Waiting For Godot, or Where Is Uber Inspiration?

Yesterday, I took a whole day off. That means, no nothing, just complete rest. It was wonderful. I was alone with my dogs and we just ate and slept, barked (yes, I bark and yep when I'm alone with the fur mutants), piled up in my bed without the complaining man who hates the Alpha Bad Puppy and intermittently play with my email, slept, and ate cookies. Life felt good. Maybe that's my dream life, LOL.

I just needed it. My body and brain haven't been happy for a while and you know how Nikki Harden talked about the chuung being off...well, mine was off big time. It's as if every part of me refuses to acknowledge me when that happens, just existing for the sake of walking, talking, and doing chores. I hate that. Just existing = Unhappy Jenn.

The writing has suffered lately. Writing, in fact, has been awful. It's been like sitting in a car waiting for the storm to abait, and driving really slowly towards home, except that it's raining muddy water outside and the windshield wipers just can't keep up with the dirt and are smearing streaks across the glass and no matter how fast you turn them on, you couldn't make out many, many important things. Like the parked car you almost ran over. Like the Stop sign you passed. Actually, you may even have gone past your destination and have to detour.

Horrid feeling.

Writing is a personal experience to me and sometimes it's not possible to share. I can share the product but the process--with its wonderful, amazing highs and the incredibly depressing lows--is difficult to explain. That's why I'm always amazed at the many writers who could do it--tell how they write and examine the process of it--because man, their methods sure sounded so easy and sensible!

I have had my process explained to me (and I admit, I've dutifully mouthed them back to people who asked similar questions):

1) "Oh, you channel your stories."

What the hell does that mean? You mean, like a prophet, I have a secret mental pathway to Storyland? I just dial telepathically and secrets and tales get deposited in my brain?

2) "You're a pantser, meaning you write by the seat of your pants, meaning you don't plot."

Yes, but what is the process to that? It's important to know because sometimes being a "pantser" sucks. And when you're stuck in mud, like I was and still am, how do you explain all the various sheets of plot I've discarded? I get it that the pantser does the mental freedom thing, but saying that I can pull stories out of the air isn't quite as easy as it sounds. Really.

You see what taking a whole day off means to me? ;-) It makes me put the armor back on and resume the fight. They say "success is 10 percent inspiration and 90 percent perspiration." COMCEN dude would love that analogy because it's so specific. This perspiration stuff is MUD. Mud, I tell you. It'd better stop soon and get to that 10 percent part.

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