I ventured into TV Spoiler Land these past two weeks because I wanted to keep up with my favorite TV shows while I was playing author at conventions and in NYC. I've found a new specy and they scare me.
Spoiler Hos.
Specifically, Amazing Race Spoiler Hos.
If our great nation would just recruit these people into our spy agencies, there would be no clue left uninvestigated, no stone left unturned, no suspicious activities left uninvestigated. And some of the analyses of said items are very, very meticulous and scarily thorough.
And all over what? The final episode of The Amazing Race that's coming on in less than 24 hours. Who is the winner of the final three.
I went there out of curiosity and now I can't look away. This is a place called Survivor Sucks, or something like that, and there is a board that is just for spoilers for TAR. There are, at last count tonight, 192 pages, at least the last 35 that I know of, are devoted to trying to figure out:
1) What the last three couples were doing
2) Where the final leg was
3) Who the winner was
I'm not talking about someone posting a "Hey, got a friend who slept with the tv producer's sister and she told me so-and-so won." There were a few posts like that but the main body is serious business. These spoiler-hos would do Jack Bauer proud!
These people have people/witnesses who had taken photos of the racing couples at various locations, doing the race stuff, running at airports, etc., and they analyze these photos as if they were in a crime lab. They look at the POSITIONS of the sun and shadow, to see which couple might be first; they google ALL the airport times to find and compare schedules and THEN they mark that with couple arrivals at the airport to see WHICH flight they took out of that terminal; they zoom in on clothes to see whether they are still wet to ascertain how long it took the couple to drive from the task to the airport. I sat there, simply amazed, clicking on page after page of this.
Somehow, this is a sign from God to me to be more meticulous about my writing. I'm sure of it ;-). I mean, there are people out there who will track every single tidbit I dole out and make a big picture, and Lord help me if I don't get the dots numbered right. And I'm going to be in soooooo much trouble with the Spoiler Hos whose specialty is timeline.
On this site, this special group takes the time printed on the photos, uses it in reference to the few dozen time plane arrivals/departures on that particular day on Travelocity, Obitz, Cheaptickets--you name it, the group googled it--then it maps out possible connection flights that could explain why one racing couple seems to be so far behind than the other, which leads to a final long drawn out investigation of how one couple could have possibly left a crucial clue somewhere because look, look, look at that picture with that time frame...do you see that they are carrying bags instead of their bagpacks...and so that means....
Whoa.
I feel very small and stupid. My mind just doesn't work that way. I look at the pictures and I see sunlight and shadow. Stupid me. Jack Bauer and Spoiler Hos can tell the time of day the picture was taken! It is revealing the secret of the fastest couple...and all I see is some figure jumping into a big lake in bright sunlight.
I see people running in the airport. Sure it's one of the couples--I can recognize that part of the picture. Stupid me. Jack Bauer and Spoiler Hos would pull out every airport picture in their files and could tell that was taken in either Puerto Rico or Jamaica. And don't you know they are either one hour ahead or behind? Don't you know that's an important clue???! And you see, this girl snapped the photo while she was waiting for the 12 o'clock flight, which meant that all those other flights before them weren't the right flight...which meant that this couple is couple #3.
I didn't see that. I'm not a good uber-spy/spoiler ho. Wahhhhhh. But there are people out there who take care of these things and there are people like me who are crazy enough to click on page after page admiring their tenacity. Unfortunately, they aren't saving the world...they are just desperately trying to find out who the winners of The Amazing Race are, which, to me, is amazing to watch.
I had better get back to writing...there are spoiler hos out there piecing my little schemes faster than I can say "I know who won The Amazing Race!" And I didn't spend hours analyzing the information. Nyah, nyah.
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Monday, May 09, 2005
Spoiler Hos Make Uber-Spies
Posted by Gennita at 10:48 PM
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