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I had a dream this morning. Tom Cruise was sitting in my dream living room (doesn't look like mine) and waiting for me to wake up to talk to me about some financial investment. What is up with that? I don't even like Tom Cruise, actor with the fake smile. I haven't ever seen any of his movies since his teenage years. Yes, I caught Days of Thunder on TV once, but that doesn't count since I didn't see the whole thing. Anyway, in my dream, I kept waking up wondering whether he's still out there and then I peek out and there he was!
I woke up feeling rather cheated. You would think, if I were to spend my nights dreaming of men, I'd have George Clooney in them! Except, of course, he wouldn't be on my couch waiting to give me financial advice. I would be...umm...investing it with him in my bed ;-).
Or, how about these fine men:
Click to enlarged version. Forget the pile of dead bodies in the background. Concentrate on the fine defined bodies ;-). I've always love me some men in red capes, LOL.
One of my roofers went to see SPARTA during the weekend. Now he thinks he's a warrior. Every time he reaches the peak of the roof, he screams out "I. AM. SPARTAAAaaaaaaa!"
Except we nickname him Elephant Walrus for a reason:
He is at least 300 lbs of lard and when he's roofing, he moves like a walrus trying to climb onto the beach. He also chainsmokes, so he has the requisite white things sticking out of his mouth. He wears a shirt that says "I love refrigerators." 'nuff said!
So when he does his horrifying moan of "SPARTAaaaaaa!" every so often, I now see a walrus in a red cape trying to waddle towards an army of thousands. Yikes. Gerard Butler he is not.
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Congratulations to the ARC contest winners (here and on Yahooboard) and the consolation prize winners! Mail heading your way soon.
Tuesday, March 13, 2007
A Naked Waddling Walrus
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4 comments:
Thanks so much to Jenn and the Furababies for picking me. Happy dance, happy dance!
The only show that I liked Tom Cruise in was Legend. I think he is very fake too. And really hung up on himself.
As for your walrus, tell him to quit acting burly cuz it ain't workin! Wouldn't it be great if women's self image was as delusional as most guys are.
Wow, I didn't realize Gerard Butler was in that movie. I need to go see it. :)
Men are born exhibitionists, its genetics. i mean, in ALL the animal world, the male species is the most illustrated, colorful etc. The females are decked out in garb that allows them to hide, males have bright plumage, long feathers, big bellies. LOL Well, that is an acquired trait, and often makes his other traits seem less interesting, but you get my drift. If men didnt prance around, even the 300 pound roofer, how the heck would he ever get a woman.
So its natural to climb the roof, take a long puff on the cig, and before he wheezes himself into a emphazymic attack, blurt out I AM SPArtannnnnnnn LOL.
You have to admit, i bet you laughed the first time he did it.
Me, I hate roofs. I have such a hard enough time walking on the ground, the idea of standing on a 5/12 roof, shot me and get it over.
Be careful up there!
Hi Tressa,
Hope you enjoy the book!
Leilani,
You have to see the 300! It has pecs galore! ;-)
Hi Larrylilly,
Yes, men ARE exhibitionistic and yes, they are funny to watch when they do it! Esp. if they are 300 lbs of flab and they pretend to swagger around like a mean killing machine. AND esp. when I whoop their asses daily shingling circles around them ;-). (blowing on my nails)
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