uber package

Sometimes, the legend grows on its own.

About twenty five years ago, Ranger Buddy was very into weight-lifting and bodybuilding. He competed in several divisions and won/came in the top three a few times.

He was a roofer back then too and Florida's construction was starting to boom, so many o fthe builders I know now were young like RB was. They all knew RB till today.

Anyway, there was a contractor named Z-- who liked to banter with RB. One time, after RB came home from competition, he asked RB whether he won.

"Nah, didn't win this time," RB had answered.

"Well, the trouble is," Z-- joked, "you don't have enough package when you wear that small bikini bottom. If you'd stuff a sweet potato in there, I'll guarantee that you'll win the next time."

"I'll try to remember that," RB had joked back.

Upon bumping into RB after the NEXT competition, Z-- again asked, "Well? Did you win this time?"

"Nope, not this time either," RB said, shaking his head.

"Shit, man. Did you stuff the sweet potato like I told you to?"

"Didn't make a difference," RB deadpanned.

"Hell, I bet you stuffed it on the wrong side of the bikini, didn't you?" Z-- snarked.

"Oh, you mean I was supposed to put the sweet potato in the front?" RB snarked back, feigning shock. "I figured it was for the backside."

After some laughter, Z-- said, "Well, that's probably why you came in second."

Flash forward: TWENTY FIVE YEARS later, I attended a get-together. The next day at work, I asked RB, "When you were competing, have you ever seen this bodybuilder who put a sweet potato in his bikini? Some man named Z-- at the party was talking about him and how the potato shifted and somehow ended in the back of his briefs and everyone was laughing because it was so funny."

RB paused then said, "Umm, yeah, I know that guy."

"Really? Who was this stupid guy?"

"That's me," RB told me with a straight face.

"What?"

"That's my story. I guess it made its way up to the wine and cheese crowd now, huh."

I should've known.

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