To Get On The CHOP HER HEAD OFF List

New Author: "Today I want to blog about piracy of my books.  It is WRONG!"

Fan: "Oh no, that is so sad!"

Regular Romance Bloggersphere Traveler: "Oh no, dead horse ahead. Can we talk about plagiarism instead?"

New Author: "Pirates are thieves! I hate them!"

RRBT: "What's new? Please STFU, I don't want to hear this."

New Author: "Fuck all book pirates!"

RRBT: "That's it! Unprofessional! OFF WITH HER HEAD!"

Friends of RRBT: "OFF WITH HER HEAD!!!"

New Author's friends: "But she's right. Pirates are stealing from us and we want to say this out loud!"

RRBT and friends:  "Bored now.  OFF WITH YOUR HEAD TOO!"

New Author: "I think you're all wrong to judge me because I'm judging bad people, not my readers who aren't stealing."

RRBT: "I'm not your reader and so now you're telling me I'm bad?  You know what? OFF WITH YOUR HEAD!"

New Author: "Well fuck off to you too."

Lurker: "Oh wow, that's really bad behavior, Author.  OFF WITH YOUR HEAD! Telling all my friends to chop off your author friends' heads too!  I have hundreds and thousands of other authors to read, so there, that should shut you up about your stupid piracy concerns."

Another Lurker: "My momma said, if you have nothing good to say..."

Another Lurker: "Say nothing at all."

RRBT #2: "Actually, I--I mean, pirates--aren't stealing.  They're Sampling.  Yeah, that's the ticket."

New Author: "Sampling?"

RRBT #2: " It's normal.  People go to the store, eat out of packages first, and if they like it, they buy it. I know people who sample movies and music like that. They might sample 100 of them, but I know they bought the 101st."

Triumphant Researcher: "See here, it's just you're feeling taken. Don't, because look at it this way, they are helping you promote your work! Those thousands of downloads are from people who will then promote your work some more. You've gone viral! Lucky, lucky you!"
New Author: "%$#@!   &*$% #@!!!!" (Technical difficulties due to Snowageddon)

RRBT: "You're now on my Headless Author List. All you headless authors sitting side by side, how are your careers now? Hahaha!"

RRBT and friends: "Let this be a lesson to you, new author, not to ever say anything we're tired of. We're offended that you're mad about piracy--we aren't pirates!!! Because you'll know what will happen to you.  OFF WITH YOUR HEAD!  At your peril. On your blog.  To your readers. We will come by and chop your head off!  Now go write a blog post about how bad plagiarism is and about the lack of multicultural hero and heroines, even though those topics have nothing to do with your books."

Troll: "I read her book and it sucked."

Troll 2: "I heard she boils puppy too. Off with her head!!!"

Nora Roberts: "Wait a flaming minute. Only I can boil puppies."

Errrrrr.  Arrrrrr.

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