VIRTUALLY HERS came out Oct. 2009. Get it at SAMHAIN Publishing. VIRTUALLY ONE coming soon.

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Big Bad Wolf Author's Note/CH. 1

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Sunday, December 14, 2008

Small Penis Syndrome


I thought I'd entertain your Sunday with a must-have-been time-consuming research study on penises. Because, you know, that's such an important subject to males--alpha or not ;-).

The stuff I have to read for romance research :::grin::: What can I say? The more I read up on male antics, the more I shake my head. Because everything always ends up to do with their manly nether parts.

Here are some test conclusions from the article:

1) 90 percent of women actually prefers thicker penises to longer ones.

My thoughts: Well, it depends on how thick it is, doesn't it? I'm sure if it has the circumference of a sweet potato, it'd send quite a number of us running. I'm sure y'all are going to let me know your thoughts on this ;-).

2) 55 percent of men aren't satisfied with their penis length.

My thoughts: Really? I'd figured it would be 100 percent. Don't men, like, compare penises all the time? They even have a name for it in this article--small penis syndrome (SPS). I kid you not. They have a syndrome for that. What, do we get to give a speshul name to our feelings of inadequacies too? Such as, small breasts syndrome (SBS)? Big Butt Syndrome? (BBS)

3) Men think of the stupidest ways to enlarge their penises.

THIS IS WHAT MEN DO WHEN THEY ARE THINKING WITH THEIR PENISES. Supposedly, these are true and tried methods:

The doctors point out some ancient tried and true methods for penis enlargement, but these aren’t any more comfortable. Indian Sadhus men, for example, use weights to increase their penis length, while the Topamina of Brazil encourage poisonous snakes to bite their penises to get a size boost that lasts six months.
The doctors pointed out that these aren't "comfortable" methods. NOT COMFORTABLE? How about stupendously insane? I can't think of a more painful way than to let some snakes bite my weener so that I look swollen for six months. Besides walking funny, wouldn't the sex act be the LAST thing on one's mind when one's penis is flaming swollen and INFECTED by snake poison?!

If you happened to see a guy walking funny and bent over, look closely. Maybe he's dangling a 50 lb barbell from his penis. You never know, the study says this method works, so don't be surprised some guy reads it and decides to give it a try.

Here's my contribution to dick enlargement: How about coating the penis with honey and then inviting 1000 African honeybees to sit on you for lunch? I'm sure the stings and catatonic pain would be so worth the results. Just make sure you aren't allergic to bees, of course.

You know what I'm going to do with this article, don't you? Have one of the SEALs cut it out and show it to Cucumber. Oh, I'm sure he's going to have something funny to say about big manly parts ;-).

You can read the rest of this ARTICLE HERE. Enjoy! And be sure to let me know if you think of any other more interesting ways to contribute to help males on how to enlarge their thang.

Bear with me while I learn. The first button likes the POST. The second button likes the BLOG site. Please help me by "liking" me. Thanks!


Deedee said...

LMAO. I can't think of any new exercise for them at this early hours but the thought of letting snakes bite their d**ks to look bigger is funny and stupid.

yovana88 said...

I wouldn't be surprised if males are able to enlarge their manhood with silicone too. That's the next step in the plastic surgery area I predict. lol

Sara said...

Men are so dumb. You don't hear women trying to make their women parts smaller.

Heather said...

Heh! Men have been doing stupid things to enlarge their members for centuries. I think one of my favorite works that lists a complete feast of WTF advice on increasing manly endowments, libido, and endurance is probably The Perfumed Garden. Complete with goat dung plaster casting of the weenus, intriguing use of insect venom, and hot pepper rubs. Woohoo! It makes for incredibly interesting reading.

Gennita said...

I remember The Perfumed Garden! Oy vey, yeah, the dipping into chili pepper rubs! That's going to taste so good too, heehee.

LadyZannah said...

I think I suffer from BBS, no was just the pants I was wearing. Never mind, it's all good now.

Gennita said...

Lady Zannah, they wouldn't give us a name for our "syndrome." No, they'd just say it's our imagination or that we're comparing ourselves with other women tooooo much. Ahem.

Anonymous said...

Sara women do get their over used vaginal lips tightened. It's called vaginoplasty. And EVERY GUY knows size matters. That's why most women own vibrators, and fake orgasms. Guys with big penises don't have to worry about that. If you have less then five inches you are basically useless. and sre often suicidal.

Gennita said...

Less than five inches makes a guy suicidal? Really? What if the guy is four inches and thicker than average? Would that make up for the guy's feeling of inadequacy?

Ricky said...

I wouldn't be surprised if males are able to enlarge their manhood with silicone too. That's the next step in the plastic surgery area I predict.


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