The Uber Month Has Started

People do strange things around this time of the year. Around here, anyway.

There is a couple who lives five miles away from me. Every year, from Dec. 1, they dress up as Santa and Mrs. Claus and they drive this souped up sleigh-ride complete with light bulbs and fake deer up and down the road a few times day, waving at people. They have been doing this for at least ten years. I can't imagine myself (and the significant other) growing old and one day, while I'm running around dusting (hahahahahahhaha!), he waddles up to me and say, "Honey, I have this fantastic idea...." AND I go along with this scheme.

But, anyway, this couple does this every year and it keeps all the local residents amused and jovial. So, that's good, right? How more fun can you ask for then to be followed by Santa Claus and his wife up and down Nova Rd. at 10am, sometimes with twinkling lightbulbs?

Then there is the couple whose front lawn is so covered by ornaments and statues and Christmas decorations that I swear, there is NO ROOM to walk on. I've seen the same layout for at least a dozen years. Ranger Buddy swears that it's been the same for at least ten more before my dozen. I'm not talking about strings of Christmas lights on trees and shrubs. I'm talking about ducks and geese, dwarves and plastic figurines, starbursts and lanterns, life-size camels, the eternal barn scene of baby Jesus and the Magi surrounded by the whole farmhouse and animals. I'm talking about three feet-high candy canes lining up the sidewalk and along the garage parking spots. And I haven't started on the giant floating Santa of Doom trying to squash the little cottage with his fat behind.

The hours put into THAT boggles my mind. And why. WHY would anyone do that to their yard every year? It certainly stops traffic, day or night. It's a Daytona experience, I suppose.

The last few years, I've seen an Elvis impersonator in Santa Colors walking around the parking lot of Walmart. Someone bleach my brain already. I haven't been close enough to see whether he really croon Christmas tunes.

How does one compete with such masterpieces? I have a small little Santa squishy toy and I tie him on top of my compressor in my truck. Every time I fire the machine up, it looks like Santa is riding a rocket ship. Woebegonably (is that even a word?) simple.

So, are you one of those who must string up a thousand gazillion lights around your house? Hum Christmas music non-stop every day for 30 days? Do you know how many roofs I'd repaired which someone's dear husband had nailed holes through because they had to have Santa and the reindeer fastened on top of the house? Do people up north do this on their snowy rooftops? Or is this just a crazy Southern phenomena?

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