The weather has been beautiful in Central Florida this weekend, so I abandoned the reading and my current writing problem and spent much of it outside weeding and raking my garden. It helps me to think things through while I'm digging out roots and unwanted plants.
But avoidance isn't going to solve the problem ;-), so I'm back on the grind, trying to rewrite the final chapters of Grace, which is proving a bit stubborn. See, I was a headhopping ho in the days I was writing this story and I've included unneccessary point of views of minor characters. It was easy to take those out at the beginning when they were mostly a few sentences long, but now I find an entire scene written from this minor character's POV playing an important part in Grace's most dangerous moments! Bah.
I'd forgotten that this character held the key to a clue, so now I'm sort of stuck, trying to figure out how to rewrite this scene. I could just leave this POV in--I've seen sudden POVs popping up in books before--but for some reason, I feel like I'm cheating, like it's the easy way out. Bah again. I sure didn't think I was doing anything wrong when I wrote it the first time.
Weeding was sort of an appropriate activity since I was also "weeding" this manuscript. Do I have the answer? Not really.
So of course I fell into the Black Hole of Googleworm's Tunnel. I went hunting for stuff for my virtual reality books, looking for the new techy stuff in science that I could use on Hell. The Interwebs is a dangerous place to play in, I tell you.
Lookee what I found:
YOU TOO CAN TRAIN YOUR MALE TO BE ALPHA MALE
This website is selling alpha male hypnosis tapes using...ahem...BRAIN ENTRAINMENT. You know, the technology I put in Virtually His. Of course, I was curious as to what an Alpha Male is, according to this seller. Well. Be curious no more. Here is part of a list of how YOUR MAN can change once he is brain-entrained with the Alpha Male's attitude:
Establish Alpha Male Status
Achieve Your Dreams
Magnify Financial Abundance
Improve Time Management
Develop A Win Win Attitude
Grow Wisdom
Increase Happiness
Gain "Strength-Of-Steel" Confidence
Control Emotions
Smash Depression
Destroy Bad Habits
Conquer Manipulating
Be The Life of the Party
Have Confidence with Girls
Increase Flirting Skills
Have Great Sex
How to Handle Women Well
Increase Love
Increase Seduction
Improve Planning
Develop Effortless Rapport
Redesign Yourself
Improve Relationships
Success with Women
Rise Over Shyness
Understanding Girls
Effortlessly Sense What Girls Want
Increase Female Interest
Yes, you didn't know your non-Alpha male is just one depressed, wisdom-lacking, no-planning skillz loser, did you? Heehee. I kind of like the "strength of steel" confidence promise myself. And oh, "increase time management." Like, perhaps the Brain-Entrained Alpha Male can fuck and cook at the same time. For hours. To "effortlessly sense what girls want." Hmm. Yeah, massage every night, baby. And don't forget between the toes....
I'm not sure what "bad habits" would be destroyed from a non-alpha male. Nail biting? A slouch? Leaving his socks everywhere? Truly, if this brain-entrainment program can realign the male to pick up dirty plates and laundry off the floor, as well as giving up the remote, I'll start calling him Alpha whenever he wants!
So, I scrolled down some more, reading about the "key alpha male hynopsis features," a program that uses "the latest & most powerful techniques in Nero-acoustic, 3D Animation, Digital Video, Brainwave Entrainment & Hypnosis Scripts." Not sure what Nero-acoustic means, unless it sets your brain on fire while you listen to some mad fiddling.
But wait! I spied something: "Pick from Over 24 Different Models" using "attractive women." Say what? Is it possible I've stumbled upon some virtual reality sex brain-entrainment too? So I scrolled down some more and...
Hey, check it out, you get to pick your little Alpha Making Strumpet. Dear Would-Be Nero-Alpha Male, meet Anjali, Stormie and the two Celines.
In fact, there are about 20 other virtual girls just waiting to train your non-Alpha dude. Hmm. I wonder what the conversations during these brain-entrainment sessions would be like? ***grin
Alas, I don't know how much the download will cost but if you're considering this as a Christmas present, do please let me know so I can include this as part of my research. You know I'm going to use this somewhere in the Virtual books....
Flyboy: "Why are you walking so funny, dude?"
Armando: "It's called the Alpha Confidence strut."
Flyboy: "You've been playing with the brain entrainment shit again, haven't you?"
Armando: "I see dead Caesars."
Flyboy: "That's it, man, you gotta stop. I know you're the newest commando and all and want to catch up with our sheer Alpha Maleness, but taking drugs and using that brainwave machine won't get you there any faster."
Armando: "Says the man who hasn't reached first base with Hell to the man who's on second base."
Flyboy: "What? WHAT? What have you been doing with Hell?!"
Armando: "I hear dead Caesars."
And you think I made most of the stuff up, tsk. Maybe I'll just set up a site to train Alpha Male wanna-bes. I just find the idea of training and alphaness very ironic and amusing. Maybe you have some ideas to help me set up this new program?
Bear with me while I learn. The first button likes the POST. The second button likes the BLOG site. Please help me by "liking" me. Thanks!
6 comments:
Jenn!!!! That's it! You've found your "NEW" job! ROTFLMAO! Selling "virtual" manliness only for $19.95! I bet Jed is laughing is A$$ off right now!
OMG! That is too funny, but I just *love* the scene. {Glancing around, thinking of stealing Armando, wondering if anyone would notice he was missing} LOL
Jenn!
Training Alpha Males! That's a perfect book to write and you're up for it! Don't you agree, girls?
Wow. To train my guy into Jed. Wow. Or in Mo's case, into Armando. :)
ROFL
Mo, stealing Armando?! From whom? ;-)
Lisa,
Selling virtual manliness. Hmm.
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