Uber Eloquence

I read on the Book Standard that 100 NBC stations will be broadcasting the Quill Awards on Nov. 28. I wonder whether Nora Roberts and Janet Evanovich attended (they won). I'd like to see them on TV. I've never seen a book award show on the air before, have you? Will we be able to snark about the fashion, like we get to do for the Oscars? Will there be a red carpet walkaround? ;-)

I've only won one major book award, Romantic Times Book Club's Best Intrique in 2003 for Into Danger. It was a luncheon award ceremony, so we weren't very dressy, and everyone was sort of herded into a line to go up on stage to pick up their plaque. The thought of going up on stage to make a thank you speech terrified me and the more articulate the winners before me were, the more nervous I became.

When I finally walked up the steps and stood in front of the mic., I thought I was going to plop over and fall on my face. I'd totally forgotten my written speech thanking everybody in the whole wide universe. Instead, I heard myself mumbling, "When I asked Rodney, my male model friend here, how he overcomes being self-conscious while being on stage, he told me that he would imagine the audience naked, and everything's okay. Well...umm...you're all naked right now." (Audience snickering) "I want to thank my mom and dad, as well as my agent, but I can't do it with a straight face because you're all naked!"

I could see Rodney and my friends slapping their faces as they howled at the back of the room. Sigh. So much for being dignified and humbly grateful. Thankfully, my agent had an appointment she couldn't miss so she didn't see this awful performance. My ever so diplomatic Steve reported, when she asked how it went, that I was short and sweet. I don't think he was talking about my speech. LOL.

I envy those who always make such smooth and wonderful thank you speeches.

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