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I'm not in jail ;-) if you've been worried about me.
Do you know the county court clerk here makes you swear, with one hand up in the air, that you haven't EVER taken a traffic class five times in your life before? Wow. How many people do you think have been secretly nursing their traffic class fetish and taking the courses so many times that our lawmakers have to think of a way to frighten these folks out of their lies?
"Swear you haven't ever taken this course five times, swear to God, and may lightning strike you if you dare lie about this! Swear on your grandmother's honor that you have not taken this course this year yet!"
I swear! I swear! Geez, it's Jan. 3rd, after all. I'm sure us traffic class fetishers were celebrating the New Year and yesterday...well, yesterday we were nursing Alpha males kicking sacks of sand. We have different fetishes on different days, 'kay? Sheesh.
Do you think this oath thing will catch on? I mean, wouldn't it be cool if you're signing for and buying a car, you make the car salesman put up his hand and swear on his grandfather's manliness that he hadn't sold more than five lemons for the year? And if he did, he would have to shamefully admit it publicly and pay YOU a fine?
Or, more ridiculous than sublime, before the guy gets too drunk, have him swear that he hadn't gotten drunk more than five times for the year and had never attempted to drive home. And of course, if he swears that, you actually believe him and give him his drink.
I'm just saying that taking an oath is a mighty serious thing. The last time I did, it was for something very profound. I guess lying about taking an online traffic course six times or more = hardened criminal.
Want to see a hardened criminal? Below is a picture I would name You Can't Find The Me:
It's my dining room chair. It has these velvetish flaps that cover the legs. Hardened criminals always find ways to hide:
Behold, Bad Gangsta-Puppy, hiding from making illegal U-turns. I have had six pomeranians before this one who'd wandered in and out of this room without ever discovering this hidden cubby hole. If there is a mess somewhere in this house, and if you're calling and calling him and he doesn't show up, this is where he's hiding.
"But mommy! I didn't do it!!! Not five times this year, anyway! I swear!"
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5 comments:
Bad puppy looks soooo cute there though. :) How did you end up finding him there the first time he was hiding? Did you notice one end the flap shaking in terror? Or did you hear bad puppy munching on miscellaneous book pieces and followed the sound? LOL
Awww come on Jenn, a cute thing like that couldn't possibly be guilty of anything........riiiiight.
Anywho, I've been bitten by the preternatural bug (bitten, get it, I made a funny). I'm reading the Anita Blake series now, I'm here salivating after a werewolf....sorry Heath I've been bad. I'll take my punishment now.
Your pup is just too cute la...
Leilani,
I first found him when I finally caught sight of a suspicious-looking nose peeking out. After the initial, "There you are!" I was just shaking my head at how sneaky he was.
Lady Zannah,
I love Anita Blake series till the tenth book. Beware, the whole series (tone and characters) change 180 degrees after Book 10. Go to Amazon and check out the hundreds and hundreds of screaming reviewers....
Fanciful Fern,
Yes, he knows it too, unfortunately. Gets away with too damn much....
Darn I just finished book 10, Please tell me that Nathaniel doesn't die, if he does I ain't reading any more.
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