Dicklit Vs Chicklit

I was laughing my ass off reading over a term--DICKLIT! It's the male version of chicklit. Dicklit is the ultimate male adventure with hot babes all over him, with sidekick (of course).

Men always say they avoid chicklit because it's all about shopping (especially shoes) and whining about the way men are. They know this from being forced to watch Sex In The City with their women ;-).

So DICKLIT has to have some obvious male misconception about themselves:

1) That, no matter, how balding and paunchy they're getting, they are still a SEX GOD.
2) That women, especially ones who look like Charlize Theron, want them. Love them. Adore them. Need to have them :gag:.

In a DICKLIT, usually a middle-age going bald dude (probably a professor, probably with some kind of writer's block, probably wife just left him/died) gets stuck in a hotel bar (probably at the airport, or in a foreign country, or just a snowstorm). He's joined by Charlize Theron, or her look alike, and she's all broken-hearted about stupid young men who only care about her looks, and she falls for middle-age balding dude.

3) Make Charlize a hooker/striptease with a doctorate of some sort. Yeah. She's really smart and therefore can see balding guy's inner qualities and helps him get through his writing block through

a) SEX
b) flirting, then SEX
c) mind-boggling stuck-in-hotel SEX

4) No wait, backtrack a bit. Charlize actually wants to get the middle-age guy's laptop because it has some kind of super secret manuscript in it and she's been paid to seduce him with

a) even more HOT! SEX

and she is about to get the laptop when balding guy's SIDEKICK shows up with all these weaponry and saves the day. Charlize sobs out her sob story about her sister being held hostage and that she MUST have this laptop, or else. Awww. So sweet. Got to save sister. Balding guy makes plans; his sidekick prepares weapons; Charlize looks pretty and falls in love with balding dude because he's actually going to save her sister!

5) Saving sister chapters/scenes involve BIG ACTION stuff, like cars no one can afford speeding all over the place; flying helicopters crashing in highways; a harrowing balancing act of jumping from one dangling elevator dangling in mid-air into another (lead by middle-age...no strike that, now called HERO) with laptop, Charlize and sobbing sister in tow). Meanwhile, SIDEKICK blows holes into buildings and speedboats that appear out of nowhere; sister trips and falls; SIDEKICK saves sister for himself.

6) Balding guy struts instead of walk. Smiles dashingly up at tall Charlize who smiles back and then they proceed to have Hot! Sex over the laptop while the sound of sirens are heard in the background (the clean-up crew, of course).

The End.

Oh, Dicklit can end tragically (Charlize dies) but balding guy turns and finds Charlize's grateful twin sister running over and doing a lapdance on him. She's some kind of high-powered lawyer and will defend him in court for all the damage he's done to the city. For free, of course. In between Hot! Sex!

James Bond 007 movies, btw, is the Ultimate Dicklit.

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