What's Your Scandal?

Quick update post for now.

All weekend: READING OTHELLOW and writing OTHELLOW (sic)

What I really wanted to finish: HER SCANDALOUS WAYS by Loretta Chase (but instead, I sit here scandalized by RB's retelling of OTHELLOW and wondering how on earth I'm to make this an A+ paper)

The DAMN HOA BITCHES sent out bulletins that the lawyers are going to drive by to mark down those SCANDALOUS homeowners who dare to disobey the big hand of the HOA Branch Bitch and of course, lawsuits, etc. etc. How I hate those women who, for some reason, think that if their neighbor pressure-clean his driveway, their homes will suddenly increase $20,000 in value. My dears. That is not the magic formula for making the housing market better. Really.

Here's a Math Problem for ya:

Your boss just told everyone that either they take off 10 percent from their bills or they take off. After all, and I quote him, "the good Lord giveth and the good Lord taketh away." So the good boss taketh away 10 percent. Then this week, the manufacturer just informed their suppliers that materials--shingles, nails, tar paper, anything you can think of--will be going up 30 percent this month. So does your next bill include minus 10 percent plus 30 percent minus 10 percent, with the attached note, "the good manufacturer taketh away?" Because you know, the point of sweating my boobahs (and balls for RB) off is to actually make a living, not give a life.

Oh, am I ranting? It's Monday!!!!!

Your turn to rant. Or laugh.

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Heh! Heh! Heh! Merry Christmas!

Don't forget to enter your name for a chance to get Shiloh Walker's book! Just comment on yesterday's blog.

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When you see a fat guy with a white beard and wearing a red suit in a department store in December, say, around Christmas, and he turns to you with a twinkle in his eye and booms out, "HO! HO! HO!", would you really, REALLY, feel insulted and think he's calling you a whore?

I mean, is that really politically incorrect?

Apparently so, according to a department store in Australia. They had instructed their Santa trainees to say "Ha! Ha! Ha!" instead because "ho" is derogatory. Of course, news travel quickly around the internet and news-world, and there was some laughter and ridicule. The store has since backpedaled and issued an email saying that this wasn't why they started this policy, that "HO! HO! HO!" was frightening the children and they were just protecting the kids.

Do you buy that? If you do, I have a couple of heh! heh! heh! I wanna sell you.

And if you think I'm getting paranoid that people are forgetting what Christmas is about, Lowe's has started calling their Christmas trees "family trees" in their catalogues. Apparently, they didn't want to offend their non-Christian customers. Apparently, it's okay to offend their Christian ones.

What if you don't have a family and still want a tree? Is Lowe's insulting us non-family Christmas celebrants, huh?

So, if I see a fat guy in a red suit coming down the chimney booming "Ho! Ho! Ho!", he'd better bring a lot of goodies for that insult. ;-) And chocolates. Good truffles. I'm easy that way.

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I can't believe that it's time to think about Christmas already. Do you feel worn out? I feel very tired this year and will be glad to get 2007 over with, to be honest. But then, next year will be:

RUNNING OF THE BULLS YEAR.

Aiiiiiiii....

Yes, it's time for a Ranger Buddy Running Of The Bulls Update. Ranger Buddy tried running around a building the other night and 30 years of laying shingles have all but destroyed the cartilage in his knees. Thus, can I just be kind and say he was very. slow.? LOL.

In fact, he said it best when he described it to someone: "I was so pathetic, my only hope of not being gored is the bulls stopping to laugh at me."

So now the grand plan is to buy a mini trampoline (the really small round kind) and run on it to strengthen the muscles around the kneecaps. I'll update, of course, as soon as I get a pic of him landing on his ass when he springs too high. You know he's going to. There's no doubt in my mind.

One good thing, though. His trip to Spain is respurring him to practice his Spanish during lunch. At night he's studying for his nursing school stuff. Then there is the gym. And the ballroom dancing.

That man is a ho for pain, I tell ya.

Bear with me while I learn. The first button likes the POST. The second button likes the BLOG site. Please help me by "liking" me. Thanks!
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