Things About Europe RB Didn't Like

1) The sausages taste funny

2) You can kill an enemy with the bread (okay, he concedes that might be fun)

3) The coffee cup is the size of a sip and he is a 100 sip man, used to Shit and Grits generous refills. There is NO refills in Portugal, France and Spain. He figures, if he drinks as much coffee there as he does back home, he'd have used up $1000 at $3.50 a sip.

4) Nobody understands his French (which he doesn't speak, LOL).

5) Exchange rate: US$2 = EU$1.05 back (ouch).

6) Small, Medium, Large, so easy. WTF is 35, 36, 37...48? (He was probably buying gifts for his girls. It's amazing how numbered sizes confuse a male).

7) Too many museums on too many hills (oh man, talk about serendipity. He snuck on a Viking/medieval/King Leonidas of 300 helmet-mask while I was struggling with my time-traveling Viking back home here! Must remember to try to get that pic from him to scan....)

8) The roofs were way, way, way up there and he couldn't inspect them while being mashed in a reveling crowd of thousands ;-).

You know, listening to him, it occurred to me that an essentially time-traveling Viking, even on some magic quest, would be quite vocal about the different foods he encounter. So, besides checking out the ladies, he would be eating quite a lot. You see how I get my ideas?

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Uber Chat!

My Yahoogroup moderator has found a good place for an informal live chat. If you are interested in joining me, please visit http://www.writerspace.com/ at 9pm EST, Sept. 8, 2007 (this coming Saturday).

Here are her instructions:

Go to http://www.writerspace.com/. Along the bar to the left top of the page, choose Chat Rooms. On this page, on the right you will see Authors Forum. BEFORE you go in, if you are new to Writespace, you will need to register a nickname - just click the link above the Authors Forum to register. Follow the instructions on that page. Then sign into the room! Of course you can always register anytime between now and then and save the hassle on chat night.

I hope to see many of you there! Come in and say hi. I'm looking forward to meeting y'all.

**************

Talking about chattery, here's another Word Magic moment with my roofer, Da Linguist Linguini:

DLL: "I can't walk on this roof!"
RB: "Why?"
DLL: "I'm wearing new shoes and they don't have any contractions."
RB (without pausing): "Tell me when you start sliding six minutes apart."

**************

A conversation at Shit and Grits:

Alien (regular customer who really thinks he's one) (turning around to talk to RB) (Notice all these conversations are to RB and not me): "My friend asked me last night whether I would leave him all my money when I die."
RB: "Oh. Well, what did you say?"
Alien: "I said, I don't know. But it's okay, my friend's going to commit suicide anyway."
(Jenn covering her face at this point)
RB: "So you should give him all your money when you die. Save him from dying, you know? Do a good deed and all that."
Alien: "That's right! I can save his life!"
(Later, waitress comes by with the bill).
Alien: "Can I pay you next week? I don't have any money.
(Jenn banging her head on table)

********
I tell you, I'm surrounded by aliens. Let's hope we make more sense on Writerspace ;-).

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The Legend of RB Continues

So it's near the end of Bike Week and traffic snarls up and down the main streets in town. I was with Ranger Buddy, going to lunch after working on a leak.

Some bikers were in the lane he wanted to turn into. It was very hard to get out of one lane into another because all the vehicles--cars and bikes--were bottlenecking to get into the freeway.

Suddenly, RB heard this gruff voice. "Hey, hey, mister!"

He turned and it was one of the bikers. "Yeah?"

"Do you live around here?"

RB rolled his eyes. "I'm in a work truck, sitting in traffic on a Saturday. Of course I live around here." (At that moment, I was thinking that he was going to say something rude, like "your week's up" or something like that, LOL)

"Do you know of any other way to International Drive without going on the freeway?"

RB nodded. "If you let me get in front of you, you can follow me down the back way on a scenic route," he told them wryly.

The biker said, "Great!" He signaled to the others and Ranger Buddy drove his truck in front of them. There were about ten bikers. He leaned out the window and roared, "Follow me, gang!" and started to puttputt down toward the country roads.

We went down the side streets and at one point I looked back. Holy smokes. There must have been fifty bikers following our beat-up old Toyota! Lord knows what the homeowners that live back there thought if they'd looked out of their windows!

Ranger Buddy took a look at the rearview mirror and started singing, "Leader of the pack! Vrroooooom! Vrrrrrroooom! Vrrrrrrrroooom!" all the way to International Drive. I joined in. It was quite a sight. We had a convoy!

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