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Do not talk to me. Do not look at me. Do not mention Uncle Whatshisname. It'll make me whimper. He makes mush out of my brain every year, brainwashes me, and sends me back out in the field to do his bidding and PAY HIM FOR IT every year. How he does it, I don't know. Maybe...maybe it's in THE COFFEE!
You know your brain is in frozen stat when:
1) you're staring at the kettle and waiting for it to boil and realize that you hadn't turn on the stove.
2) you put your usual spoonfuls of coffee and start to stir...and REALIZE that you have put the coffee into the Whistler and are now trying to stir the whole pot of coffee with an itty-bitty teaspoon.
3) after you realize you have done so, you stare at the pot with the icky light chocolate liquid for a full five seconds and contemplated about adding the whole can of coffee in there and just say you had actually meant to make a whole pot of coffee.
Did you know that after OIL, coffee is the most important import-export commodity? In Dune, the "spice" that was coveted in the universe had several unique qualities: it allowed time travel (so space travel) and it gave visions to certain ruling groups of people. Many readers had thought Frank Herbert had meant that to be the allegory of oil and the wars caused by oil. I think Frank was actually suffering from an all nighter with Uncle Sam one night, and had woken up in need of da beano spice, and voila!...his whole hallucination about Dune and a giant worm became an obsession. What is it with guys and giant worms?
Maybe I'll get an epic out of coffee beans one day too. Spies who hide microchips in their coffee beans. Spies who addict a whole nation with coffee and...and...kill giant worms....
Actually, I have an even worse nightmare of what the uberspies are secretly doing. Click on the link below and see what they are planning and how they are going to achieve their goal. Don't worry, just click yes if you get a window yapping about a secured something or other. It's safe.
***Gasp! It's not the coffee....It's the TOOTHPASTE! Brilliant!
Bear with me while I learn. The first button likes the POST. The second button likes the BLOG site. Please help me by "liking" me. Thanks!
4 comments:
Perhaps secret messages are engraved in the coffee beans. You'd have to decode the decaf.
I'm a tea drinker. All these years, and I'm yet to read a leaf for my future.
OMG, you got to be kidding. Surely that link is not real? It can't be! I'm afraid of the future...sob...
I'm the same way, G. Coffee is priority numero uno as soon as my feet hit the floor.
Mary Stella, they will get you too! You just wait and see....
SQ, Starbucks is the HQ of all coffee-evilness. And I can't run; they are holding my poms hostage! Bastards.
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