Uberly-Used Romance Terms

I've been having a weird puter issue for a few months now, but have managed to ignore it because it was bearable. For some reason, every time I access a few websites, e.g. Romancing The Blog, I get an error page. Or that the page doesn't exist. So far, this phenomena has happened with six or seven sites I've wanted to visit.

I have tried every way I could to see whether there is some kind of problem affecting my puter--trojans, Viruses, something--but to no avail. The only way I can access these sites is through an anonymous proxy, meaning the target sites then don't know it's my ISP that's dropping by. It's not as if I'm trying to hack into a non-public site; I'm talking about Jaci Burton's blog or Nalini Singh's website. Every time I type their URL, I get an error page.

It's a mystery to me why those sites are blocking me and what's causing it. I know it started happening around May 10, when I was in Colorado. Before that, I seemed to be able to surf anywhere I want.

Being me, as long as I could still get in through an anonymous proxy, I just continue my merry way. But the mystery of it all still bugs me. Computers--the most frustrating things in the world when they don't do what you want them to do!

If you have any idea how to solve this issue, please help!

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While traveling around the romance blogosphere, I notice some readers not familiar with the terms being tossed around by others while discussing romance books. So I thought it would I'd make a list of them here today. Most are self-explanatory.

1) HEA: Happily Ever After

This is the Must Have for all romances. If they end with a break up or a divorce, it is not considered a romance. The romance genre is often sneered at because of this one rule. HEA, according to sneerers, is just unrealistic crap, and that's why romance readers are stupid and naive. By the way, sneerers are usually bad logicians and have very odd stereotypical ideas about what romance readers/writers look like (hausfrau with no life).

But I digress ;-). Back on topic, HEA is definitely uniquely romance genre.

2) TSTL: Too stupid to live

Let's face it. Some of our heroine's decisions make them TSTL. This happens in movies too, like the heroine who decides to stay overnight in the house that starts talking to her. And hey, walk down into the dark basement in your see-through nightie, will you? Granted, I am more forgiving of those movies because most of them are written by males suffering from the delusion that half-naked damsels in distress screaming and being chased around is something sexy. In Romancelandia, however, not so much, since I expect a woman writing my kind of book would know better.

Unfortunately, there are many, many heroines who had been given TSTL status. Do you remember the one who insists on doing something dangerous on her own when she has been told to stay put? What about the one who calls the murderer to arrange a meeting behind the backs of those who protect her? And hey, let's not forget the one who keeps insisting on going after the bad guy without any weapons.

3) POV: Point of View

We are so used to reading the hero's and heroine's POV these days that we feel cheated if a book is just from one character's POV. Most romance readers, for some reason, hate first POV books. Urban fantasy, the latest hottest trend, is all about first POV. And romance readers as well as fantasy readers are scooping them up like hot buttered rolls from Ryan's. Huh. Go figure.

4) Mary Sue

When a book is obviously a wish fulfillment fantasy of the author's. The term started in fanfiction forums, in which you find the writer incorporating his/her fantasies through his/her character with a character from a favorite TV show or book.

5) H/H: Hero/Heroine

5) Duke of Slut: You know, that lord of everything, who just sexes up the entire London ton before the appearance of the heroine in his life.

6) Fake Rake: the opposite of the Duke of Slut, just all reputation, but really, he's not like dat.

7) The Big Misunderstanding: Obvious insertion when conflict is needed.

As in the scene when the hero walks in and sees the heroine drinking tea with his rival, he snarls out "Whore!" and stomps out, vowing vengeance, and promptly goes out on a date with the booby bimbo that has been hanging around the story waiting for this cue.

8) Purple Prose: very flowery and stilted language found in all kinds of books

In romance, though, there is a lot of eye-rolling when we read phrases like "purple helmeted warrior of love," "dragon of lust," "hot pocket of love," "dewy mound of heat," and "raging staff of desire." Wonder why? ;-)

Any other terms you need clarifying?

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