VIRTUALLY HERS came out Oct. 2009. Get it at SAMHAIN Publishing. VIRTUALLY ONE coming soon.

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Saturday, April 29, 2006

A Spy Playing In The Garden of the Gods

Mood Today:

I am not normal. And I finally have medical proof of this fact ;-). Today, here in Colorado, we went to a health fair, where they gave blood screening, hearing and eye tests, as well as all sorts of other health-related neat stuff, for free. Of course, with my health issues this year, I was gamed to try out as many tests as I could before lunch (we fasted for twelve hours prior to the blood test, so we were going to be too hungry to want to stay past noon).

Dozens of people were in line for the blood tests too, and inside the room, perhaps ten nurses were quickly putting the needles in, sucking the blood out, etc. etc. When it came to my turn, the first nurse practically dug around in my arm looking for my vein. Yes, it was a BIT UNCOMFORTABLE. Because they weren't allowed to poke twice, she called another nurse over and this one tried my other arm. Diggity-dig. Whoa. I didn't know my veins could run around from needles like that.

Anyway, this prompted my companion to remark that I had no veins, since the nurse had no trouble drawing blood from him. We then went to the eye, ears, and lungs section. Well, by the end of it, my list shows that not only do I not have veins, I also don't have much eyesight or air intake in my lungs. Then we went off to check on my pulse. Yes, low pulse rate is a good indicator of good health, but looking at my chart, my companion said it was indicating that since I had no air, no blood, and no veins, he could argue the case that I'm pulse-less and probably NOT ALIVE. You notice he didn't say I was dead ;-). Just not alive. Hmm. I am uberspy, after all, and we never are what we seem. Heh.

And with my further explanation to the attending dermatologist about those purple marks/bruising on my neck from the skin allergy I suffered a month ago, my companion has come to the conclusion that I've turned into a vampire. Or at least, something NOT ALIVE. I tried very hard to disguise that minor limp and my dragging my right foot from the back injury so he wouldn't start calling me Eye-Gor ;-). In fact, if the doctor had started to say, "You know, as a physician advising you, you really should let someone take a look at that hump on your back...", I was all ready to look wild and startled and answer, "Hump? What hump...?" LOL. It was strange how I was just talking about Eye-Gor in Young Frankenstein, and suddenly, all these tests were making me sound like I am resembling my remark. ;-) Now that I think of it...a perfect uberspy disguise....

All in all, an interesting experience, although not quite my usual fun in CO! I do love driving up in the mountains, though. There's something that calls to me when I watch the beautiful snow-capped mountains appearing and disappearing behind the closer hills and miles and miles of green in between the blue. It's funny how I love the high altitude and yet live in flat sea-level Florida.

If you ever get a chance to come out here and heading to Pike's Peak, don't forget to stop off at the Garden of the Gods. It is a magnificent park whose aching beauty leaves me breathless every time. Heck, I think it even makes me temporarily alive again ;-).

Tomorrow, I'm signing about fifty books for the Colorado Romance Writers conference, so that's the business part of the trip. But and relaxation! Here's hoping your weekend is fun too.

P/S. I read that Vishwanathan's book was recalled off the shelves a few days ago. No news on whether there will be future reissues, with "corrections."

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SQ said...

Sheesh. Have you discovered a new level of zen or something? I mean, they say slow pulse, breathing, clear your mind blah blah blah. But, girl, you taking it too far! BREATHE JENN!

My buddy found this weird Chinese med book that supposedly cures all. I'm forwarding you info.

Feel better & hope you had fun in Colorado.

smp said...

I hope you checked out the SkySox (great baseball), The Air Force Academy (The trail rides from the riding stables are awesome)and Seven Falls (absolutely beautiful!) and the Black Angus Steak House (where they serve coffee and tea in the most unusual way!!!) I was stationed inside a mountain and stayed outside whenever possible when I wasn't working. It's a beautiful state. I also was stationed in south Florida before Hurricane Andrew. Another gorgeous place! My husband liked to catch shrimp on the weekends. YUMMMM!

Denise said...

We haven't been able to spend much time in Colorado, but we did pass through the area over 3 years ago on our way to Nevada.

About that physical thing. I really hate to hear about medical people that can't draw blood, especially when I hear that they actually tried to dig around. It irks the crap out of me. It is better to do a new stick than to dig in the arm, no matter what the damn policy is. Believe it or not, drawing blood is a talent and if the person doesn't have it, then they need to change the direction of their career.

Hey, no oxygen in your lungs? And you're a roofer? You aren't doing something right, woman! You need to start coughing and deep breathing exercises--immediately.

I can't say anything about the eye sight because mine sucks and the older I get the worse it gets. I just don't know if I can do Lasik surgery. Heck, I had weight loss surgery but Lasik scares the crap out of me.

So, what was the official diagnosis when everything was done--other than the fact that you aren't alive?

I wanted to thank you for the Brendan Fraser and Adrian Paul pics. I had a major computer crash and my computer fixer dude told me to bury it, there won't be any life after death for the poor thing.

I switched to my husband's computer and then we left for Kentucky for his work. I was without the internet for three weeks! Three, very long, very boring, much nail biting, and angst three weeks. Trust me, internet withdrawal is an ugly thing.

But, hey, I'm back!

Gennita Low said...

SQ, sure, send info about Chinese medicine. And I AM breathing!

SMP, yeah, I can't decide between Florida and CO too.

Denise, Welcome back! And I'm proud of you for surviving without Internet! ;-)


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