So I Went Shopping In The Land of Giants

It's very rare that I take time to do much shopping of anything other than for food and roofing supplies.  I do like browsing around, but what with the bad economy (trying to conserve money), working all the time and being on my feet for most of the seven or nine hours, thus making me rather reluctant to walk up and down any more aisles, and rushing around getting paperwork and chores done, shopping is a luxury that I might sneak in once or twice a year.

Yesterday was one of those times.

I decided to check out several things.  First was the fashion department at several big stores.  Are women getting taller?  The last time I checked, I haven't been meeting any whose crotches are in my face while I'm standing. I mean, the length of the jeans, held up against my twee lil' bod, reached from my eye to my feet.  So, women have somehow become tall like the Navis and I just haven't met them yet.  I even checked the backside of these jeans to see if there were holes to accommodate the tails.

I then walked past the little girls' department. Is it the newest fashion among the kiddies to wear clashing colors and puffy sleeves? Dark purple shirts and green glitter and little hangy things on the side--WTH? Maybe it's a Halloween costume?

At the home improvement center, I went to check out washing machines and dryers.  Mine are very, very, VERY OLD, and although they still work, the dryer's timer doesn't, so I thought I'd just look at prices.  Wow. These super-duper models with the fancy buttons.  Do we need TWENTY different cycles to choose for a load? Seriously?! I've been washing my own clothes for a long while now, and I'm pretty sure either the Normal or Gentle cycle was all I've ever needed.

AND WHY THE HELL are these machines taller than me now?! Where are these damn Navi women washing their EIGHT CUBIC FEET of clothes that they need giant washers and dryers that look as big as a fridge?  If it's a top loader, do I need to bring my roofing ladder into the house now?

I ended up buying just necessities, but all these giganticism of goods started to haunt me.  For instance, do we really need toilet paper rolls that advertised themselves as FOUR TIMES BIGGER than normal? So, six rolls are now actually twenty-four. I remember when this trend started as twice the size, but now you can buy a big pack of twelve, which means you actually have FORTY-EIGHT ROLLS of toilet paper in your hands.

Why? Are Navi women and their families big somewhere else too that they need so much toilet paper? Why not just create one giant roll and be done with it?  I can see it now, sitting on the top shelf of the store, one spool of toilet paper the size of a tire, and the label on it saying it's actually ONE HUNDRED times bigger than the usual one roll. I'm sure it'd be a hit and housewives would be rolling them down the aisle and across the parking lot to their giant SUVs.

I'm sure it's not a coincidence that our TVs are now also Navi-sized, along with our Supersized Burgers and drinks.  The only thing that seemed to be getting smaller is my bank account. I demand someone to quadruple and supersize my savings, stat.

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