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Whoa, I just traveled around and personally saw some of the damage the recent tornadoes caused. Scary. The builder I work for has a feature called hurricane/tornado room, where a family can secure itself. But, the tornado hit at 4am, when everyone was sleeping. So...does that mean that every time there is a violent storm at night, the whole family has to sleep in the one tiny room?!
We don't really get that many tornadoes down here in Florida, but yeah, when they happen, instant damage. We had a mild hurricane season last year, so this was Nature's way to balance it out, I guess. I hope my Florida readers are all okay.
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Regarding the title of this post, I meant to add: Not human uber-spies anyway. The things an author must do to accommodate her non-human lovers....I'm in awe at the imagination of those wonderful paranormal authors who have gone in romanceland where I never thought was possible ;-).
We were cracking up over shapeshifter paranormal romance books that have barbed penises and how our NHAH (Non-human Alpha Hero)'s penis would be too painful for his poor human heroine, remember? ;-) I was just googling about cats in heat, for research, ahem, and found the most hilarious information site about how How To Calm A Cat In Heat. If you care to click on the link, be sure to read about the rotating Q-tip method. And the description of a female cat's orgasm. OMG. And do scroll further down and check out the entry where the poster is questioning her porno-relationship with her cat due this experience. LOL.
You cat people. Just get a dog. Bwah. Okay, so we have the male dog whining thing going but that's nowhere near as bad as yowling. And, I've never used a rotating Q-tip on my female furbabees, thank goodness. Squick!
But you see, that's the kind of research a writer must ingest because she needs authentic worldbuilding. I was thinking, if the shapeshifter is a female cat, would she go in heat every freaking two weeks?! That would be horrible for the poor heroine. And tough to write about! Furthermore, the queen (female cat) is a bit on the promiscuous side, mating with numerous willing dandies for five whole days, so that could be a problem with the mating for life sort of romance we like to read, eh?!
Then, I found out about the TEASER TOM. He is the stud muffin without the sperm. Oh my. He's gone through vasectomy but his testicles and barbed hoohoo are intact, so he can still perform. He has one job--to pleasure the queen while she's in heat without inpregnating her. Five times a day, if necessary! Whoa.
You cat people. Just get a dog. Bwah. Okay, so we have the male dog whining thing going but that's nowhere near as bad as yowling. And, I've never used a rotating Q-tip on my female furbabees, thank goodness. Squick!
But you see, that's the kind of research a writer must ingest because she needs authentic worldbuilding. I was thinking, if the shapeshifter is a female cat, would she go in heat every freaking two weeks?! That would be horrible for the poor heroine. And tough to write about! Furthermore, the queen (female cat) is a bit on the promiscuous side, mating with numerous willing dandies for five whole days, so that could be a problem with the mating for life sort of romance we like to read, eh?!
Then, I found out about the TEASER TOM. He is the stud muffin without the sperm. Oh my. He's gone through vasectomy but his testicles and barbed hoohoo are intact, so he can still perform. He has one job--to pleasure the queen while she's in heat without inpregnating her. Five times a day, if necessary! Whoa.
Can you see this erotica world I'm jotting down notes for? My non-human heroine, the cat shapeshifter, will need the service of a Teaser Tom every three weeks!
In the real world, we'd just spay the cat so we could have some peace and quiet but then she won't want sex or loving any more, and how is a writer going to write about a romance without those two elements?! My mornings are filled with such wonderfully complicated thoughts, aren't they? ;-)
You know, I wouldn't mind having a teaser tom of my own. Preferably, one who looks like this:
Next really interesting topic to discuss: knotted penises. LOL.
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