Do Spies Miss Their Beds?

Boy, it's good to be home in my own bed, among my mess, in my space again. I love traveling but I wish I can bring my own bed with me ;-). Now then everything would be perfect--except for DELTA.

I live in a small city that has an "international" airport. It doesn't go anywhere internationally, really, and it only has one big airline. DELTA, which stands for: Don't Ever Leave The Airport. I'm constantly stuck in the Atlanta hub wherever I go because that's where all the connecting flights are. There are no direct flights anywhere from my city to civilization, so all my trips take double the time (along with the layover in Atlanta).

However, the airport is only 15 minutes away from my home; there is no long lines at all, so it all evens out if you are like me and hate the idea of waking up three hours earlier to drive the extra two hours to Orlando and then wait the extra 45 minutes at the security line there. And don't forget parking...parking at Orlando Airport is an unforgettable experience. With this local "international" airport, I just roll out of bed into the car, and into the plane within an hour. Can't beat that.

So, I am stuck with DELTA. It's a love-hate relationship ;-). I started traveling a lot since becoming a serious writer, going to one, then, two conferences, and now that I'm pubbed, add four or five signings at various locales. Every trip through Delta is an adventure, so much so that my girlfriends have sworn never to travel with me. They think I'm jinxed. I have had more airport shenanigans than anyone else.

I'm not talking about security, which is just an ordinary hassle. No, it's always something weird, like this time, when some freak storms took down the Delta computer system and caused major delays through the east coast. Every plane was two to four hours late taking off and arriving, so naturally, that affected many airports, including mine. We were assured that, since this is so, we would be able to catch our connecting flights because they too would be two to four hours late.

Made sense...until it came to my flight, of course. I arrived at Atlanta to find MINE was the ONLY flight that left on time, and so I'm without a connecting flight to DC. Yup. Major weather problems, right? Computer system down, right? Delay, delay, delay, right? But oh no, my flight didn't have these problems. It touched down and flew away while all the flights were grounded. How could this be? No one at Delta seemed to be able to supply me the answer. I mean, was the flight full? Didn't they know passengers were coming in late??! Obviously, my flight crew wanted to show the powers-that-be that they would be the bestest, fastest, most efficient and on time crew, even with an empty plane.

So I spent half a night at the wonderful Delta hub going standby. If you have done this before, it's all about running from concourse to concourse and looking for gates, and leaving your name, and then sitting there like an idiot while everyone boards and you're left there with your luggage like some leper ;-). So I made it as the LAST person called for standby, right? I was soooo happy! I got my bags and went into the plane. I whipped out my cell phone to call my sis so I could tell her the info and time to pick me, etc., as I headed for SEAT 31D, the number that would be branded on my mind forever. Just as I reached my seat, the attendant stopped me. The passenger whose seat that belonged to...he showed up. ARGHHhhhhh! They wanted me off the plane! Would that have happened to anyone but me? Of course not.

So anyway, I did make it safely (always) to my destination. I enjoyed my trip. And going home was quite uneventful because God probably thought I had gone through enough. I'm home but there's always the next big adventure with DELTA coming up! Lots of more amusing anecdotes to share with you....

And you haven't even heard the story about the missing underwear yet...heh.

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