Why Male Writers Kill Off The Hero's Love Interest

Two weeks ago, Jack Bauer finally had sex on 24 and yeah, his woman died not long after. That Jack, he is just the death sentence for his loves (wife, mole/lover, South American mistress--all dead). The only surviving one is blubbering Awwwdrey and no, we don't care about her. Never did.

Anyway, I'm always amused when I hear males talking about alpha males. Because in their minds, the Alpha Male always leaves their women behind in the end, or else the poor females die because of them.

In an interview, Howard Gordon, the exe. producer, spoke of Jack needing an emotional anchor and Renee was it, like a soul mate of sorts, and then bam! They decided to off her. When asked whether that was the correct decision, Gordon said he didn't know till his wife cried and then he knew that it was.

What the hell is wrong with male writers writing about romance? Tears of anguish = win???! The fact that they kept taking away every possible sliver of sunshine in this guy's life means the right decision? Why?

The funniest part of the interview, though, was very telling. On the subject of HOW LONG does Jack lasts in bed, well, obviously men AND women have the same romantic ideals:

I thought it was interesting that you cut away from Jack and Renee for two whole acts after they started making love. Did a lot of thought go into how long it takes Jack Bauer to make love to a woman?

GORDON: Oh absolutely. And, by the way, Jack and Renee were not by any means done. I think this was probably closer to Round 1. I mean, he was just getting a glass of water. So yes, we were very sensitive about it because it’s a very sensitive thing. We really wanted to do it as tastefully and virile-y as possible for a man like Jack Bauer.

Alpha males must be good in bed and also be ready for several rounds *evil grin*. Of course, in the men's head, the Alpha male cannot stay in contact too long with girl cooties because that might rob him of his super powers or something. I suppose, in their eyes, that's true because a fallen Alpha Male = domesticated, always stuck to one woman. For example, look at Jack when he was with Awwwdrey. He hung up his guns and chose to be a sort of a kept man because of his love for her; in short, his Jack Bauerness was leashed because of his feelings for her.

Awww.

Now you know why men sneer at romance. They're afraid. Love and commitment in their minds mean something entirely different from our female version. So, love, yes, but then the love interest must go, by hook or by crook.

So now you know why guy books never have happy endings. They

1) want to make women cry
2) are afraid of losing their masculinity and become boring
3) need an excuse to rampage ;-).

An amusing collection of wiki-facts for Jack Bauer Fans: http://uncyclopedia.wikia.com/wiki/Jack_Bauer_Facts

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