ANNOUNCEMENTS

VIRTUALLY HERS came out Oct. 2009. Get it at SAMHAIN Publishing. VIRTUALLY ONE coming soon.
VIRTUALLY HERS OUT IN PRINT AUG 2010.

I've also made available at Amazon BIG BAD WOLF a COS Commando book, an earlier manuscript about Killian Nicholas Langley. You can sample the first five chapters right here. EBOOK now available for KINDLE, NOOK, and at SMASHWORDS for $4.99.

I appreciate all your emails. If you'd like to buy Virtually His NEW, please contact me. Thank you.



CLICK:

Big Bad Wolf Author's Note/CH. 1

Big Bad Wolf CH. 2

Big Bad Wolf Ch. 3

(more chapters on left side bar below)



To read excerpts of VIRTUALLY HERS, scroll down & click on the links on the right.



EMAIL ME AT JENN AT GENNITA-LOW DOT COM


VIRTUALLY HERS UPDATE

VIRTUALLY HERS OUT IN PRINT AUG 2010! Discounted at Amazon!

To read & comment on the poll (left column), click HERE. Thank you for all the wonderful posts there!

UPDATE: I SOLD THE SERIES TO SAMHAIN!

Here's your UBER VIRTUALLY HERS YAK THREAD!


GLow Twitter

Follow The Glow

Some readers having browser problems with the Google Followers Widget still. For now, you can still follow me through your Blogger Dashboard.

Wednesday, November 29, 2006

Into Uber Gear

Yes, life is back to normal for the roofer-author. Today, I cussed out loud without fear of corrupting children's ears. Today, I insulted grown men without thought of yuppie time-out-to-discuss sensitivities. Today, I have dirt under my fingernails without thinking of washing my hands ten times a day so I can play with and not infect the baby. I am freeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!

I keep forgetting that it's so hard to be on my best behavior all the time. At least, when I'm at a convention with friends, I can let my hair down after workshops and signings and go and sit at a bar to chill. It's not so easy to do that with one teen, three pre-teens, and several other tiny little chillun. I swear, I'm still dreaming Final Fantasy characters. For those not in the know, that's a game, but you would think it's the meaning of all life to complete the quest of the beautiful Yuna and her five Guardians against the evil Machina.

Roll-playing is interesting because I'm writing about virtual reality, but twenty-three hours of that in a twenty-four hour day is a bit much, I think. Tell that to the bunch of pre-teens intensely pushing those magic buttons. The television becomes a time-dimensional warp and it's a bit like Las Vegas during the old days when you could hear the constant ding-ding-ding of the machines; the game background music while the characters fight the monsters eat your mind and your brain slowly until you wake up dreaming about that tune.

Interesting game, but the silence of my house was never more missed! Lovely Yuna must find a way to save her people and be with her true love (yes, there are even romantic elements to snare unsuspecting romance readers into watching/reading the plot and dialogue!) without Gennita Low.

So back to hell (work) and back to Hell (writing). I'm literal, if nothing else ;-P. MIRA sent me ONE (ONE!) cover flat of Virtually His to admire. I love it. It's a beautiful cover but my old publisher used to send me one THOUSAND. I hope they will send me just a few more (okay, a few HUNDRED would be nice) because my publicist needs them to send out to reader groups and booksellers. ONE! Sigh.



No, that's not ON the book cover ;-). But I felt like some eye candy.

I also received an email that my copy edits was sent out last week. I haven't seen any big envelope on my doorstep and my emails to my editors received replies that they were vacationing till early Dec. Help! Who do I talk to about missing copy edits? I hope I get the package tomorrow.

Copy edits is the third stage of rereading a manuscript. It's been marked by both editor and copy editor, and now it's tossed back to me for approval. I get to see what's changed or questioned and if the writer gets a great copy editor, then all illogical stuff that was missed before would be caught at this stage. After I send it back, it'll be finalized into a format called the galley. It looks exactly like a photo copy of each page of the printed book. This final pass is the last chance to correct spelling and errors, but the author is only allowed about fifty changes (a comma is one change). Anything beyond that costs the author $$$. So that's why the copy-edit stage is very, very important.

So from fantasy, I bring you the business part ;-). How's that for a balanced blog, huh?

I don't have time to scan the beautiful calendar my sister gave me. Its front says MEN ARE LIKE...Weather reports...You really shouldn't believe a word they say. Hmmm. Okay. Ummm. Not that I'm listening when each month has such preeeeeeetty faces, heh heh heh.



Bear with me while I learn. The first button likes the POST. The second button likes the BLOG site. Please help me by "liking" me. Thanks!
NO NEED TO CLICK TILL I TELL YA: RESERVED FOR NOT SAFE FOR WORK STUFF

Tuesday, November 28, 2006

She's Back!

You think the turkey got me, didn't you? ;-) Or perhaps the airport twilight zone has finally trapped me forever in the Other Dimension where missing socks disappear to....

Fear not.

Auntie Jennjenn is back, safe and sound from D.C., after taking lots and lots and lots of pictures with the world's cutest nieces:



There were all these kids--nieces and nephews--and I looked at my brother and sisters and I kept thinking, "Oh. My. God. They are their moms and dads." :-) It totally boggles my mind that my siblings are in charge of the future generation, LOL.

Anyway, 50 hours of Final Fantasy and Blitz Ball, 100 hours of sibling chitchat, 200 hours of non-stop eating later, I threw in the towel and packed my bags. Got to go back to the uncivilized world, where men act like children and the diaper jokes are made among the elderly....

The planes were scary little puddle jumpers but they were the only one offered that were direct flights, so I had to take them. Everything went so smoothly, the plane arrived back in Florida 20 minutes ahead of schedule! I'm still in shock. Wow. Too bad there is only ONE flight from TED from my airport!

It could have been that the book I had with me was absolutely unput-downable. Girls, if you haven't started on the Dante Valentine series by Lilith Saintcrow, and you like the early Anita Blake by Laurel K. Hamilton, give Working With The Devil, the first book a try. I love, love, LURV the second book, Dead Man Rising. Talk about a kick-ass heroine! I was glued to this book and totally ignored the captain's jabbering over the microphone. Very rude, I know.

Anyway, the fabric of reality returned this morning. Went to work. RB had hurt his back while I was gone. Men who'd roofed for dozens of years had suddenly forgotten how to set paper and dry in a roof. Supervisor still living in a dream world. Chaos. Sigh.

And how was your Thanksgiving weekend?



Bear with me while I learn. The first button likes the POST. The second button likes the BLOG site. Please help me by "liking" me. Thanks!
NO NEED TO CLICK TILL I TELL YA: RESERVED FOR NOT SAFE FOR WORK STUFF

Wednesday, November 22, 2006

In Preparation Of Turkeyness

1) Don't forget our BOYS overseas during your Thanksgiving around-the-table prayer, whatever denomination.

2) Read a Good Turkey Book

3) Pet a turkey. Aw, come on. ;-)



Bear with me while I learn. The first button likes the POST. The second button likes the BLOG site. Please help me by "liking" me. Thanks!
NO NEED TO CLICK TILL I TELL YA: RESERVED FOR NOT SAFE FOR WORK STUFF

Tuesday, November 21, 2006

A Thanks Giving

For me, Thanksgiving is about sharing and giving, not only with family (which, for years, I didn't have any here in the States), but also with friends and strangers alike. It's a pseudo-Christmas ;-).

I want to share this email with you:

*******************
November 19, 2006
Dear Ms. Low:

I am Charlette Kremer in Lewiston, Idaho and I am writing to ask you to participate in a First Book online auction by donating an autographed book. First Book is an international non-profit organization with a single mission: to give children in low-income families the opportunity to read and own their first new books.

One in every five of the children in our area lives in poverty. In the state of Idaho, one in every six children goes to bed hungry. Nationally, 61% of children living in low-income households have no age-appropriate books at home. These are the children that First Book was designed to reach.

Our grants have benefited libraries, homeless and crisis shelters, schools and Head Start programs throughout North Central Idaho and a portion of Eastern Washington. In just one year we have distributed almost 13,000 books to more than 1,300 children.

The First Book-LCSC advisory board, of which I am a member, is soliciting autographed books to be auctioned online. We hope you will sign one or more of your books and donate them today. One-hundred percent of the funds raised will be used to purchase books for children and your donation is tax deductible.

Donations may be sent to:
First Book-LCSC
Lewis Clark Service Corps
Lewis-Clark State College
500 8th Avenue
Lewiston,
ID 83501

I hope that one day I will have the opportunity to personally thank you for helping give the gift of reading to needy children.I look forward to hearing from you soon.

Sincerely,
Charlette KremerCoordinator

***************

If you're looking for a good cause, please consider donating to this one. To me, children need to read because it encourages the imagination to dream big and to create more than what one sees. I'd never be where I am today without books. I was very fortunate to have understanding parents who could afford my thirst for books and I thank them and the teachers who had encouraged my reading.

Happy Thanksgiving to all! Drive safely, if you're going on a trip!

Bear with me while I learn. The first button likes the POST. The second button likes the BLOG site. Please help me by "liking" me. Thanks!
NO NEED TO CLICK TILL I TELL YA: RESERVED FOR NOT SAFE FOR WORK STUFF

Monday, November 20, 2006

Review of Uber-Morbid Romance Story

I'll be flying to DC to see my sister and my new niece for the Thanksgiving weekend. Also, my mom is flying all the way from Malaysia! I haven't seen her for a few years. My other siblings living the US are also arriving, so it'll actually be quite the Low reunion ;-). It's a rare phenomena. The earth axis might shift!

I'm not looking forward to embarking a plane, what with the new rules about carry-on thingies. They call it the Rule of Three. Something like, three ounces, three bottles, three something. Clear plastic bag so they can see it. So stupid. Yeah, yeah, I get it about the security and all that. But I can still say, SO STUPID?

Fortunately, I won't flying on the airline-that-hates-Gennita, DELTA, because our airport has finally gotten another airline to provide several flights to DC, and they are DIRECT! Hooyah. No layover at Atlanta this time at least. And yes, this time, I'll bring more than one ID! Heh.

What are your plans for Thanksgiving? Going to relatives/friends or having them over?

*************
Last night, I watched Cold Case, a TV show that I enjoy because it's a combination of unsolved murders and time travel. In this series, the detectives (team) open up boxes of unsolved files (cold cases) and then the viewer is given a vignette of the time period.

For example, if it's about a murder in the 70s, you get to hear some cool 70s music while the characters, in horrid bell-bottoms and funny flicked-up Farrah hair walked around and talked the 70s lingo. Cut to present day and the detectives would go about interviewing the surviving witnesses or relatives to the case and these characters are first seen in their youth and then they morph into their older selves, most of the time played by other actors. So if the witness was a boy from the 70s, let's say, and he looked like Leif Garrett in his prime, he might, in 2006, 30 years later, be a balding guy with a beer belly ;-).

Anyway, where was I? Oh yeah, I like this show even though it's pretty unbelievable how these cases get solved (come on, most people can't remember details and conversations that clearly after 30 years) but the storylines are compelling and like I said, its "time-traveling" aspect is entertaining. Some episodes are more riveting than others, like the one with the autistic boy who witnessed his parents' murder.

This week's, however, managed to both make me go "ARGGHHH!", "GAH!", and "Ooooh, neat twist!" and I still can't decide whether I like it or not. The cold case is about a woman who was gunned down in the 80s (yay, got to hear some kewl funky tunes). It started with the suicide of a small time crook in present day and the cold case team was brought in because for some reason, he was watching a old dating tape of the victim at his death. At first, they figured that he was just the type to scam a lonely woman through a dating service, but the question was, why was he watching her tape at the time of his death?

Anyway, not going into too much of the story, this dead woman was presented as a plain Jane, bespectacled, overweight, flower-print wearing, desperate woman who READ ROMANCE NOVELS NON-STOP. Her name was MARTHA. She's interested in MORTUARY STUDIES. Her roommate from that time explained that her head was "filled with that crap" and that she was constantly looking for her soul mate or whatever.

The point being made was that this woman's mindset was so lonely and so romantic that when she finally went to make a tape for a dating service, and when a good looking guy that the detectives called Rico Suave (remember him?! The scammer did sort of look like him) showed interest, she fell, hook and line and sinker, for him, after the initial stage of disbelief. That was my Argggh! stage. Because all romance readers can't differentiate reality from fantasy, you see. And oh, yeah, we're all plain, dumpy, lonely, and desperate females.

Okay, for the sake of watching this story unfold, I accept this premise, that this woman fell in love with Rico Suave. Lots of women have been scammed by charmers. BUT, wait, wait, there's more. Here comes the GAH moment. Upon finding Rico had, in the past, tricked women of similar kind out of their money and possessions, what did our lonely gal do? Did she call him names? Did she let him walk out of her life after a confrontation?

No, no, no, no, no. She was a romance reader, and still in love with her idea of what love was. So she offered to be Bonnie to his Clyde (I didn't use this term), and that she would HELP him with his crime spree. She understood about loneliness and lonely women and what they wanted, she said, and she could HELP him get more than just credit cards and TVs. If he would let her stay with him, she would HELP him get rid of these women after he'd convinced them to hand over their life savings. You see, plain, lonely and dumpy women had secret cash stashes. She knew this because she led that life, you see. Gah! Gah! Gah!

Anyway, the romance-reading influence is carried throughout the whole hour with the woman now assuming NAMES from the novels she enjoyed (this was nicely noticed by the chubby detective who took it upon himself to read the leftover stash of romance books she'd left behind). And in the end, after presumably a year of killing off poor, besotted, lonely women, our girl couldn't live with herself any more because she realized this wasn't romantic or nice.

This leads to the part of the story where she was murdered. And the case was unresolved till now, with the playing of her tape at the suicide.

Presumably, Rico Suave offed our girl when he had no further use for her any more, right? Case close, right?

No, no, wait, there's more. Here's the "Oooh, neat twist!" part. The detectives found a shed that Rico Suave had rented and in it was sort of an altar of love, with memories and keepsakes of our girl Martha. There were also five other tapes in that storage, out of which four of the women died from being run over (different states, natch). I'll let you decide who the real killer was ;-).

But the point here is that Rico did commit suicide out of some kind of loneliness himself, and that he remembered the love of a woman who had given him what he deemed was "true love" (his version, 'kay?) and that he must have loved her in his own way and missed her, from all the pictures of her he'd kept in that shed and him killing himself while looking at her dating tape. Awwww...how romantic. Arrghh! Gah! Neat twist.

I'll give points to the writers for putting in the small scenes showing the detective sitting at his desk or walking around reading the romance novels. The covers did look like 80s covers ;-). And he didn't make any sneering remarks at all, thank goodness. Even at the end, where they usually show the cold case box being put back on the shelves (now marked SOLVED), he was still absorbed in the romance book. Makes me like this particular detective a little more, although he's always been shown as insensitive to the point of rude.

The last scenes also always show the dead person appearing like a vision, sort of a closure, watching the living. So you get a shot of Martha in a wedding dress (something she wanted) and her sitting in the park reading a romance book.

Anyway, while watching the episode, I couldn't decide whether I was mad at the portrayal, or amused by the opinions of the different characters (from roommate to detectives) of a romance reader, or admired the twisty ending that there was some kind of love there between Rico Suave and his plain woman. The portrayal was obviously a cliche; the spouted cliches from the characters themselves rang true enough, though, that I think the writers knew they were going to make a few romance-lovers mad at them; and so they gave us the ending, a bitter-sweet sort of anti-romance subtheme that left me thinking.

In the end, isn't that what a story is supposed to do? You might hate the premise but it's the emotions that are brought out in the reader/viewer and the ending that matter?
*************
(I do want to add that my initial indignant splutter went something like:
MARTHA?
OVERWEIGHT?
MORTUARY STUDIES?
SHY AND AWKWARD?
DESPERATE ROMANCE READER?
"BIG GIRL IN FLOWER PRINT DRESS?"

Hit my head with a bigger anvil, will ya?)

Bear with me while I learn. The first button likes the POST. The second button likes the BLOG site. Please help me by "liking" me. Thanks!
NO NEED TO CLICK TILL I TELL YA: RESERVED FOR NOT SAFE FOR WORK STUFF

Saturday, November 18, 2006

I Hate Coitus Interruptus!

Coitus Interruptus happens when the hero and heroine are finally together and they're going to have a big moment and their Creator decides to put off the sex because it's too early in the book and there has to be another hundred pages of romantic pain.

Sometimes it's reasonable. Sometimes it's just plain stupid.

It seems that this device also happens on TVland. In Grey's Anatomy's last episode, our favorite angsty passive-aggressive couple, Mere and Der, finally, finally, after one whole season of pain (last year) of separation, got together to start all anew. They're in love. They want to be together.

But. Shucks, this is just the beginning of the season! We can't have them having hawt sex! So our couple, in the middle of rubbing each other silly in the bathtub of bubbles, decided to put off sex.

Rrrrrrrighhht. ;-) The scene is plenty hot, though. Here you go (Click on ARROW to stay on this site):



If I have McDreamy in my bathtub, I won't be talking much. Just saying. ;-P

The thing is, done correctly, coitus interruptus can be sensual and also brings the story forward, moving the hero and heroine beyond the sexual realm toward the happy ending where two individuals are committed physically and mentally to be together.

However, there are many stories out there which just insert author-induced coitus interruptus just for the sake of "keeping the sexual tension" going. It DOESN'T work for me. It only makes me yell a lot. I quote someone's post about Mere and Der from a fan forum again: "Carpe Mere's Diem already, Derek!" Heehee. I'm glad I'm not the only one who hates being manipulated.

I'd have accepted the putting off sex part if both the characters had been DRESSED and not in the middle of a bubble-tub where all kinds of body parts are rubbing against each other. "Let's take it slow." Nuh-uh. Not gonna buy it. You feel me?

Coitus Interruptus can be done with humor. Check this out:




Now that one worked for me! I can so see me as the sister. Have a good weekend!

Bear with me while I learn. The first button likes the POST. The second button likes the BLOG site. Please help me by "liking" me. Thanks!
NO NEED TO CLICK TILL I TELL YA: RESERVED FOR NOT SAFE FOR WORK STUFF

Thursday, November 16, 2006

What Turns You On II

Who is People Mag's Sexiest Man Alive, you ask?

It's the man with The Inviting Eyes. If there were a pair of eyes who could unclothe a woman, they are in George Clooney's head. Yes, I say so. Pfffft.

And he's 44 and unmarried, so that up the sexy factor for me, as far as I'm concerned ;-).

Very, very close second in my book, and because of that last episode in LOST:



Ah man. Okay, he's got THE eyes too.

The bad-boyness factor in both are just too yummy. I guess no (2) is the IT factor.

2) IT FACTOR

The hero must have IT but what is it? The sly charm? The inscrutable detachment? The total ability to say fuck me with his eyes while he insults the heroine? ;-) What? And why would that quality get the reader to love him?



Bear with me while I learn. The first button likes the POST. The second button likes the BLOG site. Please help me by "liking" me. Thanks!
NO NEED TO CLICK TILL I TELL YA: RESERVED FOR NOT SAFE FOR WORK STUFF

Wednesday, November 15, 2006

What Turns You On?

1) Sexy Set Up

Dancing With The Stars Mario Lopez, sweet young HOTTIE VS Emmett Smith, sexy matured MAN. I can't decide. It's not about the dancing. Obviously, Mario has the quicker and better steps. But Emmett has the appeal and the SeXay going. I'm enjoying them both a lot.

BUT. I'm shallow. ***guilty nod*** I enjoyed Mario's nekkid butt in the shower on Nip/Tuck (TV Show) a leeeeetle biiit more. Goodness. Izzat what they're showing on HBO these days? ;-P Holy Kamoly, Freak out!




A little bit short but who's looking at his height? Heehee.

It made me think of my shower scene in SWTA when Lily opened her eyes and saw Reed's back and butt. Now I know how she felt, LOL.

They always say that men are the visual creatures, but I totally disagree. I mean that shower scene on Nip/Tuck certainly wasn't aimed at the male audience, was it?

Are women readers/viewers more visceral? You betcha. We like the emotional content of our hot scenes. We don't like the usual bad porn-fic of Slot A fitting Slot B. There are some sex scenes written that way that bore the heck out of me (skip, skim, skip), pages of pages of strangely detached lovemaking. Am I making sense? I've read some erotica that doesn't read very erotic to me at all because there's just so much sex and sexual positions going on. Maybe my brain isn't wired that way? Or maybe because I need more visceral connection between the h/h before the body parts connecting?

It's a question I struggle with (okay, not struggle, but I deal with it a lot) whenever I'm writing a sensual/sexual scene, or when I watch one on the screen. Why do I whoop at a scene with two men showering, for instance? ;-) And if it's two women showering in that scene, how would that affect the Significant Other? Well, for one thing, he'd stop rolling his eyes. Heh.

But really, is it so wrong to look at Mario's nekkid butt a few more times? LOL.

I'll tell you (2) tomorrow. Or maybe YOU can tell me!

Bear with me while I learn. The first button likes the POST. The second button likes the BLOG site. Please help me by "liking" me. Thanks!
NO NEED TO CLICK TILL I TELL YA: RESERVED FOR NOT SAFE FOR WORK STUFF

Tuesday, November 14, 2006

Best Books

Here is Publishers Weekly's list of 2006 BEST BOOKS. Three romance books made it and one of them is Marjorie Liu's Shadow Touch! Y'all know I'm a fan of her stories and I'm so happy for her. The other two authors are Nora Roberts and Kasey Michaels, so you can see what an outstanding achievement it is to be picked!

Are you planning to read any of the other books on this list? There are so many interesting sounding titles, and not so much time ;-(. I might pick up Yang's American Born Chinese.

We, especially our kids, are so bombarded with other media these days. What would you do to make them read more? These teachers
ATE WORM BURGERS! Now these are very dedicated teachers ;-).

When I was a little kid, I didn't need any encouragement to read at all. I loved stories, especially fairy tales. My favorite author was Enid Blyton and she was probably the first author I glommed on. She introduced me to the intricacies of detective work and high adventure (The Secret Seven and Adventurous Five series) and she perked my interest in fantasy (The Secret Faraway Tree books).

Of course, I didn't have the Internet or Ipod to pull me away from books. Would I have remained a reader if I had what children have now, I wonder? When the first Walkman came out, I owned it, but it wasn't constantly attached to my ear. I wasn't obsessed in collecting more cassettes to listen to the way I was obsessed with getting the next reading fix.

When the first VCR came out, my family was very addicted to the Chinese Kungfu Soap Operas imported from Hong Kong; it was the family thing to do, to sit around the TV to watch the latest three episodes (three fit into one VCR/Beta). But I never considered not reading any of my monthly Mills And Boons books!

Never in my imagination, though, could I have envisioned us all chatting via Internet the way we do now. We are so hooked by this Black Hole of Information that I think we've lost a lot of time to read. So. I blame thee, Internet! ;-P Do you think, if you didn't have your puter, you'd read even more today? Of course, those of you who grew up with a computer in the household probably are wondering how on earth we survived without one! LOL.

Bear with me while I learn. The first button likes the POST. The second button likes the BLOG site. Please help me by "liking" me. Thanks!
NO NEED TO CLICK TILL I TELL YA: RESERVED FOR NOT SAFE FOR WORK STUFF

Monday, November 13, 2006

Two Little Uber-Spies-to-be!

Is there a Hacker Bug Spray? Man, I'm being spammed like crazy. The new thing is some email from a name, let's say Peter Poop, with the subject being Peter 412. I'm getting hundreds of these! And why 412? Is that a SeKret NumBer? ;-P

Anyway, I spent all yesterday trying to kill a hijacker in my system (that sounds violent, doesn't it?) because whoever that sent that trojan had hidden it in the registry. I really, really hate trojans at this point. Nasty stuff.

I wanted to write a thesis on who is badder: Black Ice's Bastien or Cold As Ice's Peter but life keeps interrupting. Da Bastard vs Da Peter, heh. Who wins Da Bad title? It'd be an interesting exercise since I lurv me some Anne Stuart Bad Boys. If I have time I'd make up some questionaire that'll tell you whether you're a Bastien Bitch or a Peter Pet. :-P

If I sound a little too up, it's because we're still celebrating over our Gators coming back to win the other night. Beating old Coach Spurrier. Yeeeha! Or rather, Chomp! Chomp! That's about all the football I really watch, other than good old Buckeye State.

Also, my youngest sister just gave birth to the most adorable little girl. Here are my two cute nieces: Tasha and Nikita. I can't wait to see them at Thanksgiving!





Bear with me while I learn. The first button likes the POST. The second button likes the BLOG site. Please help me by "liking" me. Thanks!
NO NEED TO CLICK TILL I TELL YA: RESERVED FOR NOT SAFE FOR WORK STUFF

Saturday, November 11, 2006

Uber Pain In The Neck

Blogger is trying to get everyone to switch to their new version. So they make the old version (the one I'm using) move at the pace of a snail. Conspiracy, thy name is Blogger. Or Google, since they're the PTB. You know they want to rule the world!

I'll return this evening to answer comments...but meanwhile,

I hurt my neck again. So now I walk around like Igor. If that's not a funny enough thing, read this, courtesy of Vanessa Jaye. It's a great send up of J.R. Ward's Black Dagger Brotherhood. It's
Interview With The Half-Brothahs

Bear with me while I learn. The first button likes the POST. The second button likes the BLOG site. Please help me by "liking" me. Thanks!
NO NEED TO CLICK TILL I TELL YA: RESERVED FOR NOT SAFE FOR WORK STUFF

Thursday, November 09, 2006

Uber Pulp Fiction

It's the season for trojans and I don't mean the good kind. My Virus Protection program has caught five of those suckers in my puter system the last few days and I'm not happy. Damn hackers. They harvest your email so they can spam you (how do they get paid by the products, that's what I want to know) and they track your little cybertrails so they can find out where you go. I detest these people. Is it bad to wish evil thoughts on them everyday?

Writing has been painful. Words aren't coming out right. The state of agony isn't conducive to romantic scenes. Just check out this video about a male writer trying to finish his romance novel. You'll see what I mean:




Disgustingly funny, isn't it? ;-) That ending! Oh Lord. Now you understand my self-portrait on the right side of the blog.


Bear with me while I learn. The first button likes the POST. The second button likes the BLOG site. Please help me by "liking" me. Thanks!
NO NEED TO CLICK TILL I TELL YA: RESERVED FOR NOT SAFE FOR WORK STUFF

Wednesday, November 08, 2006

Uber Bird Story

I had a neckache all yesterday. It killed any desire to enjoy my rainy day off.

Then I saw this:



My head jerked up so fast, my neck snapped back into place. Heh. Sweeet. So now you know the cure for neckaches.

At Shit and Grits, there is a regular who always talk to imaginary people on the cell phone. He claims to have been tested by aliens too, so the waitresses all call him Alien.

Mr. Alien leaned across the aisle between the tables yesterday and casually asked Ranger Buddy, who was reading the newspaper, "Hey, Ranger Man, have you read the book March of the Dodo Birds?"

Ranger Buddy looked up, in his usual deadpan, excellent timing fashion, and said, "Don't you mean March of the Pelicans?"

"Oh yeah," Mr. Alien said, "March of the Pelicans. That's what I meant. Dodo birds are extinct. Did you read it?"

"Read about pelicans marching? No, was it a death march?"

"Well, they were all marching up to the north you know. It's cold up there. So I guess it's a death march of sorts."

At this point, I was trying not to snicker out loud behind my laptop. You got to picture this: an Alien abductee at one table. Two roofers, one with a laptop, at the other. Talking about pelicans marching.

One of the other roofers at another table, not so quick at deadpanning obviously, pompously corrected us all. "You guys are so wrong. It's March of the Penguins, you idiots."

At which, RB and I burst out laughing, because of course, it was just that funny.


Alien turned to the third roofer and superciliously replied, "Pelicans, Penguins, dodo birds, they are all the same."

"They're all marching the death march," RB said solemnly, and added, "and they'll all be extinct some time."

Mr. Alien nodded sagaciously.

"You guys are nuts," sniffed the other roofer. "Why don't you just go back to talking about aliens and politics?"

"We were," Ranger Buddy said.

Mr. Alien continued nodding. "Stupid penguin," he declared.

I've been wondering why I haven't been able to write well at that restaurant.... Dodo birds on a death march is just not conducive to a sexy scene between Helen and Shahrukh, you know?

So now I have a visual of thousands of pelicans, penguins and dodo birds marching. Except that the Dodo is really extinct. It was a bird that was too big to fly and had no natural enemies on the island of Mauritius. And with the arrival of explorers and DOGS...there went the last dodo birds.

Ah, my favorite diner has the best philosophers, don't you agree? And they don't even serve alcohol.

So, if some of you are unhappy about anything this morning, over personal or political events, hopefully, either the picture of the handsome Grey's Anatomy men would cure it, or at least, know that it's just the march of dodo birds. I mean, penguins. They're all the same when they're marching ;-).

Bear with me while I learn. The first button likes the POST. The second button likes the BLOG site. Please help me by "liking" me. Thanks!
NO NEED TO CLICK TILL I TELL YA: RESERVED FOR NOT SAFE FOR WORK STUFF

Monday, November 06, 2006

I Need An Uber Assistant Like Peter Jensen

I spent some time printing out my FYEO entries yesterday. Gosh, has it been two years since I started blogging about COMCEN? I'm nowhere near done printing--there are tons of information there!

Part of the reason I'm doing it is to keep stuff straight in my head. Some readers would email me about where to look for certain information and although I know what I wrote, I don't know when I posted it. This way, I can sort of peruse my file quickly and answer questions. The only thing wrong with this system is that Blogger has the most recent post first (of course, makes sense that way) and so I have to file backwards. Only, the page numbers on top are now backwards too! LOL.

I'm going to have to figure out a way to make it less complicated. Looking at the new Beta Blogger, I notice they allow you to file things under different topics, so maybe I can create "Hunter Files" or "Jed Stuff" or "Diamond Tidbits." But are we allowed to do this to old posts? I have no idea. And no time to play around yet. So, for now, it's just reliance on the old grey matter.

One day, I'll be super-rich ;-) and hire an assistant to do just this sort of stuff, updating and filing all the website pages, as well as take care of paperwork. Dream, dream, dream....

Talking about assistant, I finished Anne Stuart's Cold As Ice. This is Peter Jensen's story; he's the one who's so in control he can do a man and not be bi-, bwahahaha. In CAI, he plays super-assistant to the bad guy, getting everything done without a problem, including somehow providing a can of TAB for the heroine while they were in the middle of the ocean.

The story was so good, I read it twice, but I still love Bastien's book, Black Ice better. The villain in CAI is totally out of a Bond movie, very wealthy, very over-the-top megalomaniac intending to rule the world through some super secret weapon of mass destruction. Black Ice villains were a bit more subtle and dangerous in comparison.

One thing that I didn't like was the way it ended. Not the HEA, which was Stuart Fabulouso, but the part before, when the heroine was in danger and the hero was saving her. One of my hot buttons is "silly female rushing in without weapons or plans of any sort to HELP her hero" scenario (Hate. Hate!), so that might be why I didn't enjoy that scene ;-). I know not everyone can be Sydney Bristow from Alias, but there must be a way to solve this problem of needing to go after your man who's after the bad guy when you're the one he'd come to save. There must be a way to pound into that kind of woman's head that she might be putting him in more danger! There must be! Assistant, file that under Things That Make Me Go GAH.

We'll have to talk more of Peter Jensen. We haven't touched on his sexual "ability" yet!

What's your hot button in a suspense?

Bear with me while I learn. The first button likes the POST. The second button likes the BLOG site. Please help me by "liking" me. Thanks!
NO NEED TO CLICK TILL I TELL YA: RESERVED FOR NOT SAFE FOR WORK STUFF

Sunday, November 05, 2006

Romance Has The Best Uber Spies!

It's Silly Sunday Commercial ;-).

I was thinking (and it hurts on a Sunday) how in a romance story, every little look and gesture has an impact on the opposite sex. For example, Marlena (Into Danger) walks into a bar.

In a mainstream suspense, Marlena walks into a bar and the story will focus on the small suitcase she is carrying. Not a briefcase. A suitcase. There might be some focus on the fact too that she is all in leather and alone, but mostly, the narration will be all about that stupid suitcase and maybe why she is alone in a bar. The hero would probably be thinking about how he's going to get information from this target and how he'd stick to her like glue for the next few days, blah blah blah.

In a spy-fi romance, the focus is all on the woman from the POV of the male protagonist and how she's affecting him. Yes, the writer must subtly feed the reader that there is some intrigue going on, that our man's tied up to the suitcase somehow, but it's important to show that his senses are involved. He watches every one of her moves, studies the way she holds herself and the way she treats the males who approach her, getting to know her his way. Why? Because the romance hero is ultimately the alpha animal scenting a mate in its presence and he's unconsciously planning to have That Female all to himself. All unconscious, but all so deliciously obvious to the reader.

THEN insert the spy action because our romantic little hearts are already engaged. The male protagonist might have been ordered to kill the female protagonist but we know that's doomed because hah, the author/Cupid has set them up, poor things. The challenge now is to weave the intrigue and romance together and not lose the balance of action and emotion.

The following commercial plays on the same theme but from the female POV. It's every man's fantasy ;-), but done in a funny way because another oily balding guy is involved. His reaction when the male protagonist licks the envelope at the end gets me cackling every time. Poor dude.



Remember--every little gesture and look counts in a romance. In between killing bad spies, of course. It'd have been better if the guy in the ad is a bit bulkier, heehee. Why are European dudes so gangly? They need more pizza in them!!!


It's funny how there are so many ads like this targeting men. I haven't really seen one where a woman wearing a certain perfume will get such male reaction ;-). If you have seen any, send them my way!

Bear with me while I learn. The first button likes the POST. The second button likes the BLOG site. Please help me by "liking" me. Thanks!
NO NEED TO CLICK TILL I TELL YA: RESERVED FOR NOT SAFE FOR WORK STUFF

Friday, November 03, 2006

McQuirky

I'm cracking up at a comment I saw last night after watching Grey's Anatomy.

You're both single now, McDreamy. Get in there and Carpe Mere's Diem, yo.

Hehehehehehehe. That's the thing about writin for televison versus a good romance novel. You can't read the whole book! And every shipper who wants the happy ending for Mere and Der will just have to wait week after week after week as the writers serve us tidbits of the relationship.


Not so in a romance novel because we get to focus on good conversation and juicy heat between our favorite characters and stay in their heads as they "grow." On television, I'm banging my head at the non-verbage between Mere and Der. Is it just me, or did McDreamy spend the whole darn episode grunting and making pig noises from his throat? LOL.

That's why writing a romance is difficult. The writer has to keep her focus on the main couple AND still carry the plot along for a few hundred pages. Imagine a whole hour of that happening on Grey's Anatomy. ZZzzzzzZZZzzz.

Someone once said to me that there were too many rules in writing a romance. "A romance doesn't move from point A to point B and tada! Happy ending," she said. "Where's the dysfunctional part?"

It's a valid point, but flawed. All writing, in essence, is about craft, and all craft inherently has rules. A romance = happy ending is Rule #1. A mystery = smoking gun somewhere. A horror story = taboo themes.

You choose to write in one genre, that's how it works; just as if you choose to play in a certain sport, there are rules to that game. Some cynics don't like this "rule" and look down on the romance genre because it isn't "real" life. That comment always cracks me up too. There's a reason why it's called fiction, you know.

Everyone is given the choice to play this game or not ;-). It's all about enjoyment. We don't watch the relationships on Grey's Anatomy because it's "real" life, but because it's entertaining and so well-written that the show makes you invest yourselves in its characters. And that's what good romances do.

Right?


Bear with me while I learn. The first button likes the POST. The second button likes the BLOG site. Please help me by "liking" me. Thanks!
NO NEED TO CLICK TILL I TELL YA: RESERVED FOR NOT SAFE FOR WORK STUFF

Thursday, November 02, 2006

Uber B(L)ond Spy

Are you going to watch the new James Bond? Casino Royale, I think. At first, from what I could see, I didn't feel that he could pull it off.

I just saw the trailer and the man cleaned up soooooo goooood. He had that inscrutable coolness and suaveness that I've always imagined in my Bond heroes.

Daniel Craig can be the new Alex Diamond. Watch the trailer and see whether you can detect some Diamond in him (besides him being blond). That first scene, showing his second "kill." Oh, yeah. The aloofness. The heat in those ice-cold eyes when he looked at his woman. ***fanning self



Yeah, I think I'll like DC as Bond after all.


Bear with me while I learn. The first button likes the POST. The second button likes the BLOG site. Please help me by "liking" me. Thanks!
NO NEED TO CLICK TILL I TELL YA: RESERVED FOR NOT SAFE FOR WORK STUFF

Wednesday, November 01, 2006

Uber-Sick

Mood Today




Bear with me while I learn. The first button likes the POST. The second button likes the BLOG site. Please help me by "liking" me. Thanks!
NO NEED TO CLICK TILL I TELL YA: RESERVED FOR NOT SAFE FOR WORK STUFF

DAILY DOSE OF CUTE PUPPINESS

Send My Publisher A Nudge