Spies and Writers Get Into The Spirit

So I've been Christmas shopping and wrapping presents in between writing and roofing. I hate wrapping presents because I'm dismal at it, so every year, it's a struggle to get out the shiny wrappers and do my duty to make the gift presentable.

One of my favorite things in the world is to try to wrap a gift without a box...for example, roll a teeshirt into a mushy thick noodle or buy the oddest shaped toy on the shelf, and then try to wrap it. It's an exercise in...creative freedom ;-). Actually, it stems from childhood when I used to wrap presents for my kiddie siblings and I had no money to buy gift boxes...those oddly-shaped, horribly wrapped things brought the best squeals of joy from my baby brother and sisters and I guess, I'm just trying to...*sob...recreate that childhood enthusiasm from my friends. Heh.

It's easier these days, isn't it, what with online services giving away free packaging? Just order it and they'll take care of everything, including the gift card. I mean, who would refuse an Amazon.com gift card? Perfect for last minute people like me! And it's the easiest way for an uber-spy to shop too--no tell-tale overseas packaging, not a hint of anything that might betray your location. Besides, have you check how expensive mailing these items yourself is these days? Holy smokes. It cost more than the gift itself.

I was standing in line at the post office and this man waited in front of me for a LONG time, holding just two envelopes. The rest of us were pulling and tugging three or four packages each. I was thinking, poor dude, why didn't he just put the stamps on the letters and just drop them into the slot? When it was his turn, he went to the salesgirl (is that what you call postoffice stamp sellers? ;P) and asked why this one envelope was returned to his address. I thought, oh, so that was why he was in line. The girl checked and then explained to him that it was not bearing the correct amount of stamps. He needed 12cents more.

This man stood there arguing for 15 minutes that since he sent off 100 other envelopes of the same size and only one returned, then the other 99 must have been okay and so this one shouldn't matter. I understood the principal of his argument but for God's sake, there are 12 other people standing here carrying PACKAGES and we are ALL NOT ENTERTAINED. We all muttered that we could all donate a penny each and give him his twelve cents for the stamp.

And oh, the other envelope? He was going to post that too...and the salesgirl told him he needed 12 more cents for that also. ;-P Which just proves why uber-spies shouldn't worry about postage and why uber-scrooges should buy from online because MAILING IS FREE.

So I'm home now and drinking wine after that ordeal, eyeing the rest of the stuff I still have to wrap. The more I drink, the more funky the ending result will look. Ah well. I just wish I'd be there to hear the groans from my loved ones as they pull out their presents from the boxes. "Oh look, another weirdo thing from Aunt Gennita, mom. When is she ever going to learn how to wrap presents?" Kids. They don't know how to squeal with joy any more.

Cheers. Another bottle, please.

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