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Look at the picture of darling Tony in the link below and weep:
http://www.fox.com/24/ then click on profiles, then check out Tony's.
And of course, now I have this idea of doing profile pages for Cam and Patti with a big MISSING/DEAD stamped all over it.
I still love 24 but it will never be the same again, sob*.
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I have never read Jonathan Nasaw, so you bookseller chicks will have to confirm this for me. He writes very dark and very erotic vampire books--you can find all the five star reviews for him at Amazon.com. They are hardcovers, so quite expensive. Kirkus and PW reviewed his works like they are the bestest vampire intrigue evah. He runs with the big wolves (Rice, Hamilton, et al), so to speak.
There is this book he wrote in 1997 (?), titled Shadows. A reader had kindly sent me a scene from this book about the vampire's telepathic penis. She said the excerpt is from a blog that's called "This is what it sounds like when penises cry." It sounds like a site I don't want to visit too much ;-), but supposedly, it contains lots of rants against bad vampire sex scenes. Anyway, where was I? Oh yes, the excerpt. You HAVE to read this and weep too. Because Serious Reviewers always make fun of our romances and their "purple prose," and here, seemingly see nothing wrong with a telepathic penis:
Again, the sight of her nakedness seemed to arouse him beyond mortal lust; for the second time that night - the second time in her life - she made telepathic contact with a penis.He seemed to understand what had happened.
"I believe an introduction is in order," he announced, raising himself up high enough to tug his own robe off. His penis was briefly out of sight; when it appeared again, it was pointing toward the moon. "Selene, I'd like you to meet the Creature." He circled its base with thumb and forefinger - they barely reached around - and made the Creature nod hello. "Creature, Selene."
Oh dear. Oh dear. Coffee, meet my Puter Screen. Puter Screen, Coffee. Again, I have to be sexist--men can't write sex worth a damn.
What say you?
Wednesday, March 15, 2006
Which Is Worse: Uber Bad Write-Off or Uber Bad Writing?
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4 comments:
BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAA!!! ::gasp, gasp:: Heeee! Oh My Goddess! A telepathic penis?!? HAAAAAAAAA!!! ::hack, wheeze, pant, giggle:: That was BAD. I can't *believe* something that bad could see print. It's got to be a parody. Surely it wasn't meant to be taken seriously?
Perhaps he meant to write "telepathetic penis"?
R O T F M A O !!!!!
SQ,
Don't you wonder what HIS editor thought?!
Kathleen,
No, this is a serious erotic vampire intrigue-romance. As far as I know, it is ;-). YOU read it.
anonymous,
heh, uber-telepathetic!
But hey, the novel must be good. Amazon reviews were mostly good.
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