The Most Boring Sexual Experience Ever

Here's the "winner" of Literary Review's Bad Sex Award. Those sex scenes--so easy to write, right?

Ed King by David Guterson:
"In the shower, Ed stood with his hands at the back of his head, like someone just arrested, while she abused him with a bar of soap. After a while he shut his eyes, and Diane, wielding her fingernails now and staring at his face, helped him out with two practiced hands, one squeezing the family jewels, the other vigorous with the soap-and-warm-water treatment. It didn't take long for the beautiful and perfect Ed King to ejaculate for the fifth time in twelve hours, while looking like Roman public-bath statuary. Then they rinsed, dried, dressed, and went to an expensive restaurant for lunch."

That's it? This sex god is supposed to be so darn sexay the woman did him FIVE times. I'd rather sleep, I think. Or write some GLow sex scenes :).

You can read some of the other entries HERE.

Scary stuff.

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