containing all your drunken driving adventures and how proud you were to violate probation so you could get your license back quicker.
2) Any scene that has you fighting with black prisoners who want to beat you up for your candy.
3) How you use to drive your titty-bar girlfriend around to her "clients."
4) A story with anything to do with how you made and lost your fortune running a naked dancers bar.
5) It's difficult to find a sympathetic heroine if you, the hero, still lives with your mother at the age of 42 (and not pay rent) because you spend all your money on beer every week.
6) If the story has the hero (you) doing anything illegal and there are four chapters about the different quality of service in each jail in which you were incarcerated.
7) It's difficult to be Alpha about the fact that you can't pass a urine test and...never mind, YOU don't want to know the rest of this story.
8) If everything you remember revolves around a date at a metalhead concert in the late 80s and 90s.
9) No, I also don't think your idea about the monster truck bash and mud baja-ing would go very well, along with the drunken party in which you lost your front teeth to the brothers who was so tough they drank each other's vomit.
10) Really, you used to party with the Mets and Detroit Tigers when you lived up north? Aw.
Sigh. Help.
Thursday, April 09, 2009
Word Got Out
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4 comments:
I would love to see how you would spin a 42 yr old hero that still lives with his mother and doesn't pay rent. i think it would be funny but not really sexy.
I can see it now..... putting his butt on the line, getting the job done, saving the girl and having her want to thank him with hot wild monkey sex, no strings attached.He would take her home,and when having said sex in his bed with super hero bed sheets, asking her to keep it down when she finishes so his mama wont wake up. I think it would be very very funny.
Your a great writer and i really think you could make it work :) i am sure i'd have a few laughs lol
You know what? All those sound more interesting and entertaining than the books I've read this week. This little town is in desperate need of a decent library AND bookstore (closest B&N is 20 miles away). Sad but true, at least at the end of this month we'll finally get the latest in the Black Dagger Brotherhood series.
How about the story where the alpha male leaves his wife and children and runs off with her sister only to wind up living with their mom (his mother-in-law)?? Yeah... my husband told me that story about one of the fellas he used to work on the roof with a long time ago. Ugh... What is it with these people??
Alpha male ends a ten-year marriage as an anniversary present and then moves in the wife's married friend AND her kids as soon as wife and HIS kids move out.
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