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It's the same old jokes every year. I shouldn't be the only one to hear them over and over again:
RB: Why can't witches get pregnant?
Answer: Because wizards have hollow weenies.
Grrrroooooaannnnnnn.
RB: Who won the skeleton beauty contest?
Answer: Nobody.
Arrghhhhhhh.
RB: Why can't Dracula's wife fall asleep?
Answer: Because of his coffin.
Duhhhhhhhh.
RB: What do you get when you cross Bambi with a ghost?
Answer: Bamboo.
Sighhhhhhh.
RB: Where do draculas go swimming?
Answer: In the Dead Sea.
Gurrggggllllle.
Every year. Same jokes. Over and over.
Are y'all going to get dressed and party? I used to party like hell at the Biggest Halloween Bash in Athens, OH. Thousands and thousands of students and out-of-towners and bikers descended upon the little street annually and if you were stupid enough to leave your car parked there overnight, you should just kiss it goodbye that day because...well, drunken party animals didn't understand that jumping on vehicles
was breaking the law.
Anyway, I'd seen the strangest costumes way back then, and I'd not been so easily impressed since. There were college students walking around with Big Long Things hanging out of their bath robes, asking women to fondle them. There were the ghosts of the twelve apostles carrying a table they'd procured from some dining hall, eating the Last Supper--macabre, I know, but I thought, very clever, too. There were people dressed up in Tylenol bottles that year during the Original Contamination Scare that started all this UNOPENABLE BOTTLE TOP (stand on your head, pressed down on bottle, twist left--your hand, not your head, flip up--your body, not your hand, unscrew--the cap, not your...never mind...). Plus, there was the thrill that at ANY moment, all hell could break loose because the crowd was unruly and the party unsanctioned by the local authorities....
Ah, the good old party animal days. I should dig out some of those photos and post them on the Internet. One day, people googling for themselves will see their younger selves in hula-skirts and coconut bras, uncaring that they were walking around in 20 degrees F. weather because of the high level of fortifying substance in their bloodstream. Uh-huh. I was a photo-taking fiend even back then.
Tuesday, October 31, 2006
Happy Halloweenie!
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3 comments:
Hey chick, those jokes are horrible! I have never gone to a super huge Halloween party. I can't stand all of those people. I always meant to check out Halloween in West Hollywood but never got around to it, LOL.
Leiha,
I told you, I suffer through this joke every year. Same time, same old routine. Sigh.
As for the Halloween Party, it's something you have to do when you are in Athens, Ohio. It's unforgettable.
SQ,
It's not a parade. It's an unauthorized street party in which college students, partying out-of-towners, and bikers show up. It'd been known to be dangerous, if you were unlucky enough to be standing near too rowdy a group. But we all did it anyway, because it was the thing to do in Athens, OH. on Halloween. Get dressed up and walk up and down Court Street. Try to get into the bars. Crash all the parties. I'll have to dig up some of those photos and you'll see what I mean. Lots of New York students in those crowds, if I remember correctly ;-).
Oh, forgot...SQ,
TYLENOL CONTAMINATION SCARE happened in the 80s. Long, long ago, when you were just a twinkle in your daddy's eye, your little bottle of aspirin had caps that could be opened by human hands. Just turn and that was it. Then, the Tylenol Killer struck.
http://www.personal.psu.edu/users/w/x/wxk116/tylenol/
Read this article. Now you know why your bottles of medication are packaged to the point where old ladies with arthritis can't open them.
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