Roofer-Tinker-Tailor-Chimney Sweeper

I was setting up a signing for Big Bad Wolf at my friend's bookstore (she ordered 50 books!) and we got around to talking about the book business (there was some major downsizing and bad news in the book industry yesterday) and the economy in general. I asked her whether people were buying less books and she told me no, business has been steady. But her business relies on used books being returned and rebought, so I think maybe people are buying more used books.

My friend worked for Walmart a while back and still has connections with book buyers. She told me that the big stores like Walmart and BN aren't ordering at all, especially new authors, and she was getting phone calls from people asking for titles that they couldn't find. Many readers don't want to wait, so they get really disappointed when they can't find that particular book immediately. My friend is now stocking more new books than ever, so that's a good thing. Maybe independent book stores will get back some of the business they lost when the brick-and-mortar giant stores came into town.

I know many of us internetz-hoppers think the world revolve around our dot-coms, but in reality, internet sales for books are just a drop in the bucket for the book business. The item of choice is still the printed book because many readers live in small towns and cities and they don't commute to work by bus or subway, so don't need to bring their e-readers anywhere. Also, where I am in Florida, the readers are mostly retired women and they don't want to mess with electronic gadgets or readers with tiny fonts. They like the "fun" of driving to a store because it TAKES TIME and they have plenty of that, unlike us working gals ;-).

Talking about time, I have plenty of that nowadays too because of the lack of roofing. So I can understand how it doesn't seem like so much trouble to drive to the book store because...well, hell, I have 10 hours to fill up. Not all of us, it seems, are drunk on the Kindle Koolaid, the must-download-now syndrome. So I drive to my friend's store and mingle with the readers and find out what they are interested in reading these days. It's like my little Cheers bar, without the alcohol.

Anyway, the subject being time and joblessness, we started wracking our brains on how to help Gennita make a living. I guess they are tired of me hanging around ;-). Through the remarkable trivia knowledge of romance readers, here are some of the interesting things I can do to make some extra bucks:

1) chimney sweep
Do you know there is only one chimney sweep in the Yellow Pages that serves three counties around here? It could be because well, it's Florida, and we get to use our chimneys--if we have one--maybe twice a year. But hey, my reading friends opine that this dude could do with some competition this year. I could be a part-time chimney sweep and gutter cleaner.

2) Publix cake decorator/bread baker
It seems that there is a shortage in my area for someone who can actually spell or tell time. There are many who apply for the job but they don't stay long because, according to this lady who worked at Publix, the bakery area requires hard work and detail-oriented personalities, and most of those who apply think they're just there to sell cakes and cookies. There is a lot of time-oriented chores involved and not many seem to be able to follow a schedule and get the decorating right. Huh. So I could be your new bakery chick because I CAN SPELL.

3) Manuscript reader
There are still sooooo many aspiring authors out there. It seems everyone has a friend or a son or an uncle who has a manuscript that they want me to read. They'll pay me to look at their work. No. Just...no.

4) Toe nail painter
This woman actually has a job opening for me. Her employees are all Vietnamese and I look Asian, so.... I don't know how to paint my own toenails. How am I going to make other people's toes look good? Anyway, it was an entertaining twenty minutes listening to her tell me what the job entails--callouse-scrubbing and filing, dry-skin defoliation, cuticle-cutting, pretty-feet powdering.

I don't suppose it'd be very interesting to introduce myself as rooferauthor-toenailpainter-sometime chimney sweep, would it? Oh, you can forget about the tailor bit in the title. I can't sew. At least, when I'm done with the needle and thread, it doesn't LOOK like sewing.

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