VIRTUALLY HERS came out Oct. 2009. Get it at SAMHAIN Publishing. VIRTUALLY ONE coming soon.

I've also made available at Amazon BIG BAD WOLF a COS Commando book, an earlier manuscript about Killian Nicholas Langley. You can sample the first five chapters right here. EBOOK now available for KINDLE, NOOK, and at SMASHWORDS for $4.99.

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Big Bad Wolf Author's Note/CH. 1

Big Bad Wolf CH. 2

Big Bad Wolf Ch. 3

(more chapters on left side bar below)

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Tuesday, April 11, 2006

Uber Author Has Weapons Too

As a romance writer, there is no escaping the usual questions from people:

"So, how do you research the sex scenes?"
"So, do you enjoy writing the sex parts?"
"So (it always starts with So... for some reason), when are you going to write about my love life? (this is very, very usual in the construction business, LOL, because all of them seem to think they are gods-in-bed)"

Or they go into some pretty good purple prose about the sex act. I say pretty good because I know they haven't read a romance book and were making it up as they got into the whole description process. It can get quite un-romantic by the time they're done with it, but it's still fascinating to listen to their imagination.

Some writers get awfully offended when people start doing that to them--the purple prosing and the emphasis on the sex scene. But it's funny to me. At the mention of romance author, people become a parody of "romance" authors immediately. Nobody does it to a fantasy or a mystery or a murder-book author. Nobody goes: "So, do you write, like, how the murderer plunges his knife repeatedly into the woman after he'd raped her and then dragged her into the basement and bury her under a ton of cement?" But mention romance author, and they all aspire to write the love scenes immediately!

It's easy to get into defensive mode and immediately say something like, "Romance books aren't just about sex scenes," and "it's about the growth of relationship between two human beings attracted to each other, blah blah blah blah." Watch their eyes glaze over ;-). And you didn't change their opinion one bit at all.

Men are interested in sex, no matter how they make fun of it. So being a romance writer isn't so bad, even when they "make fun" of it in front of you. I think it's their way of getting attention. They see the sexual act so differently and they don't understand how women could possibly understand that at all, since they don't have a penis. LOL. I mean, for goodness' sakes, women READ about sex when they should be LOOKING at sexy pictures. How could that be sexy? So they go into awful purple prosing mode.

So, the way I deal with it, when one of the construction men starts to spout purple prose, I become their champion: "Man, that sounds pretty good, Dick, you should write my love scenes for me!"

His chest puffs up. "Really? I always wanted to write, you know. Just no time. I'm pretty good, huh?"

"Oh, yes, that was memorable. Are you sure you don't want to be a romance author? Get all those juicy words you just said on paper for all your friends and family to enjoy too."

That suggestion usually produces just a little frown, with hoots from the other guys in the background, because he isn't sure whether you are making fun of him now. Besides, now I've put him on my level, that others would be reading what he's "written" and making comments like his.

"Well, you know," he says, a quick and nonchalant smile on his face, "I'm a busy guy. But anytime you need help with those scenes, you just come and find me, okay?"

"You bet," I said, with my own big smile. "Here, have a free book on me. Maybe you can read it and give me some suggestions. Or maybe you can give it as a present to your wife/girlfriend."

I will say this over and over. ALL HUMANS LOVE A SHINY NEW BOOK, whether they like reading or not. Their eyes brighten with pleasure and they thumb through it, whether they could read or not. All my victims--erm, I mean, converts--react the same way.

"Oh, wow, thanks! My wife/girlfriend/mom likes this kind of books. Maybe I'll get to read it too when I'm not so busy. Can you sign it? Dick and Mary? That would blow her mind."

Heehee. I love NOPAIN, don't you?

Have you ever encounter negative comments about your romance reading and did a conversion? And have you thought about trying NOPAIN? ;-) Sometimes, there's more T in me than I realize. LOL.

And who sez women don't like LOOKING at sexy pics?

We just prefer ours with CONTEXT and CONTENT!

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Mary Stella said...

Gennita, I was a guest on a live radio program last August with what turned out to be a female 'shock jock' and her studio full of cohorts. They had one guy reading from my book. He read the seduction leading up to the actual sex. I could have squirmed or gotten embarrassed, but, instead, I went with the moment and ending up playing the experience with humor. I asked him if I could send him all of my sex scenes so that he could read them to me and I could hear how they'd sound.

Instead of coming off as uptight and nervous, they decided that I was a good sport and an amusing guest. They mentioned the name of my book and my website multiple times.

kathleen dante said...

You're a bad influence, you know. The first thing I looked for in that pic was a VEL. ;>

SQ said...

OMG! What have you done to Charlie Brown?! First veggies. Now Charlie. What are ya doing to me?

And ooh! Who is that? And does he play for the Yankees?

My complaint re: the romance novel and its reader isn't so much the content. It's the cover. What's up with Fabio and his windblown hair + bodice ripped heroine covers? Those are SO 1980s. Come on! Jenn, you're lucky. Your covers are nice.

Laur said...

Nobody talks to me when I read or I snap at

Jenn, when will you organize a NOPAIN training session?

Gennita Low said...

Mary Stella,
You have always been great at public appearances, and this is no exception. Wonderful control of your circumstance! And you gained their respect because you laughed with them. ;-) You're a true Gem Operative.

Do not blame ME for your own guilty pleasures, heh.

Actually, I don't mind the bodice rippers when they are sexily done. I can't take the computer-generated ones on the e-books, the one that are advertised in RT. Some of them are downright horrifying.

And only you would be the one attending! LOL.

Gennita Low said...

I just remembered. YANKEES?! No, no no no no no. Now you know why I torture you with veges. ;-P


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