Spies and Secret Agent Uncle Sam

Ah, I found the funniest vege-spy yet! Here is a vege disguised as a killer whale--it is titled Okra The Killer Whale. Bwah!

This coming week, I will be in disguise as Jenn the Tax Matter Partner, meaning it's that time of the year when I pretend that I know everything there is to know about Advanced Business Taxes 505. You think spying, roofing, and writing is just all fun and games?! Wait till you have to juggle tax Intel and decode Secret Agent Uncle Sam's Sekret Dokuments.

Important questions:

Being self employed in both my jobs, can I call myself a double agent in the Job Description box? ;-)

Can I deduct internet "browsing" time?

Can I put hair loss and brain blockage in the LOSS column?

Is Muse a Silent Partner? If so, what's the percentage of the partnership? Should I send him a 1099 and report him to Secret Agent Uncle Sam?

Is Book Worm and Mahjong tax-deductible?

How many cents per brain cell mileage? And is that with MACRS delineation? Fifteen year or seven year (assuming my brain is still intact in fifteen years)?

You see? So many things to sort out. The most difficult task is to decipher Ranger Buddy's crunched up, coffee-stained store receipts. I have to hold that up against a special Sekret Writing lightbulb to read the codes and numbers he leave me.

Talking about Ranger Buddy, he's getting forgetful, so I bought him some Memory Foam. It was for a twin-sized bed and he cut out some to put in his shoes because his feet were hurting him too. He also said there were enough left to line his coffin so he'd be comfy. I told him he didn't need to remember anything when he's lying in there. You see how weird the conversation can get when you're hanging 30 feet in the air shooting nails.

That reminds me. Those thirty new crapenters? Gone. Ran away. Couldn't take the pain. I didn't even get a chance to yell at them to initiate them into my world yet. Disappointment weighs bitterly in my chest.

Writing my new proposal is inserted in between one of these tasks somewhere. It's one of the few things I'm horrible at. And of course, I'm late already. My dilemma lies in the fact that I don't have a story to tell till I tell it. Why can't the publishers understand that? ;-)

Meanwhile, can I ADD him to my EXPENSE acct?

I'll fill his form front and back, I promise. Read every little detail. Be meticulously careful. Check and double check to make sure everything is balanced and correct. With my tongue.

Bear with me while I learn. The first button likes the POST. The second button likes the BLOG site. Please help me by "liking" me. Thanks!